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If you live TRP lifestyle and don't get married and don't have kids, how do you deal with being alone (and possibly being physically weaker or socially ostracized by religious married family folks) in your times of old age? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Hikethetrail

Successful MGTOW red pill men who are older, please share your advice and guidance for your younger red pill brethren.

Thank you!


[–]RedPillD 121 points122 points  (2 children)

TRP is just information. You can use that information however you want and make your own life decisions.

[–]mejakejohnson 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Precisely. A lot of folks here take things too literally. Not everything on here needs to be put in practice. Go fuck up when you do, don't kick yourself for it. After all ,it's what got you to your current standing. Cheers amigos !

[–]ppanthero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. The question is still valid though.

[–]No1Buck 39 points40 points  (5 children)

What makes you think married men aren't lonely? They're frequently the most lonely of all. Do not marry in the Anglosphere.

[–]boardrider73 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yes!! The last 2 years of my marriage I felt hopelessly alone AND trapped with no way to get out. Unless I wanna lose half my shit including time w my son of course.

[–]golgynat0r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how is it going right now for you?

[–]Bruchibre -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Returning the question isn’t answering it. This is what women do to evade questions.

[–]No1Buck 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not returning the question; rejecting the entire premise of it.

[–]Bruchibre -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Pretty much the same

[–]chrishagins 96 points97 points  (3 children)

I'm a 46 year old bachelor. Not once has a family member pressured me to get married but every once in a while friends or co-workers will make a slick comment. And when they do I gently remind them of their divorces and they shut up.

And that's the funny thing. Folks who actually are in functional relationships rarely feel the need to pressure others into 'settling down'. It's always the misery-loves-company crowd who wanna push you down the aisle and up onto the alter. At least that's been my experience.

[–]andAutomator 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Totally true. If you're in a healthy relationship you see no point in commenting on the status or lack-there-of someone else's.

[–]SpinPlates 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Folks who actually are in functional relationships rarely feel the need to pressure others into 'settling down'. It's always the misery-loves-company crowd who wanna push you down the aisle and up onto the alter. At least that's been my experience.

So much this^

There has never been a successful marriage in my family but I'm 28 and they won't stop giving me a hard time about not settling down.

They once gave me shit about not bringing girls over to family functions so I brought 3 different girls to different families gatherings over the course of a few months and it upset my grandmother so they told me to stop and they left me alone about the marriage and kids thing.

[–]yesbuthereswhy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And that's the funny thing. Folks who actually are in functional relationships rarely feel the need to pressure others into 'settling down'. It's always the misery-loves-company crowd who wanna push you down the aisle and up onto the alter. At least that's been my experience.

This could not be any closer to the truth. I had this beta chump tell me that I needed to have a kid with my wife. He complained how awful it was and how he got no sleep and then said, “Yeah you should think about having kids soon.” I told him no thanks because I’m working on my degree and actually have goals. Chumps have kids early on and then complain because now they can’t do anything.

[–]Terra501 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Red pill doesn’t teach not to do those things. Rather it teaches how to maintain your frame if you do choose to do those things.

[–]2chazthundergut 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Be rich.

[–]RememberWhenEye 40 points41 points  (12 children)

Would visit my grandma in the old age home often, as she was in and out. 100% of all the seniors left for dead there had children that never came back to visit them. They got written off for dead.

The misconception that your kids are going to be by your side and never leave you in your olden years is a post-error coping mechanism parents who had unwanted kids use to make themselves justify their mistake.

When is the last time you met someone who planned to have children because they wanted to make sure they were taken care of when old?

[–]Morphs_ 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Most non western countries actually, even in South America elder people often live with family till their death.

The way we put people in elderly homes to rot, it's a terrible foresight imo.

[–]Ruueee 12 points13 points  (3 children)

This, guy you're replying to projects their white american mentality onto everybody else. The very idea of just abandoning your parents even when you have issues with them is not even on the radar for my culture. My mother is living with me as soon as she can't live on her own anymore

[–]Lostitink 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My grandmother and grandfather we taken care of by my mother and her siblings as they aged. My fathers mother was as well was taken care of by my aunt. I personally do not plan on ever putting my parents in a "home". I do not think it's an anglo thing I think it's just a shitty thing that people who lose principles do to justify their own shitty behavior. Some people lose sight of family.

[–]TheReformist94 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm gonna let my mum rot on her own for being a hypergamous whore to my father. Oh boy I'm gonna make sure there's consequences for her actions. Chickens are coming home to roost!

