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Fiance Had Sex with Half a Football Team (self.asktrp)

submitted by confusedthrowaway_22

Throwaway account. Was going to post in "sex" or "relationships" but I knew exactly what the responses would be. I need some perspective and straight answers. So I dropped this here. Sorry for not knowing the lingo or acronyms of this group.

So I've been with my gf for 2 years now. I've never, in all my years, been someone the least bit interested in marriage. I lived a rich bachelor life for 12+ years with absolutely zero regrets. I was a former college athlete who always did well with the ladies but knew that happiness must be 100% self generated.

2 years ago I met my possible soon to be wife. She is a 10 in all respects. At the time I was working as an international trainer. I was invited to her company to deliver training to 60+ employees. I had done this dozens and dozens of times. Had a few hook-ups here and there but, by and large, tried my best to keep things professional.

When I met her all that went out the window. She was stunning, fit, personable yet incredibly feminine. We went out on a date and the feeling intensified to a degree I didn't know was possible. She didn't drink, she was unfathomably modest, she asked interesting, probing questions...the 4 hour date felt like 45 minutes.

When I got home I did some digging. All pictures on her social media were of her and girlfriends either shopping or running or doing some kind of volunteer work. Not one pic of her drinking or hanging off a guy or selfie in a bikini, nothing. There were literally no red flags. Not one.

We ended up meeting in California. Spent a full week together which led to us dating. Not too long after that she moved in with me and 5 months ago I proposed to her truly feeling, for the first time in my life, that I had snagged a girl that was my equal. Things have been great. I intentionally pushed for a small wedding for fear of post wedding shell shock, not to mention the price tag associated with a big, traditional wedding. She complied and things have been moving forward seamlessly. Oh and our sex life is fire and keeps getting better.

Last week we were at a medical clinic together. She wasn't feeling so hot so I agreed to accompany her. I was working on something and asked if I could use her phone to google something since I forgot mine at home. As she handed me her phone she was called in to see the doctor. I sat there looking up information when a facebook message popped up from some guy in her home town. The name rung a bell as someone she told me she dated in the past (almost immediately after dating I asked all about her past and checked n-count...everything was kosher).

I clicked the message and it was a long diatribe proclaiming his love to her. I scrolled back through their convo and noticed no mention of me.

I didn't say anything to her but for the remainder of the night I was preoccupied by that message. I tried to sleep but i couldn't. I grabbed her phone and sat down in the living room. During the 2 years together we have both kept our devices unlocked because neither of us are the suspicious types. But I jumped in feet first. I should mention that my fiancee is about 3 years out of college. She went to a huge state university famous, primarily, for their football program.

Anyways I looked through the conversation from that one guy and other than some curt answers at her end, there was nothing the least bit incriminating.

For whatever reason I decided to scroll through her fb messages which extended back to first year college. What I found made me almost yak. Message after message after message to football players talking about their hook-ups. Even some cold messages from her to other football players asking to hook-up. And every single one were black dudes.

I won't get into the details of the messages because they were pretty graphic but basically she was being passed around from player to player. Just from the overt descriptions within her FB messages, there were a confirmed 10 guys. She had told me when we started dating that her n-count was 8 total. I confronted her about the information I found. Now here is what is really fucking with me. I was all set to end it even though it really saddened me. I love her to death but lying to me plus the thought of all these athletes running through her was too much. BUT, unlike 99% of women in the world, she fessed up without throwing in my face the fact that I snooped through her facebook. She walked me through every message and explained it all to me. She was super studious growing up with the most suffocating, helicopter parents ever. It was her first time away from home and her college roommate, whom she told me all about previously, was a black girl who was all about hanging with the football players. Anyways, it started innocuously, going to parties with these alpha athletes who were pretty much celebrities in her college, dated one and then things snowballed.

I guess this is the dilemma. What degree of leeway can be given to a girl and her slut phase especially when she shows absolutely zero signs of damage? She is kind and sweet and sexy. She is ashamed of this phase of her life but not damaged by it -- if that makes any sense. She calmly, almost professionally, walked me through it. She told me what she did and her thought process behind it, as painful as it was to hear, without skirting or deflecting. And it got me wondering "how many girls have pasts like this but just simply never tell their sig other? They go to the grave with it. Maybe i'm actually fortunate to know the truth. I dunno...this whole thing is soooo confusing.

