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Cancelled flight, left her stranded. Am I in the wrong? (self.asktrp)

submitted by LeTemps1212

Throwaway account here.

I realize I may be asking a loaded question to the TRP community but I would like everyone's honest opinion.

Background: I had invited this girl that I had been seeing (technically a friend I would have physical interactions with) to a midwest destination. We both live in opposite coastal cities and I wanted to visit this midwest city but not by myself.

I contacted her initially to see if she would like to come and she declined since she was seeing someone at that time. A couple months later she contacts me out of nowhere (no communication since initial contact) and she states she would like to visit that city with me as well and that she was no longer seeing anyone.

I book her flights and my own to this midwest destination as well as lodging and a rental car. We both arrive to this city and we have a great time initially.

On the 1st night, she refuses my advances, saying she was too tired and hot. That's fine. I felt I would be able to succeed on the 2nd night.

2nd night rolls around, we both go out to meet up with her friends and she completely ignores me the entire night. I start drinking heavily (along with herself) and try to distract myself by talking to another girl in the group. After a long night, we finally get back to my place and again I try to initiate physical contact. She pushes me away this time, saying that she was too tired, too upset (she had been arguing with a friend from back home) and too hot. I roll back onto my side of the bed feeling extremely frustrated, enough so that I wouldn't fall asleep for the next hour.

After being frustrated for an hour, I woke her up and stated that if she wasn't going to do anything physical over the course of the weekend, she could pack her bags and leave (this was 5 am in the morning). She promptly asks "seriously? I was going to wait and see over the weekend" gets up, packs her bags and leaves within 10 minutes.

After a period of 12 - 14 hours after the argument which resulted in her leaving, I cancelled her flight, which I had paid for from the midwest city to her home effectively leaving her to pay for her own last minute, expensive flight. I also haven't notified her of the cancellation, and I'm working under the assumption that we will cease communicating in the future (she unfriended me on various social networks)

Question: Was I in the wrong for canceling her flight and leaving her to get back on her own? I'm still on the fence about this since I feel like it was implied there would be physical contact during the trip and I did provide lodging, car rental and flights. I just feel morally wrong since I had let her go off on her own at 5 in the morning and I also cancelled her flight back to her destination.

Would appreciate honest opinions /r/asktrp. Thanks.


[–]2redbluepilling 458 points459 points  (40 children)

I'm upvoting this as an example of bad behaviour. I suggest others do the same. It shows how you can be so jaded, trying to use TRP to explain your actions and way of thinking instead of trying to change those for the better.

This is a train wreck. It can't be serious. There's zero redpill behaviour in here.

Step 1. I'm scared to go alone to some place I really want to go to :(

Step 2. Let's go with a girl and pay for her so she'll have sex with me.

Step 3. I'm pursuing her, why isn't she having sex with me!?

Step 4. Let's meet all her friends in this city (wtf?) while I do my best to not be alone--stay in her group and get drunk!

Step 5. I'm pursuing her, why isn't she having sex with me!?

Step 6. Temper-tantrum time. Frustrations hit the limit and burst. Apparently any time you're able to 'stand up to' a girl it's RP...never mind the fact that it took these silent emotions all this time to come boiling to the surface...

Step 7. I didn't consider the possibility that she might not have sex with me and I didn't handle it like a man to move on and enjoy my time in the city / meet many other eligible women. Instead I chose to be bitter, emotional, and reactive, without stopping to consider how I may have made mistakes.

Step 8. Stemming from step 7, I was a vindictive asshole, upset that I didn't get my peepee touched. I'm super alpha.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 106 points107 points  (1 child)

Step 2. Let's go with a girl and pay for her so she'll have sex with me.

Step 3. I'm pursuing her, why isn't she having sex with me!?

Step 5. I'm pursuing her, why isn't she having sex with me!?

Step 7. I didn't consider the possibility that she might not have sex with me and I didn't handle it like a man to move on and enjoy my time in the city / meet many other eligible women. Instead I chose to be bitter, emotional, and reactive, without stopping to consider how I may have made mistakes.

Exactly. Typical Nice Guy behaviour here.

