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NoFap is becoming a problem. (self.asktrp)

submitted by moltenw

A month ago, I created 4 lists - NoFap, Lifting, Meditation and Detox. ( From this post - Here )

I'm at day 29 at everything and at like 40 in Detox without skipping a day, which is great.

Here's the problem, however - NoFap is really starting to fuck with my focus and consistency. See, unforunately, In these 30 days, I haven't been able to get my dick wet. The NoFap did help me want to daygame, and I've been daygaming every 3rd day now for the last week and a half, but I wasn't quite able to set up a date even with some numbers.

I feel like NoFap IS benefitting me in some ways (although I would daygame without NoFap anyway), but at the same time, whenever I get hard for multiple periods of time a day, it's incredibly difficult to concentrate on anything, and I'm starting to wonder if ending this perfect streak could be worth it or if it's just my hamster spinning.

Thoughts on what I should do?


[–]koedeloe 67 points68 points  (6 children)

NoFap has it's benefits. I quit it though... being horny all day long and having sex with 5-6/10's because of it made me realize I had to fap. I fap once a week now, without porn and I feel better than I was on my 60 day streak.

[–]RP_Jordan 60 points61 points  (5 children)

I second this. Fapping without porn seems to be the best answer.

[–]duehvdke 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thirded. When I fap I now prefer to imagine fucking new sexual prospects. That's 100% more wholesome than porn, and there's no guilt or shame or regret with it. Instead it's kind of inspiring and motivating, like "hell yeah lets go get it for real!" Instead of "why the fuck did I just do that that was gross as hell"

[–]johnblend -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Why not fapping to a hot vid that seems pretty awesome

[–]professor_mcamateur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

some people find that too 'cucky'

but if you're ok with mental acrobatics, float your boat.

[–]Terdmuffin 141 points142 points  (7 children)

Its totally okay to rub one out. The problem is when masturbating and porn start to have a negative effect on your life. Everything in moderation.

[–]Hanarable 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Lmao exactly people think it’s either a 5-7 Times a day thing to becoming a nun who never dares touch the forbidden parts.

[–]thisisnotme__-- 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Exactly. NoFap is pseudoscience. For that matter, so is sex/porn addiction. The problem is the guilt, shame, or other negative emotions that people pile on to these things. If you don't believe that sex, masturbating, and porn are negative things; then they won't have negative consequences in and of themselves.

These things are just placebos.

[–]wanker7171 6 points7 points  (1 child)

NoFap is pseudoscience

I still can't believe people buy into that bullshit

edit:(I'm agreeing with you if this was unclear)

[–]thisisnotme__-- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Awesome username.

[–]ppanthero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Porn addiction is of course not pseudo science (like any other addiction for that matter). Addictions and addictive behaviour has lasting effects on ones brain. Some are more predisposed, some less. Nofap is bullshit, i agree.

[–]boredathome19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had the problem of not getting hard when I'm with a girl, but being perfectly fine when masturbating with porn at home. I went to the doctor and got some pills to help me with the erection, but the next time I was with a girl I did get hard, but I couldn't cum until I thought about a porn I watched. I then almost did cum immediately.

I do think that porn addiction is real, even tough I "only" watched one porn video, it was still daily. Sadly I haven't been with a girl since I stopped watching porn to confirm it was the porn causing the problems.

[–]ValorElite 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People like to think in extremes

[–]Yeikee 23 points24 points  (4 children)

It has been like 600 days of nofap or something for me. After you get through what I believe is called a "flatline," you don't even think about it.

[–]idkimsmart 5 points6 points  (3 children)

How long was your flatline period?

[–]Yeikee 4 points5 points  (2 children)

It affects everyone differently I believe. For me it wasn't too bad. All that happened for me, was my sex-drive was so low, you could step on it. After 3 months (Roughly that, it has been a while,) it returned to normal.

[–]professor_mcamateur -1 points0 points  (1 child)

flatline meaning?

[–]Yeikee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"to be in a state of no progress or advancement" - A dictionary website.

Basically with nofap, (typically) it feels as if everything is getting worse/harder for you. (An analogy would be hitting rock bottom... But with NoFap, not your life.)

[–]whatsfortnite 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Just be happy you get erections and have a healthy libido, I haven't had a sex drive for months.

[–]killmenow1187 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Can you explain how not having a sex drive would be bad? If I could focus on other things without feeling the need to pursue women that would be great

[–]mike21p 11 points12 points  (2 children)

dude what? You think it would be a good thing to have no desire for sex?

