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Shit test trivial (self.asktrp)

submitted by whysointp

Someone recently made a post asking you guys to respond to some common shit test. Here are some I’ve gotten along with some made up ones and want to get a good chuckle so give me your best replies:

Statement 1 : “You seem like a fuck boy”

Statement 2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex”

Statement 3 : “You probably have a small dick”

Statement 4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”

Statement 5 : “I just met you” (Excuse for not allowing certain escalation)

Statement 6 : “You probably use that line on every girl”

Statement 7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”

Statement 8 : “Your friend is really hot”

Statement 9 : “You aren’t that cute”

Statement 10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” ex. “White guys”

Statement 11 : “All men suck”

Statement 12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money”

Statement 13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”

Statement 14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)”

Statement 15 : “You’re annoying/rude”


[–]900_year_old_vampire 149 points150 points  (8 children)

1: ok

2: ok

3: ok

4: ok

5: ok

6: ok

7: ok

8: ok

9: ok

10: ok

11: ok

12: ok

13: ok

14: ok

15: ok

[–]Saberinbed 18 points19 points  (1 child)

LOL i was literally about to post this.

Foreal this is how i deal with most shit tests. Sometimes i add in a shrug with the “ok”.

[–]latinasonly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

#works , but you got to add the stare with the smirk

some wit and humor is more fun

[–]BuckNekkid18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is me nowadays lmao.

[–]1MrTheFalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm exhausted just reading them

[–]paralyzed-horse 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Honestly curious. Why would this not be considered submitting to their frame?

[–]900_year_old_vampire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

say less, you'll see

[–]Saberinbed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because by saying ''ok'' you show just how little fucks you give.

Imagine a 8 year old child calling you name and making fun of you, would you even acknowledge it? No. You just say ok, and move on because you can't even be bothered to stoop low to their level.

[–]ArcWarden_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beggars cant be choosers bitch this aint chipotle

[–]porkchopsandgravy 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Statement 2 would actually be a funny response for Statement 1.

[–]DekexelDragon55 52 points53 points  (9 children)

1 : “You seem like a fuck boy” - 'Only on Tuesdays'

2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex” - 'Same, but that didn't stop my Priest'

3 : “You probably have a small dick” - 'But you've thought of it?'

4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything” - 'Same, maybe I should go home and go to bed. It's getting late.'

5 : “I just met you” - 'And what's your impression?'

6 : “You probably use that line on every girl” - 'No it works on guys too!'

7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend” - 'My what?'

8 : “Your friend is really hot” - 'Yeah I know right?'

9 : “You aren’t that cute” - 'Yeah but here we are'

10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” - 'That's interesting because I'm usually only attracted to [race or appearance that isn’t yours], how funny is that?'

11 : “All men suck” - 'Like a vaccuum? Because if so I agree'

12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money” - 'Same, if you know one that's interested let me know'

13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings” - 'Why?'

14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)” - 'Yet ask me to choke you in bed? Noted'

15 : “You’re annoying/rude” - 'Only on Tuesdays'

[–]That_Deaf_Guy 62 points63 points  (1 child)

Some are good, some sound butthurt

[–]DekexelDragon55 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah basically. There's just some I struggled to think of a good response to.

[–]danp64 5 points6 points  (0 children)

9) “you aren’t that rude” as a response

[–]yungvibegod2 4 points5 points  (3 children)

The best way to respons to the small dick one is “there’s only one way to find out”

[–]DekexelDragon55 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I like that but girls here are really liberal, don't want to catch a charge

[–]yungvibegod2 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You can gage how playful a girl is, and if shes bringing up your dick shes already sexually harassing you in the first place.

[–]DekexelDragon55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a big fan of this mentality, thanks

[–]SuperCrazy07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hahaha, love #2

[–]mcs007 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

  1. I've actually been looking for a sugar daddy as well. Not a sugar momma cuz you know women only make 70 cents for every dollar a man makes.

[–]11-Eleven-11 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Statement 2: Call me when you get married.

Then I'm out.

[–]Mobrowncheeks 14 points15 points  (1 child)

1 : “You seem like a fuck boy” - only on Tuesdays ( I know another commenter said this but I actually always have as well)

2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex” ok escalate and do it anyway

3 : “You probably have a small dick” ( I'm black so everyone assumes I'm hung)

4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything” - *just leave

5 : “I just met you” - and this is crazy...

