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Is TRP really that bitter? (self.asktrp)

submitted by LodestarAuriga

Is it? I'm convinced of the TRP theory. Without getting too radical, most of the theory posted here corresponds perfectly to practice.

Damn it, but will it always be this way? I'm 23 years old and i'm fine with gaming, having sex and taking my turn, dumping and being dumped, flaking and being flaked on, i'm fine with it all as long as it brings the fun (sex) i want. I'm too focused on my career to think about any other commitments, anyways.

But that won't be this way forever. I'm about to obtain my degree as an MD and, after i finish my medical residency abroad, i will want to have a family.

I want to be 34 and love a young woman. I want to be loved by her, i want to have children and live together in a nice house.

I don't want to game all my life... i don't want to act as if i'm always busy or purposely have sex with girls i don't care about so the one i do care about notices me. So we can fuck and then each go separate ways again...

I want to be clear with someone. I want to leave mundane pride behind and just answer the text the second i got it, cause i happened to have the phone in my hand. And write a text about my feelings, not just logistics.

It is simply too bitter to think that, even if get a loving wife, she'll hate me once i try to treat her as a true friend. Once i show i too am weak and scared at times.

It's cool being kids in our 20s and having fun. My University is all the direction and commitment i need.

But as my graduation approaches and an adult family life threatens to come my way, i'm longing for a relationship that's more sincere. For our reason and love to go above the basic instincts of reproduction and genes. Of alphas and of betas. I want it to be about who i am and who she is, without tags.

Will this happen someday? Or is the Red Pill really that bitter?

This desire of mine can't really all be the effects and lies of the Blue Pill my mom taught me as i grew up. Or can it?

Edit: Have you been married? Are you over 30? How does it all work by then? Please say we can eventually let the defenses down and that my household will be my safe-place. That i will cry and suffer what i must there, with a wife willing to comfort, not thinking that i'm just no longer the strong Alpha she met, but rather, a human being; both strong and weak.


[–]2CainPrice 111 points112 points  (9 children)

Even when you're all grown up, successful, involved in serious relationships with mature women, or even married, you never stop gaming women. Even if you're married, you're always gaming your wife. The game never ends. If you quit playing, you lose by default.

Now, I'm not saying you can never have a meaningful relationship with a woman. If you can marry a girl and remain her best option and have a few kids, there are reasonable odds that she'll stay with you. Even if she gets bored or too comfortable or sick of you, as long as you're still medium-attractive and she's pretty smart, it'll probably be worth it for her to stay with a medium-attractive guy who makes good money and keep her family together, versus breaking her family apart and becoming a single mom just to fuck exciting new men.

But you're suffering from a fantasy where your future wife isn't your wife, but is instead a mommy that you have sex with. You want your wife to be your support pillar. To be the custodian of your feelings and a safe person with whom you can be vulnerable. A source of comfort. Like your mommy was.

That's not what wives are for. You're supposed to take care of your wife, not vice versa. She's your companion for sex and child-rearing and maintaining a household and family. You work together to do all of that. She's not your mommy. It's not her job to be your comfort blanket when you're sad and need to cry. Your mommy and daddy were supposed to raise you so that you can stand on your own two feet without a woman's shoulder to cry on. You're past the point of needing a mommy. If you try to turn your future wife into your mommy, you'll lose her.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 28 points29 points  (4 children)

As i wrote the post, i thought to myself "Maybe i'm just trying to get a mommy" and you seem to have seen that.
I have saved your post, for it speaks only the truth.

Perhaps i haven't matured enough. Sure, i can obtain enough sex to satisfy me and i don't rely on girls to handle my emotions.
But i think the second one's only possible cause i've been using my career to bury my feelings. Haven't yet learned how not to feel empty or alone at the end of the day.

[–]Ricklogical 37 points38 points  (1 child)

You may feel more empty and more alone in the future.

The sooner you learn no one fills that hole but you the better.

Never expect any woman, even one you begin to LTR, to last forever. Never expect them to just magically remain loyal, trustworthy, interested. People change, the more you commit and share with them the more they can take from you.

