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“I don’t like muscly guys” (self.asktrp)

submitted by Famous86

Wife keeps trying to sabotage my weight loss and fitness goals, trying to make me feel excluded from social situations if where we go won’t fit in with my keto diet and now she’s moved from that to telling me she doesn’t like muscly guys, telling me there are certain builds she finds unattractive and footballer / athletic isn’t one of them.

So far the diet is going well, I’ve lost 4 kilos and good recomp and I’m getting very strong even on a calorie deficit, but I’m only 4 weeks in!

Anyone had this before? Is it a shit test? Any advice from trp perspective?

Bit of background on our relationship, been together 8 years, currently living apart but see each other regularly.


[–]pnzndltn 213 points214 points  (3 children)

She's trying to keep you undesirable to other women so you she doesn't have to worry about you trading up or cheating. It's an attempt at manipulation and control. Tell her oh well, this is how things are now and continue getting in shape. Bonus effect is this keeps her on her toes as she realizes you are sexually valuable to other women and she has to work to keep you.

[–]RobertCarraway 84 points85 points  (0 children)

This. If you improve, then she feels like she needs to also. You are making her uncomfortable with your changes.

Keep up the good work.

[–]brinkleybuzz 20 points21 points  (0 children)

“I don’t like muscly guys”

And OP will get the satisfaction of proving his wife a liar when she fucks and sucks him on demand after he gets ripped.

[–]Casanova-Quinn 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Whenever a man does something that improves his looks it creates competition anxiety in his woman. It’s a passive form of dread game.

[–][deleted] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Women say this to men they want to be beta. My mom always used to say this to me where I would go to the gym. After reading sidebar material I saw mom's want to raise beta males out of inherent need for betas to provide.

Your girl wants you to be a beta provider.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (2 children)

she doesn’t like muscly guys, telling me there are certain builds she finds unattractive

I had a good laugh at this.

[–]Famous86[S] 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Haha I was muscly and athletic when we first met haha

[–]inoxone2014 41 points42 points  (0 children)

This says everything

[–]2chazthundergut 32 points33 points  (6 children)

You're living apart but see her regularly. How often are you fucking?

My best guess is that you guys barely fuck any more. She is very comfortable having you around as a beta male comfort/ provider role, who she doesn't have to put out for anymore.

As you continue your transformation, she sees that your SMV is rising and it is making her a little nervous. Nervous that she won't be able to get away with the bi-monthly starfish sex anymore. Nervous that she might have to start sucking your dick again. Nervous that you might realize your value as a man and regain control of the relationship. And nervous, above all, that you might actually find a different girl to fuck.

So she is doing whatever she can to maintain the status quo.

It is your responsibility as a man to recognize these pathetic games for what they are, ignore them completely, and fuck your woman so good she won't have time to wonder about which body type she prefers. Let alone lecture you about it.

[–]Famous86[S] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Last few months the sex has been terrible though she has a lot of other things going on which I can understand would put her off, I don’t want to go into that, you’ll just have to trust my judgement on that one.

In regards to beta bux, we don’t share accounts anymore, we split bills, every thing is completely even in regards to money.

Other points sound spot on though.

Thanks for the comment

[–]2chazthundergut 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Just a note- I did include "comfort" as one of the beta male roles she sees you as. It isn't always an issue of money; you sound like a very understanding, empathetic partner who cares about his wife's wellbeing. That's fine, and you should maintain those qualities. But biology will not be denied. Women still want to get fucked by a strong, dominant alpha who laughs when she says she doesn't like "muscly guys," picks her up, carries her to the bedroom, and fucks her senseless.

[–]Famous86[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I get it and good point. That emotional support person. Though she always complains I never listen... I’m the type of guy who gives solutions to problems...

She doesn’t even know how strong I am... honestly girls... unless they lift.. have no concept of weight higher than their hand bags.

