Mothers will do all they can took keep you beta (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

Had a heated conversation with my mom about women and wanted her honest feedback. She told me to focus on work; then find a woman, take her out to a nice restaurant, perform nice table manners, buy her flowers, and eventually marry her if you like her.

After knowing my experience with most women I nearly puked. I told her what I know that nowadays most women party away their college years (of course mom never went to college or lived in dorms), and then find a wealthy man to support them.

She looked at me in a very stern, and downgrading way, and asked me "how do you know this?" as if she spent her entire life preventing me from knowing about the truth. Tried to stay calm with her and quickly changed the subject, but can't get over the thought that I've been lied to my entire life, and knowing that her goal was to make me a beta provider for some slut that had the time of her life in her 20s.

Actually i'm fucking engraged. Downgrade your own son to a beta bitch and hide the truth for him. Why the fuck would she do this? I thought this was my mom.

[–]redd_reality 62 points63 points  (34 children)

You didn't think your mom was a unicorn, did you?

Female family members are often the most Machiavelli. They've known you for so long, their influence knows no end.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (33 children)

It's fucking sick that's what it is

[–]redd_reality 20 points21 points  (15 children)

Until you hit this point and realize you've been the only one wearing gloves. Take em off and use the same manipulation against them.

[–]MusicSports 2 points3 points  (14 children)

How the fuck do I do this? I really really want to help my mom with some things that would greatly improve her life but no matter how I try I feel like me being her son ruins any attempt at me trying to get through to her with knowledge.

[–]know_your_path 10 points11 points  (11 children)

You want to control her not help her. Accept her and love her and you'll help her. Love means understand and accept, not use and expect

[–]MusicSports 1 point2 points  (10 children)

No she literally needs to see a psychologist. She has illusions that people are constantly watching and monitoring her and its becoming detrimental to her life to the point where she will go into rants about it. She has no evidence and refuses to listen to what anybody has to say no matter how you propose any opposition or even plain curiosity towards it. I don't want to control her I just want her to get mental help before it's too late and this consumes her life. Unless I should just understand and accept tha

[–]know_your_path 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Oh, yeah if her beliefs are leading to an inability to function at a healthy level in society, professional psychological or psychiatric help is the way to go

[–]MusicSports 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Exactly and I'm trying to prevent that in my own mother. People here saying just do nothing have no idea what we're going through and I want to prevent that.

[–]know_your_path 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yeah, there's a lot of people here I think that only read and haven't practiced much so look at things in a more "academic" (lol) way. She might have a neurochemical imbalance leading to her behavioral issues. Not everything stems from sexual competition. Go see a psychiatrist with her if possible.

[–]MusicSports 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My issue is getting her to realize she needs to see a psychiatrist. I'll keep trying.

[–]jay_jay_man 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Sounds like mom is suffering from paranoia. In my case, my mom came down with full blow schizophrenia and has never accepted her illness to this day.

[–]MusicSports 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah exactly and I'm trying to prevent that. I don't know why people are saying do nothing

[–]jay_jay_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first step is getting her to recognize she has a problem. Unless she accepts her illness, you really can't do much for her other than having her institutionalized.

[–]jm51 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

If rants are the worse she does, let her rant.

[–]MusicSports 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She goes as far as accusing me and other people. She almost crashed her car because she swore she saw someone monitoring her at an intersection. I don't give a fuck if she's right or wrong. This could escalate to the point of killing her. I give a fuck about her health and wellness and my relationship with her. Dont tell me how to care for my mother

[–]diller1994 4 points5 points  (0 children)

48 laws of power by Robert Greene

[–]jm51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no matter how I try I feel like me being her son ruins any attempt at me trying to get through to her with knowledge

You could start by accepting that your mother has the right to be wrong.

[–]know_your_path 4 points5 points  (15 children)

You're the sick one, lost in a dream. Accept people for who they are and love them.

[–]Irishminer93 1 point2 points  (14 children)

Quantify that. Why should one person accept another and why should they love them? Any answer you come up with will prove the ignorance of your post.

[–]know_your_path 0 points1 point  (13 children)

Define love

[–]Irishminer93 0 points1 point  (12 children)

That's my point.

[–]know_your_path 0 points1 point  (11 children)

It's also mine, it's acceptance and understanding A why is a rejection founded in fear

[–]Irishminer93 0 points1 point  (10 children)

I can accept someone and understand them, while also hating them entirely. Love requires acceptance and understanding, but it doesn't work both ways.

Rejection CAN be founded in fear, but there are also other reasons.

