LTR verbally expressed to me that she wants to fuck me as often as I want so I never have eyes for anyone else ( LOL) (self.asktrp)

submitted by csawyer86

So after a good fuck session a couple nights ago my girlfriend told me she was feeling muscles on me she hasn’t felt before and it was so hot. Then she mentioned catching me looking at another girl when we were at a BBQ . She’s right, I was but I kind of just listened to her and ignored it. I didn’t admit it or deny it. Then after that she said she wants to fuck me as much as I want to make sure I don’t have eyes for anyone else. Is this TRP at work or is this an attempt to control me with sex because she thinks my SMV is starting to rise ?

[–][deleted] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

You implemented dread and she got competition anxiety.

Rinse & repeat.

[–]FearGarbhArMait 91 points92 points  (0 children)

You implimented mild dread by accident and got a strong response. Yes she wants to control you by using sex. No it's not your SMV rising and you should contiue with what you are doing.

[–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion 69 points70 points  (4 children)

This is good behaviour, reward her. Continue doing what you're doing.

Also, it won't last forever... so while it does... ,My friend, you have just entered an all you can fuck buffet.

Tell her this.

And let the games begin.

[–]csawyer86[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What are some good ways to reward her for this behavior ?

[–]lastdumra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First test her. Fuck her in some way that you have been wishing but she denied or you did not asked before.

[–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What are some good ways to reward her for this behavior ?

By being pleased.

She is doing this to make you happy, so give her your happiness.

Beyond that, you can give her your attention. You can fuck her with love and passion. You can do something fun together. You know her best. Get creative. May I recommend the book "The Way of The Superior Man" by David Deida?

[–]hatefulreason 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are you sure telling her is the hassle-free option ? :)

[–]throwitdownman 21 points22 points  (19 children)

Just know that she has said, and will say this to other people.

The harder they love, the quicker they turn. You’d be surprised.

What’s the cause, nobody knows for sure. It could be dread/TRP, or it could just be right place right time. All you can do is ride it out, enjoy it, and don’t overthink.

[–]griz3lda 9 points10 points  (18 children)


[–]bigkids 0 points1 point  (2 children)


[–]TrumpleStiltskon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It means borderline personality disorder. Implying shes crazy, which may or may not be the case.

[–]bigkids 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, just Googled it: Borderline Personality Disorder


[–]VolatileEnemy 0 points1 point  (14 children)

Not necessarily. Every woman has a minor form of BPD just like every man has a minor form of autism.

They're all kind of in a spectrum of some kind or another. Where it becomes a disorder is when they are a danger to you or others.

[–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (13 children)

No, it becomes a disorder when it meets the criteria (and is a functional impairment or you wouldn't be getting the eval). I'm perhaps biased bc I /am/ stereotype-level autistic with a yes-actually BPD ltr. No, not every girl has mild bpd, but I do see bpd as an exaggeratedly feminine set of qualities, probably bc so many of them are media icons of femininity.

I don't truly know if OP's gf had bpd or not and am being someone facetious by replying a one-word answer about a serious topic/label, but that is not normal sexual behavior for a female, dread or not. Most women wouldn't have the libido, wouldn't have the dissociative powers to do it without the libido, and wouldn't have the frankness to evaluate the situation and make a flat-out offer.

Person who said "implying that she's crazy"--- BZZZT! A big buzzer to you. Just cause you don't like pistachio doesn't mean I use the word as slang for "gross". It's just a flavor.

[–]VolatileEnemy 2 points3 points  (12 children)

when it meets the criteria

The criteria is usually dependent upon whether it is causing damage to their life or to lives around them. This is also why diagnosis is hard, because BPDs lie and refuse to admit the harm they cause.

No, not every girl has mild bpd,

When I say mild, I don't mean a disorder in the mild sense. I mean elements of BPD could be noticed in some of the things they do. Being BPD is like being a very extreme "girl" talkative, emotional, empathic, deceptive, mood changes, being autistic is like being an extreme "guy" who is stoic, uncaring, unempathic, non-talkative.

