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Bullied (self.asktrp)

submitted by Alexander290

Hello, I am 17 years old an I am getting bullied by classmates. What can I do to prevent this.

Edit: I get bullied because of my weird clothes even though I attempted many times to wear good clothes I always seem to fail to buy "good" ones. I'm the shortest of the class and skinny. Literally 0 friends and no gf. I've improved since trp, but I'm still getting bullied. Theyre calling me names, pushing me and such. I just wish everything could be better, or that I had atleast something to be proud of.

List after 40 comments, what to do:

  1. Go to the gym
  2. Follow a martial art
  3. Used amused mastery to bullies and thrash talk them back --
  4. focus on mission
  5. Try to make friends
  6. In a big group attack the "leader" first --
  7. Dont take "shit" --

** Thank you very much for all your help. I feel like life is already going better.


[–]talexanderc 105 points106 points  (18 children)

Lift. Once you're in your 20s they will all probably be losers anyway. Have patience, I know it sucks. I've been there.

[–]oyoungpadawan 70 points71 points  (9 children)

This, I'm 29 and I've seen the "cool dudes and bullies" from my highschool become fat slobs with fat girlfriends.

I'm not gonna lie I liked seeing it.

[–]talexanderc 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's comical. There isn't a single person that I graduated with that is in better shape than me. And I know none of them have as good a career either. I went to a small school though <100 seniors

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Classic revenge fantasy.

Reality check: cool dudes and bullies in high school often find financial, sexual, and status success later in life simply by using the exact same behavior.

I had this revenge fantasy too and doubled-down on focusing on my studies to feel better about myself. It worked great until I was out of the school system, being a simple employee with massive student loans to repay, while the "bad guys" had cool jobs, hot wives and real-estate portfolios to show for.

Teenage years is the sandbox of adult human social dynamics. Take it seriously.

[–]ppanthero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely not true for my school. But i see where you get at. But being a bully only brings you that far in the real world i would say.

[–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

So besides doing well in school, should I try to implement 'asshole' behaviours?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 0 points1 point  (2 children)

No need to try. It will come if you implement the list that you made.

"asshole" is the usual judgement that people without power give to people who have power. If you get physically bigger, know how to fight and don't hesitate to retaliate in self-defense, know how to trash talk back at them and become widely connected with the "in" crowd, then you will naturally tend to earn the title of "asshole" from weaker people.

Seriously, so much of our judging others badly come from a place of insecurity. Just like girls judge a pretty girl a "slut" only because they feel threatened by her higher value on the SMP, we guys tend to judge badly men who we unconsciously feel are higher on the SMP because they're stronger ("meathead"), more popular ("jock"), wealthy ("spoiled"), or attempting to get there ("poser"). Judging/shaming is the primary tool in our intrasexual competition toolbox.

[–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank you, very informative! This is a good summary for me to end this post and get started. The only problem I still have is time, currently I have to do allot for school and I have trouble finding time to get started with excercising, but I'm about to have holidays.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good on you.

Lack of time won't get any better though. And lifting is so fundamental. If you really are too busy or too poor for the gym, you can still find 10 minutes in morning or evening to do a few bodyweight exercises at home. Do some sets of a variation of squat, push-up, pull-up, and a core exercise.

http://www.startbodyweight.com/2014/01/basic-routine-infographic-poster.html

[–]Peter_B_Long 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same

[–]ppanthero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But seriously - that really seems to be the far most probable outcome. But the same for the “cheerleader“ girls. I guess this comes from not improving further from high school and the lack of a decent personality.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Everyone should lift. Having said that its not a win all strategy for bullying. If youre 5"5, no amount of lifting will make you bigger than the 6"6 guy who also lifts. Guys who will always be at a size disadvantage need other tactics for bullying like social proof and amoging through funny burns

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what this guy said, the last sentence.

[–]Moreofmore 7 points8 points  (4 children)

More of this. And go over to r/malefashionadvice and read their sidebar.

[–]seiretnemeS 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Stay away from that place unless you want to look like a low T bugman.

Go to utube and type in 'alpha m'.

[–]pussykiller009 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Alpha m stuffs might be expensive for a 17 yo kid

[–]seiretnemeS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Male fashion advice is the subject.

[–]Commentor544 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teachingmensfashion stuff seems cheap enough and targeted at young guys

[–]sihitu123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some maybe. Lets not delude ourselves.

[–]2SirKolbath 24 points25 points  (8 children)

Bullying sucks. As someone who is 5'5" and was a junior Olympic wrestling qualifier, I can tell you that the guys telling you to lift are wrong.

They aren't wrong to be telling you to lift. They're wrong to be telling you that it will stop bullying. I graduated at 5'4" and 112lbs and could bench almost 185, which is pretty damn good for that size, especially with a mangled right shoulder. I still had to deal with bullying nonsense from a few shitholes I went to school with.

I'll tell you three things.