6 : “You probably use that line on every girl” - you are correct

7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend” - only girls who do that can be my girlfriend

8 : “Your friend is really hot” - I dont hang out with ugly'

9 : “You aren’t that cute” - babies and puppies are cute

10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” - say nothing and chuckle

11 : “All men suck” - oh so you have experience? ( Pressure flip)

12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money” - I have honestly been looking for a sugar momma myself

13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings” - laugh at her

14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)” - what does that mean? ( They usually don't know and just laugh after realizing how they sound)

15 : “You’re annoying/rude” - fight me then

[–]399oly 11 points12 points  (0 children)

15 is under rated lol

[–]Qazreddit99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1: That's what they all say.

2: So when are you gonna propose?

3: Yeah, I wish it was big like your ass/nose.

4: So stop talking.

5: And I gave you my name so we're practically married.

6: No, not on the exciting ones.

7: That's a good reason not to make you my wife.

8: I saw him first.

9: Must be like looking in a mirror for you then, huh?

10: Too bad. I was gonna buy a ring after this.

11: Yeah but girls have cooties.

12: I need a woman who makes a lot of sandwhiches.

13: I could feel myself touching you.

14: I love going against the crowd.

15: wink lopsided open-mouthed grin finger-guns

[–]humzy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"stop flirting with me" to every statement

[–]MakoShark93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is funny

[–]Operator_Axiom 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Most of these 'answers' here aren't going to do much of anything for your cause. At best they may keep the conversation going but if she has any skill what so ever then all they will do is get you an eye roll and a dismissal.

The best here fail shit tests. They fail them less than the worst here because they've practiced. They've gone out, approached and either succeed or they failed and learned from it. And that's the only way to learn to pass shit tests.

One thing to think about when giving your response is the context of the shit test more so than what she said. How did she say it? Was she laughing or smiling? Did she seem interested in what you may respond? Was she a complete bitch? Was she a playful bitch? Did she just outright dismiss you? All of these should dictate to what you say AND how you say it.

[–]whysointp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea context is huge. This was mostly for a good laugh and to see how the people of the sub react to shit test. I wouldn’t use any that I’ve seen here because they don’t fit how I speak with women.

[–]Governor_Humphries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“You seem like a fuck boy”

Thanks

“I’m waiting till marriage for sex”

(Chuckle.) OK.

You probably have a small dick

Extremely small.

“I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”

Let's just hang out and watch something then.

“I just met you”

And it's going well so far.

“You probably use that line on every girl”

Yeah.

“I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”

You'll only be my girlfriend if you do that.

"Your friend is really hot"

I know. I keep trying to get him to go out with me.

“You aren’t that cute”

(Smile.) Yeah I am.

I only like [other race]

Bye.

“All men suck”

Yeah, but some are better at it than others.

“I need a guy who makes a lot of money”

What's a lot? I found a nickel on the sidewalk earlier.

“I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”

And I want a deep girl. Like, six or seven inches, minimum. Otherwise it's just physically uncomfortable for both parties.

“You should respect me"

Yeah

“You’re annoying/rude”

(Smile. Shrug.) Guilty.

[–]LORDFLVCKOJODYE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi guys, is statement 8 "your friend is really hot" a shit test?

genuinely want to know, a girl said that to me the other day

[–]PresidentTingles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Note: Assuming the mood is light and friendly, see my responses. But some of these shit tests, could be comfort tests to which my smart-ass-entitled responses won't work.
Statement 1 : “You seem like a fuck boy”
Hey, keep it down! I don't want my gran to find out.

Statement 2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex”
That's why blowjobs were invented... doesn't count as sex.

Statement 3 : “You probably have a small dick”
*Just smile and wink; say nothing.

Statement 4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”
Ok, but if we go home/to bed now, you should know that I don't have sex on the first date.

Statement 5 : “I just met you” (Excuse for not allowing certain escalation)
... and this is crazy! But here's my number, so call me maybe! *then continue

Statement 6 : “You probably use that line on every girl”
Only the ones I think are stupid. *Then smile and wink

Statement 7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”
How much is that? I don't think I have some much money on me right now.

Statement 8 : “Your friend is really hot”
- If boy: He is right?! I bought him on the dark web.

- If girl: Wait, are you suggesting we have a threesome?

Statement 9 : “You aren’t that cute”
I know, this is the price I have to pay for having all my good genes accumulate in my dick.

Statement 10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” ex. “White guys”
And I only like funny girls.

Statement 11 : “All men suck”
Wrong! All men LICK. Woman are the ones who suck. I can prove that.

Statement 12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money”
And I need a girl who cooks and cleans.

Statement 13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”
I can't help you with the feelings part, only the going deep part.

Statement 14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)”
Why? *Then look at her seriously and act confused.

Statement 15 : “You’re annoying/rude”
Fine, just don't beat me up. I know the bouncers around here.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 4 points5 points  (6 children)

  1. Please. Fuck man.

  2. What's a virgin doing here? (continue escalation throughout interaction.)

  3. 2 inches of hardened steel.

