72
73

Resources for a man who is in a physically abusive relationship with his wife...(she beats him, bad) (self.asktrp)

submitted by 10211799107

If there are any lawyers here who i could DM for guidance id appreciate it, or to get reaoursec for the state he's in.

Male friend just had twins with his wife 3mo ago. He's 38 she's 41. In vitro coz she was too fucked up to get pregnant that late. Shes an OBGYM, high position at multiple hospitals and (apparently) makes a boat load of cash, multiple hundreds of thousands. He has a business he bought recently, sounds like she makes more than him. She started abusing him shorty after the birth.

Things that happens regularly:

  1. She holds the twins in both arms and talks to them saying things like "Your dad is a dumb motherfucker I'm going to divorce him.When you guys grow up you'll know how fucked up he is"

  2. She chases him out the house and he sleeps on the garage floor or in his truck outside in the parking lot. Asks him the morning after if "he learned his lesson"

  3. Flips her shit randomly screaming at him that she's gonna divorce him and he'll pay child support.

  4. When he tries to ignore her she hits him in the head with her fists (he has pictures of his black eyes she gave him, showed them to me)

  5. She offered him 100k to sign the kids away never seeing them again. Of course he doesn't want to do that. He doesnt want to divorce because he'll see the kids once a month etc.

Ive never seen a man so beaten down when we met up. I told him to document the abuse somehow, if anyone here has exoerience with this please let me know. His concern is not money or child support but just see his kids when they split. She already told him she saw a lawyer.

Thanks guys.


[–]1984Survivor 89 points90 points  (3 children)

go to r/legaladvice immediately, they will provide you with valuable info.

this is very fucked up. do it asap

[–]jozefiak0308 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I would do this for the soundest advice. You need to start gathering evidence and speaking to a divorce attorney ASAP. Sounds like your lady is going a bit apeshit, so make sure you get the kids.

Best of luck.

[–]TankVet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

To be fair, they’re just going to recommend getting an actual lawyer immediately.

[–]bosshawg502 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Whatever happens our buddy wants to get out in front of this. He's gonna be 10x worse off if he waits for her to start initiating the divorce etc. he needs to act very quickly

[–]daytonbull90 54 points55 points  (1 child)

He needs hidden cameras NOW. As for the rest, it goes against everything in my being to say this but, show him RP.

[–]__uwotm8__ 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This. Hidden cams, mics, record phone calls, keep messages, everything. If it’s just his word against hers, she can and she probably will get him thrown in jail. He needs evidence that she’s crazy and abusive. Enough of that and he will get full custody and compensation. And she will definitely lose her job.

[–]username_7372 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What the fuck... keep us updated

[–]tdreampo 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Seriously listen to no ones advice but his lawyers, which he needed yesterday. Everyone likes to talk about how this is or that is the law and unless they are a lawyer they are wrong. Hell the law is so complicated even lawyers sometimes get it wrong.

Prepare for the fight of his life and prepare to fight for his kids, for years.

Document everything possible, video and audio and get it to the lawyer. Yesterday!

Then get out. It will only get worse and more violent.

This women has A REAL disorder of some sort and red pill advice is wrong for this situation.

Get out.

[–]10211799107[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Slowly trying to convince him to prepare for the fight of his life. He's very delusional still about hoping it works out. After our talk he seems to have his eyes more open.

[–]tdreampo 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Physical violence is a complete and immediate deal breaker for a relationship. It will NEVER improve once someone crosses that line. Him staying in a toxic relationship and a dangerous one no less is a bad example to his children.

Ask him this

If one of your siblings was going through this what would you tell them?

[–]10211799107[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

He's in the grey zone where the bluepill reality is pulling him in but he sees the red side and realizes its fucked up. Lisgening to him it seems hes trying so bad to hold on to the blue string. Im meeting up with him when shes not around to discuss what he pondered on this weekend. Im going to preswnt him with this game plan of dxumenting and recording, and hopefully convince him to get a fucking lawyer asap

[–]tdreampo 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This is no longer a blue pill/red pill issue. This is one of real abuse. Even after he physically heals the mental damage she is doing to him (and will do to his kids.) will be long lasting.

