Lifting aside, what activities/hobbies do you do to raise your SMV (self.asktrp)
submitted 5 months ago by jpmthrowaway98
Purpose wise, I’ve been really sluggish lately, and I feel like I need some new hobbies or activities that might make me feel a bit more fulfilled while raising SMV. Any ideas on things I can pick up to help me out in this area?
[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 153 points154 points155 points 5 months ago* (2 children)
The way I see things now is that as a man, in order of importance, you need:
1. to be proficient at Game (TRP theory + applying by approaching, spinning plates, etc.). Any activity that might help you here is great: work/training/side-gig in sales (train all game skills), theater/improv (trains body language + rambling), group activities (trains leadership + team dynamics), debate/politics (trains frame), travel (trains skills at meeting new people), dancing (trains kino + confidence + body language).
2. to be physically strong and healthy. Lifting is mandatory of course. A lot of physical activities can add to or complement your lifting, and become your prime cool-factor and source of fun: rockclimbing (arms, shoulders, back, core), swimming/surfing (back, shoulders), mountain-biking (legs), any ball sports (cardio), yoga, etc. In your choice, factor in the fun you have, the health benefits you want, and the potential for building a social circle.
3. to be able to fight. Boxing, muay thai, BJJ, MMA. Knowing that you can keep your cool when provoked, because you know you can totally beat up someone or take a punch and survive, will lift your overall confidence like crazy. A strong fighting ability is the ultimate anxiety-killer.
4. to build, or more widely, build/create/fix/kill/destroy, in other words "the type of actions of Man that physically change his world". Preferably something traditionally manly (so, traditionally useful): carpentry (house, furniture) and mechanics (fixing car/motorbike) would be the two very best choices here. Something more obscure like welding, electrics, plumbing, could also be useful and fun. At the very least something creative like drawing/painting or music, but as this is not a man-only activity, you'll need to achieve mastery/excellence for it to be valuable (via getting recognition/fame for it). Masculine activities in relation to exploiting/surviving Nature fall in that category too: hunting or fishing (even better, spearfishing), timber-falling, firefighting, wilderness survival, etc.
Pick one activity in each category, in that order of importance. Try several things until you find one in each category that you both enjoy and are good at. Don't choose too many - you'll need time to achieve skill mastery so you can't spread your precious time out over too many activities.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 5 months ago (0 children)
This is SO FUCKING GOOD.
[–]stylerTyler 43 points44 points45 points 5 months ago (4 children)
If you do anything just to “raise your SMV”, you’ll never achieve anything and you’ll never be happy and satisfied. Raising your SMV is a byproduct and not an objective. If you do anything just to get them girls to like you, you’ll fail miserably.
You should work on yourself by improving what you can do and learning new things and basically having a life then your “SMV” will automatically increase and people will want to associate with you and include you in their plans.
[–]LethalShade 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (3 children)
Well sure but it's worth taking into account. If you're split between your new Magic The Gathering hobby or picking up surfing, that's an easy choice.
[–]1Soultrane9 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (2 children)
Yeah it's MTG, because I choose activities based on my interests and not how attractive theoretically they are to strangers....
[–]LethalShade 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (1 child)
It's not about neurotically wondering if other people like your hobby, it's calculating the investment and return that it would give you. Fun is easy, fun + useful shit is harder.
[–]1Soultrane9 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (0 children)
As someone already said in this thread, if you start doing something because women, you are doing it wrong.
I lift because I enjoy it. I play games because I enjoy it. I don't fix stuff because I don't give a shit about it. I don't go to latin dance lessons because that's not interesting to me, even if I miss 2 new blowjobs every week.
You'll get the biggest return from what interests you the most, no calculations are needed.
[–]king_kay_ 65 points66 points67 points 5 months ago (25 children)
I've done the first 3 and photography. I like to keep learning new things/skills. It keeps me busy and I've read that it has been shown to increase neurogenesis/plasticity and decrease the likelyhood of Alzheimer's.