[–]Modtrpbot[M] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/redbluepilling by vandaalen. [History]

[This is an Automated Message]

[–]DocTomoe 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He failed when he bought the plane tickets, thinking it would entitle him to anything. About as BP as it gets.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like this response. This reply reminded me that TRP views equality so much better than feminism or butthurt-betaism.

It's not often we talk about womens rights on here as such, but its true that she had no obligation to have sex with him, just as the guy wouldn't if the roles were reversed. Standing ovation for step 7. ♂

[–]AskTRP Endorsed ContributorAlphaAsFAQ 55 points56 points  (16 children)

Honest opinion? Ok.

this girl that I had been seeing (technically a friend I would have physical interactions with)

So she's just a friend you would like to have sex with? You're probably already friendzoned and have no chance with her

she states she would like to visit that city with me as well and that she was no longer seeing anyone.

She's either looking for a new cock to ride or a new beta orbiter to get free shit from. At this point it might be 50/50 chance, giving you the benefit of the doubt.

I book her flights ... as well as lodging and a rental car.

Now it's 100% beta orbiter. She knows she has found a guy she can get free stuff from by making him think he can get some pussy.

I woke her up and stated that if she wasn't going to do anything physical over the course of the weekend, she could pack her bags and leave

Weakest move possible. Throwing a tantrum you weren't getting sex. Her pussy is now a desert.

I cancelled her flight ... I also haven't notified her of the cancellation

You set yourself up to fail and now you are punishing her for your fuck ups. This is just a scum bag move.

You have a lot of growing up to do and even more learning. You are very immature (that username confirms this) and have no idea how the real world works. Luckily there is a tonne of resources here to help you figure it out. If you're pulling shit like this on this sort of scale, I suggest you go monk-mode for at least 6 months and work on getting your life in order. To get that upset when getting denied sex from someone that was never going to give it to you anyway shows a very low level of self-confidence and a poor understanding of TRP basics.

[–]2redbluepilling 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Spot on, & a bit more eloquently put than I wrote it. I was in disbelief that something like this made its way into asktrp.

[–]LeTemps1212[S] 13 points14 points  (14 children)

I've since rebooked the flight for her after reading your post.

I do want to point out that I have had sex with her in the past, it's just we don't see each other often since we're on opposite coasts. While we were never dating, I had thought it was implied when I invited her out since it had been done before.

[–]2redbluepilling 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Here's an important lesson for people reading this... women, unlike men, are far more fluid and the past means very little relative to the emotions that they feel in the present.

Also, be open to possibilities. Expectation is the mother of all disappointment.

[–]bertmaklinFBI 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Briffault's Law. There is a reason its on the sidebar.

[–]cascadecombo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I had thought it was implied

Nope, nope, nope. You weren't even talking to her when it was suddenly happening. You need to be clear of your intentions, you don't have to say "I'm going to fuck you" but shit, you dangled a free vacation in front of her face and get pissy when she isn't hopping on your dick because you spent money on her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You literally could not be more beta. My wife and I are laughing at how beta you are.

[–]real-boethius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had thought it was implied when I invited her out since it had been done before.

You need to be very clear and unapologetic about your expectations. Then if she reneges it is perfectly legit to withdraw your side of the deal.

[–]KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should've left it canceled. She's a freeloading cunt. She KNEW the deal when she accepted your invite.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Typical Nice Guy behaviour. Doing a favour and expecting to get into a girl's panties for it. Then being disappointed and getting mad about that it doesn't work.

Read and learn about yourself:

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

A RP man shrugs shit off and pursues his interests. You acted vindictive and childish and cost her a lot of money unnecessarily, to "punish" her for not fucking you. This seems like pathetic, childish to me. I could not imagine a strong, self-sufficient man doing this.

You should have just enjoyed the rest of your time and moved on.

[–]Goldfulgore 41 points42 points  (0 children)

The red pill was never intended to punish women for their behavior but to set boundaries on your own. I am glad that you rebooked the flight tickets

[–]copralalic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I understand the impulse, and empathize, but you were in the wrong and you have since realized it.