The white lies have been the difficult part to deal with but as she said to me, how can a girl work that into a conversation? There is never a good time to bring that up.

So i'm kina stuck here. My mind keeps jumping around unable to turn the page on this. I appreciate the way she handled the situation and I understand she was a freshman in college but, jesus christ, she got fucked by a group of guys, half of whom are in the NFL now. I've never been the insecure type but for the past week i've felt 2 inches tall.

Helpful perspectives would be appreciated here.


[–]blacwidonsfw 130 points131 points  (4 children)

I'm more concerned the fact dudes are messaging her and she's going along with it without mentioning she is engaged....

[–]Yer_a_wizard_Harry_ 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Fucking this

[–]Muddpup64 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Pretty obvious they're back up plans. Unless they're the religious type who doesn't believe in divorce, I find this very plausible.

Doesn't mean it's not fucked up.

[–]UndergroundRP 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If you have an attractive girlfriend who goes out in the world, she's going to get hit on. It will happen a lot. The first thing out of her mouth to other dudes should be something about her boyfriend/fiance. That goes for FB messages, phone calls, or anything else.

[–]-rubashov 95 points96 points  (6 children)

She is what you want her to be.

You want her to be the perfect unicorn - she's the perfect unicorn.

You want her to be rational and give you explanations - she'll give you the explanations you want to hear.

If you wanted her to be a slut - she'd be a slut. No questions asked.

No red flags in a girl is a red flag itself.

[–]pdtrading 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Honestly, I seriously love what you wrote. This is very meditatively true. What would you suggest though? How would a person go about this?

Do you just accept them for that and keep them as a plate?

[–]-rubashov 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I think the OP has en-counted a certain type of women. Chameleons if you wish.

They sense what you are looking for, adopt personalities and actions to fit.

Some of the most innocent good girls you'll meet are merely showing you what you want to see.

They are dangerous as their actions and mannerisms don't reflect their pasts.

Dealing with them? I really don't know, I'm not experienced enough, but Illimitable Man has more.

[–]redparadigm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Spot on.

I married one. She cheated twice. I've been with her for half a decade and still did not know who she was.

Run like hell and don't look back.

Likely borderline personality disorder, broken without hope.

[–]Muddpup64 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is fantastic

[–]-rubashov 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Further down the page, there is a term for girls like these. Lucifer's Daughters.

[–]Muddpup64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the term. I actually gave a similar definition (or comment) to this farther down the page myself. Glad to now have a label for it. Thanks

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 61 points62 points  (10 children)

She was slutty in college, then settled down. She lied to you.

"and then things snowballed." Dude, you're repeating the hamster here. What snowballed as the slut phase. Don't make it into anything that it's not.

I intentionally pushed for a small wedding

Do not marry her. She has lied to you. There will be more to follow (trickle truth). High n-count (and I promise you don't know it all yet) makes for a terrible wife. Marriage is a terrible terrible option for men, with literally zero upsides.

As regards dating her - sure, why not? So long as you've having red hot sex with her, she sees you as a great option. When she tries to convert you to beta bucks (sorry honey, all this wedding planning is making me tired) , it's time to bail.

[–]The__Tren__Train 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Precisely.

Op thinks this is where the story ends.. but this is just the beginning.

[–]TankerBuzz 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Is it even possible to find a women to marry with a low n-count if you are in your late 20s/early 30s? What is the max n-count you would marry? I really dont want to ever get married after come across TRP... but I didnt want that to happen. I would like to trust my partner 100% but feel I never will

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will never marry. Why would I want to pay a woman to leave me? That's all it is.... it's just offering her future cash and prizes and therefore motivation to leave me.

Even if she stays... I'm living under the shadow of her threatening to leave. It weakens my position. Which makes her less happy (women are at heart submissive to a stronger male). She gets security at my expense. No way José.

Women change when they marry you. Happy marriages are less than 15% of those that marry. That's a very expensive gamble, especially considering the higher odds and lower expense of not marrying.

Marriage is not the opting out of the SMP that most men crave it to be. You'd like to trust your partner 100%... but I promise you this: very few men and no women can be trusted 100%.

