Working with All Women (self.asktrp)
submitted 1 day ago by MMASpartan77
Hey guys - recently started a new job in advertising. My whole team is women minus myself and one gay male - any tips on how to survive and how to act would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
[–]10211799107 141 points142 points143 points 1 day ago (5 children)
Agree with making up a girlfriend.
[–]menial_optimist 21 points22 points23 points 1 day ago (2 children)
I'm fortunate in that it's mainly women at my work, but they're all over 50, and over 80% of them are cambodian, filipina or mixed, so they have a certain level of no-nonsense. They of course like to gossip but nothing too extreme. Hell they even sexually joke with the few older male coworkers we have, shit so intense that anywhere else in corporate America I could see HR getting involved. Despite such a laid back attitutde I generally keep quiet and don't comment too much. At times it makes me feel like I'm just a socially awkward retard but then again when you're 28 it's hard to find interest in what a 60 year old coworker has to say.
[–]10211799107 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (1 child)
You can still improve on your reputation by engaging in good conversation it just depends what the content is.
With those types usually if you show an interest in their language or culture by asking normal things like how do you say hello in Spanish/Filipino or a certain ethnic dish they recommend you try and make it will give you the reputation of being a good guy in their eyes. Its mainly manipulating people to instill a certain reputation. Avoiding shitry topics is obvious but staying quiet in my opinion is not the correct play.
[–]menial_optimist 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I did exactly what you suggested when I started working there. I mean it's not like I never talk. To put it in better context most people working there have been there for at least 1-10 years so they're all very familiar. Meanwhile I've worked there for 4 months so the attachment is less.
[–]imtheoneimmortal 4 points5 points6 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Tl dr: just work
[–]trpchecker 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I had worked with a lot of women and let me tell you this. This guy got it to the T.
To ado to this, They'll probe the living shit out of you to talk. Don't do it. Everything you say can and will be used against you holds so true in this environment. Remember to not step down on important values for any women.
[–]Mr_Badass 37 points38 points39 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Tell them you love your girlfriend. If you don't have one make one up. It will make your work environment more peaceful and the old women will prevent any of the younger women from hitting on you.
[–]stylesm11 18 points19 points20 points 1 day ago (5 children)
For the love out God don't hit anyone, word will spread like wildfire. Do not reciprocate any affection in a public setting or your job is fucked you'll be a black sheep
[–]MMASpartan77[S] 14 points15 points16 points 1 day ago (4 children)
I have a gf - and I don’t shit when I eat - I’m looking more so advice on how to do my job well, not get involved in their shit and advance my position
[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 13 points14 points15 points 1 day ago* (3 children)
Read about how women work together: http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/05/female-social-matrix-introduction.html?m=1
In summary, you can’t advance your position. They are not concerned about rewarding on merit (think about the feelings of those won’t don’t get rewarded!) but seek to maintain consensus while subtly undermining the mother hen.
All-women-groups are not environment where you can stand out - they will resent you and cut you off. Best you can do is not generate drama by not being too good.
[–]enfier 3 points4 points5 points 1 day ago (1 child)
The game isn't really that difficult once you are in tune with it. As a guy, it's pretty easy to pretend to be oblivious while being observant until you understand all of the subtle maneuvering. That gives you a golden opportunity to wait for exactly the right moment and deliver a devastating but completely deniable nuke from orbit. I recommend doing it once and only once but in a way that everyone sees the fallout before going right back to your blissfully oblivious act. In fact you should pretend not to understand at all what just happened.
That ought to be enough to keep anyone from fucking with you...
[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 0 points1 point2 points 23 hours ago (0 children)
damn that is fine Power skills you have here. Machiavelli wuold be proud
[–]Flintblood 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Excellent reference and advice. Are used to be in a situation like this and I was clueless as to what to do. I kept quiet, but by keeping quiet I also fell short in endearing myself to my female supervisor.
[–]campa56la 10 points11 points12 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I work with mostly females at a medical office. They like to gossip and talk about b/s all day which can distract you from your workload. Don't be an asshole that doesn't talk to any of them. They'll ask you for a guy's opinion on things. They'll also gang up on you if you argue with any of them. Tell them you have a gf and be polite.
