I already posted this question in r /sex, read it's replies here That's a somewhat mainstream (not-so-RP) audience. Now I want to get the RP perspective. I'll cut & paste the question exactly as it was, here goes...
Very often, with the various GF's I've had over the years, I get this feeling that if I don't make her orgasm, I'm no good. Note my choice of words, I didn't say "if she doesn't have an orgasm" I said "if I don't make her orgasm". It's as if I have to be the one to make it happen, and she can't do it via her own effort when she's with me..... Meanwhile, 99% of my own orgasms are the result of my own thrusting effort, with the exception of the occasional BJ or skilled cowgirl.
I would guess that 95% of the women who have orgasmed while having sex with me was the result of my effort. Either I brought her there with my fingers (non PIV) or spent a lot of time banging her clitorus with my public bone area during (PIV) missionary position. Only one girl I've been with was really good at riding on top and rubbing her clit against me as she rode (and orgasmed), and one actually reached down and fingered/masturbated herself to orgasm as I was doing her PIV missionary style.
Once a woman said to me something like "why did you get to come and I didn't?". to which I replied "why didn't you at least move your hips instead of just laying there?" That relationship didn't last long.
So why am I made to feel as though her orgasm is my responsibilty?