I never brag about these things either. I prefer to keep it quiet and let it come out naturally. The shock value makes it even more impressive.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 5 months ago (6 children)
This comment deserves gold in my opinion. I’m 17 and about to go to college and these are all the things I’m looking to do. I’m young so I still have time I guess. I would also just add reading a lot.
[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 10 points11 points12 points 5 months ago (5 children)
Just gonna extend an olive branch here and say the instrument is the best on that list. I've played drums for 12 years and playing on stage or any performance on stage for that matter is a huge boost to SMV.
[–]Rudeyyyy 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (4 children)
Been playing drums for about a year and a half. Do you have any tips to build your weaker hand metalgear? Seems like when i go to do my paradiddles my left hand can't keep up with my right when I hit a certain tempo.
[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (3 children)
Had the same issue. Completely normal while you're getting started as your dominate hand does way more. I found that doing some snare exercises to a metronome was the most effective. It's all about practicing double, triple, and quadra strokes in clean/smooth time slowly and increasing speed over time.
Try this one too, Left hand does constant snare hits in triplets and the right hits every 3 hits to a metronome. Til your left forearm and wrist burns battery acid. If it doesn't get to the point where it's fatiguing to keep up, hit with the left hand harder before increasing speed.
Another really good exercise to start early on is to switch your snare and time keeping hand. So your left hand is pretty much always on cymbals and your right hand stays on the snare. It builds ambidexterity and gets your left hand to do the exact job that made your right fast in the first place.
I'm assuming your right is dominate and your left is weaker. Swap these if you're the opposite obviously.
[–]Rudeyyyy 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (2 children)
Appreciate all the feedback. Yes my right hand is the dominant one. I can play basic songs like AC/DC but I’m a metal head and well I’m nowhere near the level of Parkway Drive or Lamb of God yet. I’m saving this comment. Also what technique did you use for your bass? I’m trying to go flat foot as I’m not really a big fan of heel toe.
[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (1 child)
Fellow metalhead here as well lol. For speed just practice slow to a metronome and keeping 4/4 time and speed up gradually. For precision and groove Lamb of God is a good start, but I think a lot of my double bass skill came from bands like Veil of Maya and Born of Osiris though.
Also, I have a youtube channel with some birds eye view covers on there. Not sure if they are beneficial but let me know some feedback for the future videos. Here
[–]Rudeyyyy 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I appreciate the help. Yeah BoS has some good double bass songs. But recently Wage War is the go to for me. Songs like The River, Witness and Indestructible are nuts when it comes to double bass. Not in a sense of speed but of technique.
I’m going to definitely check out those covers once I’m done with my finals thanks.
[–]jpmthrowaway98[S] 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago (1 child)
I’m 100% going to look into all of these things, and the fact that you don’t brag about it is something I’ll also be aiming o do
[–]PerfectOffice 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (12 children)
What instrument do you recommend to a 16 year old?
[–]1273518ahh 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (4 children)
You should play whatever you have a passion for but I'd recommend piano or guitar. Start as soon as possible because the older you get the harder it becomes to pick up an instrument!
[–]PerfectOffice 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (3 children)
Hmm, sure, I was already thinking between one of the two. I think I’m going to get a guitar, but do I need to follow lessons IRL or can I learn it from YouTube?
[–]1273518ahh 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
IRL lessons are extremely helpful when starting out but they can get costly. It's a matter of whether or not you have the funds for them.
[–]SergeiBobgodsky 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
If you can get a good teacher at a decent price, IRL lessons are killer. Especially when you're first starting out. They can help you develop good habits that will stick with you for life.
After a month or two, I don't see the point in continuing lessons unless you're planning to do something with music theory or as a career. Learn the fretboard on your own time and learn how to play music that you like. The best motivation to practice everyday is when you start to learn how to shred like your favorite band.
[–]king_kay_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I learnt from a friend in the beginning and that was helpful. But I learnt to play songs on YouTube. Theory can be learnt by yourself also, but even for me I need a teacher to explain some things better.