[–]pupplenupple 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Covert contracts to purchase sex are the work of a man who hasn't got the stones to hire a whore and call the transaction what it is.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Yes, you are in the wrong here. You did not, at any point, indicate your intentions with her were any more than platonic. In her mind, she was expecting to meet you and her established friends, all while getting a free plane ride- a sweet gig. Instead of being alpha, you were being straight manipulative and entitled.

[–]I_Am_Soulhuntre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, you were wrong.

Granted, we don't have all the info - but given that it is human nature to spin a story to their own advantage I have no reason to believe you acted better than you told us. Frankly this was fairly doomed from the start - out of now here, after being frozen out you just lay out the cash for the flights after essentially a single phone call? Not a great move. Others have told you why.

The real core of the issue is this idea (paraphrasing) "But, but if she doesn't put out I throw her out, right guys?" being completely divorced from it's underlying concepts and contexts. This is why TRP and alpha mode are more than just checklists, more than just blindly parroting advice and thinking it is invariant.

There were a lot of options here, options to maintain your frame and a position of strength without being a vindictive asshole acting like a spoiled child. There is a radical difference between a strong alpha setting your conditions and expectations and a bitter, revengeful beta with blue balls having a tantrum. This was the latter.

The most telling part of your problem can be found here - "I roll back onto my side of the bed feeling extremely frustrated, enough so that I wouldn't fall asleep for the next hour." Why? Why are you so invested in fucking this girl that you let her refusal dig into your brain like that? Do you not see how the desperation rolls off you at times like this? It's just so needy.

You might be a great guy with your act together... but in that moment? No one would have known. So after having a quiet tantrum for an hour you toss her out in what I am sure was a totally in control, mature and self assured frame of mind right? I am sure you weren't acting like a man in the grips of a fit of petulance... right?

Mind you - I am not saying you need to give girls a free ride in your life and not give a shit if your getting what you want, I am saying that situations dictate responses. You should strive to act from the frame of a reasonable man who has a lot of options, resources and decent self control.

What should you have done?

  • Have fun
  • Be outcome independent
  • Reward good behavior
  • Remove access / intimacy for bad behavior

Personally? I would have gone the fuck to sleep. The next day I would simply have gone on with my day and had a great time - with her preferably, without her in any case. Let her spend the day with a relaxed guy enjoying himself who is not emotionally desperate to get his dick wet. When the night came I would have brought out the bedding needed for her to sleep on the couch and let her know the "guest room" was ready for her. Not with anger, but amused and good natured acceptance of her desires to not be intimate.

That's it. No anger, no desperation. My boundaries - her choice. She can decide if she wants to make me an offer good enough to bring her into my bed - and I assure you, my acceptance would not be guaranteed.

Throwing her out in a strange town, at 5am then cancelling her flights and not even having the balls to tell her that? Desperate. Needy. Beta as hell.

Ken

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You paid for her flight, you paid for the rental car, and you paid for lodging, in a strange city full of HER friends. And you expected her to not only respect you but also find you attractive? You were her chauffeur, not her fuck buddy. Cancelling her return flight was an act of spite committed by a sexually frustrated man. You have a LOT to learn.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well you were acting like a child but neither were you obligated in any real sense to pay for her ticket, it was yours to rescind but also very childish of you to rescind it at all. You weren't in an established relationship, you didn't have any justifiable recourse to her not sucking your dick.

Now if she was your fiancee and fucked around behind your back while on a trip then yeah, you could rescind airfare as a way of dissolving a toxic relationship. But there was no real prior relationship between the two of you, you spent a chunk of change for a chance at pussy, you made yourself a beta bucks and responded childishly.

[–]Deaddpooll 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What a fucking asshole!

The girl was smart not to put out for a whiny bitch like you.

[–]I_like_big_titays 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are some other questions that are factors. How long had it been since you last saw her in person? Did you get fatter? How flirty was the conversation leading up to the trip?

Long story short the game was played poorly, but the only reason you lost was because you chose to. Outcome independence would have prevented this and been a non issue. I would not have canceled the flight, but probably would have told her to find alternate lodging.

[–]TheThunderBringer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Holy shit, you're the most self-centered, greedy, backstabbing, presumptuous asshole I've had the misfortune to read about in months if not years.