I love trp, it saved my life. But when it comes to dealing with abuse and bpd or women with actual real issues it’s lacking. I hate to say there is no hope but there isn’t. She hit him, gave him black eyes AND HE STAYED. That respect can NEVER be earned back. And does he really want to live the rest of his life wondering when he will get hit again? Wonder if this is the fight that will do it? Getting anxiety every time she walks in the room FOREVER?

Her certainly needs to grow a spine, (what self respecting man goes and sleeps in the garage?? )

But this relationship is already over, he just needs to realize that and leave.

[–]10211799107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

agreed. I can see his wheels spin in his head bout all this. He knows the truth just needs to see a fucking lawyer.

[–]Y_Chromosomal_Adam 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Oh man I've been in that situation. I know what it's like to convince yourself that the alternative is worse than whatever you are going through. It took getting arrested for assault myself for me to decide that I couldn't live like that anymore. I worry that sometimes it will take getting hit over the head with a traumatic event to get unstuck. If that's the case, no amount of advice is going to help--the thing is just going to have to play out.

I have first hand experience with everything he is experiencing here. There is, however, an important distinction. He has a friend that knows exactly what is going on. I'm assuming that there is more than one person that knows about this. In my case, I kept it all private. Not even my best friends or family knew what was going on. That meant my ex controlled the narrative of course, but more than that, it meant that none of the people who could support me knew anything was wrong until we were well into disaster territory. The fact that he has people that both know and care will bode well for him in the time to come. Hell, the fact that he is even willing to share these things and develop a support system will bode well. That's a mistake that I won't make twice.

I have a lot of advice on what happens on the other side--when you come out of the relationship--but there is not a lot that can be done for someone who is stuck like that. I'll offer the one thing that might help; and this is the one thing I think I could have done for myself that may have helped:

He's got all these ideas in his head about what the reality would be if he left or got a divorce on his own. Maybe the culture has beat it into his personality about what happens in divorce: loses all his money, broke with child support, never sees his kids. My experience, with a sample size of 1, is that the reality is never that extreme. This is especially true if he keeps his wits about him and fights for what's important without just rolling over. Once I got out of that marriage and saw what life was, I wished I had done it a lot sooner. What he needs in this moment is clarity. He needs to meet with people, maybe like an actual divorce attorney, who know what the truth is. Now I can't guarantee that he is going to have a similar outcome to mine. I can't even guarantee that it will be a good one or that he will like it--his life will change drastically--but I am pretty certain that it's not going to be as bad as he thinks it is. Go out there and get some advice from people who know what they are talking about. Don't rely on internet forums or what you "think" you know. I spent too much time outsmarting myself.

[–]10211799107[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Thank you for this reply. Im definitely going to tell him to get a lawywr asap. One thing he's hesitant on is telling the lawyer about the abuse, hes feeling like a pussy for being beaten by a woman. Im trying to convince him that this documentation of it might be the only thing to help him to get custody or at least more than one weekend a month etc.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If he doesn't tell the story, it might be difficult for him to see the kids regularly. She makes more than him and probably has a better lawyer. If he can document everything and the abuse and can prove that she is unfit tk be a mother because of her mental instability, he can end up with the custody of the babies and she would have to pay him child support. Such rulings are minority but there are precedents already set. He has to at least prove that the kids can't grow up in an abusive environment. Who knows after he leaves, she might start beating the kids up.

[–]10211799107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the fucked up part about holding the kids and saying those things is very disturbing. He feels duped into having his sperm stolen in a sense just so she could get pregnant at this age and teying to oay him off too

[–]Big_Gifford 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is rough, but Im gonna go against the RP advise here and ask was this her personality before kids? Reason im asking is postpartum is a bitch and twins wreck havoc on the hormones, especially if the twins are the same sex. Her being a doctor, has probably told herself that she is fine but is overlooking key signs, and from what you said, sounds like she is suffering. You gotta be so careful with that stuff. Im a dad of boy/girl twins, i remember 1 hr in particular where my wife gave me a wicked blow job, cried about laundry, flipped her shit about me not matching socks and then saying im the best dad ever... bitches be crazy.