So yes, every women has a teeny tiny bit of BPD because BPD is just an exaggeration of being feminine.

Same with ASPD, just an exaggerated version of being masculine.

but that is not normal sexual behavior for a female, dread or not

That she says she doesn't want you looking at other girls? What girl hasn't said this sort of thing in a relationship?

frankness to evaluate the situation and make a flat-out offer.

I don't think so.

No one can say whether it was normal or not based on one interaction. All disorders are repetitions of certain patterns of behavior.

Jealousy as exhibited by OP's girl = normal.

[–]griz3lda 1 point2 points  (6 children)

I'll concede the traits thing though.

[–]VolatileEnemy 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Look at my comment history, I just replied to another post on here. NOW THAT is BPD women that guy is dealing with. Look at his post.

[–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (4 children)

honestly dude, that post sounds waaay more like OP had bpd himself. it's not just a chick thing (looks way diff on guys). anyone who thinks he has legions of women he barely knows out focused to destroy him clearly is suffering substantial emotional impact from what is likely to be not that much work from a bunch of randos.

[–]VolatileEnemy 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Yeah it's possible, but it's also possible he met two recent women who are psychopaths.

[–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (2 children)

possible. post sounded like way more than 2. but maybe something about him attracts them, who knows

[–]griz3lda -1 points0 points  (4 children)

BPDs lie etc etc

Haven't found that to be the case personally. Have seen a LOT of butthurt white knights talking shit on the internet though. They're like little kids, 99% of the time if you handle your shit you can handle them.

[–]VolatileEnemy 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Most BPDs are extremely manipulative and liars. They have short-fused mood changes. They can be quite sweet, caring, and empathic sometimes too (goes from the nicest motherly person to the worst psychopath and vice-versa). They're just an emotional rollercoaster and it feels like walking around landmines most of the time. Something might set her off. They can both hate and love with intense passion.

[–]griz3lda -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Yawn. They're manipulative like little kids are manipulative. They're hurting or needy or wanty or whatever, and dudes can't stand to see their lady cry so they do all kinds of dumb shit. Don't let your mood rely on headpats from your gf and it won't be so bad.

Here's a trick, friend. Next time a borderline pops off @ you about she hates you or you're worthless or whatever, reply literally as though she had just said it about herself w the I/you swapped (like I hate you = you hate me). I'm talking do not acknowledge what she just did say, and completely and totally pretend she just said it w the pronouns switched and that you both know this w no question. Respond accordingly. ("What?? I don't hate you!") She'll act extremely suspicious which is a sign of hopefulness. It'll pay off. You gotta interpret everything they do through a lens of psychotic-level abandonment fears. Johnny doesn't like the sandwiches I brought for the staff brunch, he hates me and is going to convince everyone else to hate me and I'll never be able to show my face again so I'll be out of a job and then I'll be worth nothing to anyone blah blah blah. So she defends herself with the vigorousness and terror of someone facing that threat to their livelihood. Seriously, the inner monologue is that bad. Keep telling yourself this and watch them act different when you behave in a way that accounts for that (no need to embarrass them by saying it outright though). Or, if they're of no interest to you, avoid, too much work!

You know who does piss me off tho, hybrid bpd/npd females. Now those are jerks, heh.

[–]VolatileEnemy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

hybrid bpd/npd females

Probably that's the kind I've mostly encountered. I remember them as very wonderful at times, and very destructive, mean-spirited, downright evil, and their threats very serious.

[–]griz3lda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe I've just never caused one to be desperate enough to make serious threats against me. I've had them hurt themselves or break my stuff (lol), but not attempt to defame me or harm me bodily. I've dated and hooked up w like a billion of them too. My ex was in the adult industry and we had an open relationship, so I eventually befriended and/or fucked several of her work friends and a LOT of those chicks have BPD.