[–]KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah.

Respect.

[–]awesomesalsa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you even get a refund or was it 100% out of spite? Also you should have had the decency to tell her

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You are an asshole

[–]cascadecombo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, he is just an immature idiot. There is a difference.

[–]duckducklandwhale 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol...lemme just say you fucked up for paying for some bitch's flight ticket. What's worse is it seems to be some rando bitch you dont even have a connection with. I dont spend more than 40 bucks on a chick, and that's for certain situations. You actually remind me of one of my beta friends (he's a virgin though) who's going to fly to get some post-wall, got a kid, trying to cash BB, pussy. He tries to act like that's not the deal, but it's the deal. It'll be a waste of money. Whatever, though at least he's not that much a sap that he's buying her ticket. As for the canceling the ticket thing....yeesh based on the story you came off more needy and beta that canceling the ticket after getting shotdown is all sorts of beta and band. It likely wont be looked at as standing your ground/having control of your balls ever. It'll always be looked at negatively. No salvation. With that, if you really dont care about this chick and your reputation, then who cares you did the right thing and got your money back. It's obvious that you do though...

[–]_edge_case 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, you are a major asshole.

[–]nickcorvus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

World class scumbaggery. You should feel ashamed for behaving in such a whiny, entitled manner.

[–]FrameWalker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LeTemps,

Stick around and learn to be a better man. Many of us recovering nice guys have had our own irrational nice guy dickwad moments. Learn to be free like a Pook (read book of pook)

[–]mechakingghidorah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP,I'll tell you what my great uncle told me:"All men pay in one form or another"

Next time just skip the middle man and see a prostitute.

[–]23490865243879526487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guys I think it's a re-post from some other sub from about a year ago.

[–]PayneGreyWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are a reprehensible human being. This post belongs on /r/neckbeardthings. You epitomize the "Nice Guy" persona that is incessantly ridiculed on this website.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Edit: Hello non-RP subscribers! Please remember that voting and/or commenting on this thread is against the rules.

Have a good day!

:0)


Why in the world would you ever pay for flights etc to hook up with a woman? If someone wants to visit and meet up with you - make them pay their own way. You invested a lot of money into a woman when you didn't have an established routine/understanding (ie she wasn't your plate or a FWB). Edit I see you mentioned that you have had intimate relations with this woman previously, this time around she clearly felt she could game you (and she did, since you re-purchased her ticket). Focus on local women, and don't bother with this chick anymore. She used you, and you played right into her hand every step of the way. Throwing her out and cancelling her ticket were the only correct decisions you made. Now, she feel vindicated since you coughed up the money again, and you look even more indecisive (and you're still the 'villain' regardless). When you pick a course of action - stick to it. That means considering your options and making sure you make the correct calls to begin with.

Don't waste money on women that haven't earned that kind of investment.

She was expecting a free trip, and she (mostly) got one.

Tell her that you cancelled her ticket, she'll find out soon enough when she tries to check in, but you should give her a head's up.

In the future, don't drop that kind of cash on a woman until she has earned it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Drawing boundaries and refusing to let other people abuse those boundaries is important. I agree he messed up from the very start. That said, one thing that RP stresses a lot for men is "always be willing to walk away." I'm not sure how he went about sending her away, but I have read other accounts where a man will send a woman away after being intimate (because he doesn't want her to spend the night, or because he has other things to do). If he was calm during the process, then I don't see an issue with it - but if he showed any emotion, then the idea was solid but the execution was poor.

    I don't have a problem with him cancelling the ticket. There's no law that says he had to spend that money on her to begin with. Revoking the ticket may make him look petty to her - but at that point, who cares? She accepted a free ride, I wonder if at any point she offered to pay for anything at all. The fact that he changed his mind twice (and bought a second ticket) just makes him look uncertain, and easy to manipulate. Not telling her the ticket was cancelled comes off as petulant as well.

    In my mind, the 'best' way to handle the situation would have been:

    "That's fine we don't have to do anything at all. You can pay me back for the two plane tickets and cover half the cost of this hotel room." If she balks and/or says "no way" then he tells her (calmly) that she has to leave, and arrange for transportation home because he's cancelling the ticket.