[–]10211799107[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

She was okay before. At one point he told me hes not sure if this is the right thing and secrety hoped she would lose the fetuses. He slept in a hotel for a month while she was halfway through pregnancy. He chalked it up to hormones but shit got bad when they arrived. He says his gut feels like he was duped just for free sperm. Offering 100k to pay him off and never seeing the kids is super fucked up.

[–]Big_Gifford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its very fucked. Only he knows for sure. If he was "free sperm" to a women who is aging (which women do...they see the window closing...especially after years of school and work) then he should seek lawyer advice.

[–]MissingQuark 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Sounds like she may be going through some sort of postpartum psychosis if she only started acting this way after the birth. I have no idea what to do in this situation but If he once cared about her I’d advise asking some mental health professionals and learning more about that route, rather than going on the attack and contacting lawyers.

[–]10211799107[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I thought about this too but she already saw a lawyer. I dont know if birth can fuck you up that bad. Eother way yhe situation is fucked for him

[–]MissingQuark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s some famous cases where mothers murdered their children due to postpartum psychosis, and after some time they went back to normal. So yea it can get pretty bad unfortunately. I wish the best of luck to him.

[–]HurricaneHugues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck youuu. Thats not his problem. Psychosis or not, he doesnt need to deal with that bullshit. They can find out if its psychosis AFTER he soeaks to a lawyer and files the charges. Those are her mental problems, not his. He shouldnt have to pay for this bullshit.

[–]menial_optimist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm no expert but that dude needs to start recording everything on video. Honestly somebody that abusive should be destroyed. Her career, custody and finances could easily be destroyed if he plays his cards right.

[–]DanAffid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hidden cameras, lawyer etc.

Understand: Weak man has no value to society, he will get no sympathy from police or society, the narrative should be he's afraid she'll hurt herself andor the kids. Postpartum depression fucked her up, but after someone learns he can abuse you without repercussions - they just gonna escalate.

[–]I_am_Jax_account 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a lot of people advocating documentation and a lawyer which are both good ideas but the lawyer needs to come first because, depending which state your in, as fucked up as this sounds, recording people unknowingly in their own home might get you in more trouble than them even if you are being abused (in double party consent state). However, if you are in a single party consent state, getting secret video and audio recordings is an excellent idea.

I have family members who do family law and this situation isn't as crazy or unusual as it sounds. One guy I heard about ended up sleeping in a detached, unheated garage in the winter while his house was empty and his ex-wife was living with her boyfriend.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He needs to see a lawyer... and he needs TRP but he's not in a position to learn it.

Basically he needs to photo / document / video all this shit happening, keep a diary, keep witness, keep all evidence possible.

The courts may side with him if he is an absolute saint and she is clearly abusive... but it needs solid proof from a man. And he needs to be a SAINT.

[–]PlanKash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

pathetic.

[–]garebear19959 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say.murder suicide is a good plan.

Or move somewhere with a different name so this lady doesn’t get a dime of child support.

[–]bosshawg502 3 points4 points  (6 children)

If you have a legally admissible video of her busting your eye socket and a bomb proof self defense case I'd reconstruct her face. As long as the video was legally recorded and can't be thrown out, fuck that bitch. Obviously don't go overboard just do what you have to in order to end the threat. Check local laws on hidden video before proceeding

[–]10211799107[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I understand where you're coming from, i agree with you. But the focus is having 50/50 custody awarded, or better. We dont want him to have anything he does influence an already fucked up judge's decision.

[–]bosshawg502 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Having a crazy abusive bitch of a mother is a solid case to get the most custody. If she's already got an assault case on her it will look super shitty in family court trust me. You guys will be on the big end of the whole deal

[–]10211799107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely agree. Im meeting up with him soon and hopefully he'll see the light more.

[–]otter6461a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a solid case but the family courts are absurdly biased to the woman. All her faults mean next to nothing. She says “he hit me” and they believe that 100%.

[–]SharpestMarbel 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Don't advise your "friend" to physically harm her. A man showing reasonable restraint will be viewed more favorably. A man getting "hit" and then destroying a woman will be viewed with much suspicion -that's our system under Duluth model.