The most important thing is to practice everyday, even if it is 15 minutes. Build that muscle memory.
[–]Rudeyyyy 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I like the drums. You can't really show off much in person because you have a whole kit with you but in terms of playing there aren't many good drummers out there today.
[–]bryanwmac 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (3 children)
Piano to start, great for theory and it's also a percussive instrument. You can use a midi keyboard to create almost anything you want on a computer or using a loopstation. Next guitar, learning the basic chords on a acoustic is very very easy. As you advance you will get used to a stringed instruments and plus it's a sound that is harder to replicate using a midi keyboard.
[–]bryanwmac 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (1 child)
Next thing, you're 21 in college with a full music studio in his bedroom like me 👍
[–]bryanwmac 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Also I recommend a few voice lessons, just to learn the basics. Singing is obviously a cool talent and it helps with speaking well. Voice exercises can be found on YouTube.
[–]king_kay_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (1 child)
Like others have mentioned: guitar or piano.
I play both at a decent level. I would recommend guitar because it is more easily accessible and electric guitar becomes more fun.
Even if you can't sing well, you can eadily become the life of the party.
But you don't have to choose these instruments.
I learnt piano at an early age because my parents wanted me to, but I ended up enjoying guitar more. Pick an instrument that interests you.
I would love to smash out a Saxophone or bust out a Fiddle. Drums and bass are badass too.
[–]PerfectOffice 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
Saxophone sounds so fun, but I think I'll start with the piano then guitar.
[–]duehvdke 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (2 children)
I'm 18 and learning Spanish and I'm glad my efforts aren't in vain. Also going into college and picking up a krav maga class will help round out my fitness (been lifting for 3 years now). That and the quiet. I need to work on not being arrogant.
¿De verdad? Mi también. Estoy aprendiendo Español desde años nuevo.
You're doing yourself a massive favour. Learning a language is so under-rated. You have literally unlocked communicating the 2nd most spoken language in the world. Giving you access to not only fiesty Spanish girls, but the sexy latinas also.
I've been practicing with a lot of native speakers, it really helps with your social skills. Not only do you learn a language but you are stepping into another culture. This makes you more understanding and able to connect more with people.
[–]gaki123 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
[–]lampshade2818 7 points8 points9 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Just anything social, athletic, or intellectual that interests you.
Join a professional organization, get a Master's degree, get a certification in your profession, join a rec sports team, volunteer, etc.
[–]LogicalWinner 6 points7 points8 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Learn how to fix things (Cars, house shit, whatever)
Learn how to fight (and make sure you test it regularly via live sparring a'la BJJ, Wrestling, Muay Thai, Boxing, MMA, Judo, etc)
Practice your speaking ability (Often over looked, but it helps a ton)
Become a high earner (Kind of obvious, but being a high earner helps your SMV no matter what)
[–]02537-41101 6 points7 points8 points 5 months ago (1 child)
Among other things, one thing I do on my off-time, or when I'm just bored with my Kobo is read. Read voraciously on anything and everything.
The most interesting people I've ever met in my 20 years are people who see the world in ways that the masses never could. They got this way by becoming curious about everything.
[–]UncleChido 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
This is one of the best advice I’ve seen here.
I tell my siblings; read read and read till your eyes hurt.
Knowledge is everything. The mind comes before the body. Read more than you lift.
[–]zboo1h 5 points6 points7 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I play cello in an orchestra. I used to bake pies for a living so I bake extravagant pastries and have cooked all my life. I play guitar on a street corner sometimes on the weekends just for fun, I spend the money I make usually on a nice ass burger and beer for lunch. I talk to strangers. I make sure my clothes fit me and my attitude fits me.
[–]Blackhawk2479 8 points9 points10 points 5 months ago (0 children)
A musical instrument. Then get involved with a band when you’re good enough and/or start writing and producing your own stuff.