They are never you, they are always still a separate entity no matter what they say, or do. All of those things can change. Enjoy them as they are as long as they are, but TRP is set up to keep you awake to the ugly possibilities, not the hard truths, but the possible realities that are occurring all over the world right now.

Divorce is very common at every level and for good reason. It rewards a woman and in many ways punishes the man. If you enter into that contract, you are submitting to her in a very specific legal way, and pretending legally that you two have no chance of changing course for the rest of your lives.

That just is not true, yet legally it allows you to get fucked out of so much if/when things change with a very high probability.

Not totally, not completely, and not every time. There are plenty of great stories out there as well, but those you will enjoy. You just need to be steel inside to take on and handle the worst should it come to pass.

Protect yourself and be powerful brother. Enjoy your future, expect it to change, expect disasters, they are coming. Who cares about expecting good times? You will love them, better they be a surprise.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[–]lookoutitscaleb 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Therapists are always there to tell your secrets to and cry to them about the struggles of life.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm, that's a pretty good solution, i'll give you that

[–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen to this guy^

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is correct. This is part of the redpill the struggle never subsides. These are the default relationships between women & men & to confuse this is problematic.

[–]1morescoobysnacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comments are always really solid Cain. This is some shit straight out of Way Of The Superior Man. I've read a lot of books. That book struck a lot of really deep chords about what it means to be a man. Maybe the most important book I've ever read.

[–]yes_kid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have to disagree. She can be all of these things. It's just highly unlikely in today's social climate.

[–]Kabuki431 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Honestly red pill has nothing to do with women. They are and always will be a byproduct for male.

The whole concept is to improve your self. That should be your focus and mission, seems like you are trying to distract yourself from your mission.

[–]GucciGangBucks 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is why it pisses me off when people tried to ban this sub. It’s mostly a male self improvement page. Learning red pill I’ve became a better dresser (ditched the Jordan’s, and now wear boots/dress shoes like a man), make more money, work harder, focus more things I enjoy, became lean, picked up hobbies. Want to know what was the product of all that? Women giving me IOIs and women naturally being drawn to me. I hardly have to work to pickup women because I understand red pill methods now. It wasn’t like this for me before red pill awareness.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Great encouragement, mate. Also what i needed to hear. Thanks a ton, best of luck for you as well.

[–]yesbuthereswhy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

25 and currently married for 3 years.

You need to have your heart broken a few times before you realize how women truly work. Regardless of however many women you’ve had you either a) have not had enough or b) never got close enough to wife a woman and watch her ghost your ass.

When you’re married the clock resets every day. All of your good deeds from yesterday are erased. However, none of your mistakes will be forgotten. You’ve got to be alpha every damn day all damn day. Your girlfriend or wife is not going to put up with you being a pussy. When I started to let my guard I found TRP because my wife started to lose respect for me.

I thought that it was okay to complain, share my fears and my problems. It’s not. They will insist that you tell them everything and when you do, it’s not want they want anymore. They will resent you and judge you as being less of a man. They do this subconsciously with no idea what they’re doing. Us RP men really do see exactly what’s going on and that is why it’s so hard to do this. Being redpilled and married is redpill on hardmode. You can’t just next your wife as easily as some random thot.

If you want to have a wife who will slowly resent and hate you, do everything the movies, television, music and comedians say. Don’t be surprised when her interest fades and she either dumps you or makes you dump her. If you want to have a happy wife you’ve got to be man enough to be the bad guy when necessary. Women want a man that isn’t afraid of them and if you let your guard down you’re finished. They need to know that you have options and they were chosen by you.

You either play the game or the game plays you.

[–]oytrp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Has nothing to do with bitterness, this is just reality.

Your relationship with your hypothetical wife will be based on the sum of your parts.

You can get away with texting immediately occasionally, or spilling your feelings occasionally, as long as you own the rest of your shit. The name of the game is attraction. You can get away with a lot more unattractive behaviors when you have a 6 pack.