Did you hear in the news about that woman who in divorce didn't go after the guy for any money, agreed equal custody of the children, and behaved amicably and decently? No.... neither did I... even in this pro-female misandristic society we live in, you never hear of women being fair in divorce. They simply can't be trusted with that much power.

DO NOT MARRY (This applies only to men. Women: go ahead and marry, it's a great deal, you can't lose!)

[–]long-lostfriend 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I married someone with a previous N of zero. Got to get them young, though. My wife was 20.

[–]TankerBuzz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Had one girl friend in the past with a N of zero but she was far to stupid for me... Trying to find smart, attractive, and low N-count is near impossible it seems. May I ask how old you where when you married her at 20? I do not know many girls keen to marry at 20

[–]long-lostfriend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't marry her until she was 25. I was 42 at the time. She's no HB 9 (I think an impartial observer would give her a 7), but it's more than a fair trade for someone kind and considerate, who had no desire to ride the carousel, and still loves to be fucked by the only cock she's ever taken.

[–]redreserve -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

What is an n-count.

[–]redreserve -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

?

[–]-rubashov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Read the sidebar, or use google

[–]le_king_falcon 45 points46 points  (0 children)

You'll never see her the same again. Simple as. And your broken frame would likely doom the relationship.

Also ignore the hamstering about her upbringing and the change to circumstances too. SHE CHOSE TO BE PASSED AROUND. And you have full evidence of her not just willingness but active engagement of these guys.

Fact is she might not be actively broken and might even be able to ignore the alpha widow effects or even the broken pair bonding. But that doesn't matter one iota.

Why wife up the college bike when you could marry someone who wasn't a slut?

Marriage is losing game for men. So why stack your odds even further against you by wifing up a slut. Past behaviour is almost always an indicator of future behaviour. She's been capable of it before so is capable of it again.

Overall just cut and fucking run, you've dodged a potential firing squad.

[–]InscrutablePUA 30 points31 points  (6 children)

The fact that she can so calmly and 'professionally' walk you through her past sluttiness tells me she has absolutely no shame about it whatsoever.

Honestly she sounds like a female psychopath in some ways - she presented an exterior that she knew would hook you and was careful to hide her past (not careful enough though). I get the feeling she's the type who could cheat with an absolutely straight face and no guilt whatsoever.

Even if you believe that's all in the past, like others have said, you will never see her the same way again and likely she won't have the same degree of sexual attraction for you that she did for those pre-NFL athletes.

[–]empatheticapathetic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The fact that she can so calmly and 'professionally' walk you through her past sluttiness tells me she has absolutely no shame about it whatsoever.

This

Don't be easy on her. If it has upset you then it has upset you. If she really wants you she'll try and get you back. YOU are the prize, not her.

[–]-rubashov 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I think the term "Black Widow" was bandied on the main sub for these types.

My memory isn't that strong on it however, could be mistaken.

[–]InscrutablePUA 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"Black Widow" sounds like a perfect descriptor

[–]-rubashov 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was wrong, Black Widow isn't correct. I think that what Illimitable Man describes as Lucifer's Daughter is better.

[–]MightyTaint 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. She sounds like a psychopath presenting him with exactly what he wants to see. When the monster finally comes out he will be absolutely destroyed, and married to it to boot.

[–]Momo_dollar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I thought. Her honesty is not honest, it came because she was caught and left with no other option. Look at all the behaviour the contradicts the honesty, 1) lying about her N count, OK that's understandable but 2) She is still talking to guys on Fb messenger who clearly want her and she hasnt mentioned you. Does her fb profile have a relationship status?

No disrespect to your game, but the smoothness of your love story does make it seem like she selected you. So you have to figure out how else she manipulated you, lied, put on a mask just for you to get to where she is with you

[–]NickCiufi 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Bracing myself for downvote oblivion, but here's the deal, bro:

  1. She's not marriage material. She's only ashamed of what she did because you don't agree with her choices and because you confronted her about it. Believing anything else is just agreeing with the hamster.

  2. With that said, very few women are actually marriage material, just because of how fucked divorce and custody laws are. If your only concern in life is having kids as soon as possible and you see any time that you spend with her as time that you're not meeting the right girl to have kids with, then move on. Otherwise...

  3. It's ok if you still spend time with her. Enjoy her company, live your life, and when she's gone, remember the good times. It gets said around here all the time, but she'll never be yours, it's just your turn. Have fun, DON'T FUCKING MARRY HER OR GET HER PREGNANT, and move on when it's not enjoyable for you anymore.