[–]griz3lda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm not eager to let my abusive parent live with me and fuck up my mind. OTOH I'm Iranian and putting family out to stay w strangers is not acceptable to us.

[–]HurricaneHugues 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Children are not obligated to be by your side at the end of your days. How you treat them wheb theyre growing up, is how they will treat you when youre whitherig away. Dont expect your children to magically have some sort of sense of duty towards. If you truly provide your children with love and care when they're growing up, they will move the sun and stars to be at your side in your old age.

How u treat them is how they will treat you

[–]Nov51605 7 points8 points  (0 children)

no bullshit - i used to do AC service at a large retirement condo in Clearwater, Fl. pretty much the size of a small city or bigger.
Anyway, the very common story you would hear is this :

After ma or pa becomes widowed, the kids dump the one of them off crash landing style at the condo, plead with the neighbors to look after them, then burn rubber back home

[–]WakeUpAlreadyDude 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This is the truth. Kids won’t be there for most parents in this day and age. Family is no longer important.

[–]HurricaneHugues 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, kids won't be there for shitty parents.

[–]Praecipuus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well if you look in a place where people are literally left not be a burden on their families, what would you expect?

I'm not saying many if not most of elderly people end up like that, but there are also plenty whose sons and daughters take care of, visit regularly and make sure to include in family gatherings until they kick the bucket.

[–]cluelessguitarist 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Depends, if you were a shitty parent (teaching bad values and that kind of thing)why would your children give a fuck?

[–]KingSlapFight 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Teach all the values you want, there's a whole world out there trying to undermine your message.

[–]jekporkins77 35 points36 points  (2 children)

There’s 3 categories, LTR, Plating and MGTOW. All belong to TRP but the choice is yours

[–]bigkids 23 points24 points  (1 child)

What’s important, is for you to flourish as a human, as a man. Whatever makes you happy, gives you that drive of energy in the morning. If that’s plating chicks you met at Whole foods, do it, if that’s raising a family in the woods, do it, if you want to eliminate women from your life, do it. You can trust your gut on this one, deep down you know what you want.

[–]bondbandito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amen. Was into MGTOW because on principles they are the true way to avoid 'losing', but I realised it wouldn't work for me as I do like having femininity - willing to lose some

[–]ahab_dies 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I figure you should be totally fine until you get really old, or until your body starts to weaken so much from old age that you can't really go out much any more.

I figure that's gonna be at the most the last 1/10 of my life. If I make it that far then I'll die lonely and sad, I guess. Maybe I'll commit suicide from being alone and knowing my life is over and I'm just waiting to die. Still worth it if I can live the other 9/10 happy and free and on my own terms.

[–]spiritletshereit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I'm old and fucked I'm just going to plonk myself down in front of a gaming PC. Done.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]boardrider73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. I am still working on creating a life being more comfortable by myself. Its maybe the hardest thing I have ever done. I am a recovering co dependent. I knew deep in my gut that this was so important. I have been working with a professional for one year now to tackle and kill this co dependent bitch in me. It's been very painful but I am becoming a very different person. I highly reccomend getting professional help with this if needed.

[–]CharlesChadworth 5 points6 points  (1 child)

To put it very simply, TRP is a tool to help you screen (Thots) and hopefully better yourself. Depends on what your mission is in life. Some people like being non-monogmous while some others prefer to get a LTR and eventually married.

Through TRP and its teaching you step outside the box and look into your relationships with a potential partners/plates and see if they are worthy of your time or not. Only then will you truly see that AWALT and not what Hollywood has brought you up to believe with all that fairytale bullshit.

If your mission is to not be lonely and find somone to be with, then so be it. Do what you have to do just use the teachings to screen through the red flags women will eventually show you and know when to walk away...

[–]SteveStJohn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly right. Rollo wrote about men who adopt TRP only to drop it when they get the LTR they want. Problem? The woman wants the TRP guy she married, not the beta cuck she got.

Ref: Children w/ Dynamite

[–]joner888 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There is no specific TRP lifestyle . Each man to his own. You choose how you deal with the information

[–]pairevo 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I’ll probably get married when my age becomes a hindrance in my ability to relatively easily fuck women much younger than I am.

Divorce becomes much less likely then, and I’ll probably be much more experienced.