The manipulation etc tended to be from their psycho moms, who were invariably eager to butt in (yes obviously these girls were adults...) and highly insulted that someone would like their kid without a whole weird codependent/caretaker dynamic or pathologizing her. THOSE ladies are like what I hear about borderlines.

It's like... if you wanna see real evil, take what you THINK is evil and look at what made it that way.

[–]_the_shape_ 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Always remember to attach the "right now" after whatever a girl says, especially when she vomits up her emotions, meaning, this is subject to change at some point in the future.

This is not in any way an attempt to cast a shadow on the feast headed your way, but to 1) put things in proper perspective and remind you of the fickleness of women 2) prepare you for the worst case scenario (remember, "she's not your's; only your turn") despite there being zero indication of it being there or headed in that direction 3) keep your foot on the gas (ex. continue getting chiseled/ developing your frame/ achieving your goals)

[–]csawyer86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure man. To address your points, I always keep it in the back of my mind that she can change her mind in the blink of an eye. My mentality is never going to be like I NEED her. And as far as keeping my foot on the gas, no doubt. I’m staying the course in the gym and at work.

[–]smolzino 28 points29 points  (1 child)

It's a good thing. Your gf should know that if she doesn't satisfy you, you will seek it out somewhere else. She will then make sure that you leave the house with your balls empty. It also means that she thinks that you are easily able to get pussy. My girlfriend sometimes tells me that X or Y girl is attracted to me when there are no signs, just because her perceived value of me is so high that she thinks any girl should be attracted. This is the beginning of that. Keep it up.

Men that don't trigger that kind of response eventually end up in dead bedrooms.

Edit: However I would advise against having sex with her whenever you want if you feel like she's just doing it to not disappoint you or to satisfy you. I took advantage of this for a while and it leads to an overall decrease in quality of sex. So respect her libido and use this to have sex more often if you want but don't try to turn her into a masturbating object.

[–]bigkids 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Full belly, balls empty

[–]Musicgoon 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's dread buddy.. Ride it out. She's all about you.. She definitly thinks you're a catch.

[–]mrpoopistan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is this TRP at work or is this an attempt to control me with sex because she thinks my SMV is starting to rise ?


This is a serious "why not both?" case study.

FTR, there's not much tweaking to do at this point. If you had played dread game past the breaking point, she'd be freaking out and/or seeking comfort. Pretty much you have her dialed in top-dead-center perfect.

[–]Nergaal 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]mugenowns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a bit of both. But are you really complaining? It's like Gambit from X-Men, the mind control doesn't work as long as you know it's there.

Now just start sublty training her to do other things. "A man who is well fed and well fucked is too content in his slumber to look for other women" it's a good mindset for her to have. There are lots of women who will fuck you all day and night, make sure she steps her game up

[–]mushroom_overlord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you, really.

Is this TRP at work


or is this an attempt to control me with sex because she thinks my SMV is starting to rise ?

Why not both? She does want to keep you around with sex, which is TRP principles at work really; Alpha Fucks. She doesn't want to pull your SMV down, if I'm reading it correctly, but rather notices she has to be available to you if she doesn't want to lose you. Then again, women constantly test if you can get pulled down, they just hope you are stronger than that, so don't let your guard down.

Carry on. If she starts to freak out because your SMV is too high and becomes too much to handle, that's when you go out the door.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then after that she said she wants to fuck me as much as I want to make sure I don’t have eyes for anyone else. Is this TRP at work or is this an attempt to control me with sex because she thinks my SMV is starting to rise ?

All the above, but it's fine and natural and good.

It's not "TRP at work", it's the reality of how women are. And it's as good as it gets: she wants you because other women want you and you're hot and she has competition anxiety / eroticism.


[–]magx01 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

This post translated: "Hey guys I have a little muscle now and I am having sex. Just want to brag!...Oh shit gotta dress this up as a question...."

[–]csawyer86[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

someone’s having a shitty morning

[–]magx01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are? Any way I can help?