[–]PBRistasty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why would you brace yourself for downvotes? Stone truth is what you wrote.

[–]-rubashov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What you've said is correct.

Out of curiosity however why would you expect downvotes? There is a lot of bad advice going around asktrp of late yes, but the vast majority of it is downvoted and the good upvoted.

[–]InscrutablePUA 0 points1 point  (1 child)

very few women are actually marriage material, just because of how fucked divorce and custody laws are

No, very few women are marriage material because of how socially acceptable it is to be a slut.

[–]NickCiufi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meant "just" in the context of "if for no other reason than".

[–]SW9876 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

"Bracing myself for downvote oblivion"???? Wtf are you saying? This is straight RP sidebar shit. Did you really think this was going to get downvoted or are you trying to generate sympathy or something??? I don't even know.

[–]NickCiufi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I legitimately expected way more dissonance. In situations such as these, the general opinion seems to be "FUCK HER DUMP HER" without even considering other alternatives. Things have seemed more hostile than normal in the last month or two.

[–]1nyrp 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Her "honesty" now is manipulative as fuck. She's playing "open and honest" so you have exactly the reaction you're having, which is, "At least she's open and honest, I know I can trust her."

Why would you ignore what you JUST FUCKING LEARNED FROM HER ACTIONS.

She's a fucking liar and manipulator.

Buh-bye! Save yourself the agony and the wrestling with doubt. I've been there; it's a waste of a few extra months of hanging around... until the next big revelation comes... and she gets super honest and trustworthy opening up about the other thing she hid.

Fuck it dude. It's over. Done. Done.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

So I've been with my gf for 2 years now. I've never, in all my years, been someone the least bit interested in marriage. I lived a rich bachelor life for 12+ years with absolutely zero regrets.

You're at the age where women will be latching onto providers now that they've hit the wall and don't like their bargaining position in bars anymore. They try to latch these men into marriage so that the men cannot leave them without giving half his shit away, and btw equitable distribution in marriage is fucking deadly, and then when he's roped in, they show their true colors.

She is a 10 in all respects.

Are you kidding me? NOBODY is a 10 in all respects. I thought my first girlfriend was a 10 in all respects. I couldn't imagine others didn't see it. Years after we broke up, I looked at her old photos. She was nothing special even then; I was just in love. Take your girlfriend goggles off. If you're still in the (albeit longlasting) honeymoon phase then you do not know this person NEARLY as well as you think you do.

Oh and our sex life is fire and keeps getting better.

Yeah... that's with ALL aging women because they know that if you dump them, they're older and less attractive than ever with no provider. It ends when you get married because you throw away all your leverage. Leverage=attraction.

I clicked the message and it was a long diatribe proclaiming his love to her. I scrolled back through their convo and noticed no mention of me.

I didn't say anything to her but for the remainder of the night I was preoccupied by that message. I tried to sleep but i couldn't. I grabbed her phone and sat down in the living room. During the 2 years together we have both kept our devices unlocked because neither of us are the suspicious types. But I jumped in feet first. I should mention that my fiancee is about 3 years out of college.

For whatever reason I decided to scroll through her fb messages which extended back to first year college. What I found made me almost yak. Message after message after message to football players talking about their hook-ups. Even some cold messages from her to other football players asking to hook-up.

Oh look, cracks in her persona! Look, why didn't she tell you? She was literally hiding shit from you. Why wouldn't you think she's hiding more??? If she was perfect, wouldn't she be honest? OP, you're dating a fucking liar! What else is she hiding? Who the fuck is this woman?

BUT, unlike 99% of women in the world, she fessed up without throwing in my face the fact that I snooped through her facebook. She walked me through every message and explained it all to me. She was super studious growing up with the most suffocating, helicopter parents ever. It was her first time away from home and her college roommate, whom she told me all about previously, was a black girl who was all about hanging with the football players. Anyways, it started innocuously, going to parties with these alpha athletes who were pretty much celebrities in her college, dated one and then things snowballed.

Oh my goodness OP. This is a damage control technique. She knows that you saw what you saw and thought it was more strategically sound to control how you interpret and handle the information than to deny that you read what you read. This is a STRATEGY. There is NOTHING good, admirable, or noble about it. It was her best bet and she knew it.