[–]2chazthundergut 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You are precisely right. Women have no clue. Women feel much safer and more submissive around a guy who barely lifts, if he is physical with her and lets her feel his strength (carrying her, tossing her onto the bed, exerting physical dominance and moving her around at will during sex), rather than a regular weightlifter who treats her like fine china and never lets her feel his physicality. It is all 100% relative and subjective to women.

Anyways, you seem to understand what's going on here. Stay on the path, ignore these put-downs and protests, and keep lifting. You owe it to yourself. Good luck man.

[–]Famous86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks mate

[–]SorcererKing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she has a lot of other things going on

Yes, it's very taxing to be fucking Chad while poison-dripping you too.

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Women are incapable of real thought and survive by mindlessly repeating the general consensus. They're basically the retarded kid in class who repeats what everyone else is saying.

The problem here is you respect women too much. Drink green vegetable juice in morning spinach cucumber mint lemon bit of apple. It will fill you up with fibre so your stomach won't have room for as much garbage.

Easiest way to lose weight.

[–]smirk_addict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to try that. I'm experimenting with my dieting. I cut pretty good with a high protein and carb cycle, but I'm thinking of doing something more consistent and with more whole foods and higher carb intake.

[–]mishasam89 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Women are incapable of real thought and survive by mindlessly repeating the general consensus. They're basically the retarded kid in class who repeats what everyone else is saying

Omg, is this true? lol then how can they get stem degrees/lawyers??

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

telling me there are certain builds she finds unattractive and footballer / athletic isn’t one of them.

Female preferences vary a little.... there is such a thing as too muscly.... but athletic is universally found attractive.

Anyone had this before? Is it a shit test? Any advice from trp perspective?

She's terrified you'll get more attractive, have more options, make her look bad, and/or leave her. This manifests as opposing you in all sorts of irrational and dishonest ways.

It's pretty normal.

Advice: keep going.

Why are you living apart but seeing each other? This makes no sense as a marriage (your commitment, she's free to see other men).

[–]raceAround126 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I don't think this is really woman-specific, it's more everyone.

When I was kicking my weight off, I had no end of people trying to put me back in my box of "that fat guy who always made jokes". You know what I'm saying.

My family, friends, coworkers, without even realizing what they were saying half the time, were trying to derail me, trying to stop me working out. I had mates who would call me up when they knew I was on my way to the gym to come out for drinks and would openly say, "Why bother going to all the effort of lifting, come and get wasted with us".

And don't worry, my SO at the time was one of the worst simply as we lived together and thus there was that proximity for that sort of exposure.

It is just a standard reaction from those around you who just want to derail you. The only answer is keep going, keep doing what you're doing.

People do it for various reasons. They are frankly threatened by your change. They're not doing these things and improving their lives, having someone change radically and doing well at it threatens them. Why? It's making them question their own choices and the older they are the more they have to regret about past decisions. There's nobody alive who hasn't abused their bodies to some degree, be it alcohol, drugs or food. And no matter what anyone says, they all internally regret it to some degree. To see someone going the complete opposite direction makes them question their own selves and their own choices.

Best advice: Let her try these things as much as she wants. When it becomes known that it is totally ineffective, she will quit it eventually.

[–]Modbsutansalt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Crab bucket mentality affects both genders, but women doing it to their SO has reproductive strategy reasons attached to it.

[–]LordThunderbolt 16 points17 points  (12 children)

Tell her straight up "You say this now, but when I get yoked you will beg to suck my cock". Look her straight into her optic spheres and tell it to her straight like that with serious look on your face, then gead out and go lift. You got work to do.

The truth is she WILL be crawling to suck you once u get yoked.

[–]Famous86[S] 11 points12 points  (7 children)

I’m getting more attention and compliments from people in front of her so I think I’ll just let that do the talking.

[–]LordThunderbolt 7 points8 points  (6 children)

No, tell her exactly what I told you to tell her. Don't take the weak way out and avoid confrontation. You need to show that you mean it.