[–]Ubiquitous-Toss 14 points15 points16 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Don't be too friendly with any of them. Keep your feelings in control and absolutely do not shit where you eat. I'm two years into financial institutions and thankfully most of the women here are post menopausal
[–]snowdenlaydying 13 points14 points15 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I also work in a predominantly female environment. First bit of advice goes without saying; don't shit where you eat. Second bit of advice is to avoid close association with the gay guy. He is not your ally. Thirdly; casually mention "your partner". Never specify your 'partners' gender. Let them guess and gossip behind your back. It's useful ammunition against false accusations by either the women or the gays... "I'm straight/I'm gay."
[–]edargham 7 points8 points9 points 1 day ago (0 children)
[–]Zanford 4 points5 points6 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Read the 48 Laws of Power or at least a summary. Such as "think as you like, but behave like others." Watch and learn at your workplace. Don't get involved in drama or politics.
Document all your work so that if someone tries to steal credit you can prove what you did.
Likewise try to have important convos over email, so that's documented. And/or, after in person convos, send an email saying "Here's my understanding of action items etc. from our chat. Reply if you have other thoughts. X Y Z"
Don't shit where you eat.
[–]Prodigalrockstar 13 points14 points15 points 1 day ago (0 children)
fuck all of them. even him.
[–]Peter_B_Long 6 points7 points8 points 1 day ago (0 children)
As a creative designer, I've worked with both men & women and (currently) all men.
I highly recommend working with as least amount of women as possible, especially in a creative / marketing field, where everything is less technical and more impulsive.
If you must make the best out of your situation, I recommend just being as professional as possible. DO NOT get friendly with them. Don't try to practice game with them. If anything, all you should do is apply social skills to them (assertive, persuasive, etc.)
If they make any negative comments or affect your work life in any negative way, I suggest you go straight to HR or your manager. It may seem like a beta thing to do, but trying to deal with women in a work place directly is the last thing you want to do. Just distance yourself from them whenever it's not work related.
[–]sixtysixpixistix 3 points4 points5 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I work retail with nearly all women. (Mostly in the stockroom shipping/receiving)
My advice to you is to learn how to small-talk and to not court any of them.
[–]DownyGall 14 points15 points16 points 1 day ago (0 children)
It honestly sounds like you should quit. All women except a gay guy? Jesus, it sucks working with women.
[–]jagdecat 8 points9 points10 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Welcome to Paradise. Be the controlling guy even over your boss. Be prepared to meet some of the most sluttiest girls of any industry and use them to your advantage.
Advertising is a lot of fun and lots of chances for them to hook you up with models and seriously sexy clients (don't know why media girls and marketing Dept seems to attract those variety).
Enjoy the rides. Just be dominating and don't take shit.
[–]Flintblood 2 points3 points4 points 1 day ago (0 children)
If you are too quiet, you risk them labeling you as someone who is not a team player. But obviously, you can’t go too far in the other direction. Find away to be fun, but not controversial. I also agree with the fake girlfriend thing.Start planning your exit strategy now. Work there for a few months and then find another place with more balance.
[–]Delirious911 2 points3 points4 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Don't let them push you around. Bitches love to team up on the only dude in the office. In the short-term it may work but long-term, you really have to consider whether you can put up with vapid conversation and typical high-school female behavior b/c that's what it'll be. There are teams of women in my office who insist on competing for the crown of "coolest team." Not productive, or competent....as long as they're "coolest" and the Queen Bee, they couldn't give fewer shits about the organization or its mission.
[–]An_Evil_burrito 2 points3 points4 points 1 day ago (0 children)
DO NOT SCREW ANYONE FROM WORK, DO NOT FLIRT.
YOU WILL GET FIRED.
YOU WILL BE SUED.
YOU MAY END UP IN JAIL.
[–]rn7889 2 points3 points4 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Nurse here...Don't make a single suggestion that anything in the world could be sexual. Just be a guy. Once they know who you are and trust you then you can open that can of worms..But NEVER suggest any colleague is attractive. Also, always remember if you are speaking to one girl you are speaking to all. Anything you say will be spread like the plague.