I taught myself guitar, drums and bass, and built my own home recording studio.
[–]Bonsorlocal 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Im working on digital arts (film and media) as a positive outlet to keep my mind active, take up spare time, and as a catalyst for initiating events in my life. Its also perfect for meeting women; Girls love attention, so when i tell a girl that i am doing a creative film about such and such, they appreciate the fact i chose them over others, and are more than happy to spend the day getting shot.
[–]mashiss 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (1 child)
There is an app named Duolingo for you to learn a new language.. have you learn a recent post about a the power of a calendar? Use it my goal is to have a new skill to learn daily and then I'll select the one I like the most and master it.
Have a good life trip mate.
[–]jpmthrowaway98[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I haven’t seen the calendar post, but I’ll look for it. Sounds interesting to me
[–]Baitman97 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (0 children)
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Really most things that you do righteously will come off attractive, but I'll give you one.
Wet shaving. Not only is it just great from a purely man standpoint I have never once had a woman watch me shave with a razor that didnt get turned on.
[–]NewReligionIsMySong 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I do a decent amount of homesteading. I have 3 beehives, a 450 sq ft veggie garden, a few pots and a trough of herbs, and lastly, maple trees for maple syrup in winter, and sweet cherry trees for snacks all summer.
Here is what I have learned, women are not at all interested in any of the work that you do to produce your own veggies and herbs. They are however very interested in picking some veggies for dinner... I swear, it's like something primitive in them kicks in. Natural foragers. Even girls that I don't know who are visiting only because they are with one of my buddies, I will ask them to go pick some peppers, and 100% of the time they light up. Last year I sent a girl out to pick me some kale and after she was gone too long I look out the window and she was posing by the plants taking snapchats.
If you have a girl overnight, it's pretty sweet too be able to offer her some pancakes with maple syrup that came straight out of your yard.
Oh lastly, I do not have that much property. I have about a quarter acre. You can be amazingly productive with your land if you try, and it's great for some physical work out in the sun.
[–]redpilledcuck 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Traveling, hiking, the outdors. Having lots of pictures and stories abroad certainly gives you a lot to talk about and raises your SMV.
[–]An_Actual_Politician 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
My two activities that really seem to excite women: kayaking and astronomy.
The key with kayaking is to own two boats so you can take them on paddling adventures. Easier than ever now with Lyft and Uber. Take one car, float some miles, take out, Uber back to the car, take the car back to the kayaks and you're on your way. Pack a picnic lunch and bottle of wine along the way as an excuse to ramp up kino.
Astronomy works really well for me because I own an observatory-grade computer controlled scope. So lots of bells and whistles to easily navigate the stars on the deck while the gas fire pit is going, again with some drinks nearby.
I'm also into competitive golf, but that doesn't move the needle much with women since every fat drunk fuck owns a set of clubs and uses them to get away from their wives. Doesn't matter, I'm doing it anyway.
But more than anything pick hobbies that you truly enjoy, not just things to do that you think will attract women. Those faux interests will quickly wane and you'll be back to square one.
[–]forwhitedove 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Focusing on your life mission, being the best human being you can be, and not getting caught up in all this red pill stuff.
[–]DiggerClam 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Holy fuck. I have so much to do - I'm still trying to get my life on track and I'm just about to turn 35.
[–]seekere 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (6 children)
why don't you do something you enjoy? not every aspect of your life has to be about "increasing" your fucking sexual market value lol. Get big, eat clean, and do what you enjoy. Jesus
[–]jpmthrowaway98[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (5 children)
I wouldn’t be posting this if I had something I was happy to sink my time into. As a whole I’ve been pretty unsatisfied & passionless lately so I figured I’d ask to try and find new hobbies that serve a practical purpose too
[–]seekere 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (3 children)
not everything in your life has to serve a "practical purpose." if you are passionless and are expering anhedonia, there may be some other issue there that is psychological (which is totally fine). the fact that you are even posting asking for SMV raising activites on Reddit should signal to yourself that you need a pivot in your mindset (imo). do you work? are you in school?