[–]SteveStJohn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I know people who have married for the first time at 70 (and the woman in her 60's). It's not a road to happiness.

[–]pairevo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you’re looking for happiness from a marriage you’re doing something wrong. Marriage is about building a family.

[–]SpinPlates 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm more scared of living with someone I hate rather than being alone. Being alone is super peaceful...even then you can easily fill the void with a vibrant social circle.

As for growing old and physically weak, I plan on riding motorcycles till the day I die if you catch my drift.

[–]Ricklogical 9 points10 points  (2 children)

If you don't get married and you don't have children then you generally don't give a shit about being alone and that social stigmatization lol.

They go hand in hand, so unless you already are that guy, you aren't and you never will be.

That guy is probably not weak, go over and say that shit to MGTOW's face and see how strong they feel in every way.

Maybe they are full of shit but I know plenty of single unmarried dudes that are doing just fine. They get laid when they want and they can't really break away from the person they are long enough to have a stable relationship. These dudes are social rock stars on the edge of what it is to exist.

Not really a common lifestyle, but if you really want to be connected with one to chat, you have to pay me 100 dollars.

[–]Praecipuus 7 points8 points  (1 child)

if you really want to be connected with one to chat, you have to pay me 100 dollars.

I refuse to believe you'd sell my identity away for such a pitiful amount.

[–]Ricklogical 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol

[–]hrm0894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you get married, you can be sure you'll be lonely and alone.

[–]Herdsengineers 2 points3 points  (3 children)

During my first marriage, I was the loneliest I've ever been. Nothing sucks worse than lying next to a wife at night and feeling disconnected and apart from her, when she's only 1 foot away.

You mention religious married family having a bad attitude towards a person that eschews marriage - but that's very hypocritical of them on religious grounds. Paul actually writes in several of his Epistles about the virtues of staying single and not marrying. He talks about how life stays simpler and easier, if you can control your physical urges and desires. He goes on to say if you "burn with passion" (ie - if you're a horny fucker), get married because sex leads to kids, and kids are best brought up in a marriage between husband and wife. Note - he makes no mention of romantic/disney style love being a factor. Raising kids through a marriage isn't just best for the kids, it's also best for the mother and father. I'll caveat that last statement by saying that it's best when the mother and father both live in a way that puts the marriage and life together as a priority, and neither puts themselves first at the expense of the family (that's why I divorced, my now ex-wife put herself first at the expense of the family and my only recourse to keep from loosing everything as a result of her lunacy was to kick her out and divorce her).

At one point, I was committed to a single life. I hit my late 30's (am 43 now) and was enjoying a single life, raising my son, and otherwise keeping things simple. Then I met a woman that turned out to be a TRP-aware woman, was actively keeping herself in check, and pretty much shared all my values and beliefs. One thing led to another, and she basically asked to join me on my mission, she didn't want to be the mission. She's now my 2nd wife, and it's honestly working like we've been together 20 years and have all the kinks worked out. I didn't go looking for her, she came over for a group meeting I host at my house. Literally, she just walked in my front door. I honestly the marriage I have with my 2nd wife is not the norm for these days, it's very hard to find a woman like her. She's not a unicorn, she acknowledges (in her own words, not with TRP terminology of course) hypergamy, female solipsism, etc. She just eventually came to understand how those things and living by modern feminist ideology was hurting her and she decided to live differently. So like I said, not a unicorn, she's just like other women, but she's constrained herself.

I would highly recommend that you not marry unless you meet a similar woman. Don't go the typical disney/romance route. It doesn't work, it obscures things that should be dealbreakers until it's too late.

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (2 children)

How old is your second wife and where did you meet her?

[–]Herdsengineers 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She's 42. Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink heavy, not a virgin but not a high n-count, never been married, no kids, didn't want kids at this point. She actually looks much younger than most other women in their 40's as she takes care of herself and her health. Has her own job and money. Her dad is retired stock broker, she's in line to inherit a huge chunk of change when he passes. She'd actually spent 3 years living overseas at one point, getting out of the USA and it's consumerism really solidified for her how harmful it is so she's now a very low maintenance girl. Not a TV gal (except for the Steelers as she's a native of Pittsburgh), not a shopper or big spender. She's had to be responsible for her own self her whole life as she's never been married, never cohabitated, etc. It's funny, I'll want to go buy something and she's like "do we really need that?"