Her promises of divorce and not seeing the kids are empty threats at most. They should move to an alimony paying state if they are not already in one. With a huge income difference, then he may have an upper hand.

[–]10211799107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is whay i told him. Not sure if its true about her income but they have a 1.8mil dollar home and she makes 800k without bonuses. Shes on boards of hospitals etc apparently.

[–]gains_o_clock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He needs to record everything somehow. God damn I hope she doesn't get the kids and she has to pay child support. For the kids' sake this guy needs to have full custody this is horrifying

[–]bosshawg502 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I'd set up a hidden camera and make sure it sees her hit me like black eye hit me. Then I'd knock that cunts teeth out her ass and drag her into court by her hair with that video in my hand and fuck her shit up.

[–]10211799107[S] 16 points17 points  (4 children)

A man cant hit a woman no matter the circumstances in America.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

And that is why everyone is suggesting hidden cameras. The hitting her was metaphorical.

[–]10211799107[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Not sure how IT savvy he his but thwey have 4 nanny cams.I can help with the backing up part etc for sure

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The nanny cam makes it easier. He can claim the nanny cams were there for the safety of the babies and that it recorded the assault. But first get him to see a lawyer and make sure the video is admissible in court.

When she goes out make sure to place the cameras at the correct places. Record her voice at the very least when she tells the babies about how she beats him. The more evidence the better. And make sure to backup the videos on cloud. She can break a phone or a laptop but she cant possibily break Google or Apple servers. Record conversations in which she is disrespectful as well.

[–]10211799107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cloud backups i can help with no problem. I just bught a keychain usb recorder to have on his keys to record audio. Appreciate the replies man thank you.

[–]dani098 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get a lawyer and put up hidden cameras.

[–]SilkTouchm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd take the 100k rofl. Can always get someone else preggers.

[–]BittyMitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He should gather some evidence to disqualify her as a parent.
The state cares more about the children well being and in this case there is also a high chance she will mistreat her children too.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Add to hidden camera, use a voice recorder on his phone so that he has evidence.

[–]TigerXtrm 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Guy needs to do the following, in this order:

  1. Get his shit and get out. Stay at a friend, a hotel, sleep at the office, whatever. Get out of that hellhole of a situation.

  2. Contact a lawyer and present him with the situation so far and get a divorce in motion.

  3. Setup his phone so that it records every single conversation, both on cell and recording on his person. Back those conversations up in multiple places with date and timestamps, preferably in the meta data.

  4. Arrange for hidden cams at the place he's staying at and backup those files too if she comes around there.

I get all the people here who say he should record the abuse at home. But he should just get the fuck out of that situation ASAP.

A friend of mine has gone through a very similar situation, tried everything to cling on to seeing his children. He had no legal case for custody for various reasons, so they agreed on cash in exchange for the kids spending weekends with him. Needless to say, she demanded more and more money after each payment and eventually he put his foot down and said no, and accepted the consequences. He hasn't seen his children for 3 years now. What he did do was record every phone call with her, saved every app conversation they had, not for legal reasons, but to show to his children if and when they come looking for him one day. So they can see the other side of the bullshit story their mom fed to them.

I would advice your friend to do the same. Also, this shit sounds like some postnatal depression weirdness or something. She might actually be a danger to herself or the children if he changes the status quo. Might want to take that into account before you do anything.

[–]10211799107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I hope he listens to all these suggestions.

[–]antoniofelicemunro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone already said this, but I’m repeating it because it’s the only comment that matters. Hidden cameras, and mics. Save everything. Have videos of her beating him and everything. Even if it’s a two party video consent state, you can use this to blackmail her in person.

[–]priapula 0 points1 point  (0 children)

record shit on ur phone

and tie her up and bdsm

[–]punchyson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ALL incidents need to be journaled, video/audio recorded.

If this guy wants to save the marriage for some reason, he needs to get some dread game going right now. She has 90+% of the power and literally hates him for it. She knows he ain't shit, and that is how women act.

Don't give her the uncontested win. This woman deserves to pay for her treatment of her husband.