But make no mistake, every time you show weakness to your wife, she will find you less attractive. If you make yourself too available (i.e. you always drop everything and text her immediately) she will find you less attractive.

This is just a fact of life. You can cry about it, and swear off commitment forever. Or you can take it as a challenge to consistently be your best. This is why having a LTR is TRP on hard mode.

[–]Throwaway_Sobriquet 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Over 30 and have been married. What you want doesn't exist. Your choices are TRP (if you want to play the game and have women in your life) or MGTOW (if you don't want to play the game and therefore won't have women in your life). Sorry, the pill is that bitter.

[–]DeontologicalSanders 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is simply too bitter to think that, even if get a loving wife, she'll hate me once i try to treat her as a true friend.

She won't hate you. She just won't want to fuck you.

If you're cool with that, then go ahead.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's only bitter if you perceive it that way. The reason it seems bitter is because it doesn't correlate with your expectations. The way you were raised by society (SP - societal programming). Now that you've learned how things really are there will be growing pains. It's like changing lanes on the highway in a really slow car. It's possible but it'll take some work.

The most important thing is to figure out how things actually work, and separate your judgment of them so the 2 are put in different boxes and handled individually. Reality is reality. That won't change. Your perception of it however - that can change.

[–]person8445 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree. Happiness = reality - expectations

[–]___Lana___ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

My King is alpha and has always been like that.

I’ve always seeked an alpha male, without really knowing it. I mostly dated assholes. To many, I was only a toy, because I truly wanted to please them and make anything they wanted. I was craving for a leader, someone who would firmly guide me in life, being both dominant and protective.

I took me years before I found him. I met him in 2014. We’ve been together for 4.5 years now. We plan to marry and have kids in a few years. I’m 27 and he’s 32 (he’s a doctor btw, I work in audit). We have both demanding jobs. I consider myself as independent, I never ask him to pay anything for me.

But we share more then a joint bank account. We share dreams. Laughters. Golf. Parties. Friends. Food tastes. Fun. Restaurants. Travels. Emotions. Hard sex. We share with each other our darkest thoughts. The hardest moments. Our deepest fears.

Is he less alpha when he cries in my arms than when he fucks my brain out of me? No.

A true alpha never stops to be one.

We are both very new to TRP and although we agree with many of its principles, we sometimes see the limits of it, or sometimes we do not understand some stuff.

Of course the ‘game’ doesn’t really stop. He’s still careful with me, sometimes he has to yell at me or show that he’s unhappy because I misbehaved. He sets boundaries and drives me firmly. And I trust his lead. He still shows me sometimes that he could have any other woman if he wanted. That I must earn his commitment. And it makes me work harder to please him.

Our relationship is based on Love and Trust. He protects me and I support him.

TRP is a game for betas. But it’s a lifestyle for true alphas. A true alpha doesn’t even think to the game/rules/techniques and so on. It’s just natural for him, it doesn’t request any effort, it’s just the way they are. So work on yourself, become a true alpha. And it will be natural to you too.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems like precisely what i wanted to read. Good insight!

[–]casemodz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly it's always good to have "female friends" you can go to if the wife is being a cunt. She needs to realize you aren't her beta bitch she can walk all over and she can't use sex as tool. I would wait 5 years until marriage comes up. Make sure she has a high enough sex drive. And not just starfish in bed and let's you fuck her...but actually wants to just as much as you

[–]jcrpta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the record: I'm married and over 30. I discovered RP a few years ago when I was > < this close to divorcing my wife.

I won't pretend things are 100% perfect now - they're not - but RP has helped me more than anything else. The way I see it, RP is comprised a number of components:

  • "This is how women, on the whole, behave"
  • "This is how many men interact with women"
  • "This is how you can interact to your advantage"

I don't see any part of that as being bitter. I see it as very dry, factual information.

What the reader does with that information is down to the reader.

Now, I don't deny that this information may be difficult to swallow. It may require the reader to completely re-evaluate pretty much everything they think they knew about society.