  1. Those people are immaterial to your life and your mission. You keep lifting, working on yourself, and moving towards your goals. They will fade away. In three years, you'll barely remember their names. In ten, when they show up in your Facebook feed you'll think, "Holy space Jesus you got fucking fat." In fifteen you won't remember anything about them other than that they were assholes.

  2. Get into some kind of martial art. Vandaalen prefers BJJ. I recommend Krav Maga. Do something that is going to get you hit in the face at least twice a week. The confidence alone will help.

  3. Decide now where your line in the sand is. Make the decision unemotional and calmly, or it's going to be made for you. I don't want to read your name on a fucking CNN scroller, so you decide now what your limits are and what you're going to do. In my case, about nine weeks before graduation I had enough. I ankle-picked one of my tormentors, passed guard, and started trying to see how many licks it took to get to the middle of his goddamn tootsie pop. I earned myself a week out of school, which I spent filing complaints with the school board that I'd reported that asshole for two years and they'd done nothing. At the end of that week, when I came back to school, he harassed me again, and I used my history book to break his nose. I got another week, and in front of the principal, my mom, his mom, and God I told that son of a bitch that if he said another word to me I'd keep coming.

From then on he left me the fuck alone. I'd reached my line.

Now, I might have gotten the shit beaten out of me. You need to be prepared for that because it's a real possibility. Life isn't a movie. But I had to make the cost of fucking with me greater than any pleasure that shitstick got from doing it. You may have to do the same.

Bullies do not stop on their own. They harass and torment people because they don't have the self-introspection necessary to understand their actions. Outside impetus must be applied to end the behavior. In the failure of an outside impetus, a history book may also be applied, if it's done forcefully enough.

Now, I am not giving you license to beat the shit out of random people. Nor am I saying anything that can remotely be deciphered as "take a weapon and deal with this." I'm saying that Kenny Rogers was right when he said, "Sometimes you have to fight to be a man." This could get the shit beaten out of you. You could be seriously injured. You might be suspended or even expelled.

Which is why only you can determine where that line is drawn. You're the only one who gets to decide where 'enough' is.

[–]redpilledcuck 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I ankle-picked one of my tormentors, passed guard, and started trying to see how many licks it took to get to the middle of his goddamn tootsie pop.

What the hell is this supposed to mean? You tripped him to the ground and gave him a rimjob?

[–]gaki123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

fucking lmao

[–]Alexander290[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, thanks for your comment.

[–]Irishminer93 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Krav maga, you mean the one that literally tells you to do as much damage as possible in order to walk away safely? Learning it will definitely help but the moment he actually uses it, in school, there’s a huge chance he’d be expelled and maybe even thrown in prison depending on where they live and whether or not they decide to charge him as an adult. Given the fact that the training would be on record, probably an adult. Given the circumstances BJJ is definitely the smarter choice. In BJJ they don’t teach you to become absolutely lethal, but he can always pick up KM later in life.

[–]2SirKolbath 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I agree with your assessment of Krav Maga but what I disagree with is your understanding of how it is used.

Yes, I can do maximum damage in minimum time. That doesn't mean I'm going to respond to a bitch slap by ripping off somebody's ear. Krav Maga teaches levels of force, and the progression is specifically designed to prevent that sort of thing. He's not going to become an assassin in two weeks. And he probably won't even have to kill anybody until his second belt test.

Kidding aside, I don't know how Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructors are certified. I can only speak from my personal experience as a Krav Maga instructor. Every instructor in the United States that is teaching actual Krav Maga has to be certified by one of three primary certification bodies. These are, in order from largest to smallest, Krav Maga worldwide, Krav Maga Alliance, and United States Krav Maga Associatuon. I have certifications from all three bodies and trust anyone they certify to be a competent instructor. I absolutely do not recommend Atlas Krav Maga or any other association, many of those are not even teaching actual Krav Maga.

I have enormous respect for Brazilian jiu-jitsu and anybody who trains in it. However, one gap in the style is that it was developed for competition. It is predominantly a one-on-one style. Krav Maga teaches dealing with multiple attackers from the very first lesson. Bullies are generally cowards. They like an audience, and a lot of times they get the audience involved on their side. OP might have to deal with two or three attackers.

Ultimately, however, these discussions are always fun because you get to see different sides of each martial art style. I completely agree with you that OP must remain disciplined, and I'm glad that you brought it up. It's one thing to be kicked out of school because you had to defend yourself. It's another thing to end up with a police record because you use excessive force.

[–]Irishminer93 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’ve only had the one krav maga lesson and that was more of a trial class so I can’t really say to much, but in BJJ I did learn how to handle groups different ways depending on the “layout” of the group. We went up to three aggressors in five different layouts.

It may be time for me to revisit Krav Maga. Though I’m living in China at the moment so it might not be possible. It’s all Chinese martial arts here. And boxing. They love boxing here. Kick boxing is getting big at the moment too.

[–]2SirKolbath 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is why I like talking about this stuff. It may be time for me to revisit Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I really miss wrestling, and one of the downsides to Krav Maga is that we have limited ground fighting. We can fight on the ground, but we generally prefer to stay on our feet so that we can get the hell out of dodge if necessary.