[–]jpmthrowaway98[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (2 children)
I’ve never heard the term anhedonia, but that seems to be pretty accurate in terms of how I feel. I’m currently seeing a psychologist about it too & yes I am. I have two jobs that keep me pretty busy & school is pretty much done for the year. My social life is decent as well
[–]seekere 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago (1 child)
Anhedonia is a symptom of a few psychopathologies including major depressive disorder. I’m really sorry that you aren’t feeling your peak but it gets better. You’ve been taking the most important and hardest step which is admitting you have a issue and getting help. Make sure you like your therapist and you are being honest... I think that your biggest problem is that you feel totally disinterested and need to go online (especially on this subreddit) for strangers to give you advice. maybe talk about potential hobbies with your psychologist, and stop worrying so much about SMV assuming you are lifting, eating healthy, grooming, and have a decent wardrobe. best of luck soldier
That all sounds about right & I definitely like my psychologist & have been using them to solve issues with myself I’ve been having but I’ll get to picking out a good hobby. Thanks for letting me know about anhedonia; it seems like that’s my problem. Thanks for the wishes
[–]1273518ahh 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Don't look for your passion let it find you.
[–]_flashpoint 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I love anything outdoors. I’m a big rock climber and I try to get out in my kayak as much as I can. Hiking and photography (nothing serious) are also good ways to be active and get outside.
[–]blister333 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
A lot of great suggestions in this thread. In the past few years I’ve started/taken an interest in: yoga, photography, hiking, travel, learning a language (school), volunteering, reading more often, probably going to learn piano in the next year. I’m also looking to slowly incorporate new things into the rotation. Things tend to come and go ime
[–]Trp2166 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Get into music, read books, play sports, go to clubs or festivals, watch documentaries etc literally anything that makes you a more rounded and interesting person.
But really, do whatever interests you and assuming it isn’t anything weird or creepy people will be interested to hear about it if you talk passionately.
[–]kylerosa21 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (2 children)
I’ll try to make a post today on a list of hobbies and activities you can do on the main sub.
[–]jpmthrowaway98[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (1 child)
Thanks! It’ll definitely be a help to me and hopefully a bunch of others on the main sub
[–]kylerosa21 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Got end of classes today and then finals coming up so not sure if i can get it up soon
[–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I do boxing cause of leg injuries, but any martial arts related would be decent. Or something that keeps you fit like rollerblading or biking or some shit. Or something that you can make money off of on the side
[–]2gunsgetsome 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
It's been said, but learn a musical instrument. Don't forget to learn how to sing. Also, shredding in your bedroom won't wet any panties. You need to perform in front of people and be relaxed and charismatic while doing it.
I'll also second the dancing suggestion. Latin is good, but if you don't like that, check out country (Texas two-step). It's fun to move your body, chicks like it when you lead, and lots of places in cities have lessons for both at bars. Instant kino with built-in plausible deniability.
[–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Socializing really. Thats about it. Everything else I do simply because I enjoy it. I like socializing from time to time as well, but I'm mostly an introvert.
[–]Greek-God-Brody 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
Read good books.
[–]GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (2 children)
Get a puppy, they have too much energy for you to relax haha.
I lift in the mornings and walk about 6-8 miles before dinner/bedtime.
Also easy way to get girls a reason to come over ;)
[–]jpmthrowaway98[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (1 child)
I’m definitely looking into a puppy, but unfortunately I’m still a 19 year old who lives at home & is bound financially, so it’ll take some convincing to end up getting a dog
[–]GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (0 children)
fair enough. You don't want to rush into something like that.
What I did and what I recommend is think of what hobbies/activities you enjoy doing. And then come up how you could make money from that, start a business.
From my experience girls think its pretty impressive if you have a business and can see that you enjoying doing that. Passion about something will melt any girl.
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
Voice training. Socialising more, get a friend network.