[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without documented evidence he's the one who is abusive, a rapist, an a misogynist, according to his wife. The courts will take her ore seriously than him, and they wiol have no kercy in their judgement of him. He would be guilty in the minds of the people of the law before he even goes to trial for anything.

With that said. He needs to start RECORDING audio, video, and photo evidence of all his trials and tribulations at her hand. He should start setting up secret cameras and audio recording devices around the house, so the courts will be able to witness who the wife really is. He should get the wife to admit, one way or another, that she is fery well aware that she is abusing him for no reason and that what she is doing is wrong. He has to get evidence that she knows she is fommitting crimes and being a bitch for no fuckig reason. He needs to get her to confirm at least 3 times that he has never layed a hand on her, hurt her emotionally, or been a bad husband in general to warrant this type of treatment. That way, she can never say to the judge that your friend used to beat her or has been abusive in the past. Without evidence, he is NOTHING to the law, just another abusive, good for nothing, misogynistic husband who deserves to rot in jail. Your friend needs at least 4-6 different instances of this bullshit happening eiher on audio, video, or photo. All the bruises, black eyes, all the hateful words, all the chasing around etc. All that needs to be able to be presented to the judge as facts and not just words. You should also check the laws in your state regarding the recording of people. Check to see if its a one party or two party state.

At the same time, he needs to go see a lawyer! Dont go on the internet, dont go to your other friends. He needs actual legal advice from an actual real life lawyer.

[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Has he even confirmed that they're HIS kids? If he can discretely patternity test them, he should do it, NO MATTER WHAT! If those kids are not biologically his, that's an easy dash with a bag for him

[–]10211799107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked him exactlly this and he scoffed. Truth hurts. Im gonna bring it up again

[–]Herdsengineers 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Yet another guy that's dealt with this kind of thing here.

  1. No matter what she escalates to physically, he CANNOT respond physically. No retaliation. If he can, he should just let her hit him. The police are trained to arrest the "primary aggressor". That's the person that exercises the most force, not the one that starts the fight or throws the first punch. Him being a man, if he retaliates, he automatically becomes the primary aggressor because men are stronger.
  2. If at all possible, never, ever call the police. They will not be on his side, even if he's bruised and bleeding, and she's holding the knife with his blood on it. Better to just leave then rely on the police to help you if you are a man.
  3. He needs a lawyer that specializes in helping men who are on the receiving end of DV from women. He needs to be careful how he vets them all out and pick the right one. It will be a hard thing to do, honestly. He will need help from friends and family in this regard.
  4. He needs to prepare for divorce - copies of all financial accounts and statements, his and his wife's accounts. Values of all assets, values of all debts.
  5. If he has any personal property that is valuable to him in the home, he needs to get it out and store it offsite somewhere. And he should pay for it with a means she can't find out about. Get a PO box, have a new card in his name only, and use that. Or give the stuff to a trusted friend.
  6. Regarding that card, get it anyway, with a PO box where the statements go that she doesn't know about it. The card will be really important. Same thing with a bank account, set it up in his name only and seed it with as much cash as he can.
  7. This next one is super important with regards to custody. He has to remember that if he believes she's dangerous, but he leaves the kids in her care, his actions and words don't jive together. He has to take the kids with him when he makes his move. He needs to line up child care accordingly.
  8. Here's how he needs to make his move - set up secretly recording her, audio/video, etc. But DO NOT take the said evidence to the cops. Take it to his lawyer. Immediately after another incident, he needs to with his lawyer to a magistrate judge on duty and file for a "Civil" exparte restraining order. There are TRO's through civil and criminal courts, he wants to go civil. He needs to take evidence of the most recent incident, as well as evidence of past incidents to show it's an on-going pattern AND an immediate risk.
  9. In this order, he needs to ask for provisions that give him sole temporary custody and bar her from seeing the kids. Again, he needs to be prepared with child care options. He needs to ask for sole, exclusive use of the marital home. He needs to propose a STATE SUPERVISED visitation schedule. Supervised visitation where she is supervised by a friend or family member is not acceptable.
  10. He needs to propose that her supervised visitation order not be rescinded until she completes DV/anger management classes. Hint - she likely won't go.
  11. He needs a lawyer that knows the judges in both magistrate, juvenille, and family court. He needs to make sure said lawyer is willing to destroy his wife in court. He needs to let the lawyer destroy her. His white knight "not want to hurt her" emotions are admirable but counterproductive. The only thing that will serve his and his kids' interests is the nuclear option. It's also the only thing with the remotest chance of enacting consequences harsh enough to get through to her and cause her to change. It's the only thing that has a slight chance of saving his relationship. Hint - chances are really really low, but absolute true zero if he does anything else because she only interpret anything else as weakness that can be exploited.
  12. After the exparte is approved, his wife will be removed temporarily from the home. There will be a hearing where she gets to defend herself. His lawyer needs to eviscerate her in this hearing. He needs to let the lawyer do it and get the TRO made permanent or at least upheld for a long time (3 months, 6 months, a year?).
  13. After that, there will be times when she violates the TRO. He needs to document and turn her in everytime. If he fails to do so, he is implying it's okay for her to violate, and by extension that he doesn't really think she's dangerous. He has to report her when she violates.
  14. Once the TRO is made permanent, he needs to file for divorce. Not until it's permanent. If he can go into the divorce with an already standing restraining order giving him custody and restricting her parenting because she's dangerous to him and the kids, he's got a shot at full custody regardless of their ages. He has to have some plan for child care. Feeding, day care, etc. Best to think that through and be ready to put a plan in motion as he starts all this. Note - women use this tactic all the time. They frame the man as an abuser, hit him with a restraining order, and it's all over.
  15. If the TRO expires before the divorce is done, he needs to apply to extend it. Especially if she is violating contact or not complying with the orders, or orchestrating some other abuse towards him (think financial shit during the divorce).
  16. He has to be committed to this once he starts. The restraining order filing is the opening salvo of a war with her. If he files it, then backs off, tries to be nice, etc., he will lose. She will take his momentary lapse and turn it into a situation to flip the roles on him. Once he fires the opening shot, he's got put the pedal to the medal and not let off, ever, all the way through the divorce.
  17. This is a one time shot. Once it's fired, it won't work again. She'll learn, she'll have a lawyer to advise and teach her better and how to not get caught in this particular cross hairs again. Yet another reason to not let up on her once he starts.