[–]killmenow1187 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Yes I do. It takes up a lot of time and I don't know if I'll ever be at the level where I can get as much sex as I want with minimal effort.

[–]Herculius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use it as motivation to further your career and social prowess.

Libido is great you just need to channel that energy. Lack of it makes many people lethargic and feeling weak.

[–]onlinehumzu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's probably referring to the nofap flatline. During the flatline your dopamine receptors rewire causing withdrawal symptoms, so he's probably feeling like shit too because of the flatline

[–]cheerful_dude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in that situation about 10 years ago. It really sucked. For me, saving up for a week or so then fapping one out to some good porn was always enjoyable, not to mention a great stress reliever. Losing that left me feeling empty and depressed. All I could focus on was finding a way to get that "spark" back. Eventually it came back after I got into an LTR and started getting laid again.

Incidentally, throughout that time I never lost the desire to pursue women. The physical need for sex was absent, but I was still very dependent on validation then, and that didn't disappear.

[–]moltenw[S] 16 points17 points  (11 children)

/u/LiveAFTSOV - I remember you had knowledgable / different opinion about doing NoFap etc. If you have the time to respond, what is your take on the situation?

[–]LiveAFTSOV 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Sure.

According to the maslowian hierarchy of needs, Food, Water, Excretion, and Sex are all "Basic Physiological Needs"

That means, without those things, one will go crazy or die. You cannot live without those basic needs.

There are also studies that show women who dont reach orgasm go insane.

What does this mean for us?

Orgasms are a phisological nessecisty.

You need to experience endorphic release from sexual pleasure. You will go crazy without it.

Notice, "Orgasm" is the need - sexual intimacy (making love to someone you care about) is only a 3rd tier need, when it comes to social relationships.

This means basic orgasms are more important that "sexual love and intmacy" or connecting to your partner.

Nature hard wired men to seek out women and use their vaginas as flesh lights. Eventually we find one we like and partner up with them. If we cant find anything, we can masturbate to push the sexual itch off and focus on more important things.

Thats why "fapping on it", masterbating before a decision, works.

Finally, porn is entertainment. AS long as you understand it's not real, your fine. (Besides amatuer is pretty accurate anyways.)

Stop letting people make you ashamed of your sexuality. Im gonna go play piano, fap, then bring over a girlfriend

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 14 points15 points  (2 children)

100% endorsed

[–]SmoothBeliever -1 points0 points  (1 child)

he should be

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One good comment isn't what it takes

[–]rp_newdawn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you don’t fap before piano...

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well, not all porn has a guy in it. I watch two chicks or solo.

    [–]My_Red_Soul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Great response, as usual ♂

    [–]empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So what does it mean if i can abstain from orgasm/edging for as long as i want without issue?

    [–]KenAdams87 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I’m 31, lost my virginity at 28 and have had sex only a total of 5 times over the course of the last 3 years. I’m not gonna go into too much detail (you can check out my posts about this) but my game isn’t good and I have a hard time moving past a first date, when I can get one. How often should I masturbate? Should I go more than once a week or should I save some energy and try and talk to more girls?

    [–]alvaro10101 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    ....go out .. and fuck girls! don't stop until you have done each nationality, body type and well just go out ...don't stop until you've fucked 1000times..

    [–]AnonymousADC 24 points25 points  (2 children)

    The best thing is to only fap one time a week without porn because your testosterone levels are going to reset the next time you fap

    I personally recommend to fap at night because the next day,you are going to have full energy recovered

    [–]xNightly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Opposite for me, I wake up feeling like shit after an orgasm from a night before.

    [–]Lightning14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    2nd this. It's easy to feel like you've shot out your motivation and drive when doing it in the morning. Night before often leaves me honier the next day from being more sensitive.

    [–]oristar223 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    No fap OMG. Just give up porn man. Don't torture yourself into not masturbating, instead DO things and still do whatever the hell you want. I went through it too, and it made me fuck 4-5's . Because all i saw were boobs and vaginas everywhere.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I’m on day 28 right now. I noticed when I fapped I was content with not talking to girls at all and just fapping to get the release. Now that I’ve been holding it in for a month I feel a little lonely tbh. I’ve definitely been thinking about girls more than I did while on days 1 or 2.