Nor do I claim that it is 100% perfect in 100% of cases. Humans simply don't work that way. But they don't need to. If RP logic works 80-90% of the time, it's still a pretty good rule of thumb.

[–]jhx264 1 point2 points  (0 children)

- " I don't want to game all my life "

Dude even when you're married, you're still going to need to be gaming your girl if you want to keep her around. Read The Rational Male or any articles about LTR or marriage game.

[–]TheWorldOfPugs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s something you’ve gotta accept. I’m feeling the same way now and it’s destroying me on the inside

[–]moreinhoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her "loveliness" has an inverse relationship with how much you commitment you invest. But for some girls, the gradient is not too steep.

Your best bet is to really find someone who is crazy for you as you start dating, so her decrease in giving you her best self is not too drastic once you get married.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could write a lengthy essay, but I'll keep it short. The happy marriage is a casino. Many men gamble against the odds. Most lose. Some win. It's fun to gamble. It hurts to lose. To win you have to be patient and employ strategy. A lot of time luck plays a heavy influence.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I want to be 34 and love a young woman. I want to be loved by her, i want to have children and live together in a nice house.

Ah, the myth of cashing out of the sexual marketplace. Sorry fella, this whole "love" thing is a myth. A lie to small children.

It is simply too bitter to think that, even if get a loving wife, she'll hate me once i try to treat her as a true friend. Once i show i too am weak and scared at time

it is bitter because you NEED that. you want a security blanket. this is weak and you know it.

Will this happen someday? Or is the Red Pill really that bitter?

The pill is even more bitter than you think now. BUT.... life on the other side is pretty darned good.

Edit: Have you been married?

no

Are you over 30?

yes

How does it all work by then?

for me: better than ever before.

Please say we can eventually let the defenses down and that my household will be my safe-place.

no. the household is your LEAST safe place, especially if married. Basically if your SO has the right to pull the rug out from under you and cry to the police "I feel so scared" and your post-separation life is miserable... she WILL find a way to tell you this, and you WILL live your life in terror of it.

The only safety is in numbers. Numbers of options. Your household/wife is a threat and a liability.

That i will cry and suffer what i must there, with a wife willing to comfort, not thinking that i'm just no longer the strong Alpha she met, but rather, a human being; both strong and weak.

You cannot marry your mother.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoah, brother, all of those are pretty solid points. I thank you for your answer

[–]NotaNPC 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Married Red Pill and a Red Pill Women are a thing feel free to read those sidebars.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I've read those. But i find them insufficient. I was looking to directly ask members of TRP who knew enough about the subject to be helpful and offer some personalized advice.

For this reason, i'm posting at asktrp. To ask people who read TRP.

[–]NotaNPC 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I read the red pill, played around and now in a LTR. Both of us are red pill and we can send cute shit to each other without her thinking I'm a pussy. It's all about vetting and being able to leave.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Maybe that's the trick? Getting a woman who's also red pilled? Otherwise i see dead ends!

[–]NotaNPC 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Some girls can be red pill without knowing the terminology just like some guys are alpha without having to read TRP. Finding girls who are naturally submissive, comes from traditional backgrounds good relationship with their fathers, has a good social media are good starting points.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Unrelated question, but was my english hard to understand? It is not my native language, but i really thought i had a pretty great fluency in it, haha.

Perhaps, mate, i could use another look at the theory.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not difficult to understand at all mate, just when I read people's posts that don't speak English as their first language it seems "formal" in the way it's wrote, if that makes sense.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, i see! Well, that would make perfect sense, given they don't really teach slang or laid-back language at the academies, haha.

[–]Nergaal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After serving the blue for decades, the red pill seems very bitter by comparison. Depends on how much you fed yourself on the blue pill

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly my whole two decades, haha. TRP opened my eyes since only half a year or so.

[–]HIJKelemenoP 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Rollo is married...

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Who's Rollo, mate?

[–]Lotek752 0 points1 point  (1 child)

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, i was already shown, haha. The author of the Rational Male! Noneother!

[–]Nov51605 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the red pill is that bitter.

It's always a game, even married - shit tests non-stop.