All of it starts with holding composure and frame right now. He's got to set all this up and set up his escape while not cluing her in that he's positioning. If she sniffs it out, she'll likely file false allegations instantly. And by the way, chances are she's been abusive before the kids were born. This doesn't get better. It only gets worse. And if he doesn't start proactively working towards his own best interest, she's gonna beat him down and divorce rape him. If he's lucky, it won't include false DV arrests and what not.

I hope he gets it together for himself. He can either make this fight and maybe win 50/50 or even full, or he can definitely lose his kids no matter what because she'll get custody and alienate them if he allows her to continue as she has been. It's that simple.

[–]10211799107[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thanks man. Im gonna copy this out and show him. I really hope he'll come around and realise he needs to destroy her.

[–]Herdsengineers 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just to clarify - he needs to understand this isn't done out of revenge or retaliation. It's done for self preservation. The legal system has remedies to protect people, if you don't try to use those remedies it's hard to justify claims of severe abuse and danger. The thinking is if you were genuine in your claims, you'd also be taking steps legally that are commensurate with those claims.
That's a long winded way of saying your actions need to match your words - if she's that abusive and dangerous, then his actions need to show that he takes it very seriously, not just his words.

[–]10211799107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Im hoping ill get through to him.

[–]magx01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His resource is right between his legs. I'm sorry but he's a pussy.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a made up story. I can see it if he was some loser (of course, if it's true, he IS some loser) but, it sounds as if he has a successful business, and, his wife fucked him enough to get pregnant.

I'm wondering if their bull did this to him.

[–]temerity18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would be nice to get custody for the kids, child support and lifelong alimony.

[–]Blackedoutsky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell him to man up and stop letting her walk all over him and document everything for when they divorce.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

take bjj and put her into submission every time she tries lol

[–]Blum1989 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Need a T-800 to get involved...