[–]know_your_path 0 points1 point  (9 children)

You can't understand and hate

[–]Irishminer93 0 points1 point  (8 children)

Sure you can, I can understand why someone is racist and understand why they made a certain choice and hate them for it, not just in spite of it.

[–]jm51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's fucking sick that's what it is

Which is sicker, her pressing your buttons or you allowing those buttons to be pressed?

[–][deleted]  (8 children)


[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Damn long time no see my man.

This is your answer OP. Calm down and take note.

[–]majestyalphaq 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I wanted to reply something along these lines as well, but didn't know how to phrase it. Listen to this guy OP.

[–]raxical 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This. There's a lot of bashing of these women nowdays but the truth is they dont know whats going on any better than when you were blue pill.

[–]HomunculusEmeritus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You don't know this. Not saying I know otherwise, but you certainly don't know if your guess is valid or not.

In my own case I asked my mother why she'd never taught me how women really are. She huffed up and said women needed protection against men, that teaching me would have put women at a disadvantage and she didn't want that. She wanted women to have the advantage over me.

I made sure she meant this. I said "So you wanted your own son at a disadvantage to all the treachery women use?" She got really red, and turned away; which she did when she knew she was trapped.

Just like my experience is anecdotal, so is yours. OP probably has the best sense of his own mother.

[–]Irishminer93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

♂ This.

[–]11-Eleven-11 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sorry im confused. Your sister wasnt attracted to him?

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]truedemocracy3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. For christs sake dont be mad at your mom. She wasn't knowingly trying to sabotage you. She was giving you what she thinks she would want in a man (of course with the pretense that she find him attractive)

Yes the advice is terrible. I was raised by a single mother and was absolutely awful with women for this very reason. But you're mom is the only woman in this world who will ever love you unconditionally. Value that aspect, just don't go to her for dating advice lol

[–]bluepillcarl 38 points39 points  (2 children)

On the flip side what else is your mom supposed to tell you? "just work out a ton get a lot of muscles, fuck lots of bitches and never settle 💯💯".. Moms ain't raising a fuckboi

[–]cellphon 13 points14 points  (0 children)

"Sit down little Johnny. Today i want to talk with you about kino. Next week we'll cover proper ass eating techniques."

[–]hb8only 2 points3 points  (0 children)

..there must be a middle way though...

[–]UncleWarwick 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Dude fucking chill. She’s your mother.

If you’re not a dumbass, you can turn her your way. Source - my mom is beginning to see things through my eyes.

If not, then who the fuck cares and do whatever you were going to do anyway. Why are you asking your mom for advice about girls anyway?

[–]11-Eleven-11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly right. Your mother is probably the only women on the planet that will ever be 100% on your side. She used to tell me to be nice and stuff like that (when i was younger). After i explained to her some of what i have learned she now tells me to be aloof and pretend I'm not interested. Which surprised me because it was almost solid advice.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I would say don't talk about fight club but I experienced/experience the same with my single mother and in the past girl-friends. Constantly told never to change and the right girl will come around. Its brutal

[–]Herdsengineers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

heard this from my father many times. my mother was the one that told me date lots of girls, don't settle on one, play the field, etc. before settling down with one.

[–]onemantwo 7 points8 points  (6 children)

I can agree. Me and my mom's friend son couldn't be more different. We were polar opposites. We are the same age. I would always get told how she wished her son was like me. At the time, all I did was play games, never went out and didn't cause any trouble. However he was always out, caused drama a lot of the time and was successful with women.

I remember when I asked my mother for advice on this girl and I think I am pretty sure I got sabotaged. Told her about this long ass date I had with this girl and how I made out with her twice. She told me I was being WAY too forward and that I should APOLOGIZE to her and accept her being FRIENDS first. My dumb ass apologized to the girl and said we could be friends first. Even though we had went out for another date I felt she lost whatever attraction she had towards me.

However there has been times when she gave good advice such as, "if she doesn't want to be with you, she is missing out", "there are other women out there", "date more than one girl at a time" and "don't keep all your eggs in one basket".

[–]Joehogans 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I never understood why mothers almost seem to want their sons to fail in relationships. It's like they deliberately give bad advice so that you'll stay with them. If I took any advice my mom gave me on women, and put it into practice I'd be forever alone. Never take dating advice from a woman, even your mom, they don't know wut the hell they want.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because it’s in their nature to be protective of their offspring.

Women play the game on an instinctual level. We use TRP as a resource; they need no such resource to win. That knowledge of the game also comes with a subconscious knowledge of the perils it presents. Because they wish to shelter their offspring, they dispense advise that they think will mitigate any damage.

