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Favorite plate broke down crying after sex (self.asktrp)

submitted by newflame97

She had been a bit distant lately. Usually always hits me up once a week to come over.

She went 3 weeks without contacting me to hangout. So when she did come over, the sex was insanely good. She was really passionate, and eager to please.

Then afterwards we're sitting around cuddling and she breaks down crying super hard. I put my arm around her and asked her what's going on.

She says shes super stressed because her best friend just tried to commit suicide, her boyfriend is long distance, and she's having a hard time keeping it together because her internship has her working 55-60 hour weeks.

I'm unsure of how to handle this, so I go quiet for a few seconds and she immediately starts apologizing for her behavior.

I literally don't know what to do at this point. So I just said "really sorry to hear that" and kiss her on the forehead.

We end up cuddling for another 10 minutes and then I got up and called an uber for her.

What should I do with her now?


[–]RedLegendx 162 points163 points  (3 children)

Like nothing ever happened, you’re not her boyfriend. You handled it flawlessly.

[–]rustymirror 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 18 points19 points  (1 child)

You handled it flawlessly

He was the safe harbor that withstood her emotional storm. You can't handle that any better.

[–]OfficerWade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Indeed, you’re her rock. If she can’t wash the waves over you then you might as well sink. You did good, mate.

[–]NameUser18 156 points157 points  (18 children)

Lol she’s crying because her boyfriend is long distance?

Not like, because she’s cheating on him?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 114 points115 points  (3 children)

No Hamster left behind!

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 34 points35 points  (2 children)

It requires a gigantic amount of rationalization to be able to tell your lover after fucking that you are stressed because you miss your long-distance "boyfriend". That hamster is a world-class athlete.

[–]Zahlix 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I would love to see a compiled list of all hamster jokes. Over the last years they evolved tremendously from the concept of the hamster to comments like

"we are about to witness the first hamster setting up a colony on mars"

[–]Aarxnw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They exist in their own fantastical universe

[–]cirrusice 60 points61 points  (11 children)

Shit like this is preventing me from leaving anger phase lol. At least acknowledge the fact that you're a slut right?

[–]1morescoobysnacks 36 points37 points  (5 children)

"Long distance relationship" means he's her txting buddy and possibly touched her titty once.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Exactly, if you're keeping a long distance relationship going you're a fool and sympathy for fools only goes so far.

[–]IncognitoMaster91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Probably just one titty.

[–]Tousen71 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Agreed. LTRs are just validation. I can’t imagine anyone takes them truly seriously.

[–]shubhidoobi 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You mean LDR or LTR?

[–]Yeralt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess l

[–]flapjacksrbetter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People dont like to criticize themselves

[–]zboo1h 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's entirely his fault for entering into such a bullshit contract. Hopefully homie's getting his own side.

[–]Tousen71 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I know bro. My mind keeps reeling back to, “damn these hoes ain’t SHIT.”

[–]czatara 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks!”

[–]Morphs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to anger when you're not committed. Stuff like this reminds me that plates/FwBs are much better than LTRs.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Long-distance relationship is not a relationship so technically, she has no boyfriend. It's just that the poor guy doesn't know.

[–]flapjacksrbetter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha

[–]jay_jay_man 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Continue being the alpha rock you are and fucking her brains out. Alpha dick is a natural stress-reliever for plates.

As for her problems, they are that, her problems. Let her deal with them. If she brings them up again, don't encourage the conversation. Go silent, switch topics, and move on. You don't want her to take you for an emotional tampon.

[–]2CainPrice 30 points31 points  (0 children)

You did perfectly. You acknowledged her feelings, indicated understanding of them, but didn't try to fix them.

You're not her boyfriend, and if you started acting like one, you'd be breaking the casual relationship rules. Frankly, you'd be making things harder on her. She already has a boyfriend. You're there for fun, sex, and attention. Acting like you're there for something more would just confuse her.

Keep an eye out to make sure she's not letting herself develop feelings, but go on with business as usual.

[–]Zanford 26 points27 points  (0 children)

beta bait. LOL at her crying to her 'other guy' about her distance boyfriend. World's smallest violin.

You did well. Understated, perfunctory sympathy. Don't bring it up again, act like it never happened.

[–]heyuguyzbrekfazt 19 points20 points  (0 children)

If she is strictly a plate, then you don't do shit all dude. You're in it for the sex and that's it. If you're FWB or GF/BF, that's when you start to act like you care and comfort her.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm unsure of how to handle this

NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

I don't mean to be unkind here, but she's a FWB. Don't take on her problems. Beyond listening to her a bit (not too long!), don't try and help her too much or fix her life, you'll be beta-bucks security-blanket before you know it (with no sex and cheating on you with a guy like you are now).

and she immediately starts apologizing for her behavior.

This is good.

I literally don't know what to do at this point. So I just said "really sorry to hear that" and kiss her on the forehead.

This is good too.

What should I do with her now?

Carry on as usual.

Look, every girl has problems. Every person has problems.

She's got a lot of hours (probably doesn't work too hard) doing what she's chosen to do.

Her boyfriend who she chose and is cheating on is long distance by her choice.