Let me know when you make it back to the States. Maybe we can hook up and trade a lesson for a lesson.

[–]Irishminer93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I miss taking someone down to the ground (in a sparring match, lol).

Chances are I wont be heading back anytime soon. I enjoy it here. But on the off chance I do I'll probably send you a message to see if you can recommend a good place to learn Krav Maga. Right after I spend a couple weeks relearning some of my old moves that is.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Understand that bullies are the biggest babies on the planet. Nobody cares if a baby gets upset.

Use Amused Mastery. Roast them back.

"Quit whining" and "stop being a baby" are classics. if they try to argue, just repeat yourself again and again, with a grin. "didn't I just tell you to quit whining?"

Do not, under any circumstances, Defend, Argue, Explain, Excuse, or Rationalize.

[–]CryptoViceroy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Do not, under any circumstances, Defend, Argue, Explain, Excuse, or Rationalize.

This.

Bullies are looking for a reaction and if they don't get one they'll soon get bored and go somewhere else.

"Don't feed the trolls"

[–]Vitamin_Red 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, they do not "get bored" and leave you alone. Alternatively to what people for some odd reason believe, bullies will not stop unless you beat the shit out of them - which is not advisable unless you are in early high school or lower. That or you get people on your side to make them social outcasts or people in power to put them in place (HR, principal, etc.).

Walking away should be the obvious first choice, however chances are if you are being bullied it's because they constantly see you all the time and it's not an option (classroom, work). All in all, simply ignoring will not work because they will just keep escalating until you are forced to acknowledge them. You're going to have to stand up for yourself.

[–]c9t1120 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good advice man

[–]Alexander290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I will use this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I was him I would just give them no attetion. They pushed me? I will get up and keep going. They talk shit about me? I won't react,I won't answer,I will keep being focused on whatever I am doing.

The problem with answering back is that as he is short and skinny he can not defend himself and let's be real,a bully has no ethical limitation to get physical and that could be truly dangerous for him.

[–]felix044900 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Lifting will literally change how everyone perceives u at school. Go every day, if I could go back in time to school this is the one thing I would emphasize on myself. Also work on other things such as your body language, haircut and stand up straight at all times. Small things like these can change how others perceive you. Try talk to different people and stick to a friend group.

[–]3nebder 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It must be effective lifting

I’ve watched a 16 yr old kid not make any progress over about 8 months thanks to fuckarounditis. He’s there before I am, still there when I leave. Doing all kinds of weird shit. In that time I put damn near 200lbs on my squat. Winners gonna win, losers gonna make excuses.

It’s not rocket science. Track your nutrition, follow a basic beginner lifting program and get sleep.

[–]felix044900 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s true man, no one knows what the fuck they are doing especially in school. Most people lift for an ego boost anyway. But if they learn the discipline and stick to a routine it can work wonders.

[–]usernameishardtomake 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Just like everyone said in the comments, you must lift.

However you also must EAT RIGHT. if you are very skinny, then you should eat a lot more than usual EVERYDAY. you can't just eat a lot for a couple of days n quit. You gotta eat right and lift for months and years to get to a physique that you'll be confident with.

However it's TOTALLY worth lifting n getting bigger. Guys will not fuck with you if you're bigger than them! You're still super young, and life has just begun for you. Grab your life by its pussy n tell it that youre my fking life n lead it the way you want it to go (in academics, girls, health, etc). Everything is in your hands now. Good luck! I hope you live your life the way you want to!

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]usernameishardtomake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Different account? Lol

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]redpilledcuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    OP this is a golden idea. You live in the age where everyone carries a handheld camcorder. Record them and show the school authorities.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That is bullshit,the bullies are approved by almost every spectator,else they wouldn't do it. Bullying happens in front of everybody,in the halls,in classroom,outside but it is almost always in front of people and they LET it happen. If the bully's girlfriend talk to him and say that he is a fucking jerk and he won't get any sex anymore he would stop but his girlfriend doesn't even care or say "ohhh that poor guy" and then go on with her day. That is terrible advice unless you bring it to teachers which could lead to other problems.

    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    All these people who are telling you to lift have probably never experienced what its like to be bullied as a shorter guy. yes lifting is important but as a short guy who used to get bullied, you need massive social proof or u need to be the guy whos willing to get hit and still laugh at them for being pathetic

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    This is shit advice. It will only make them pity him and lower his value.

    I am a short guy, I am 5ft 8in in a country where 5ft 11in is the average and all my life only sports, lifting and beating the stronger guy helped me not only to survive but to strive and forge my current frame.

    Sometimes you have to beat someone stronger in more than one way to get social proof. But in order to achieve that you need to have some physical means.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    a 3 inch difference in height isnt nowhere near as big as someone who's 5'5 and 6ft. Bullying from these things happen and no matter how "strong" the 5'5 guy gets, he won't ever beat the 6ft guy who trains just as hard. That's not meant to discourage anyone, it's just fact. It's better to see reality for what it is and work around it than ignore all other options.

    you don't always need physical means to win. Winning through being more charasmatic or wittier is an amazing way to be on top. The guy who can make fun of himself cause he doesnt give a shit while amoging others verbally is going to have massive social proof even if he doesnt lift.