    Everything gets taken care of in one fell swoop and he never has to deal with her again.

    Honestly, a situation like that would probably teach her to think twice about using a man financially. Unfortunately, because he caved, she only walks away with a sense of "even if the guy hates me, he's still going to take care of me. I don't even have to pretend to be nice to get what I want."

    [–]Idontlikekarmawhores 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Spot on man

    [–]Enjoy_The_Decline -3 points-2 points  (11 children)

    Why are you paying for a girls flights, wtf man

    Youre not in the wrong, next her

    [–]2redbluepilling 25 points26 points  (9 children)

    Youre not in the wrong, next her

    Except for the fact that he did so many things wrong and then had a temper tantrum when he didn't get his sex that in his mind he was entitled to.

    [–]Enjoy_The_Decline 4 points5 points  (8 children)

    You're right, shouldve read "youre not in the wrong for nexting her"

    [–]Agent4777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Dude. You are a first class cunt.

    [–]Kind_of_crap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You want to get pissy about her not being into you, then whatever, but canceling the flight is a real dick move. Like borderline psychopath shit. You need to grow the fuck up.

    [–]AlienSunrise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So you went and hung out for the girls night out and she treated you like one of the girls? What a surprise. She was sleeping and you woke her up and kicked her out and canceled her flight because she would fuck you? So you just sat there like a pissed off little kid and woke her up when your tantrum hit its peak. These posts are why TRP gets its bad rep. Yes youre in the wrong.

    [–]1RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Your are in critical condition OP, whether you're aware at a conscious level or not.

    Go monk mode (as /u/alphaasfaq suggested).

    Take some of the literature in the sidebar with you.

    Find yourself. Your real self. Your inner alpha that bends the world over and fucks it in the ass. Not the bitter beta bitching about being entitled to the reach-around the world withheld from you.

    Your rest of your life will be miserable otherwise. And there's no way you're going to convince me that you are leading a fulfilling life after this story.

    [–]real-boethius -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    You are both in the wrong.

    She used you to pay for her weekend with her friends with hints and implications of sex. Or at least knew that was why you were paying for all that stuff. I have no sympathy for her - she is a selfish user.

    You screwed up in every possible way as others have pointed out. Never spend any significant amount of money before the sex and probably not even then.

    You should have made your expectations clear from the start. And the first night you should have kicked her out after the "too tired" BS.

    [–]pupplenupple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Never spend any significant amount of money before the sex and probably not even then.

    Never spend any significant amount of money you wouldn't have spent otherwise before the sex and probably not even then. Fixed that for you. It's still OK to take a woman on a weekend holiday with hopes of sex just so long as you'd be doing it if there were no hopes of sex. If you genuinely want someone to look at tourist shit with, or to help you put up your tent, or because you just hate empty hotel rooms, and have the money to happily pay for it, then go right ahead and spend.

    [–]bluePillBall -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

    A lot of OP bashing in this thread. I personally think he behaved well within norms, apart from one subtle (and one big) mistake. /u/redbluepilling as well as /u/AlphaAsFAQ are both way off base here. I had a very similar situation happen to me in Vegas about 6 months ago (except that me and the girl in question did not have sex previously, as is OP's case). So let me break it down, since I have some first-hand experience:

    Background: I had invited this girl that I had been seeing (technically a friend I would have physical interactions with) to a midwest destination. We both live in opposite coastal cities and I wanted to visit this midwest city but not by myself.

    Perfectly normal to not want to go somewhere strange without a familiar place. This doesn't mean OP is scared as /u/redbluepilling claims, it simply means he's a normal non-autistic social human being.

    On the 1st night, she refuses my advances, saying she was too tired and hot. That's fine. I felt I would be able to succeed on the 2nd night.

    This might be OP's first mistake. Since he didn't succeed on night #1, it was clearly a bust. At this point, he had two choices:

    1. Have a good time, regardless of any sexual forays.
    2. Keep trying to get with her.

    The best choice here would be (1). Incidentally, this is what I picked when I ran in my own situation. OP decided to go with (2). Now this isn't necessarily a mistake. Why? OP previously had sex with this woman. Spending a few nights in a city in the same hotel room alone with a woman definitely has sexual connotations. She knew exactly what she was implying, but she decided to be a bitch and OP decided to be a bit naive.

