My ex-wife has gone off the deep end as a result of my transformation. Has this broken her monkey-branching calculations? Are there any resources for this? I can't seem to find any other examples of this question being asked. (self.asktrp)

submitted by I_Tow_My_Own_Line

I was an overweight, head shaved bald, completely betafied husband that dressed like Ned Flanders before my divorce. She had an affair with a guy that was more masculine but severely overweight.

A few years after taking the red pill, lifting for the past 3 years, growing my hair and beard out, dressing in a more attractive masculine manner...and I am 195lbs with quite a bit more muscle than I had when she left.

As I progressed through this, she increasingly became bitter and vengeful. She has seen me with women half my age, meanwhile she has put on 50lbs. She is using every passive aggressive tactic to push my buttons (doesn't work) and to manipulate our kids (works on one but not the other).

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do? Are there posts that deal with this that I couldn't find?

[–]justtenofusinhere 99 points100 points  (1 child)

100% it's because you flipped the script on her.

Remember, she won't do anything she can't hamster first. That includes leaving you. In her mind, you were no good and were absolutely holder her back while she was holding you up.

The proof that when seperated you took off and got things together while she floundered blasts her hamster. She was the dead weight hitching a ride on your back.

[–]ticklethegooch1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Your words sound like a symphony

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

This is very typical behavior among people with crabs in a bucket mentality.

Often times, when you start to change yourself for the better, insecure people who have known you for a while will start to try and put you down. They don't like the idea that you are different from what they are used to and want bring you to their level. This includes exes. There is an added on effect with her because she was probably hoping you would come back crying to her and begging for her back like a little bitch.

Ignore it and keep doing what you're doing.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep, and before you start to change yourself they always like to remind you of the thing you need to change.

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 48 points49 points  (2 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]salinorum 43 points44 points  (1 child)

The paradox is this - OP, would you have made these changes if it wasn't for the split?

Perfect example of why you should put your needs & interests first, even if you're in a relationship

[–]ticklethegooch1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard to do when your Beta clinges on your food once in a while... but I read here once, that this will always happen once in a while: Beta comes back and fucks up your relationships, you will get over that episode and proceed your TRP journey. Don't sweat over small setbacks.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Enjoy your life, and let her be miserable.

Sorry about the one kid that goes along with being gaslighted.

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You even making this post is a step in the wrong direction psychologically. Treat her as you would a masterbating homeless man in an NYC subway.

The more you pay attention the more he wins.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat 31 points32 points  (0 children)

This is beautiful. She thought you were the one holding her back so she cheated and justified it, but then once free of her you got your manhood back and bettered yourself proving she was the dead weight in the relationship. Ugly truths suck and she can’t escape this one.

Now don’t be a faggot and forget to keep putting yourself first. Keep it up. Proud of you.

[–]HB3234 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I don't know your relationship history or relative SMVs while dating, but I can almost guarantee I know what she's thinking regardless of its basis in truth.

In her mind, she gave her best and most beautiful years to a man that rewarded her by dressing badly and getting fat. She loves her kids but they changed her body in permanent ways. Now, after all her years of bearing with the loser he became, he gets his shit together AFTER the split. She is hurt and upset and feels robbed that she never got this best version of you, despite that you got the best she was ever going to be.

Not your problem any more, though.

[–]friendandadvisor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

despite that you got the best she was ever going to be.

A fucking adulterous whore?

[–]_the_shape_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You are witnessing a scorned woman, and you know what they say about 'em..

Girls can be vicious like this, especially when what they consider to be their 'turf' gets threatened. After parting ways with an ex of mine, she'd shamelessly tear down potential prospects to my face ("are you fucking serious? You're hooking up with that nasty-ass slut? So you don't care about STDs now? What the fuck is wrong with you???") The one after that, she

Your ex-wife right now is like the guy pinned to the floor, getting pummeled left and right, but desperately trying to catch a fist in hopes of biting it, trying to get something, anything, hopelessly trying to fight back through a royal beatdown.

Your best defense is to keep your cool at all times. Think of losing your cool like putting your hands down, exposing your face to a wild haymaker headed straight for your jaw. Deal with her in a 'business-only' (meaning, your kids of course) sense. Be polite, but brief. This is someone you have to work side-by-side with, unfortunately, but all that really matters is that you get the job done (continuing to raise the family in as stable a household as possible).

Document as much as you can, as detailed as possible, out of her view (because you simply never know...).

All the best.

[–]InscrutablePUA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Might want to check married red pill for more answers

[–]AwkwardEmpath 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Really shitty thing to manipulate your kids just because of your petty feelings. Glad you left that woman and I hope your other kid sees through her emotional bullshit soon.

[–]zboo1h 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Live your new and improved life. Raise your children and mentor them. Build your career and your power. Keep lifting and sculpting your body.

Roasties gonna roast. You just stay in your lane and let her continue to age while you put that shit on hold.

[–]chaseexcellence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats buddy. This is one of the better post i have seen. The best revenge is to improve your looks, money, and status. Keep up the good work. The chances that your ex wife will keep gaining weight are great. Just keep your bodyfat low and in increase muscles. I am proud of you. You increased your SMV while your wifes SMV has dropped.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 1 point2 points  (4 children)

If she left why is she still in your life?

[–]I_Tow_My_Own_Line[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

We have two kids, joint custody...so we have to see each other once a week for dropoff.

[–]omega_dawg93 10 points11 points  (2 children)

make it 10000% just about the kids, dude. she may want to make it more than that by saying false things... because the better you do, the more she will hate on you.

just keep making positive gains physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. take care of your kids... but with her, just "let the clock run out... take a knee... silence... all business, nothing personal."

[–]Scuzzin 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Basically, be undeniably good so your kids cannot possibly believe the lies. As they get older and see that mommy is fat and bitter and daddy is fit and kind and never tells his kids how bad mommy is, they will know what was really up. Sorry that it's hard in the mean time, but just focus on being the best person and especially the best dad you can possibly be.

[–]omega_dawg93 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that is the only way. you give her any ammo, and she will use the courts to fuck you raw.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

You can't find resources for this? It's all over the sidebar and married redpill is a whole subreddit where exactly this kind of shit is described all the time.

But in short you have to think of this from the standpoint of female solipsism. From her perspective, probably beneath any conscious thought so there is no reasoning with it, you "tricked" her into getting off the gravy train just before it rolled into the station to candyland. This is one of the biggest issues with divorces with kids, because you can't just cut sling load and never talk. You have to see the aftermath, and to the female mind you were supposed to be destroyed. Every positive move is a middle finger straight to her face.

My only advice is to ignore it as best you can and allow no behavior that violates your standards toward stuff that still matters, like your kids. Because any attempt to communicate is an appeal to reality, you can't communicate without some mutual understanding of what is, and she is fucking crazy. All you can do is selectively apply reality where possible totally disconnected from what her reasons might be. Example, "I don't care why you think you can but I hear about you subverting my kid's opinion of me again and the next day I'll have them all in therapy so it's documented by a 3rd party and you'll be talking to a lawyer."

The idea is you don't give a fuck or meddle in ANYTHING to do with her, but some very basic rules are as immutable as gravity, like your kids. Everything else about her is now irrelevant.