    [–]redpilledcuck 16 points17 points  (14 children)

    >pushing me

    If they make physical contact with you fight back. Just be careful that they will gang up on you. Beat the shit out of the first one that touches you, don't hold back at all or he will kick your ass. They will think twice after that.

    >I get bullied because of my weird clothes

    No you don't. You get bullied because you're an easy target (short, weak, no friends, doesn't stand up for himself). I could make whatever shit I want up in order to bully you if you're my target. Next time they say anything about your clothes say something like "Oh, well that's odd, your mother liked them."

    [–]Alexander290[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    Yes, I will.

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Please don't make physical contact first,that is the most terrible mistake you can do.

    [–]redpilledcuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    When you hit, position yourself with a back to a wall so they can't come up behind you.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Next time someone pushes wait until he lets his guard down and soccer punch him in the fucking nose, smirk to his friends and walk away.

    You will get in trouble with the principal(who doesen't give two shits over your bullying) and your mom will have a talk with you - LOL.

    You can just tell them that it was "self defense" and you wouldn't be lying, he was a physical threat at the time and you felt that you needed to defend yourself.

    This would establish a new frame. Also buy yourself pepper gas in a spray if he decides to gang up on you. Proceed to beat the shit out of them a second time until they learn their place.

    [–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks for your comment

    [–]daffy_duck233 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    This reminds me of the advice "If you have to fight punch first and punch hard".

    [–]redpilledcuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sun Tzu said something to the effect that you should destroy your enemy totally. I think the same was repeated in 48 laws of power. You don't want to give the guy a chance to turn the tables on you. Be like this guy: https://i.imgur.com/Gx0zWZ4.gif

    Obviously though, don't get into a situation where you end up legally liable.

    [–]AloofusMaximus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's good advice! When I was doing karate, I was told basically "if you have to fight, it's as a last resort. Whenever you strike though, it's to do damage".

    Also OP use this as an exercise in OI. Don't let what they say ruffle your feathers "words are wind".

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    How do you know that he is going to be able to beat the shit out of the first one that touches him? What if he tries to hit him,fail because of no experience and the ape that he tried to punch beats the shit out of him. He is suddenly going to be 1v? but sure as fuck not 1v1.

    We don't even know who those kids are,what if OP lives in the Hood and he gets holes in his body from bullets because he stood up? And do you seriously advice him to insult his bullies' mothers while being ON HIS OWN?

    [–]redpilledcuck -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    Even if you get your ass kicked standing up for yourself the bully will think twice before fucking with you. Right now there's no cost for the bully. If there's a possibility you give him a bit of pain he'll think twice before starting shit again. It won't be worth it to him.

    Of course, you could also stab a motherfucker and get away with it if it gets too far:

    http://www.nbc-2.com/story/16210695/2011/12/Wednesday/teens-describe-events-leading-to-killing

    http://archive.naplesnews.com/news/crime/collier-judge-upholds-stand-your-ground-stabbing-death-defense-in-teens-bus-stop-bullying-ep-3903580-342694492.html

    (Makes me so happy to read about the smug shit-eating grin being wiped off that asshole bully's face.)

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Still you lack context to be able to bring that possibility to the table. OP says that he is short and skinny with zero friends,he is on his own,we do not know how big this group is and we don't know if his bullies are 300 lbs 6'5'' football players and those are underage kids they don't know when to stop they could hit his head so hard that he dies or worse becomes handiccaped. You say that the bully would think twice to start shit again but the truth is that he is going to give him a reason to keep going and that time he can actually rationalize it.

    How the hell do you have the nerve to normalize stabbing and laugh about the death of a kiddo,no matter how stupid he is.

    [–]redpilledcuck -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Apparently I have more nerve than you, who would just autistically ignore it if I slapped you upside the head, pulled you down and stole stuff from your backpack, while you pretended nothing was happening and kept your head in the sand.

    OP can judge his own situation for himself, there's no need for me to pussyfoot for him. Are you even on the right sub? Yes there's always the higher road and putting the bully in his place with poise and maturity, but it doesn't look like OP has or can fake those traits.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I am a boxer I know better than you how serious getting physical is and I also know that street fight is not like in movies and it could get truly bad for a short skinny kid. I don't know what I would do in his situation,I would probably do what you say if my bullies were also normal 16 years old kids but we do not know who they are so advising him to give into a fight could have a terrible ending for him and a 16 yo kid is too stuffed with feelings to judge rationally the situation.

    [–]InDankWeTrust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also remember, destroy your enemy completley, just because you land 1 good punch doesnt mean its over.

    [–]Monsieur-Incroyable 12 points13 points  (7 children)

    Martial Arts can do wonders for your mental attitude and physical fitness. Your joints could still be growing, so stay away from very heavy lifting and stick with higher reps-lower weights for now. Really consider martial arts though.