How we met - I was (still do) hosting a church small group at my house. She joined the group. That's how I met her. Started talking about some hikes and other outdoor stuff I do (rafting, caving, etc.), she's also into all that stuff, and we hit it off. First "date" was climbing a mountain together and grabbing BBQ and beer afterwards.

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. I appreciate your detailed answer and good luck. Hope it continues to work out

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

[–]No1Buck 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Jordan 'word salad' Peterson grew up in a small town in Northern Canada 50+ years ago and married the girl who lived across the street. His advice is totally irrelevant in the current year.

[–]hrm0894 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Dude is trying to bring back traditionalism. We will NEVER go back unless we become crippled by war or some shit.

[–]No1Buck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think we're even capable of going back at this point. We just know too much.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 8 points9 points  (0 children)

never marry

[–]Brickles09 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Never marry (2)

[–]jm51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm retired and every guy I know of a similar age lives alone. The till death us do part generation seems to have almost died off. It's ironic that women tend to initiate the divorces and then, after a few flings, find themselves miserable and lonely. While the ex husbands are pretty much content and happy with how things have turned out for them.

We've all got sprogs except for one guy. He's been a natural player all of his life but with each passing year he gets a bit weirder. Like he's realised that his entire life is transitory and inconsequential.

I guess that's true for all of us but having kids gives us the illusion that our being here has some hint of purpose.

[–]lovs2spuge 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Idk about you, but getting old and being tied to a vag that hang like sleeve of wizard sounds pretty terrible.

[–]griz3lda 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Dear god, where did you pick up that analogy?

[–]lovs2spuge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Borat. Lol. It is the funniest movie i have ever seen by a country mile.

[–]SensualSeduction01 2 points3 points  (13 children)

Lol, what exactly led u to believe that you will necessarily have a bad marriage?

Ever heard of Rollo Tomassi?

[–]Morphs_ 8 points9 points  (11 children)

Statistics my friend. A coinflip isn't worth the investment imo.

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Literally 0 evidence to back up your coin flip.

[–]SuperCrazy07 8 points9 points  (5 children)

It’s worse than a coin flip. 50+% of marriages end in divorce...many more are unhappy w dead bedrooms.

[–]clausternn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I'm inclined to agree with never getting married, the statistic you quoted is very misleading because it includes marriages of who are already divorced.

IIRC the odds of a marriage ending in divorce between two people who were never married is 30%. Don't have a source for it though.

[–]SensualSeduction01 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

You’re still not taking into account many factors.

[–]hrm0894 4 points5 points  (2 children)

You're a huge cuck. 50% divorce rate and women initiate 70% of all divorces. Women don't like to be married, they like to get married. And she gets half your shit, alimony, child support, the dog and kids, too. You have to be seriously pussy whipped or thinking with your dick rather than your brain to think marriage is a good idea for any man.

[–]spiritletshereit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

'Women don't like to be married they like to get married.'

*Head explodes*

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ease a little with the salt, bud.

[–]Morphs_ 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Wow, the chance of you not having come across any statistical data regarding divorce rates is next to zero.

I'm not sure about the current numbers, but divorce rates will sit at around 50% tops that a marriage lasts until one of the two persons dies.

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Statistics are used for further causation analysis. If you know what’s causing that, you can have a good marriage if u want. Again, Rollo got married a while ago, but his books are fairly recent.

[–]SuperCrazy07 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't get it...you are basing your argument on two things:

  1. Rollo is a typical male who got married and is happy.

  2. Nothing in the future will change with regard to Rollo's marriage.

Neither of these is something to hang your hat on.

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What im saying is that painting all marriage as bad without ample evidence is a poor thing to do.

[–]whuttupfoo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lol, what exactly led u to believe that you will necessarily have a bad marriage?

Even Rollo Tomassi doesn't suggest anyone get married. That guy got married in a different era. Decades ago.

[–]dtyler86 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My question is, how do you even handle a LTR and still technically be a TRP guy? I’m as red pill as it gets and my gf infringes in about 15% of my morals. I constant question if I’m slipping

[–]No1Buck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

By always remembering that she's not yours; it's just your turn.

[–]hrm0894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Internet, hobbies, and goals.

[–]redvelvet_oreo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would you not have kids?

[–]boardrider73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for asking! Really good. It's been a mother though. I have been divorced for 2 years now.. I actually just posted about my experiences here in Europe. Are you married?

[–]Nergaal -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That't the whole point of putting energy into a relationship: to have a partner who you can use at an old age.