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Girl texts before date "Can i bring our friend?" (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

There is a mutual friend who introduced us and i got her number from her.

Before the date this girl wants to invite our mutual friend and cites that she hasn;'t seen her in a while and some other bs for a reason.

So Instead of saying "No i want it to be just us" and giving her all the power, I did the takeaway and said "its cool you guys hang out, i have some other friends i wouldn't mind seeing who are in town, theres always next week"

aka i'm calling her bluff, the takeaway and can try again next week or see what happens, etc etc, thoughts?

she ended up replying saying "okie dokie, you better invite me to your party next week" or some shit, but ill ignore that and just try for another date in like 5 days


[–]Docbear64 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Well played and the correct answer is exactly what you did , to imply " no it is not ok to bring a third person on our date" without sounding insulted/ butt hurt.

[–]chachaChad 88 points89 points  (4 children)

I think that works just fine. Doesn't sound needy at all. You're not bothered by slight changed in schedule and are a busy guy with plenty of other options besides her.

Of course, you could have just cock blocked yourself on a threesome but that's probably not what was going to happen. Probably...

[–]HappyMexican 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah this being the early stages, and you have no interest in her outside of dating her, then OP did fine.

If she does something weird like that when he asks her out again a 2nd time, then OP should just move on. Younger girls are queens of indirect ways to decline a date.

No point in getting your panties in a knot or wasting time doing something you really don't want to do if this girl doesn't want to be 1 on 1 with you.

[–]RedKekistani 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is when the Fear Of Missing Out kicks in, the poor lad

[–]BusterVadge 3 points4 points  (1 child)

OP definitely did not cock block himself. The girl would have made an effort to get him out on that date if she were interested.

OP did the right thing and didn't go out of his way to accomodate her lukewarm interest.

[–]chachaChad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Absolutely agree that what OP did was the correct response.

My comment about the threesome was meant to be a joke. I should have put a smiley face or perhaps left out the comment. OP wasn't looking for humor. Please pardon my frivolously.

[–]BlackMisc 28 points29 points  (0 children)

pretty good solution. having a friend their will just ruin any sexual tension there is.

[–]_the_shape_ 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Very good move.

Communicates that you're not desperate and that you don't need to take a deal you don't like and that doesn't suit your tastes.

Two possible outcomes: she "gets it" and accepts to a date involving you two exclusively, or she hamsters her way out of it and bails by telling you something stupid like "oh, I thought you just weren't interested", maybe even ghosts altogether.

The important takeaway is that you played it well. Focus on that. You have standards, and won't twist and contort them because women are "sacred".

[–]nomorebsever 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I think you got your message across. If she's interested, then she will come back around. If not, then she was just letting you know that "she's not into you" - why else ask to bring your cockblock friend?

Now be sure to move on and focus on other women - abundance, abundance, abundance.

[–]beginner_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. OP did very well. Next point is, he should not get back to her at all. She cancelled the date so it's up to her to suggest an alternative day.

[–]DadOnDabs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good call.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good response imo

[–]Peter_B_Long 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pretty solid response. Can't think of anything better.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Textbook handling of a cute textbook shit-test.

Next time you can even be the charmer gruff and tease her about how she can't live without her friend, cuz they're attached at the hip and all siamese together. It sends a jolt of irreverent rule-breaker energy into it, makes the girl laugh at her own schemes and enjoy you all the more.

Savour completely ignoring her for about a week till its time to ask her out again, she'll be roasting in doubts and confusion: "I had him pegged as compliant and beta, but then what is this? What guy does this?". You'll probably have curious texts from her over the week.

[–]Colt42O 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good call, she knows what she is doing by bringing her friend. She might have been anxious about meeting up with you or whatever and wanted to bring her friend along for selfish reasons, and you handled it great. I would put money on the fact that they didn't even hang out that night, she was just using her as a scapegoat

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

should've replied: "threeway?"

[–]Luis_McLovin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Genius.

[–]alphabachelor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like others have said, you played this well. I've had this happen before and my reply has always been:

"I want to see you, not your friend. We'll reschedule for next week."

[–]Junted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had a girl that i invited over surprisingly ask to bring her friend. I hesitated to accept just like you, but said fuck it, bring her over. Ended up ignoring te one i invited and fucking her friend, that night, while my roommate took the original girl outside to smoke.

Was just confirmed by another girl that i was making out with that that chick is crushing on me.

Thing is though, i was in my house so that made things really convenient logistically. Your case not as much.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like that answer. Soft ghost.

[–]Docbear64 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're having a party I would definitely invite her over but that's a judgement call . If you feel better waiting until after to hangout feel free , her suggestion to come to your party was a way to show that she's still interested .

[–]BestSC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wasn't really interested....doesn't like something or feel comfortable about something you have presented to this point?

At this time she is still deciding or is on the downhill side of 50% attracted...I guess you could use the party to see if you could flip that meter but it looks to be sliding down the hill for some reason....

[–]Shaman6624 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I'm bad at this. How does "no I want it to be just us" gives her all the power?

[–]mcr00sterdota -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Good response. Could of answered with a "threesome?" just to troll.

[–]could-of-bot 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's either could HAVE or could'VE, but never could OF.

See Grammar Errors for more information.

[–]Olipyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or have her come along, make them pay separately, have fun with them both, and flirt with her friend just a little bit more than her. If the friend is hotter, make out with her. If the date is hotter, have her sit next to you and make her give you a kiss. Judge the situation accordingly.

Shows you're not intimidated about entertaining two women at a time. Gives you social proof with her friend and you'll definitely be talked about. It will be good talk unless you're an autistic faggot who talks about hentai and your WoW character or whatever.

[–]mdcrubengonza -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How about just say "no?"

[–]fixzzz123 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I was in the exact same situation a while ago: http://imgur.com/7IzQCN4

Obviously it is very situation dependent, but I already was taking the piss with her that she always hangs out with her friend Jaimee.

Personally, I think your reaction is a bit butt hurt, but that might be just me. You made it sound as you were not seeing your friends because you wanted to see her. Friends over hoes always.

edit: just to clarify, date finished with a lay ;)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand. I like your approach, might try that one next time to show her how silly she is being. I've never received so much praise from a red pill post about how I did so I don't think I was butt-hurt!

Also just for some insight, this girl is a virgin and her friend said she's never even been with a guy before so I think that's why she's scared