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Girlfriend Behaved Inappropriately, How do i respond? (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

Last night, my gf got together with her female friends and got shitfaced - posted videos and pics of herself spilling alcohol everywhere and top less with only a bra on on her snapchat story.

Understandably, I was pissed - my friends saw all this on snapchat too. Initially, before the get together, she had told me there would be no males there. Today, she called and apologized, and told me there were two guys who she did not know were coming beforehand - they smoked weed and left, according to her.

While I am fairly certain she did not do anything with these guys, how do I make it clear to her that I don't tolerate this?


[–]FrameWalker 124 points125 points  (2 children)

Dude shes a gonner. Topless on social media is hard next wake up. Your reputation is at risk

[–]PoppinMadPillz 31 points32 points  (1 child)

100%

[–]2Bait4Me 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Next that shit, but you wont. Won't be shocked when you next post "My GF admitted XYZ, what should i do?"

[–]tslextslex 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Drunk. Drunk in public. Undressed in public. Undressed on social media. Out with guys after she said there'd only be girls.

Seriously, what more do you need to next her? Does she have to combine all these in one act? Pictures of her drunk, naked and in flagrante dilecto on social media?

Next.

[–]abdada 90 points91 points  (22 children)

You don't make it clear, you just downgrade her to the plate she is.

Stop fskcing investing in women who get drunk or drink socially. They're NOT LTR material.

[–]dodiat 23 points24 points  (3 children)

A fucking men. OP, thats trashy behavior in my book (and most other books). Im sure a man like yourself has no time to waste on silliness like that. You shouldn't spend time having to worry about stupid shit like that, so reinvest your time somewhere else. If anything, she'll recognize her carelessness and actually start acting right. But the correct course of action is probably to demote her or next her because if you try to fix her or explain your feelings about the situation, then you'll just lower her opinion of you as a man. Also, you really shouldn't waste time trying to fix someone else's trashy behavior, that's not your responsibility.

Remember that women will ALWAYS do whatever the fuck they want to unless incentivized not to. She probably thinks she could do that stupid shit ( which she KNOWS you wouldn't like) and just get away with it by saying "sorry:(." Women think they can do whatever they want without consequence, so show her the consequences of her behavior by not investing your time in her.

As a man, remember that the majority of your time should be invested in improving your condition, not worrying about infidelity and dumbass behavior.

[–]abdada 14 points15 points  (1 child)

That's exactly it.

I haven't had an LTR in over a decade who drinks socially. My current LTR doesn't drink, my last one didn't drink, etc, etc. I just have no desire to be with a weak addict.

I've had plates who drank, but if they got drunk on the regular I just nexted them.

Not all women drink. If the only women you meet are alcoholics, you're low value.

[–]kellykebab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome response. Once again, "talking it out" is almost never the answer.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Stop fskcing investing in women who get drunk or drink socially. They're NOT LTR material.

This is one of the best lines of advice you can give any man. When you weed these women out of your pool, you'd be surprised at how much better you do across the board.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Hey mate, how does one go about downgrading from LTR to plate? Do you officially break up but keep seeing her or do you withdraw from the relationship while still seeing her?

When you enter an LTR you're both expected not to cheat, so plating other women without telling her she's no longer your LTR is like fucking behind her back.

Honest question, what's the course of action taken to demote from LTR to plate?

[–]abdada 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I personally don't downgrade LTRs to plates. I end the relationship and walk away and if she pursues me I tell her we can still have a relationship but not that relationship.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Exact situation I'm in, ended it after I lost the attraction, she "didn't want to lose me", now she's nothing more than a booty call and she knows it and she's fine with it.

Thanks for the confirmation, glad I'm on the right track.

[–]abdada 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's basically the only way to re-frame a failed relationship: let it expire and if they come crawling back, make sure it is 100% on your terms.

If you roll backwards and look, you probably let your frame slip in the relationship which is why things fell apart.

[–]banica24 2 points3 points  (1 child)

LTR to plate isn't a dope idea. She'll start catching feelings, you'll reject her again and she will socially destroy you. Could mess you up

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true, I've been dodging shit tests(?) like crazy now more than when she was an LTR, I already let her go once, thinking of doing it again. While the sex's getting better and better, the constant "do you still love me/care about me/I love you/please text me more/I feel unwanted..." (yes I heard all of these) put me off.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just curious - do you not drink as well?

[–]abdada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not a fan of depressants. I probably had all of 3 or 4 drinks last year, and all of them were bought/provided by someone else and usually wine at dinner.