The suicidal friend sucks, but if that friend is female it's most probably a needy cry for attention rather than a real suicide attempt (this is statistically true for women). A friend she chose. Sucks, but that's life.

Don't get sucked into her problems - she'll just dump them on you and won't appreciate it.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What should I do with her now?

Same as before.

You are not the emotional support guy, you are the sex guy.

[–]Retstortion 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Use tears as lube

[–]Endorsed ContributorFeralRed 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You displayed excellent plate management skills. A touch of comfort but no burden shouldering.

Act like it never happened.

But why aren't you hitting her up to fuck?

[–]newflame97[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm working 50 hours a week Web Developing and between lifting and BJJ and my other hobbies, I don't have the ability or energy to contact her and make shit fit with both of our schedules.

So when she wants to come, she can hit me up and if I'm free and at home that day, then it's a go.

[–]seedster5 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Boyfriend?!??! What the actual fuck.

[–]general_landur 17 points18 points  (2 children)

You must be new here.

[–]seedster5 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No, just never seen a plate openly admit it

[–]oyoungpadawan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeaahhhh you're in for a ride my friend. You'll be suprised the things they tell you once they know you're openminded and non-judgy/dgaf.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Your answer would have been flawless even if you were married. Acknowledge her feelings and move on. Don't fix.

[–]newflame97[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you were married wouldn't there be some level of comfort game you would be running?

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That was comfort game.

[–]friendandadvisor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anal.

[–]NameUser18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t really care either tbf. I dunno why I’m arguing about it lmao. Basically both parties are cunts but obviously the cheating party is more of a cunt.

[–]redisthetruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

everyone has emotions. there's nothing you can do. just relax and don't say too much. everyone's lives are filled with suffering. there's nothing much we can do except listen if we feel called to.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[removed]

[–]RaughKee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She'd be out banging the next Alpha dude, totally not his problem. This isn't a morality sub this is a sexual strategy sub and OP's doing it right.

[–]ZeroSixNiner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Admit it. Some Chad fucked your girl while you were at home jacking it to Fortnight, amirite?

[–]friendandadvisor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We aren't trying to make women and men equal. We are trying to maximize sexual strategy. FOR MEN. MEN. MEN. This isn't a suffrage meeting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ldr doesn't even count as cheating lol

[–]throwaway642455 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Who‘s complaining about women not understanding honour? Maybe some butthurt incels who pretend to be TRP, but most redpillers just acknowledge that 80% of people don’t care about honour when they get an opportunity to fuck.

And of course we don’t owe that guy anything. We don’t even know him. Probably his fault for getting in a relationship with that girl, and it’s not like she wouldn’t eventually let herself get fucked by someone else if we don’t do it.

If you think fucking a stranger‘s girl is immoral, that’s your opinion, and I respect if you really stick to it and don’t fuck any girls in a relationship

[–]Saberinbed 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If you aint fucking her, the dude next door will. Shes not yours, its just your turn. Take it or go home and jack off to her pics while she gets fucked by the dude next door.

[–]oyoungpadawan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah cheaters will cheat, better it's you then some other dude.

[–]wobbleelbbow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well leave her be for a while.

[–]CocaineOnYourClit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Search "Tears" by Whisper on the main sub

[–]opper-hombre1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhhh, had me at the “long distance. Lol AWALT

[–]2comment 0 points1 point  (2 children)

and she's having a hard time keeping it together because her internship has her working 55-60 hour weeks.

Off-topic but I hope she's getting paid for that bullshit.

[–]newflame97[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

LOL are you saying she's lying or saying that she better not be working for free?

[–]2comment 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idk if it's an unpaid internship or not, but if it is that's modern day slavery esp with those number of hours.

[–]not-trp-questions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where's that post on the main sub about when she complains about something, it talks about just picking her up (physicality) and responding by being exciting and focusing on having fun?

I keep searching for it every once in a while but can never find it. Should this just be an asktrp?

[–]BuckNekkid18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep doing exactly what you're doing. Keep fucking her since it's not your problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if I can link it but look up the TRP post "tears" by whisper I believe

[–]Tousen71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LDR*

[–]JustChopItOff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would saying something like this be good:

"I find its important to relieve stress to handle life challenges... healthy eating, exercise, and good sex"

[–]NameUser18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s kinda ridiculous tbh. One second we’re complaining women don’t understand honour and the next we’re saying it’s fine to fuck someone else’s girlfriend.

That’s not honourable either really, is it?

We rationalise it saying “we don’t owe that guy anything”, but with that in mind how are you any better? There’s plenty of single girls out there. These guys doing this shit are just as bad.

[–]NameUser18 -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

It’s 100% immoral. But likewise it’s also 100% immoral on the girls side too. Both parties are in the wrong.

No reason at all to fuck someone else’s girlfriend or wife. Plenty of single girls out there. Unless you’re that starved.

If guys didn’t engage in this bullshit then the girls wouldn’t be able to cheat. You can’t complain how girls aren’t worthy or an ltr or marriage if you’re the one contributing to them cheating.

[–]Khiv_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn't the morality subreddit.