The problem however is that their knowledge of the game is based in their use of emotion as a mechanism to understand reality. Translating the emotional to the logical is not their strong suit, which is why in spite of their best intentions, their advice is often wrong.

Be thankful you have this sub as a resource

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My bet is they subconsciously want to increase the odds of grand children.

[–]jm51 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Dads want their children to thrive and they know that means some risk is involved along the way. Mothers will say that they want their children to thrive but their main desire is to have them safe. Less risk is better. The thriving bit is to be done when they are not there as they don't like like knowing about the risks.

[–]Joehogans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, risk is essential to success it seems. Courage too. Or else you'll be stuck in a dead-end job which pays you nothing, and abuses your time and freedom. This is not thriving. Women's goals, (by in large) is to play it safe, find the best, safest, most secure mate that will provide and support them with all their wants and needs. They are often risk-adverse. I think this may be one of the reasons why you often hear about the pay inequality amongst the sexes. Men and women, not only choose different forms of work, but men take more risks, more 80/100, or 70/100 certainty type risks. Circumstances where they have a lot to gain or lose, where the situations have a lot of unknowns and hidden variables. Women stay away from this, because they don't make logical decisions and their emotions can steer them in the wrong directions.

Their entire thought process is different, entirely based on emotions, and being in the moment of some particular feeling that captures them. I forget who said it, but women are like the ocean. Completely and totally un-predictable. Only men would take such a risk on something like them.

[–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dumb ass apologized to the girl and said we could be friends first

sometimes it could work -she will be so attracted to you that you don't put her on pedestal...

[–]replicaplater 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She may be your mom, but she is still is a women so AWALT still applies. Don't ask for feedback on your romantic life or anything of that sort from women, even your mom.

[–]majestyalphaq 6 points7 points  (1 child)

ALL women expect you to 'just get it.' Even your mum. At times my mum would give me generalized RP advice like "shes just a girl, she really isn't worth it" but thats it. Other times, she plains ignores me when I talk about girls to her.

[–]diller1994 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My mom actually pimped with me today on the bank teller. Am I secretly hurting her or an evil genius

[–]pnzndltn 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is a revolting realization to have, and I deal with it all the time especially since I still live at home (Doing everything I can to change that asap). Growing up, I was the beta-est beta who ever beta'd due to how my mom raised me, but after waking up, I see now every why and how I ever went wrong.

Despite that though, I feel so much more power and control just being aware. I no longer fall for my mom's guilt traps, or emotional manipulation. She'll still try to use it on me every now and then but for the most part, she realizes that I see right through her. I would like to say, 'knowing is half the battle' but it honestly feels like so much more.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I still live at home (Doing everything I can to change that asap)

Why? You could go monk mode and only use the house to sleep and eat and meal prep (saves money). You could put some serious work into yourself, your education, or your career if you take advantage of a free roof.

[–]pnzndltn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are so right. I intend to use this time to my advantage any way that I can. I sort of have been doing a pre-monk mode, so I think now is as good a time as any to fully commit.

[–]Joehogans 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, they want to keep you into their frame, their little box/window. They want to keep you as a child as long as possible to extract emotional support and anything else out of you. The less mature you are the more you can be used as an emotional tampon. If you are raised by a single mother, she will feed you lie upon lie about women. And when you go out into the world, your whole worldview will be completely wrong. Women don't want you to know what they know about women. Also they don't know what they actually want, so taking any sort of advice from your mother is a terrible mistake. Will lead you down misery lane, and looking to girls as a substitute mommy.

Mothers lie to get what they want from you, in very subtle but effective ways. Mothers will portray women as nice creatures. Women are quite certainly evil and will do anything to manipulate you to advance.

Mothers perpetuate the female lie that they are all sugar, spice, and everything nice.

[–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your mummy wants you to stay safe and warm, not become a man of danger and excitement

[–]pridebrah 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Some moms literally need to be informed of the shit guys deal with from the male perspective to get it. Remember, all they got is the female view from either their own life experience or their friends, and it's hardly a complete view.

There seems to be a theme lately with the mom posts, but my mom told me in my late teen years that she had no idea guys went through so much bullshit until I started dating and she found out via having a son. Things sort of clicked in her head and she gave me a lot of good redpill advice in my early 20s.

