How do women perceive arrogant men like this? (self.asktrp)

submitted by no_thanks80

I was at a bar with a friend the other night. We'll call him Bob for the sake of this story. The bar was very crowded, Bob and I were seated next to a group of five women. Two were standing and three were sitting. One of the women taps Bob on the shoulder and asks if their friends can have our seats. These women are HB7 - HB10 for context. Bob simply pretends not to notice while giving me an astonished facial expression. She taps him again and repeats herself. Bob simply says "no thanks" and goes back to our conversation. The women become quite upset tap Bob again to get his attention and call Bob an "asshole" and "not a gentleman". Bob responds be saying "you all are very beautiful, but when you open your mouth to make noise your attractiveness plummets; I'm a fucking neonatal surgeon and save kids for a living, learn how to speak to your betters." They're stunned and speechless. Bob and I actually end up bouncing a few minutes later to go to a friend's condo.

So my question is how did these women perceive Bob? He is 5' 10'' and dressed very nicely with an average build. Clearly, he is profoundly arrogant and has a solid frame. Was he seen as a disobedient beta or an asshole alpha? Your thoughts? Also, how would bystanders who are women perceive this? Upset Impressed?

[–]2SirKolbath 103 points104 points  (5 children)

There is nothing arrogant about Bob or how he handled these women. It's pretty goddamn arrogant of them to even ask someone they don't know to give up their seat.

I was 13 minutes into a 45-minute run on the treadmill once and these two high school age tarts came up to me and asked if I could stop my workout and move to another treadmill so that they could be on two treadmills side by side and talk.

I said, "Of course not. You should know better than to even ask." Of course, I became the asshole for not giving in to them immediately. They started getting shrill until the owner of the gym came by and I flagged her down and asked her to quell the noise.

Fuck these spoiled, self-righteous, entitled whores. Figuratively as well as literally.

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


    [–]2SirKolbath 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    I don't know. They can always ask. But they should accept a no where it is dropped. Your story is worse. One should never interrupt a workout.

    For a brief period when I was recovering from a car accident, I walked with a cane. Despite that injury, which resulted in a knee comprised mostly of cadaver bone and cartilage, not one time did I ever ask someone to give up their seat for me.

    I can't imagine the arrogance it would take to interrupt a private conversation to ask someone to give me their chair. A chair at a table they aren't using, sure. We've all done that at a restaurant or whatever. But a chair that has an ass already in it?! Hell no.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]2SirKolbath 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Well you didn't ask. In this world nothing of value will just be given to you by strangers. You want a seat? Ask for it.

      If I wanted a seat, I should have got there before the guy that's sitting in it.

      If there was a way to just move two seats and everybody is happy I'd do it if she was requesting it politely.

      That's your call. For me, unless the phrase, "Please sir, I'll suck your cock and give you twenty bucks," is included, the odds are pretty low that she's getting a yes out of me. Now, bear in mind that OP seems to be describing a very entitled bitchprincess. I'm not mean, and if it's a matter of moving one seat to the left, yeah, that'd be a different matter.

      But no, I'm not going to stand so you can get off your heels, sweetheart. You wore them for pointing at the ceiling, not walking in, anyway.

      [–]TRP VanguardWhisper 80 points81 points  (7 children)

      He handled this well, but not as well as he could have.

      By talking about who he is and what he does, he allowed a element of defensiveness to enter his tone. How this was perceived is anyone's guess.

      When a woman behaves in a selfish, entitled fashion, it is better to show that you are an authority figure by taking charge and holding her to account, rather than telling her you are one and attempting to do so.

      Consider this hypothetical response:

      "You made a request, I have declined it. Perhaps tantrums work on the men you are used to, but I do not find them charming, or impressive. If you wish to inspire men to behave like gentlemen, then you need to start behaving like a lady."

      [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (0 children)


      Calling out the DEER.

      But to Bob's defense.. specialty surgeons are pretty much the definition of socially retarded god complex guys - the stress and social self-ostracism during the school years means that they do not develop the same skillset as normies that grew up hanging with others. Surgeons have the same social acumen as 16 yr old boys... that's where the learning about societal conventions stopped.

      I made a comment yesterday about why Not Quite Right kids face an uphill battle...

      Taking my ball and going home.

      "I'll always give up my seat for a lady...let me know if you see one."


      Edit: Honored.

      [–]AskYouEverything 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Way too verbose

      [–]thefisherman1961 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      It could go either way. By talking about who he is and what he does, he was just verbally assaulting them with extreme arrogance by knocking them off the pedestal and putting himself there instead. Women are very attracted to arrogance and confrontation, and he did both of those to an extreme. Even though he was DEERing he didn't come off that way with the way he framed it.

      [–]Metalageddon 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      He wasn't an asshole. They're not entitled to his seat.

      He handled it okay. I wouldn't have said so much though, probably just a "don't use tantrums, they're for unattractive children."