    Hang in there, it gets so much better after high school.

    [–]throwaway66633gg -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    Stay away from heavy lifting? Wtf is this bullshit advice.

    [–]Irishminer93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The phrase was “very heavy lifting” and in case you aren’t aware over doing it as a teenager, even when you’re 17 can have some negative outcomes.

    [–]Monsieur-Incroyable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Heavy lifting before growth (epiphyseal) plates have fully solidified results in stunted growth. Similar to what happened to your brain.

    Source: Me. An Orthopedist.

    [–]PerfectOffice -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    The thing is for MMa and lifting I have to quit my other hobbies

    [–]Monsieur-Incroyable 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Well, you need to weigh what's most important to you.

    I don't know what your other hobbies are, but martial arts and weightlifting will positively affect the rest of your life. Make a choice now while you're young, and you will reap the benefits for decades to come.

    Cut back something in your life like television or video games, and I guarantee you can find a couple hours to spare each week on improving yourself.

    [–]PerfectOffice 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    So 1. School 2. Gym 3. MMA r(ecommended), Volleybal or football Yes, I’ll try to cut down doing useless stuff

    [–]frequentlywrong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Doing MMA and not lift is fine. Considering the bullying MMA is probably better for you. And force yourself to eat more.

    [–]wiLLThaColdest 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    If you get a hand laid on you, fight back. No exceptions. Expect to get suspended regardless if you started the fight or not. It's much better to leave with pride and dignity then to take it like a bitch.

    Pro tip from my father: if it's a group of people bullying you, and you must physically fight, hit the perceived leader of the group first. A punch in the nose will make almost anyone cry/eyes water... If the followers see their leader crying, less likely chance of them trying you. Also don't forget that a lot of these jock type dudes are gonna be careful not to fight on school grounds, because they can get suspended from sports. As the others said, lifting will help not only your body, but your mindset as well as being able to physically defend yourself better. As a dude who used to get bullied when I was younger I know how you feel man. At least you seem like you don't have much longer left to go until you graduate.

    [–]Alexander290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yes, very informative, thanks.

    [–]dzkkne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Not gonna lie, if you want to resolve this shit right now - don’t tolerate it. Doesn’t matter if you know how to fight or not - next time someone tries to bully you physically or calling you names - challenge him/her back. Give then the best smack you can right away - they night think you overreacting but they won’t come close to you again.

    You are a man, you shouldn’t be afraid getting beat up - it is a small price for peace and respect you get after.

    Long term - lift and do some boxing at least for a few months to become comfortable with physical confrontation - it is that simple.

    Do not tolerate any bs from anyone trying to put you down - always push back. You only have to do it once or twice and they will forget about picking on you. They only do it because there is no cost for them.

    [–]nerfedpanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Don't wear "good" clothes bc you feel they make you fit in. You have to change your mindset of wanting to fit in/be accepted by these losers.

    Wear whatever you want and do whatever the fuck you want. If you truly adopt that mindset, people will notice and treat you differently.

    [–]ContreversialViews22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Clothing: since you're my age it ain't gonna be that hard to figure it out what you should get to fit in: quick warning, I'm from the UK so the shops you have may vary

    1. Hoodie (best if plain or is a major brand e.g. superdry, adidas, nike etc, obscure things or anime related stuff are usually a big no no unless a collab with a big brand)

    2. Jumpers (same as hoodies, plain or big name brand, usually no obscure stuff unless collab with big name brand)

    3. T-shirts (see what I said for Jumpers and Hoodies)

    4. Slim fit/skinny jeans (the legs of the jeans shouldn't "flare" out and start to cover up your shoes, they also shouldn't be too tight that you start to feel pain when wearing them)

    5. Tracksuits (you should go and get the slim fit variants as the era of baggy tracksuits has ended and it's a quick way to getting yourself bullied even more)

    6. Polos, don't even bother getting these as they're not in style at the moment for our age group but will be when you get older

    7. Sneakers, these are very important and can possibly make or break an outfit, my recommended list is: Air Jordan 1-12, AJ horizons, Nike Air Max 90 & 95, Nike Air Force 1s high & low variants, Adidas ZX Flux, Adidas ultraboost

    8. Jackets, I would suggest you get ones with a detactable hoodie in case you want to do a hoodie-jacket combo, sleveless variants are a big question mark IMO as they're kinda popular but only with the thug types

    9. Bags, you can go with style with the one strap one which looks cool but it'll fuck up your back or you can go with comfort with the double strap which saves your back and is starting to become more popular now

    Good clothing brands: Uniqlo (Every range of clothing), Superdry (Every range of clothing), Adidas (Hoodies, Tracksuits & Sneakers), Nike (Hoodies, Tracksuits & Sneakers), Topman (Every range of clothing)

    Good clothing shops: Footlocker, JD, Superdry, TopShop (Topman is a section under it), River Island, H&M

    Simple combo for clothes you can wear:

    1. Hoodie, jeans, sneakers

    2. Jumper, jeans, sneakers

    3. T-shirt, jeans, sneakers

    4. Tracksuit, sneakers

    5. T-shirt, Tracksuit bottom, sneakers

    It is up to you to experiment with the clothes you plan to get to match the style you like

    [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    In what form? Details please.