I guess this is the dilemma. What degree of leeway can be given to a girl and her slut phase especially when she shows absolutely zero signs of damage?

No, OP. This is not a dilemma. This is fucking obvious. You're dating a woman who's putting on a show, is deceptive and strategic, and is a whore. Think back to the women you fucked as an athlete. Do you think NONE of them would be capable of pulling off this ruse? You're girlfriend is one of the ones who (almost) could. She's nothing more than that.

[–]wehadtosaydickety 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I dumped a girl for a lot less than this, but something similar. It was just one guy but she'd found him on Facebook while in an LTR. Straight up going for sex with a minor celebrity via Facebook is very worrisome.. Suddenly her Facebook activity has slutty undertones, her interest in football or music or whatever she fucked has slutty undertones, it creates a lot of problems that you may never move past. I mean will you be able to handle seeing college football on TV with her around?

Edit: to expand a bit, it's worrisome because it's so easy for girls to do this and once they find the 'key' why wouldn't they continue? If you could fuck Taylor Swift when she came to town, wouldn't that be exciting? Wouldn't you want to try again? In my case it also tied into her identity (she tied her identity around a type of music), in your case it's more about the volume.

[–]fakefalse 6 points7 points  (1 child)

PTSD flashes. I'm not being funny. It's a poison.

[–]thisiskindofmessedup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup. That shit is not to be fucked with. It will fuck up your frame in the best of moments and it's hard to climb out.

Best to just step away from this situation because it's really easy to dwell on something like this for a long long time.

[–]hamsterbator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yup. he will never be the same again. every time someone talks fantasy football he will see a train of black guys taking turns on his girl.

[–]Atavisionary 33 points34 points  (13 children)

A white girl (or any girl, other than black, for that matter) that gets or has gotten with black guys..... That is a big red flag to me and would be enough to relegate her to plate status. It isn't PC to say this, but black culture is pretty stupid, low brow, violent, selfish, etc. A girl who decides to be into that is low quality. But not everyone feels that way so on to stats. These three links discuss data on premarital sex partner numbers and divorce risk. It only takes ONE previous sex partner to bring divorce risk from 20% to 50%, and it only gets worse after that.

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html

So more posts from the same guy:

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/03/sexual-history-divorce-risk-ii.html

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/08/more-promiscuity-data.html

The short of it is, she has plenty of partners before you and the probability you will be divorced and ultimately divorce raped is high. I won't tell you what you should do, but I will tell you the question you should ask yourself. Is the high probability of divorce really worth it? In my opinion no, the risk/reward ratio is awful, but do what you want.

As a side note, I also tried to figure out how male sexual history affected probability of divorce and my take away is that it probably does not. Probably because it is harder for men to cheat and sexual fidelity is not the top of list of what men bring into marriage anyway, unlike with women. This last link tries to explain why your feelings/instincts of insecurity are in this situation are completely justified. A promiscuous girl is likely to cuckold you, so millions of years of evolution are trying to tell you to run away now as fast as you can and don't invest in her.

[–]SmirkAddict 3 points4 points  (2 children)

It's hard to see red pill as a brotherhood for all men when comments like these always get the most upvotes.

[–]Atavisionary 0 points1 point  (1 child)

brotherhood for all men

Well, that was a delusional desire to begin with.

[–]SmirkAddict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps. But being adversarial and prejudice towards an entire group of men doesn't seem particularly helpful. Every man deserves the chance to be a brother. Not every black dude having sex with white girls is a thug or criminal. It's fascinating to me how a lot of guys can be into so many different things but then classify guys of other races to specific stereotypes.

[–]DreadLockedHaitian 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Because all Black people have the same culture....God you're ignorant.

[–]Atavisionary 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ya, well you know how people use the nawalt excuse which we all know is BS? Well, nabalt applies here. Enough of them are like that that the generalization is true more often than it isn't.

[–]DreadLockedHaitian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man, I'd love to sit here and debate with you but I really don't care to change your opinion.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (5 children)

A girl who decides to be into that is low quality

For you.