    2nd night rolls around, we both go out to meet up with her friends and she completely ignores me the entire night. I start drinking heavily (along with herself) and try to distract myself by talking to another girl in the group. After a long night, we finally get back to my place and again I try to initiate physical contact. She pushes me away this time, saying that she was too tired, too upset (she had been arguing with a friend from back home) and too hot. I roll back onto my side of the bed feeling extremely frustrated, enough so that I wouldn't fall asleep for the next hour.

    This is where shit gets real. She's no longer not only not responding to OP's advances, but she's also being a cunt. This is a tell-tale sign of a shitty human being. I just want to mention that this also happened to me! And at this point, all sexual attraction should go out the window. You need to distance yourself from this person as they will only bring you down.

    Another mistake was trying (again) to get with her after a night of being ignored. Now, at this point, OP also makes the big mistake. He gets angry at not getting laid. What he should have gotten angry at is the fact that this other person he's being very nice to is not reciprocating the bare-minimum as required by any social norms.

    Again, this should NOT be about sex. This is about her being a total fucking cunt and ignoring you even though you were overly nice to her. At this point, I would (and I did) confront her on a very socially normative level. OP may want to say things like "you're being a shitty friend" or "this isn't a proper way to act" etc. Conceptually, this should be the same conversation you're having with a male friend if he's being an dickish asshole.

    Question: Was I in the wrong for canceling her flight and leaving her to get back on her own?

    OP is 100% justified in leaving her stranded and he is 100% justified in being upset. This is a question about self-respect and there is absolutely nothing wrong with breaking all ties immediately with a shitty human being. Some bridges need to be burned.

    Here are some suggestions for next time. I learned these the hard way:

    1. Make sure intentions are (crystal) clear before a trip.
    2. If you're comfortable financially, paying is perfectly fine.
    3. Make sure you know her fairly well.
    4. Be outcome independent. You're there to have fun not to have sex, even though sex would be nice.
    5. It's her right to decline! If she's respectfully declining your advances (not this immature ignoring passive-aggressive bullshit), respect her choice.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]ButtholeInterest -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Your first mistake was expecting sex by paying for her flight and all that jazz. Second mistake is paying for her flight and all that jazz. Your third mistake was your frustration and the result of it. Forget about her and move on, take this as a lesson. Don't listen to the people here judging you. Just acknowledge your mistakes and move on to the next one. Personally I probably would also cancel her flight out of spite, because fuck her thats why and save yourself financially.

      [–]666Evo -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

      Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. This is the first piece of "advice" I've dealt since finding TRP. If it's inadvisable, I need to know.

      Would a good way to handle this have been something along the lines of informing her that you're going out for the night and for her to expect you to be bringing home some "company"? She can either leave, or hang around and listen to you fuck your "company".
      Cue "he's got options/mustn't be as beta as I thought" hamstering and you're (closer to being) in, whilst actually being in another chick?

      [–]copralalic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Saying you will bring back some other chick is not good. What if you were to fail? Then what? It's the same basic idea as ultimatums... not good.

      My understanding is that the advice here should be the same advice as always: use your mistakes as lessons not yet learned, and maintain frame.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Dude, he could have had such a great time with this. He makes a move on the first night, then realizes the girl he's with isn't down to fuck. He instantly takes a moment to be like "...shit, I fucked up." Then that moment is over. Now what? Wait... where is he? He's in a new city with new people that he'll never see again. What should he do?

      Have fucking fun. Go out with the group, then instantly run game on any random attractive girl he sees. Party his ass off. He should do what he's supposed to do on a vacation, no matter who he's with. Have no expectations. Go fucking balls out. Tease girls, make out and walk away to talk to another. Who gives a fuck. He should have let go, but instead he held on tight and look where it got him.

      Live and learn.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]666Evo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is why I come here. Constructive criticism.
        If he even had a chance, the implication that he doesn't need her is all it takes. If she's going to respond, great. If not, you've gone out and had a great time regardless.