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[FR] Be careful on tinder (self.asktrp)

submitted by cazzah123

I'll keep it short.

Working at uni accommodation doing some electrical work.

On lunch break go on tinder, watch with girl in uni accommodation across town.

Chat, ask if she wants to hook up, she goes silent.

2 days later.

Fired from job, sexual harassment claims from the girl. Waiting on court.

Be careful guys


[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]mr_nate_ 33 points34 points  (0 children)

LOL WHAT WTF???? Literally the most 0-100 psycho bitch story I've heard yet. Good luck buddy, you have our well wishes.

[–]iOSvista 8 points9 points  (1 child)

"Hook up" can be used multiple ways. Up here in the NE people use the term both sexually, and platonically as in "get together." admittedly the latter is less common but its reasonable doubt. Also, there is zero evidence that YOU were the one on your phone who sent the message, again, I know it sounds far fetched, but it is reasonable doubt. If you get a lawyer with even the slightest understanding of the law, and who is actually willing to take this to trial (most public defenders are not and will advise you to take a guilty plea in exchange for a deal right from the start), than you can beat this case. I promise you that you have a good chance of beating this if you dont take the plea bargain that everyone will try to scare you into taking.

[–]Ubergeeek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's from the UK, as am I. 'Hook up' is used as a sexual reference here. I've not heard it used in another way.

[–]a_regular 15 points16 points  (7 children)

To be totally honest it sounds like you didnt just ask to hook up. What are the exact messages?

[–]cazzah123[S] 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Dont have the chats as she unmatched me now.

Basically told her how I wasnt from the area, just working there and hoping to maybe hook up.

She asked what I did, what accommodation I was working at, what we were doing etc.

The only thing I can think that threw her off was she asked how we got around since its all got keycard access only and I said we get given our own access cards that allow us into the hallways etc.

From what I understands (this is all happening in real time as of today) she has played the "he said he had a keycard and was coming to find me" thing, despite the fact she knew fully well we are on completely different accommodations.

[–]idgaf- 23 points24 points  (3 children)

hoping to maybe hook up

"Maybe" implies uncertainty which when combined with overt sexual intention, comes off as desperate and creepy. It shows you have no subtlety or finesse and she can't trust you to be discreet.

Use normal language like "hang out", "make friends", "party", "have a drink", "watch netflix".

[–]mr_nate_ 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Your advice is correct of course, but bro this girl doesn't sound like she ever had any intention of interest. She was out on the prowl to ruin someone's life and get a brief power high.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Most likely

[–]a_regular 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn bro, sounds like youre getting shafted. I hope her claims fall through in court. Obviously talk to a lawyer

[–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. Sounds like she had the option of a cool 'I'm a victim story' that she can peddle around to her friends (this will increase her value with them and make her look desirable, 'look how much men want me! they will break into buildings to try to get with me!'). The alternative was another pump and dump from a guy she can't get to commit. Most women don't want casual sex even if they say they do. So you offered up a golden opportunity at basically no risk to her.

[–]SawkCawk 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Get a lawyer asap. Dont talk to anyone without a lawyer present Since you probably live in the US, hope for you that you gots tons of money for your legal defense. You dont want to cheap out on that.

Listen carefully to everything that has been said. Every story has holes, since the judgement of the cops are biased towards hers (damsell in distress). They wont actually look for it. But it can save your live, so its your job to look out for it. Even the smallest detail can make her unbelievable. Look for the hole in the story and poke trough it (together with lawyer)

[–]GC0W30 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Since you probably live in the US, hope for you that you gots tons of money for your legal defense. You dont want to cheap out on that.

He abbreviates university as "uni".

He also refers to dorms as "uni accommodation".

I'd bet 100:1 he isn't in the continental United States.

[–]cleverley1986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

uni = england

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm thinking aus

[–]trpbleh123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's sad because she was on a hook-up app on top of that.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 1 point2 points  (8 children)

sounds like awful bullshit, stay strong OP

Waiting on court.

you mean you're getting sued? not sure if i understand

[–]cazzah123[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Basically my job is gone.