I'm an European gypsy - small town white girls love me. Good luck to the lucky white guy who will marry my current LTR. She is a high quality gal in every prospect - except when that lucky guy will learn a gypsy used to gape her asshole for years lol.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Oh somebody is salty ;)

    [–]Atavisionary -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

    Ya, we don't really have gypsies here so I am only vaguely familiar with them. As much as people complain, it is hard to imagine them being as bad as blacks.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Of course it's a different culture, but we don't have black people here - the social effect and dynamics are mostly similar.

    [–]Atavisionary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    but we don't have black people here

    With the way things are going in Europe, that might not be true for long. Be prepared to be a couple rungs above the bottom of status hierarchy ladder. I wonder how gypsies are going to fare with African blacks and middle eastern muslims rushing in. Hungary seems intent on preventing it more than most, but you never know. May you live in interesting times.

    [–]vvancruz 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Are you a cuckold into femdom? Maybe you can call those guys over to fuck her again and you can watch and help clean her up. Or, you could just leave. BTW, how does that black alpha cock taste? Get married and I'm sure you'll be tasting more.

    [–]ddy4sissy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This is what she's really looking for

    [–]JamesSkepp 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    There were literally no red flags. Not one. I asked all about her past and checked n-count...everything was kosher

    Aka The Unicorn.

    she got fucked by a group of guys, half of whom are in the NFL now.

    Aka AWALT.

    BTW:

    She is ashamed of this phase of her life

    That is why she keeps texting with the same guys.

    [–]fakefalse 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I figured it out after the fact. I knew it was bad, but i was so bluepill that i fell hard for her. Besides, she wad not like that anymore. Pffff.

    Now that I'm awake, I understand the pair bonding damage she has. I get sick to my stomach at times, for fucking myself over.

    You have the luxury of seeing this from a healthy mind before you get locked in. Don't blow it. You'll get no sympathy for me.

    Just imagine those images of her and the football team. Embrace how it twists your gut and soul. It's a poison

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    The advice you need to hear has already been said. I have just two things to say:

    If you haven't gotten anal yet, now's your chance.

    Beyond that: "Run, Forrest, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!"

    [–]revosfts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    God just reading the comments provided here make me so glad I found this sub.

    [–]jimmAo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    wake up, there is nothing even potentially good that will come from this.

    Tough life, but next her and move on.

    [–]2comment 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You're having oneitis over a slut. You put her on a pedastool and now that it's broke, you're rushing to fix the pedastool. But like Humpty Dumpty, it will never be altogether again - no matter how much glue and wooden supports you tack onto it, it will fail. And all this will bother you to the end of your days as long as you're with her.

    You got sold a bill of fake goods, my friend.

    [–]anti_erection_man 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh man you've fucked up big time. You will never see her the same and you will never be able to be the same around her.

    Thinking back to my past years, I thank my fucking lucky stars I discovered TRP before doing something like you just did.

    [–]Billee_Boyee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Do you have a big, black dick and the stamina of a pro footballer?

    Do you make more money than a pro footballer?

    Can you provide higher social status than a pro footballer?

    Can you kill other dudes with your bare hands like a pro footballer?

    If you answered no to any of these questions, you are done. Do not marry this woman.

    If you answered yes, be prepared to watch her 24/7 and be prepared to go Rambo on anyone who looks her way, as she is not going to say no, it'll be up to you.

    And remember, 'no matter how hot she is, somewhere, some dude is sick of her shit.'

    [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I couldn't trust a girl who's that good at damage control.

    [–]RPmatrix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Not one pic of her drinking or hanging off a guy or selfie in a bikini, nothing. There were literally no red flags. Not one.

    WRONG! There's red flags everywhere! What HB10 doesn't have at least a couple of photos of her partying?

    It's all about her projecting the image she wants others to think she's like ... which in itself is a lie by omission!

    It's what a great barrister does with a client with a shady history, never bring it up and stick to praising all the good stuff his client has done. Frighteningly simple and surprisingly effective. It's kept me out of prison and helped me avoid situations like the one you are in bro.

    I wonder how many photos were once there of her 'current social status'? It's clear she wasn't a nun!

    Here's where you dropped the ball

    5 months ago I proposed to her truly feeling, for the first time in my life, that I had snagged a girl that was my equal ....

    There's a great thread on TRP right now where an EC (Endorsed Contributor) is asking for forgiveness from his bros here, I suggest you read it and all the posts in it. You will come away enlightened and aware you are not alone here bro.