[–]Famous86[S] -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

If my smv was at hers or higher I would, it will just look like I’m in her frame and having a tantrum. She’s a smart girl very high iq and eq, she’s going to see right through that...

[–]akatsukirp 17 points18 points  (3 children)

bro the fuck, the fact that she's saying this shit means she's worried, ie she's in your frame. Her IQ isn't what's messing with her mind, it's her hamster, and she's being a manipulative cunt. Don't let her win. LIFT.

[–]Famous86[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just got a follow up text from her saying “I saw your snap from the pool, jaw line <3”.

Gg

[–]Famous86[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh shit that’s right, she’s trying to get be back into her frame!

[–]Xhaka-Laca 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Tell her exactly what the gentleman above posted. Fuck IQ. Tell her that and immediately after go lift. Incorporate this with dread game when you guys go out. You are on the right track...

[–]LordThunderbolt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're over thinking this and quite frankly you're just being a pussy. If you say with conviction and belief, she will have no choice but to believe you. Is your wife some next level HB15 unicorn? Doubt it. Does she workout? Doubt it. Her physique and looks will only degrade over time, while yours will only get better.

It's time you grab your marrriage by the balls my man.

[–]Modbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wtf is "yoked"?

[–]LordThunderbolt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try google

[–]Carson1099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yoked, jacked, shredded, swole, thicc, muscular

[–]shitwiththatass 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She's lying. It is a shit test. Read the sidebar.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She want's other bitches to not want you, plus she doesn't want to have to up her fitness game. You need to tell her that you need her to ENCOURAGE you toward your fitness goals. Don't take any shit from her.

[–]2SirKolbath 6 points7 points  (2 children)

"I don't give a shit what you like. I have to live in this body and I'm going to make it the best I can."

[–]1anonlymouse 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"I don't give a shit what you like. I have to live in this body and I'm going to make it the best I can."

FTFY.

[–]Famous86[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks glo.

You got the ball rolling for me 2 years ago with your comments.

Nearly two years in and while my relationship isn’t where I want it to be everything else is falling into place.

[–]AshyLarry27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No different then if she were to lose some weight and gain male attention while you go "I don't like you socializing with other men." Deep down it has as little to do with respect as insecurity creeping up. We love out comfort zones, part of TRP is learning to free ourselves. That is part of what makes a man a man, being battle tested. You think that's hard? Imagine being a woman who is just used to the silver platter, now having to shift gears. That is your wife in this moment

[–]JFMX1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mention how that's fine, lots of other girls do.

Girl probably just wants to keep you down so she doesn't have to worry about you having other options and force her to stay on her toes and work to keep you by working out and dieting herself to be sexy.

[–]Omn1c1d3 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’ve spent many hours research this “I don’t like muscle guys” phenomenon.

While it’s true some girls don’t like what they think is “muscle guy” what they really mean is oversized body builders. Mind you that’s some women. A lot do like huge fucking dudes.

The fruit of my research determined that women don’t understand that a solid lifting program and eating better alone isn’t necessarily going to make you huge. What women don’t realize is to get body builder level that’s beyond a solid lifting program. That’s living in the gym, massive caloric intake, difficult macro nutrient requirements- it’s just not going to happen unless your training at a competitive level for most men.

Ask yourself, if she would think that if SHE lifted that she would look “manly,” then understand she doesn’t know what the fuck she is talking about. Women don’t look like that from just lifting and eating right. They don’t have hormonal profile to get like without drastic measures.

So my advice is, ignore her because she doesn’t know what she is talking about and try and pay attention to how often she has to change her panties when you take your shirt off after you’re more fit. Also, you do it for you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s living in the gym, massive caloric intake, difficult macro nutrient requirements- it’s just not going to happen unless your training at a competitive level for most men.

Let's be honest here: and taking 'roids.

I go to a very hardcore gym. It is easy to tell the naturals from the juicers.

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re wife is insecure that you’ll be attractive enough and have other women give you attention, so you’ll have options. The bitch is dumb.