      [–]edwardhwhite 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      That is better than giving them up. The "betters" comment is beta.

      [–]wanderer779 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Asking again after the 'no thanks' was rude. His last response was obviously rude. That's how I see it anyway.

      [–]BestSC86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      They weren't attracted to him....they saw him as beta boy.....

      But the real issue was that they were entitled bitches who trade on their pussygenetics to get their wishes in life, usually from blue-pilled betas who will act in the "appropriate gentlemen" fashion and hand their seats over to them...thinking that by showing their nice, gentlemenly ways, these girls are going to want to get naked and fuck . NOT GOING TO HAPPEN with this type of entitled bitches.

      They will commandeer the seats, then freeze out the fools who hand them over until some alpha, attractive dudes come sliding by, at which time they will send out the attraction signals for those guys to join their group.

      Unfortunately your friend isn't reflecting his superior value very well so even his outburst didn't register on these chicks as anything more than try-hard and bitter.

      He needs to hit the gym and work more on making himself more attractive...though he was actually lucky in that these skanks revealed early that they were entitled bitches and you do not want that type in your life.

      [–]brinkleybuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It's a sad sign of the times that a man who acts like he has self respect is considered arrogant.

      So my question is how did these women perceive Bob?

      Who gives a shit how they perceived him. What's important is Bob didn't put these chicks on a pedestal. Good for him.

      I didn't like his answer though. Should have said "you can have these stools when we're done", end of conversation.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I agree with not giving up hi seat just b/c the girls were attractive. I don’t agree with how he elaborated on his profession and somehow used it to justify not giving up his seat. This could have been perceived as arrogant. A better response would have been “when I decide to leave the seats are yours” and just leave it at that. Any chick who argued any further would be an entitled bitch and and would have deserved to stand.

      [–]hugecockgang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He should have told the girls to sit on your laps

      [–]life_is_dumb 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      He said way too much and made it about him which implied insecurity. He should've just ignored her then gave a one sentence reply about her only if she kept insisting. I think the girls probably viewed him as compensating for his insecurity by being so over the top with his response.

      [–]Chief-Slap-A-Ho 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Tbh this entire story reeks of insecurity. There is no reality where giving them your seat would have been the right move but telling someone you're better then them because you're a "neonatal surgeon" and "a better" is not only childish, it's irrelevant. No one is entitled to your seat, but demanding respect based on your career in a scene where your career is not relevant is absurd. You went from being in the right to just being a douche.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      They would percieve him as one of the few men with their balls intact. They would consciously call him an asshole and pretend they hate him while subconsciously precieve him as having higher value than them.

      [–]Throwawaysteve123456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Um. He fucking destroyed them. Yet he did it in a way that likely would result in them never fucking them. The women were likely getting mixed feelings of anger towards him and themselves for fucking it up.

      [–]Adreamdead -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Good for him! Theses cunts wanted “equality”and are Feminist they got what they wanted

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)


      [–]LordThunderbolt 9 points10 points  (6 children)

      You're a dump and an idiot. You're trying to negotiate a seat for attraction. What happens when she takes ur seat and isn't about whatever bullshit you're selling? The same thing that happens when u buy a chick a drink and she isnt a bout the bullshit you're selling.

      Bob is an A1 motherfucker. He's a highly valuable and highly skilled guy. He knows his value, comoared to whatever value these sloots think they have. He has every right to put them in their place and knock them down their high horses.

      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)


      Guess why these women even considered their behaviour acceptable?

      Because thirsty beta chumps bend over backwards to even get the vaguest hint of a smlle from them.

      They've learned they can simply use most men, as most men allow themselves to be used.

      Don't hate them, if I could walk up to some chick, rub my junk against them and instantly get a drink/seat/ride home, you bet I'd do it. You would too. It's learned behaviour... push the button, get a treat. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

      Bob done good.


      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      What did he say?

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      Basically the deleted poster assumed her asking for his seat was an IOI/opener.

      Full on thirsty beta chump.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I see.

      Could that be used as a shittest? For example, a woman is attracted to you, but wants to test and see if you are desperate enough for her approval to give up your own seat for her? Not saying this was the case in this scenario, just asking more generally.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Maybe, but it's a beta leaning tactic.... She's already thinking you're beta. you must prove alpha. Why would she assume your betaness?

      If a girl you just met is bold enough to ask you “So are you gonna buy me a drink or what?”, it means she is not attracted to you and does not respect you as a man. A woman who is attracted in a sexual way to you will also have feelings of respect for you. She will not risk blowing up the rapport and possible future dates by uttering a clumsy, socially retarded question like that.

      From Here

      [–]no_thanks80[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Bob is 5' 10'' that's taller than the average man...

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What did he say?

      [–]Adreamdead -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      The only thing the perceive is that they’re on to the next dick. How many guys do you think girls pass on an average day? If they’re rich they’ll still live him. Girls live what you are not who you are. r/mgtow