    Just like him, once you 'confessed you feelings', which is the equivalent of doing all her hamstering for her! and after that, she owned you and she knew it, SO ... She fucked Chad!

    I sat there looking up information when a facebook message popped up from some guy in her home town.

    I don't think anyone here wants to tell you what they have, but it's a harsh truth mate and if you fail to see it for what it IS, now, chances are you'll live to regret it.

    At least there's no children in the mix AND from what you say, you are in a comfortable fiscal position.

    She was super studious growing up with the most suffocating, helicopter parents ever!

    Yeah, and she's probably as BPD as fuck! in which case you're going to have a hugely traumatic time if/when you 'lay down the law' and she 'flips' on you and becomes a raging demon! I hope not but I'm not holding my breath!

    TL:DR: Mate, she's been playing you from day one, you never mention her age but I'd bet she's ticking like a time bomb as she approaches the dreaded 'wall' and (ffs marrying her) she's "secured you" and your 'confession' to her sealed the deal, in her eyes, and my guess is that's when she re-ignited her love of the BBC, while 'forgetting to tell you', after all, she's MARRIED to you now, she doesn't have to continue The Act anymore

    It's time to bail bro, I'd be searching for all the divorce related info you can find in TRP's main sub, there's much good advice for you if you choose to take it. You can lead a horse to water and all that!

    All the best bro, you're gonna need it.

    N.B. And TAKE 1000mgs of Magnesium supplements a day, it will help keep your mind physically calm as possible. Stress and anxiety deplete Mg severely, and a lack of it will let your stress hormones run rampant. Mitigate this with magnesium ... It 'works' in an hour or so, so you'll notice iit if you're stressed.

    [–]SlothOnRoids 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I personally couldn't continue to be with someone I know who was getting her pussy destroyed by top tier black alpha athletes..and I'm half black myself.

    [–]thefisherman1961 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    She lied to you about her n-count. What else has she lied about? You know what you need to do.

    [–]wont_tell_i_refuse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As people have said, things are always going to be different for you. End it.

    In the future I would expect any hot woman I meet to have slept around. If you want lower Ns, date an uglier girl.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]long-lostfriend -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Exactly what I was thinking. The mythical "reformed slut" DOES exist!!

    [–]scarfox1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Consider yourself lucky to have found this out now and move on

    [–]TheBeardedMarxist 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Would you care if she had just fucked half the lacrosse team?

    [–]SmirkAddict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm wondering this as well. Being pass around by a group of guys that know each other is already bad enough. But could you forgive it if they were all white?(I hope not btw...)

    [–]Gogo4u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You mean EX-fiance, right?

    [–]nastynickdr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Your are hamstering that she is a keeper because you have oneitis. Do not marry this girl. Oh and she prob also got gangbanged.

    [–]Sepean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hot girls get lots of alpha attention and AWALT they can't resist it.

    You have to decide if you want a 10 who banged half the football team or the 8.5 who didn't. The odds of finding a girl who said no to alpha after alpha for year after year, they're almost zero, and that is the life of the hottest girls.

    If the rest of her personality is solid and this is more a case of her being excessively tempted than her being weak and impulsive, I'd go with the hot girl and deal with any alpha widow issues. I married a hot girl and I can handle her shit; I couldn't handle the bitterness I'd feel if I didn't have the hottest wife.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    For your own sanity, walk away. She's likely an alpha widow and you'll never see her the same way. If you marry her, you'll be haunted by images of her being boned by stud football players the rest of your life.

    Also, the fact that she didn't delete these old messages is a huge red flag.

    [–]AlphaAccountant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What is important concerning her past is: does it bother you?

    The obvious answer is yes or else you wouldn't be posting here.

    She wants to lock down the best man she can and she seems to have found one willing to commit.

    Though her admitting her past is commendable, almost unicorn like, previous behavior is a good sign of future behavior, which in this situation seems to mean that you're one failed shit test from her messaging some NFL superstar and getting rammed by him. Oh and then you'll want to divorce her and she gets to take half your shit.

    All things considered, she seems like a decent girl brought up in a horrible society. But if I were you, I know what I'd do. Drop the bitch.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Why are you even thinking about it? Break up immediately. Fucking whore. Dumb slut

    [–]prodigy2throw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Do what you want man. If you can handle your wife lying to you and still talking to exes who are madly in love with her then go for it.