    However I also feel better about myself. It’s an accomplishment to stop fapping. Porn’s no good for the brain and I feel disgusted after fapping. I think with some self control and discipline you can get to day 90. I read on r/NoFap that girls can sense who the cucks are that fap every day. I’ve even noticed in real life that girls talk to me more the longer my streak is.

    [–]liberty1127 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    If you are banging chicks jerk off whenever you want. If it interferes with your goals and life...stop.

    There is no other reason to not beat off here and there. It doesnt greatly affect your test levels or other hormones.

    [–]red_matrix 5 points6 points  (9 children)

    If you can conquer yourself you can conquer the world. Learn to control yourself in ways you never thought were possible. You started the challenge, finish it. Are you having wet dreams yet?

    [–]moltenw[S] 5 points6 points  (8 children)

    Are you having wet dreams yet?

    I had one at like day 13 or something, first one in my life, actually.

    Would be nice to have one again...

    [–]red_matrix 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    They should be more often. You're body is still resetting, stick with the challenge.

    [–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Isn't it different for everybody, though?

    Like, this seems like a thing that has a lot of factors going for it.

    [–]red_matrix 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    Yeah it is but you should be getting more. Nocturnal emissions act like a blow off valve. How often do you get morning wood?

    [–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Not sure... sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, haven't exactly counted.

    [–]red_matrix 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Start keeping track. You should be waking up with hard ons more often then not. How are you measuring your progress?

    [–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I think tracking your morning wood is overdoing it.

    [–]red_matrix 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You can have an idea like: "roughly three days per week"

    [–]griz3lda -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    yeah, i'll agree to that.

    [–]barrel0monkeys 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I have to rub one out at the end of the week if I don't get some. But if I you slip in to bad habits and start watching porn and chasing the dopamine rush then you have a problem it's a fine line to walk. Don't slip down the slope.

    [–]redpharma7789 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    The problem with NoFap is that a lot of people misunderstand how true the gravity of their habits are.

    I’ve had a friend who went to Sex Addicts Anonymous where there were people who jerk off 20-30 times a day. People who do it at work, a guy even had a separate apartment from his family where he beat his meat.

    I thought I had a problem with my 2 times a day and felt like shit where I couldn’t keep on NoFap. But after hearing that, I realized I had a problem but not on a “my life is ruined” level.

    It’s OK to rub one out every few days. The problem is really with porn though.

    [–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Not 20-30 times a day, but I had a period where I would do it at work and shit. That shit can turn into a drug real fast. Just don't let it get out of control.

    [–]EdvardMunch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Ive moved on, and I cant fully explain this.

    Im not sure there is any approach beyond experience and understanding. You may not fap but you need to get laid id say. Have sex with all kinds of women of many types. Hear the queefs, see the poo they missed or you broke loose, watch the period blood stain your good sheets, this is all part of a woman and realities.

    Hell maybe watch a ton of porn. I watched so much that the reproductive parts don't much do it anymore in regards to arousal.

    And if you get in a densely populated city with women all day all over scarcity fades a lot. The question is why porn?

    Is it escape from anxiety? Whats wrong with rubbing one out every 3-4 days to your imagination? Isn't that more reasonable? You sound like you got crazy hormones goin, just embrace it.

    [–]InscrutablePUA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    NoFap is idiotic. I get it... guys who masturbate to pr0n 10x per day probably need a cold turkey detox but once you get to a week or 10 days you can feel free to rub one out every other day. The key here is NO PORN. The association created by having an orgasm + watching another dude bang a hot girl is extremely unhealthy and you may find it impossible to get it up with a real girl.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]abudun79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    rub one out but without a porn

    That IS NoFap in a nutshell. The stupid thing about NoFap is all the people who do not know what it is and bitch about it.

    [–]Musicgoon 4 points5 points  (6 children)

    I think NoFap is bullshit..

    Masturbation doesn't screw up your Tesrosterone levels. And its not bad for you. Its all about moderation.. I agree with another poster. If you're getting laid regularly, fap away..

    This is like a Fad Diet or those stupid challenges. You're getting caught up in something that's becoming a detriment..

    Knock one out every so often and don't act butthurt with yourself...Moderation...

    [–]laiyaise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's a fundamental misunderstanding most people have about the whole thing. The guy who researched it literally says that it is pornographic material and not the act itself, he just recommends not to do the act as it tends to be a trigger to consume pornographic material again. Kind of like how an alcoholic should avoid bars.