    [–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I added them, please tell me if it isn't detailed enough.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So your problem is getting made fun of. I know that at your age this seems like a big deal and the human mind also does not like being cast out from the group, because on earlier times that significantly diminished your chances of survival.

    That said, who gives a fuck? How many more years do you have to deal with those retards? Two? After that, you will probably never see 90% or more of them again.

    How many of them are people you look up to? Probably zero. Why do you want to be a part of a bunch of losers?

    Go and find people who are worth searching their affinity. Go and join a BJJ/MMA gym. These guys don't give fuck about how you dress. They respect you for setting goals and working hard.

    Regarding your style, you maybe want to look at /r/malefashionadvice and /r/frugalmalefashion. You might find another style that you like more and which suits you better than the one you have now.

    Always aim to like yourself that way though and don't think about what other people might like. If you decide that looking like a circus clown is what you want to, then dress like one. Don't give a fuck about others.

    [–]2KeffirLime 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Need details about your situation to help, but trust me when i say life gets alot better when you leave high school.

    Read sidebar. Lift.

    [–]Alexander290[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I already read the sidebar but I don't really changed that much after reading it, should I read it again?

    And also I added details

    [–]2KeffirLime 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    It's not an overnight process. I takes years to internalize and a apply the principles in the side bar. But focusing on the points raised there will gradually improve many aspects of your life.

    As for your predicament, Lift, get jacked, it automatically commands presence without opening your mouth.(this too takes time)

    Your clothes is not the problem, they'll bully you no matter what you wear, changing clothes is giving them the desired reaction.

    Try react as little as possible to their actions. The less moved/affected you are by what they do the less incentive they have to continue doing it.

    Try make friends(i know this is hard) talk to people, ask questions about them, try show interest in what they're interested in. Talk to girls aswell. Biologically they are far more empathetic, kinder. On the plus side you'll have women in your life.

    Bullies will also be far less likely to bully when you're not a loner.

    Lastly take MMA classes, not that i encourage you to use it, but it will give you alot more confidence to back yourself, the guys there will probably help you with your predicament too.

    [–]PerfectOffice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks very imformative, I’ll talk to people more

    [–]cl3537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Keep a strong work ethic, train your mind and body, smart is sexy, fit is sexy. You are on a mission, and your mission doesn't include drugs, 'hanging out', stupid childish games or being 'cool'.

    I was 5"5 for most of high school 6"0 now, I got bullied, assholes would take stuff out of my bag, it wasn't fun. I had some big friends who protected me but it was still embarrassing at times. Just focus on productive things and don't react and bullies will eventually move on to a target giving them more of a response.

    I just ignored it, joined a sports team, had my friends and pretty much just came to school to get my grades and left as quickly as possible.

    I didn't really connect with anyone in high school most of them were losers anyway.

    I think lifting would be extremely helpful to you, for your mindset, and to train your body and build it up. It is much easier to do it at your age than doing what I am doing now 20 years later.

    I would try to learn as many languages as possible and join a public speaking club like debating. I wouldn't worry about chasing pussy and the 'cool kids' most of them are fucktards that have already peaked.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    As someone your age what are you wearing that’s getting you bullied?

    [–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Just bad clothes, I don't know what to buy

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Most kids in my HS wear chinos and a t shirt/sweatshirt.

    For the summer I’d suggest chino shorts or cargo shorts, and some t shirts.

    Don’t wear Jean shorts. Regular jeans are fine.

    [–]mazraj99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just like the kind gentleman u/KeffirLime said, your clothing isn't the problem here and changing it is only showing them that their bullying works and they will try it even more as a result. Don't think of this bullying as a problem it's a symptom of a much bigger one, that problem of course being you, your lifestyle choices, bad decisions and lack of direction. But you know what? You are here, the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging its existence, learn as much as you can from the sidebar, read it and re-read it to fully understand what it is about, learn from people's experiences and stories on the main TRP sub and remember that digesting the red pill is a long journey that takes patience and dedication.

    Oh and LIFT!!

    [–]NEPat10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lift. Then keep on lifting. Take advantage of your high levels of testosterone. It’s not an overnight fix. You’re 17 and luckily almost finished with high school and when that ends everything changes. I wish I can give you that overnight solution but as it pertains to bullies they already have this cowardly image of you in their head and no snarky comeback or wardrobe change will change that. If anything, I feel like it may make it worse because they can see how their bullying is forcing you to want to change yourself.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    [–]dzkkne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Problem with all the replies above is they tell you tolerate shit and hope for the best after - NO, this is not how it works.

    This is your fucking challenge bro, if you resolve your HS shit you will leave HS with respect, knowing how to deal with this stuff later in life. Do you think college will be much easier for you.