The dark side many times is that Once a woman is married, particularly in her 20's/early thirties, the best sex she'll ever have is with "the other guy" while you're her provider. Doesn't matter how big your dick is, etc.. it's the nature of the beast.
This video by Ronin Man is well over an hour explaining that, but loaded with great stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0rczdj_ngM&t=3s

[–]54L5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like culture plays a huge role. I’m from a middle eastern background. I dated a white girl for a year and it was the worse relationship I could ever imagine myself. A complete slut who has her tap open for any dude when the chance comes. No modesty.. no exclusivity. I see this a lot in the western culture where women have this sexual power where they can fuck and do anything and they are like unicorns because of the sexualization of society.

In our culture it’s different women are taught to be submissive and let the man be the man. They do have big mouths but the thought of a divorce will shun them because no body wants someone who’s already been married. I don’t accept women being hit and abused etc but I sure know if I ever settle down it’ll be someone from a middle eastern or eastern cultures the WEST IS FUCKED WITH THE 60% divorce rate majority started by women.

[–]Radkin007 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Read The Rationale Male by senior Rollo Tommassi

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, i didn't know he was the author. Thank you for correcting my ignorance!

[–]Johnnyvile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think relationships are completely possible. The rough things you learn from TRP are kind of a way to break you. Essentially breakdown all that fantasy bullshit you leaned from society growing up. Understand AWALT, there is no One, focus on getting yourself together. It’s helpful so guys don’t waste their time catching Oneitis for some girl that will never hookup with them or the first girl that does. You know not to go around trying to get women by being that fake romantic nice guy shit that never works. Also have many relationships and ONS to learn, get real relationship experience, and know what you are okay with or not okay with in a partner. After all that your chance of finding a girl you could have an LTR with is a lot better.

[–]fignootins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get married = Gamble losing half of everything you worked for

Have kids = Gamble having another man raise them like a cuck if your wife ever decides to leave you, because the court will choose her.

Gamble your life if you want.

[–]room_303 0 points1 point  (3 children)

33 no house, young girls still go for chad over me at higher smv - OP may be lucky to have a job in his 30's if he takes off his rose tinted glasses.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Job's not the problem. Already landed a job interview at the German Hospital of my liking. I also excelled in Medschool and am fluent in three languages, which will undoubtely help me. Precisely because i know it distracts from finding how lonely i feel, i work hard at my career - it's been the only thing of relevance i do after all.

However, you are right stating i have rose tinted glasses. I do want to believe girls may be any different. That they will want for my heart and feelings instead of my money and general disinterest

[–]room_303 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ok you've done some school - you haven't sat in your job for 8+ hours a day for six years then possibly realized you despise it after getting in debt and laying about in college for 4 years, or you're getting laid off or the world is hitting you hard from the blind side to change your personality and viewpoint completely. Futures are never how you imagine them.

[–]LodestarAuriga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't argue with this reasoning.

It's also rhetorically sound to say that circumstances (as well as myself) could certainly change. Guess i can only hope i do love my career as much as i think i do, hahah.

[–]rockyp32 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I agree this forum just makes it seem like havjng a wife that u love and loves u and having a family together is impossible. I know it’s hard but it seems like u guys think it’s impossible. Look at jordan Peterson he’s married to just one girl and he’s probabaly where u guys get a lot of ur info from

[–]HotWaffler 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What a bold statement from someone who has clearly never read the sidebar. Also haven't seen "ur" since like 2009, so thanks for that "rocky".

Edit: and since you've shown your ignorance on the subject, quit giving advice when it's clear you dont know anything about this sub. Hence why all your advice gets downvoted.

[–]rockyp32 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was more of a question to why u guys feel that way and if u really do feel that way or if I’m just confused. but I guess i got u triggered

[–]warthundersfw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One problem here is you get people trying to be so alpha and an asshole on the internet. In real life you have to be social and not bitter. If you’re in top 10% in looks you just be friendly and escalate with those obviously interested . Don’t adopt the negativity in these places. That’s a path towards inceldpm even if you’re hot