Now we see if the uni want to push further, which they 100% will because it reflects on the safety of their students (regardless of what actually went down)

Thats when it gets to court.

[–]speed3_freak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You will get unemployment if you're telling the truth. Matching on tinder and asking to hook up isn't any form of sexual harassment. Sounds like a load of bullshit to me.

[–]Ricardo2991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should hire a lawyer and sue!

[–]APSTNDPhy 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Bullshit. There's no way you can lose your job for this if what you have told us is true.

[–]cazzah123[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The company we are subcontracted too deals with about 95% of our work.

They can just deem me as a risk they do t want to deal with and ban me from their sites.

So I'm not been fired for my work, I just won't have any jobs that they are on that I can go to, effectively leaving me out of work.

[–]APSTNDPhy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

They 100% can't do that. You can sue them. This might actually end up pretty good for you. Need to play the psychological torment card to get the most out of it. You my friend are a victim.

[–]cazzah123[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

They 100% can. I';ve seen it done before just because they didn't like someone. They work in a very 'health and safety' environment and are at liberty to just say "we think your a risk" and remove you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfair dismissal bro. Lawyer up.

[–]flatox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha sexual harrasment claim from a message she got through TINDER.

It is a place you only go when you are looking for sexual action. What the fuck, how can she even believe she will win this.

[–]tylertgbh 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wtf... how does she know who you work for though? Maybe don't advertise who your employer is on Tinder..

[–]cazzah123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what I know she just took my pictures to staff and used the basic info I gave her to find me.

Its weird. The point of tinder is that you can unmatch someone if they are being a dick. But she chose not too and instead do this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wtf man? What country are you in>

[–]cazzah123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UK

[–]fcb98292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do guys still shop for girls? WTF? There is NO NEED. TRP is about improving yourself and your life, which attracts the girls and eliminates your effort in the chase. So, why do guys STILL go hunting? Build your body, build yourself, and then shine. The girls will come. Dump the blue pill behavior and thus dump fears of legal bullshit like this, men.

[–]empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You sound surprisingly chill about this.

[–]cazzah123[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its easy to sound chill writing a [FR].

I didn't look very chill last night.

[–]MeatCurtainRod -5 points-4 points  (7 children)

What the hell did you expect?!? This is akin to a professor or teacher asking one of their students out to hookup.

[–]cazzah123[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Guess I should add in that I am subcontracted through a company that handles the maintenance side of the building.

I'm actually nothing to do with the university.

So think would be akin to an outsourced cleaner working in the accommodation asking sa student living in a different accommodation that you have nothing to do with to hook up.

[–]MeatCurtainRod 1 point2 points  (5 children)

You might wanna actually read that contract. Just because you aren't an official employee of said university, does not mean you are immune to the university's policies. But I get this is a moot point.

And you should know by now that universities are literally the highest risk of getting screwed over by overly privileged girls.

[–]cazzah123[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Didn't even click with me, seemed like such a harmless conversation that would just end in a "sure" or "no thanks". Didn't even cross my mind that this kinda thing can be turned into sexual harassment.

[–]MeatCurtainRod 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep.. lesson learned: anything can be turned into sexual harassment. Welcome to the modern world, where matriarchy exists.

On a side note, it is so ironic, isn't it, that feminists harp up and down about the patriarchy, and then turn around to create the matriarchy as a response tactic to combat something that literally never existed in the first place.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Didn't even cross my mind that this kinda thing can be turned into sexual harassment.

sadly , we live in a world where 'sexual assault' definition has greatly expanded to comical levels (i say 'comical' but it's not funny).

and as your experience shows, the plaintiff is always believed and the defendant is guilty without trial (so to speak).

btw, when you wrote [FR], you mean you are in France ?

[–]cazzah123[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

[Field Report]

It really does suck that with 1 lie a 19 year old girl can cause so much distress in someones life.

[–]obama_loves_nsa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh we stand with you bro. Good luck.