    Don’t back down, don’t wait for better times. You know what you need to do and just shying away from it asking people for advice here.

    It is not about the people around you in HS - it is about you and the way you see yourself. They don’t matter shit, but your self perception does matter to you and your long term success.

    And yea, I have to stress - don’t take any bullying personally, don’t hate on people. They challenge you because you showed weakness somewhere. It is feedback to you from the environment you are in - so learn and improve. Don’t blame on others, yes they are not doing the right thing - but if you sort out yourself it will not be a problem for you ever again

    [–]RedPilledRoaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Amused mastery and lift

    [–]daffy_duck233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If you are not already in any athletic group at school then join one, if it's too late then join something outside school. Try a hip hop dance club or something like that. It gives you lots of exercise and chance to broaden your social circle.

    [–]AnjaJutta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    OP, what is more important to your development as a stronger person is to internalise that they are not bullying you because of your clothes or whatever other reason they announce. They bully you because you are weak. They can get away with it. There is no punishment.

    The guys here generously described a few strategies to garner more power in a social setting.

    Your job right now is to start finding ways to win small victories in the social arena. Do you know any ways you can add value to your fellow classmates who are not bullying you? Do they have a social group you can join?

    [–]itsdir0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There is nothing more scary than an unpredictable man.

    If they always wait to take it on you, it is because they all know how you will react.

    [–]wtg2989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Get good at boxing and mma and wipe the floor with someone.

    [–]Moreofmore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Heads up, 3,6, and 7 sound like little man syndrome if you don’t mix it with charisma

    [–]KingoftheCastle94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know you've probably heard this before but lift dude. Not even that hard just find out what your maintenance caloric intake is (Google how to find that out), then eat around 200-500 calories more than this number daily, be sure to include good protein and carbs with every meal. Lift atleast 3 or 4 times a week and you'll see gains. That's basically muscle building 101.

    Simultaneously also visit a boxing gym maybe once or twice a week and get used to throwing punches. Then when you do hit one of them upside the head they'll know you mean business.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Everyone telling you to lift is correct... everyone bitching about that advice is not appreciating that anyone telling you to lift no doubt understands that it is merely a starting point. Martial arts is good advice too, but don't expect miracles... if it at least improves your confidence and bearing, then that is 'win' enough. That said, never write off the potential of a disproportionate response... I went to high school with a little guy who was tortured mercilessly and when he pushed back, it only made things worse for him - that was until one day in class, he straight up picked his desk and chair and threw it at a guy... people didn't fuck with him after that.

    [–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    disproportionate response

    What do you mean?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    As defined in the example... the old adage of bringing a gun to a knife-fight. If you retaliate verbally to a bully or punch back when you get pushed, those are more or less proportionate responses... chucking furniture at dudes? That is a disproportionate reaponse and it paid dividends for the kid I went to school with.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Learn social skills. You're being bullied since nobody would mind if you are bullied. You're the easy prey.

    [–]sixseven89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just dont engage with them or react. If you completely ignore then you'll look like a bitch and that you're trying too hard, so just smirk at them and continue doing what you're doing.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    How tall are you?

    Are you fat?

    Are you anorexic?

    Do you have both parents or are you being raised by a single mom?

    Are you buying clothes that fit you?(check your sizes)

    Are you buying extravagant, weird clothes?

    What country do you live in?

    When do you graduate? Are you in your final year?

    Do you have a weird face?

    I will give you advice but please answer sincirely.

    [–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    173, in my country very short.

    I'm not that fat

    Im notanorexic

    Single mom

    I do but diverent brands fit different, most of the time they don't fit well

    No, not weird on purpose clothes, like spongbob or something like that

    Belgium

    I graduate next year

    No I don't

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The average height in your country is around 178cm +/- 5cm so 183 is tall and 173 is short but you are still young and could probably grow to be 176/177 depending if in the next 4 years you will get enough vitamin D3 + mk7, sleep and excercise.

    Go out and get as much sun as you can get, it naturally produces vitamin d3 in your body and summer time is when you make reserves for winter.

    Check your vitamin d3 blood level!!!, if you will be deficent ask your doctor to put you on d3 + mk7 supplementation. Your future health, height and weight might depend on it.

    Lack if vitamin d3 might even lead to depression.

    Not that fat means fat.

    Single mom - this is your biggest problem, I need you to read these sources - Mandatory!:

    1. https://illimitablemen.com/2014/05/08/the-suffering-of-the-lost-boys/
    2. Find the book "No more Mr Nice Guy" it's a short and easy to read book, which you should read! It's for free on the internet, probably even in your native language: https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

    First of all I recommend that you go into monk mode(read about it here), I read that people are completely shitting over you and even using physical force against you, you need to transfer to a different school to reset your frame, it's completely in pieces and people have less than 0 respect for your mere presence.