I don't think mothers set out to turn their son into a bitch as much as they're just trying to give good advice off their own [partial] experiences and filling in the gaps the rest of the way depending on the men they're exposed to and what they view as a respectable human being. One thing my mom told me was that she mainly remembers her friends getting cheated on by dudes in their early 20s and guys just wanting to smash and dash. She told me once that she can't believe that guys actually have so many feelings when it comes to women and can be hurt -- she viewed guys as simply not giving a fuck. This created an attitude of a bunch of butt hurt women giving white knight advice because they were hurt and having the image that all men were shallow and just wanted some ass. It's kind of the inverse of the wounded men that come through here.

[–]alamsohel1990 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So if you boil down the red pill theory it comes down to, you are supposed to hurt or get hurt.

[–]DreamscapeGamer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women put their needs before men. Most American men also put Women's needs before men. As soon as you start saying you wanna put your own needs first as well, women will tell you that you're hurting them.

See how that works, yet?

[–]mrpthrowa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every female, including your mom, wants to manipulate you into being beta so you provide for her as well. It's in their very nature.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the amount of discussion in this thread; its given me something to think about. She was trying to give me advice on women I never asked for; and I simply replied with the truth.

The part that made me angry was the "How do you know this?" in a very stern overpowering tone. As if I'm still a little boy that doesn't know what sex is. It kind of gave away her 'AWALT' nature; so maybe we were pissed at each other. She now knows her son fucks bitches and I know now that she is manipulative like any other woman.

I agree; the mother should raise a child to be a 'gentleman' with manners, but also understand that her son is now a man that probably has sex with multiple women given his age. My personality is more of an 'Omega' male; I can weave between both sides, so it would be great to have a supporting mother that supports me getting big after lifting and meeting women; but instead downgrades it and tells me women don't like muscular men or guys that don't buy women flowers and chocolates.

[–]Wardenclyffe56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I know of this. Mine's a conservative Christian with a strange double-think: she still believes in gender roles but women are independent enough to do anything they want but the ones that sleep around are sluts. Yeah... I've relinquished any attempts to make her see how she does the same thing you mention (but she married a rather alpha, played rugby, handyman around the house, got fat though), but it just ends up in both of us arguing. Would rather just keep quiet.

[–]Beast___Mode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man that's your mother and she is the only woman who will love you unconditionally. Ofc she won't respond positively to TRP society, because she is a woman but that does not mean that she tried to hide something from u lol

[–]Smigg_e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to get to into it but I realized this about my mom. She was a very dysfunctional alcoholic my whole life and when I had to move back in with her at 23 and had no job and was a complete bum she loved it! She'd get verbally abusive and I could tell she loved keeping me down.

[–]juaracam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should try to understand her point of view, and where her life experiences brought her to. My father's mother was and is a completely narcissistic and self absorbed bitch who never took care of her children, and my father's father was working abroad. Eventually my father emigrated illegally when he was 16. My mother's father went away from home to work at the age of 11, and he became successful, but he died when my mother was 10. My mother's mother had 5 children and didn't have any business experience, since my grandfather was pretty red pill. So all the business went to my mother's uncles and they ruined everything. My mother has alpha woman traits, my father puts her a bit on the pedestal, but it may also be because of testosterone age decline. I don't know about your family, but even if you don't like what they want you to do, don't argue it's useless. After a certain age it's hard to change your beliefs. When you'll be independent do whatever you want and they will understand.

[–]DiggerClam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is not her fault, that's just so they are.

[–]jargonaut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Relax. She wants grandkids asap.

[–]ImQuitingPorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit that makes sense!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never get it when people post this kind of shit about their family giving them backlash. My parents are Jehovah's Witnesses, and I left them and the religion at 16. To this day, even though I go against everything they believe they still support me and everything I'm doing and respect me the most of my siblings. One of my sister's who did the exact same thing as my is cut off from the family and no one ever talks to her. Funny how things go

[–]1kick6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beta worked in her generation. It’s just that her generation raised women to be men, and they’re somehow blind to the fact.

[–]YasserZe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next time don't preach , keep your mouth shut

[–]Taipanshimshon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re an idiot. She was trying to tell you what she thinks worked for a marriage. 20+ years ago.

[–]addwater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never take advice from women. This may surprise you but your mother is also a woman.

[–]Bored15556 -4 points-3 points  (4 children)

Of course every mom tries to keep their son beta... they need to ensure that they never get sexually attracted to you. Weird fucking thought , I know , but makes perfect sense.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a Freud in every thread. LOL

[–]g4casting 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fuck do you read on this sub. My mom always encouraged me to go out and live a man's life, slay and enjoy. She just loves bragging about having a beautiful and attractive son, that's it.

[–]Narcissist456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, what the hell?

[–]pridebrah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too far into the armchair psychologist deep end, man.