  4. Better get going then.

  5. I'm just going with it.

  6. If it ain't broke...

  7. Fine, update your facebook status.

  8. I haven't kicked him out of bed yet.

  9. But I am that handsome.

  10. hahahahaha

  11. ....titties.

  12. Are loan sharks after you?

  13. (rub her arm) See? I'm feeling.

  14. Why?

  15. Rude- It's part of my charm. Annoying - You came here for the solitude?

[–]ToiletPaperPringles 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Work on it mate.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Show me what you got big boy

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I would have fixed the 7th. You just gave her validation by you wanting her to be your girlfriend. Be the prize. “You are cute, but you could never be my girlfriend, you are just not my kind of girl.”

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's steeped in my own experience. Any response you get from anyone here is going to have a part of their own personality in it.

I learned long ago that GF is just an honorary title. If I got her to do what I wanted right then and there I can tell her I was joking later and if I just met her that night it comes off as joking anyway. I don't think any girl would take that seriously if I just met them.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If I got her to do what I wanted

She will do what you want only if she knows your value is higher; If she does things for you there’s a really high chance she would like to be your girlfriend too. The point is I don’t think that this shit test implies what I just said but rather the opposite. The girl is trying to disqualify you as a sexual partner and it would be good to reply with a sort of pressure flip thus changing who’s the prize of the interaction.

If it was like you said, it would not be a shit test at all, but more like “I want to be your boyfriend” from her in an indirect way.

That phrase “I would do it only if I was your girlfriend” could be both a shit test or an indirect ioi. I don’t really know. Depends on the context, really.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do lack context for these shit tests. Context and environment have a huge impact on how to respond. I wouldn't say some of the things I wrote in certain situations. I don't know what the situation is so I set the goal as getting laid that night.

[–]Boddicker06 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I imagine that would be a problem for a huge cunt like you.

[–]Jailhouseredpilled93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You probably have a small dick

You should see my bank account.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1: 'Takes one to know'

2: 'Cool'

3: 'Having a micropenis isn't fun :/' (said over the top and sarcastically)

4:'Then go tuck yourself into bed'

5; 'and 1+1 is 2'

6: 'only the 83rd one of every day'

7: 'what's a girlfriend???'

8: 'yeah we fuck each other up the ass on the reg'

9: 'my mom said the same thing'

10: 'gasp it's 2018! Race is a construct!!! 😮'

11: 'yeah I like elephants too'

12: 'Im unemployed and live with my parents'(if she recognizes this Seinfeld reference +2 to her, but she won't 😌)

13: 'Im not your therapist boyfriend lmao'

14: 'What a great throwback song!!!!'

15: ' Yeah I am'

You can say whatever the fuck you want as cliche as that sounds and girls will eat it up and latch on like a puppy as long as you show abundance and dgaf

This one night I was blitzed off my ass drunk and the lads and I were walking through downtown, a random group of girls are walking head on and I walk up and loudly ask? "BUYSIDE OR SELLSIDE???" And one of the girls shouts back "UHMM SOUTH SIDE!!!" to which I go "that's not what I said lmao next" and started walking away when the girls surrounded me and went "no wtf I want to know what you said!!! Tell meeeee!!!!" "Nah" and walked away

Once you internalize not caring about passing a shit test == internalizing abundance, you realise canned answers are garbage and the way to go is by going with the flow and seeing what your mind can come up with in the present. Then it becomes about playing the game properly instead of winning == enjoying the process == internalization of "Life is about the journey not the destination"

☸☸☸☸

[–]ImmortalAl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm waiting until sex to get married

[–]ArabSigma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to randomly switch from verbose to one line replies.

You seem like a fuck boy

There was a time where I was a fuck boy. I have now ascended into the status of a fuck man

or

I also act the part

I’m waiting till marriage for sex

I'm waiting till sex for marriage

or get down on one knee and propose

You probably have a small dick

I believe the medical term is "micro penis"

or

That's what my priest told me

I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything

Starfish sex is one of my fetishes

But honestly I would just walk away.

I just met you

Back off and act offended. "Yu ? Is he Chinese ? And you're telling me this now ?"

You probably use that line on every girl

I go door to door like a Jenovah's witness

I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend

That's what I told my priest yesterday

Your friend is really hot

"He thinks your friend is hot too" if she's with friends

Or proceed to describe him in an erotic fashion. "what's so hot about his strong veiny forearms and his thick muscular build. How can you possibly be attracted to ..."