Life is too good to add depressants to my body.

[–]Equilibriun -1 points0 points  (6 children)

This. Maybe not even this. Bet money she fucked one or both of those bros. It's not her fault she was drunk and high

[–]GillWillPill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would put money on it too given that she already started to trickle truth.

[–]abdada 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Who cares if she did or she didn't, a feminine woman doesn't go out drinking. Don't LTR masculine women.

"If she smokes, she pokes" we used to say in the 80s. Today smoking isn't popular but if she gets drunk ever, she's really not worth investing for the long haul.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they've gotten drunk at all in the past should I keep them as a plate as well?

[–]Equilibriun 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I would care, who wants a plate that isn't sexually safe?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't LTR masculine women.

Literally what the dude said.

Plate = don't invest a lot.

[–]PantsonFire1234 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Dude dude dude.

She's getting drunk, she's smoking weed, she's getting shitfaced and she's on the verge of showing her tits. These two guys were attractive and new for her (she tried to impress them) and she's already planning to leave you.

That's why she's starting to party again like she hasn't done in a while. That's what the whole 'taking off her shirt' thing was about. She's implementing lady game and looking for her next Chad or Branch swing.

Break up with her- right now

Offer no other explanation than "this isn't working for me, you're not my type after all".

Then soft next and cut contact. If she explodes- hard next.

[–]summervijx 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If clothes are coming off, and you ain't at the beach or in the bedroom, then she's not LTR material.

[–]nastynickdr 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Not LTR material man. Plate at best.

[–]airmaildolphin 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Why did she post those pics and vids online if not to attract attention from men? So, what I'm saying is, who cares if there were men at the party or not. In her drunken state, she was deliberately trying to get attention from guys who are not you. Case closed.

[–]waspynerd 13 points14 points  (0 children)

IMO, she just demonstrated she's not LTR material. Why date a girl like this when there's others out there that will respect you?

[–]SexistFlyingPig 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You cannot control her behavior. If you don't like it, then leave. Just pack up your shit and leave. If it's your place, then pack her shit up and leave it on the lawn.

You don't have to tell her that her behavior is unacceptable to you. You don't have to demand that she change. But you don't have to be with her if you don't want to be. That is the extent of your power and control.

Exercise it.

[–]willyari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Word!

[–]banica24 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you've been together less than a year your give a fuck o'meter should be at -20

If you start complaining / clinging / showing signs of jealousy her vagina will dry up for you and she really will branch to another dude (if she hasn't done so already)

You shouldn't have to negotiate shit, one of the best TRP pieces of advice I accepted - if she's not your mother you should reveal nothing about your feelings. At least in early stages of remotely considering getting exclusive with a girl. Your confidence, gains and witty/clever behavior should be seen from miles away and when it is she won't dare thinking of fucking up.

[–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Today, she called and apologized, and told me there were two guys who she did not know were coming beforehand

That's the beginning of a trickle truth if i ever heard it.

they smoked weed and left, according to her.

Yeah... right.

Dig a little bit for your own entertainment and experience. Keep poking and asking questions and watch the actual truth come out. It should be a good lesson for you for AWALT and let you know what you are into for the next woman.

[–]returnofthemackX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you really want this shit by your side?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plate or next. It's a done deal.

[–]F_Dingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they smoked weed and left, according to her

They smoked weed, fucked, then the two guys left. What a load of shit.

You've got two rational options here:

1) Demotion to casual fuck status

2) Zero further interaction with her

[–]willyari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Break up.

[–]Jakei34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So like your LTR had just rehearsed to see if she's true LTR material. There are other bitches lined up behind her, wanting you badly.

Unfortunately, she shows that she is not LTR value.

NEXT

[–]Redpillgawd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She also lied to you she def knew guys were there probably blew one as well

[–]eccentricrealist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't respect you or herself enough to keep her fucking top on. Forget that bitch.

[–]chief_slap_ahoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pull the girlfriend card. She no longer is worthy of it.

[–]Yoji_84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am amazed you even came here to ask that. That's such a blatant disrespect that it's not even funny. Hard next her now.

[–]ecosci 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those alphas fucked her and she knew about them being there she had her lies already lined up remember dont ever trust them and protect your heart.

[–]BenOfMahogany 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get rid of her immediately. Downgrade or soft next. Just don't let people know you hit it

[–]ShreckOpener88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hardenn Up

[–]bigdickbanditss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best response was to go for the door immediately

The second best is to do it now.