[–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Some girls are in a ltr forever, how do you think this happens hmmmm. She's fucking the next one while with the previous one.

Try some "single girls" almost all of them have multiple strings attached, abusive exes, first loves that they can't get over etc...

They just label things differently.

Also most girls don't even tell you that they have a bf, once you know it's too late.

[–]NameUser18 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Exactly. That’s why we should be better if we’re really going for self improvement here. Think about it - is the best version of you relying on taken girls?

But yes. If you don’t know until afterwards that’s obviously different.

I’m just saying I know the best version of myself doesn’t need to sleep with someone else’s girlfriend. Why create more misery for other guys?

If you want to, go ahead. I just don’t see the point. Pussy is pussy. Why not have standards about it?

[–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

No one should rely on taken girls. I agree you shouldn't actively pursue clearly taken girls.

But who are you to say no if some taken girl wants you, there is obviously something wrong in her relationship if she wants to cheat, if not you she'll take someone else.

Ofcourse if I even know 1 mutual person I'd never do it.

"Why create more misery for other guys?"

You'll always create misery for someone even if you fuck a single girl there are always a bunch of other guys fucking her or pining over her that'll be hurt.

Just as we have been hurt, I'm not saying this in a revenge kinda way, it just is what it is. In the end it's about a connection between two people. Be it between her and him or between you and her.

If you want to fuck her and she wants to fuck you, but say you don't do it because she has a bf (you assume it's a good relationship but it isn't else she wouldn't try and cheat).

Then you hurt her instead of him. We are not here to save other people, put yourself first, he's not your friend and he probably wouldn't do the same for you either.

[–]NameUser18 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’d rather hurt a cheater than some guy who’s done nothing to me. Like I say, if you want to bang a taken girl, feel free. Hell if I’m drunk enough and she’s hot enough then I might. Usually though, I think it’s good to have your own moral code.

“If not you then it’ll be someone else” Fine. Let it be someone else. I’ll go bang a single girl instead.

That’s just me though.

[–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd rather not either! Just playing devil's advocate ;)

My point is no one wants to bang a "taken" girl, 9/10 you'll never know if she has a bf or not.

Just as many girls say they have a bf as first line of defense while it's not even true.

If she doesn't even tell people is she really "taken"? The truly taken ones you don't have a chance with and they don't go out hunting for dick.

[–]Iron_and_Glass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who the fuck cares. Shit like this is listed as bannable if you read the side bar. Your concern should be yourself, improving male sexual strategy and building power, and thats it.

We aren't here to have a pity party for whoever her boyfriend is for being such a fuck up that they'd LTR a hoe. Op can bang who he wants and good on him for doing so.

[–]minoc_uo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

50+ hour/week intership is bullshit. I work at a fortune 500. Our interns are there to learn in a relaxed environment.

[–]NameUser18 -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

I’m just replying to your comment - what do I need to learn exactly?

And like I say, it’s not first hand butthurt, it’s just obvious basic human decency. Are you really that desperate for pussy you need to fuck someone’s girlfriend? Nothing alpha or red pill about that. Screams scarcity to me.

[–]ZeroSixNiner 3 points4 points  (1 child)

No, I don't go looking for taken girls, but if I approach and attract a girl who I have no idea has a boyfriend, husband, or other, and we hit it off, I'm only going to assume she wants it. I don't go out looking to break up relationships; if anything, it's the girls who become attracted and who act on that attraction. It's not my job to keep her relationship intact. It's her's.

Besides, hypergamy goes both ways. Sometimes she swings away from you to another branch, and sometimes you get to be the branch.

[–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This, it's her job to tell you if she has a bf, if I go asking her she might say yes even if she doesn't have one.

No point in stabbing myself in the foot.

You don't know what their 'relationship' is, might be a 6 month sexless one, long over or other issues.

[–]bowhunter6 1 point2 points  (1 child)

GTFO with your moralizing. This is not the place for that.

[–]NameUser18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing to do with moralising. It’s just obvious that there’s no need to bang someone’s gf unless your operating on scarcity. “Because I can” isn’t red pill.

[–]NameUser18 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Just because some other dude would do something doesn’t mean you should. It’s like talking to 4 year olds here sometimes.

[–]NameUser18 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m just replying to your comment - what do I need to learn exactly?

And like I say, it’s not first hand butthurt, it’s just obvious basic human decency. Are you really that desperate for pussy you need to fuck someone’s girlfriend? Nothing alpha or red pill about that.

[–]NameUser18 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Actually I’ve never had a gf, only ONS and FWBs, nor have I ever played fortnite... try again.

[–]ZeroSixNiner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, you're awfully damned butthurt over clear redpill truths. The kind of butthurt that could only come from experience as the cheated on boyfriend. It's pretty obvious. You're taking this way too personally.

Also, learn to use Reddit.

[–]NameUser18 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just revisited the main thread. No idea why it’s posting my replies as new comments when I’m pressing the reply button - my bad.

[–]usernameishardtomake -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think what everyone is saying is great, but how about making her laugh? Like don't try too hard to make her laugh but something light to make her feel ok while she's with you. Idk if this is a bad idea or not