    Delete facebook and all social media, change schools - preferably one in a completely different direction than your current school to prevent old "friends" from transferring your bad fame. Don't tell anyone where you are going. This is also mandatory because if you will be going to college with your new friends your shitty image might never be overwritten. Not to mention that the shitty environment will keep you in your poor state of mind like a chain on your leg.

    Secondly you need to interenalize the material here, this means you need to lurk and try and make sense of the new things you will find here. You are still very young and might not understand most of it.

    You need to lift, get a gym membership, read about lifting(how to do this correctly) and lift, after you go to college you can thanks us later for this. It will take a year to two years but after your gains people will automatically give you more respect and your confidence will increase naturally, you will also feel much better. I cannot stress enough how lifting is important.

    Lastly, if you have some fat do this:

    Skip breakfast, don't eat anything untill dinner time, eat a big dinner, wait untill supper, don't eat anything, eat a big supper and don't go to sleep straight after eating, wat a few hours and then go to sleep. Sleep at least 8 hours and go to sleep early. It's called intermittent fasting and can boost your HGH(human growth hormone) up to 2000% of it's initial value.

    Eat only meat and some veggies, don't eat anything that has bread/potatoes/sugar(carbs) in it(meat in bread crumbs, bread, chips, fries etc.).

    Realize that your biggest problem is being raised as a nice guy by your single mom. Don't blame her and don't make an issue for her out of it I don't know why she is single but there may be some redeeming circumstances and she might want the best for you but she can't give it like she could with a father in your house, just focus on improving yourself.

    17, just before senior year is still very early to start working on yourself and reset your social standing, you have very much potential! Some people here start after two divorces at 40 and they smash.

    And after reading my advice, please do not become this:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6o90gp/the_eunuchs_of_the_red_pill/

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    take hgh and testosterone

    [–]pussykiller009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Learn MMA kid But do it secretly,don’t show anybody that you are following an MMA training. Go to gym Eat well -Eat a lot (your power will increase with the training)

    When fighting is your last resort remember that you don’t have to fight all of your bullies You just need to beat one of em’ while making sure some of the other guys see it or hear about it.

    With your MMA training you’ll be able to fight much better than 90% of the population . I am pretty sure your bullies would fit in that percentage.

    Amused mastery won’t stop your bullies It can make them push your buttons even more, trustme. The only way to stop bullies is by standing them So... train Don’t you fucking quit Give your best during sparring You’ll know it when you are ready And go for the first one Wait till he is alone Beat the hell outta him I can assure you that the others won’t back him

    I’ve been a bully myself without even knowing it back then. Being a 6´6 kid back then, I still remember how I secretly respected small kids that stand up against me Even though I whooped them I stopped right after.

    [–]ht2k9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Some people will fucking stop only when you punch the fuck out of them. Attack them from behind, when they push you, fuck them up.

    Really the guy who bullied me, stopped when I fought him and his friend, and even I lost. He stopped and he says hi when he sees me.

    [–]Rollo_Mayhem3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Buy a secret video recorder and record the idiots bullying you. Gather enough evidence to make the school take action or have your parents sue the kids directly. Parents dont care, retain a lawyer yourself "pro bono" if you can or sue the kids yourself. GL.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also this is very relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEF_kRQLKCI

    [–]Snowbattt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I agree with martial arts and lifting. It will not only make you look more intimidating, but it will boost your confidence. Confidence is the best bully-repellent.

    [–]JSuma 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    They might be bullying you more harshly since youre displaying yourself in a more developed manner. Like a shit test for every single rung of the ladder you climb. Or it’s at least harder to take it. Thats good then, use the anger to motivate you towards more disciplined days. Chin up against disrepect until they respect it

    [–]Alexander290[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Yes, but being isolated from the others feels really bad, making me less motivated to do things.

    [–]JSuma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Being bullied has put you at the the bottom of this ladder dude. Theyll want to keep you there. They'll demotivate you. Theyre not your friends, they wont be anytime soon. Youre trying to better yourself and those mfs are your first real haters.

    One day you’ll be the disciplined keystone of a social clique, you’ll be needed and wanted by the people you know and people you meet, and youll have come from where you are now. Arguably the toughest starting point. It will be lonely at first and it may stay lonely for a while, but we both know whats on the other side. Start putting yourself out to socialize in new communities (e.g. the gym, the skatepark, martial arts class, the street) and learn to make friends away from the haters. Keep your productivity and posture on point. Chat up people and service workers you dont intend to see again, its okay to make passing comments.

    Look up assertiveness training, see the difference between passivity, assertiveness, and aggression. Men like you understand that the haters are challenging the integrity of your frame, and your response to that is confidence, humor, and standard shit test strategy when you are both out in public and introspecting. They're supposed to be mad, no one moves up the ladder for free.

    Personal tip: I have a speaker system in my room that lets me play my music 24/7. Only confidence comes out of my speakers. Evaluate what youre listening to, I only play rap because it reinforces the heuristics I’ve established for myself. I'm never letting myself listen to recordings of someone wallowing in self pity or sadness ever again.

    [–]CapnDankPlank -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Just shoot up your school ? I presume your in america ?