    Based on what you've said it sounds like you've got unicorn goggles on.

    [–]Lsegundo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just talking to some guy on FB and not mentioning she is engaged is a deal breaker. There is only one reason she would hold that info back. I don't think I have to spell it out.

    You sound like a guy who has plenty of options.

    [–]Azzmo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This all happened in her freshman year, or was it throughout the four+ years of college? That's in important distinction, I think. In the former case you're looking at someone who got enthusiastic and crazy for a few months or a year. In the latter case, that's a lot of irresponsible fucking over a long period of time and a predictor of future behavior and of her true character and you should seriously reconsider marriage.

    What it ultimately comes down to is this: who will she be when she's 40? Is she going to have 1.8 kids with you, talk shit about you to her friends, and divorce you, take your house and kids? Or is she a good person who made some mistakes?

    [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

    There are so many womenhaters in this thread.

    Remember this, your life is about YOUR happiness. So if you think you can still move forward with this girl, then do it. If you think you can be happy with her, then be with her. Do what you think is best for YOUR happiness. Dont blindly follow redditors advice and break up with a (possibly) great woman.

    [–]Jetrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Mortharis, You are right. confusedthrowaway_22 can take control this situation by setting up some rules. There are always two sides of the the stories.

    [–]Jetrog -5 points-4 points  (8 children)

    What a hypocrite advises? You all gave confusedthrowaway_22 to dump this woman. How many times all you been hook up for night stand? Many, many many times.

    She could delete all those messages before you can read them but she did not and she owned up and explained them to you. She is an intelligent and good woman.

    What amaze me, it is OK for guys to sleep around and you call them stud. If a girl who sleep around you call them slut. We should call these guys a slut too not a stud.

    The past is the past people do change. Stay with her, be an Alpha male and take control. If you give up, you are just a sheep following some bad advices.

    By take control set up some ground rules.

    Red pill forums are to counter of bad experiences, bad communications, bad understandings, bad cultures, bad manners, bad habits and bad hamsters of men relate to the opposite sex.

    People (male or female) do change if their environments and surroundings are secure, healthy and happy.

    So do not throw stones and bad advises because you had bad experiences. Are we all GOD that we can predict the future?

    [–]Lsegundo 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    It is difficult for most men to get a large number of women into bed. The vast majority of women can get sex anytime they want. All she has to do is be willing. That is why men are studs and women are sluts. It is based on degree of difficulty.

    If you spend any time in red pill forums you should know this.

    [–]Jetrog -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

    Red pill forums are to counter of bad experiences, bad communications, bad understandings, bad cultures, bad manners and bad hamsters of men relate to the opposite sex.

    Definition of of slut for me is sexually promiscuous women or men. So they are all sluts not studs.

    But people (male or female) do change if their environments and surroundings are secure, healthy and happy.

    So do not throw stones and bad advises because they had bad experiences. Are we all GOD that we can predict the future?

    [–]Lsegundo 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Is this the fiancee's throwaway account? You have 3 posts all in this thread.

    But people (male or female) do change if their environments and surroundings are secure, healthy and happy.

    I am not a red pill authority. Some of your advice seems anti red pill to me. The chick was the footballs teams cum dumpster in college. We are not talking 2 or 3 players. It was 10 confirmed and she propositioned several others to use her like a free prostitute. The count could actually be 25 players for all we know.

    [–]Jetrog 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    So what? She is not a pro, did she get paid probably NOT. It is only one sided of the story, they usualy two side of the stories.

    We are a men we take control and we can make better. Peolple always condempt the pass and that not fair. Karma is a bitch it takes you by suprise.

    [–]Lsegundo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    that not fair

    Life never was fair and never will be. You care more about white knighting for this woman than I care about discussing it. You win.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Jetrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She probably testing the guy for not deleting these texts so she can see what type of person she is dating. She is no reasons to lied because she can explain what is going on. You know when someone lied. How do you know she is a liar and a deceiver, you DO NOT live with her. Again it is only one sided stories. The writer might be lying too. He might be a slut. Who knows. For your last statement. Are we still in the prehistoric time to compare us with neanderthal. This is 21st century, I think some men still have their culture in prehistoric time. Need to update their upbringing to the present date.