You aren’t that cute

So you admit I'm at least somewhat cute

Or turn your face to one side and say "how about from this angle"

I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]

It just so happens that I identify as [race or appearance that isn’t yours]

Eg "It just so happens that I identify as a young african american man from Detroit" when you're a pasty white guy

All men suck

Some of em even swallow

I need a guy who makes a lot of money

So do I

I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings

Proceed to recite poetry or say something superficially deep like "how can man touch something which resides beyond the physical realm" or "Yeah but how can we be real when our eyes aren't real"

You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)

Yes m'lady, you are absolutely correct m'lady

You’re annoying

That's what my therapist keeps telling me

You’re rude

"Yes I am indeed known for having a bit of a potty mouth" delivered with a posh british accent

Sorry about the priest jokes. They seem to be popular in this sub from what I see.

[–]Yeralt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Statement 11 : “All men suck”: Yeah but all girls swallow

[–]latinasonly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Statement 1 : “You seem like a fuck boy”

low-key , real talk here : " us fuck boys fuck around a lot cause the ladies like us. all the other guys want to do what we do but they ain't cool enough"

when you here this, your spitting good game . translation: you seem like an alpha male

​Statement 2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex”

" guess i can fuck one of your hot friends instead"

​Statement 3 : “You probably have a small dick”

"well you'll find out later on"

"dammmn you been with hella guys to be able to pick up there dick size like that"

Statement 4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”

" we all know once I show up your gonna get that surge of youthful energy"

Statement 5 : “I just met you” (Excuse for not allowing certain escalation)

"thats true ! lets get to to know each other better by (insert escalation)"

Statement 6 : “You probably use that line on every girl”

"its a new one , i think its working with you"

"hey its a good fucking line, or I wouldn't be using it"

​Statement 7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”

"guess your signing up for one of my four girlfriend slots Tuesday or Sunday ?"

​"aint that cute , catching feeling already "

​Statement 8 : “Your friend is really hot”

" I like to keep good company"

" recommend him to your friends, help a homie out"

"its a shame he went gay"

​Statement 9 : “You aren’t that cute”

"guess its true what they say about women, looks aren't as important to them, it must be my dick your falling for"

​Statement 10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” ex. “White guys”

"but you love mexicans"

Statement 11 : “All men suck”

" guess your a lesbian or something, if you are i guess we can get that hot threesome going"

​Statement 12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money”

" heres the plan - you can find some f*ggot to buy you the nice dinner, and Ill just roll through and fuck you afterwards"

" I have an iPhone, im loaded AF baby"

"we can rob banks together, hows that sound for a hot date eh"

​Statement 13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”

" Ill get it in so deep you gonna catch feelings girl"

" if your nice to me you *might* bring that side of me out

​Statement 14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)”

" you have nice eyes, you know that"

​Statement 15 : “You’re annoying/rude”

"aww so your little miss manners, aint that cute"

"thats funny , i feel like you get that a lot"

"im such a nice guy , what you mean"

[–]opper-hombre1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men suck

YEAH, TITTIES

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

[–]send_it_for_the_boys 2 points3 points  (3 children)

A lot of these sound really insecure.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]send_it_for_the_boys 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Yeah that makes sense, I think answers like the “I’ve literally never said that in my life” in some cases could leave you in a more vulnerable position, but I guess it really depends how quick you are at redemption.

    [–]ThePrequelMemesBot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You're going down a path I can't follow!

    [–]oytrp -5 points-4 points  (11 children)

    If you need a "script" to pass shit tests, then you're not going to successfully game women.

    Just remember to agree and amplify.

    [–]whysointp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Chill this isn’t for me. I wouldn’t use anyone else’s because it wouldn’t even sound like something I’d say.

    [–][deleted]  (8 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]oytrp -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

      So is coddling newbs who won't read the side bar/use the search function.

      This will be posted twice a day.

      [–][deleted]  (6 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]oytrp -1 points0 points  (5 children)

        This isn't discourse. This is a "cheat sheet".

        The whole point of TRP is real self improvement. Not becoming an actor reading someone else's lines. When you run out of index cards, you're going to fall flat on your face.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]oytrp -1 points0 points  (3 children)

          You don't have the slightest idea of what discourse means.

          Passing the test isn't the goal of TRP. Being a high value man is.

          With this, you're just a facade of a man. But if that's the route you want, fine by me.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]oytrp -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            Love that you looked it up. Thanks.

            [–]Turbosuperfastlaser1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The reason some of us are here is because we get "jammed" up a bit in these situations where quick whit is the key. I can admit that I do have pretty good delivery and my timing is mostly on point. With this said, it couldn't hurt to open my mind and expand on some of the responses I have. I'm actually pretty impressed at some of the answers.