    [–]abudun79 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I think NoFap is bullshit..

    Yes, because you don't understand it and don't care to inform yourself before you bark out your shit opinion

    [–]Musicgoon 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Wrong. Its hamstering. Just another excuse for being unmotivated and bad with women.

    [–]abudun79 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    [–]Musicgoon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Nice trolling buddy...😂

    [–]abudun79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You don't know what NoFap is.

    You don't know what trolling is.

    I see a pattern here.

    [–]jwarner95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    meditation removed the problem for me. Just focusing on my breath. I'm on day 40 or something and I rarely even think about it anymore, I just feel a lot more centered and calm.

    [–]priapula 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You felt the benefits, now reevaluate yourself. No porn is a must tho

    [–]Wrath_of_Trump 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Fap makes me lazy, I can feel my creative energy die (as someone who creates art).

    [–]joner888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Rub one out , but not to porn

    [–]johncillo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I left NoFap when I came in like 5 seconds after starting penetration. No more, porn is the problem with dopamine, not masturbating.

    [–]Elfclan30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    If it is not too late look into SemenRetention.

    [–]xvegax16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Dude keep a rubber band on your wrist. Anytime you get hard, snap the rrubber band on your wrist. Helps it go away & brings your focus back.

    [–]cougaraddict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I relapsed after hitting what other call a flatline. Libido got back to where it was and I think lifting combined with a proper diet will take it even higher. Just don't overdo it. Telling from my own experience once a week or maybe 5 days won't harm you. It's all good as long as you can control it.

    [–]GolfinEagle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What is all this stigma around fapping? I have been watching porn and jerking off for 14 years (I am 27), sometimes multiple times a day, and I have absolutely no issues fucking a woman. In the past I have been in a marriage and relationships where my woman had an IUD or was on the pill or the arm injection thing and I didn’t wear a condom, just went in raw and nutted inside of her or on her face and I still could last 30+ minutes of hard fucking.

    In fact, I can pretty much nut on command, and I attribute this to years of fapping to the most depraved porn on the internet and learning to control myself.

    [–]Morphs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Imagine how good the sex will be after such a streak. LIFT more so you can rid yourself of excessive energy and try to get some plates going.

    [–]TheFlyingPro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Look, to my knowledge we still do not have thorogh research behind the exact effects of NoFap. So I'd suggest to practice NoFap wisely. Follow it as long as it empowers your confidence/masculinity. But do not use it just as a pure personal challenge for its own sake...

    [–]Kommanderdude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No fap is bull shit. Rub one out and continue to game.

    [–]mrHappyPotatoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You should celebrate your success with your male Champagne of Victory.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah, it's something already. We are basically in the same situation, except I don't use tinder.

    Godspeed.

    [–]PrizeIndependent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hi I hope I'm not the only one that this happens to.I'm 24 and I have been fapping for many years. But 2 years ago I discovered something. I discovered that everytime I fap my personality changes like some kind of roulette. So the majority of the time my personality is very weak, reserved and timid. And if I do no fap sticking to a certain fap no. say 33, I stay with that personality for the time being. And when I'm lucky I reach a point after at least 50 faps that my personality changes to confident and focused. So what I want is to start nofap at my best personailty. But it is like finding a needle in a haystack and it drives me insane and makes me feel helpless. The maximum I have gone at my best personality is 1 month until I relapse by mistake. I am still searching for that personality to be honest. because I have gone a whole year of no fap on a wrong personality and it messed up my mind. One more thing I have noticed is that my semen texture is sticky when I'm in a very hesitant and in a bad fap personality. but when my semen has a liquid flow my personality starts to improve and I'm confident and close to the right personality. I hope I'm not the only one with this problem. Does anyone have a solution to this so that having sex doesn't change my personality to a bad one. Is this related to low testosterone levels?

    tl;dr everytime I fap my personality changes. sticky semen = bad, fluid semen = good. I need to fap at least 50 times until I reach the right personality like a roulette and hold that with no fap. Is there a solution to fix this so I don't suffer with this when I have sex.

    [–]riggedved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Biologically, you need to get your load off once in a while. This is nature’s trick to get you to reproduce. It’s natural, take the edge off it.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    nofap is cope dude. its also all just in your head. just be normal bro

    [–]Karastilov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Stfu u incel retard

    [–]MojoManUltra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Trying to get that 90 days.

    [–]FrankVillain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Its unhealthy not to get the puree out every couple of day.