[–]NeedingAdvice86 4 points5 points6 points 1 day ago (1 child)
Learn to me a normal social person and get along with associates of every stripe.
Part of being an intelligent, successful, grown ass, mature man is developing the socials skills and attitudes to be an productive member of a group or groups.
Your very first step will have to be to change your fucking attitude....these are work associates and it is YOUR JOB to integrate yourself in to this environment not go in with a shitty attitude that you are force to work with such subhumans as females and blah, blah, blah.
I can guarantee that 95% of any problems you develop will be because of your attitude and behavior, not that of your co-workers.
[–]IronMonk48 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
This really needs more upvotes. Too many people here are circle jerking their anger towards women.
[–]flashcash12 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (1 child)
Avoid talking about RAPE
Religion, Abortion, Politics, Ex’s
Say nothing about political or controversial
Keep your personal life to normal hobbies or travel
Give absolutely no advice
[–]speed3_freak 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (0 children)
In the real world, this should just be advice for being in a professional work environment. And if someone else brings it up, just nod in agreement and don't add anything. If it's controversial, don't nod and don't add anything. The amount of personal info you share should be kept to 'normal people facebook' levels. I got a new car. I went to Florida and it was a great trip. I have two dogs. I've been married for 10 years. I grew up in whereversville and went to college at State. How bout that football game this past weekend. That kind of stuff.
[–]chrishagins 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (0 children)
[–]HurricaneHugues 2 points3 points4 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Its just a shit show all around. You will be dragged into their estrogenic drama before you know it. I would suggest you start sending out resumes to other places while u work there.
[–]cenie 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Just focus on the job. Simple, easy, don't over complicate it.
[–]nicyhasreddit 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Don't shit in the same place you eat.
[–]Ricklogical 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Be nice and make friends. Don't try to have sex with any of them, but let the ones you find attractive know they are attractive without being to blatant.
Learn the way they think before sharing anything more than surface level, everyone you don't know well is best considered an amiable enemy.
[–]Iwantmypasswordback 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Beware the gossip bc it will be prevalent. Listen to it and pay attention to what they’re saying but DO NOT participate. Also do not tell anyone else what you heard someone else saying. That is a good way to get (even more) secrets spread about you and lose their trust. They’ll already be talking about you anyway because hens will cluck but this will help minimize it.
[–]minoc_uo 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
"It's cold/hot in here"
[–]BluntMFer 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I worked at a place like that. It was soul draining! Bunch of dumbass women gossiping and avoiding work. Nothing in common besides work. Got out and I’ve been way happier.
[–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Be polite. Keep all of your interactions professional.
You can be friendly, but dont share about your personal life, dont talk gossip, don't talk about politics or religion. Stay professional.
[–]lauris652 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
When it comes to having conversations with people you have no interest to talk I just become laconic and watch my mouth. The other person gets tired of such answers and quickly understands that I am not interested.
[–]Vietnom 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
I work in a very similar environment also in advertising, and have experience in others at other companies as well. This is a common position to find yourself in in the creative industries, particularly in advertising/marketing.
My advice would be to definitely never talk about politics. Make it clear from the beginning that that stuff makes you uncomfortable and the boundaries will be respected.
Also, just take things very slowly. Be careful not to say offensive things and stay calm and relaxed. Never get super angry.
The good thing about working with all women is that if you're in the "in group" you'll be accepted and everything will be fine. It's just a matter of gaining trust by being a gentlemen for awhile and not showing your claws. But then after awhile it gets much easier once trust is built. You can get away with much more.
[–]dtyler86 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
This is unbelievable. I used to work in advertising in a department with two gay men and all female. You are in for some serious bullshit. Even before I discovered the red pill, I learned the worst of women from that department alone. They are all on tinder, they all talk shit, they all strive just to fit in, they are all obsessed with the same material bullshit and you will basically learn everything you need to know about red pill just from observing their communications and how they interact with you in the course of six months.
Sidenote, I was sexually harassed by the gay guys and blew it off like a good sport and they ended up being the only two people I really got along with in the department. I hooked up with one of the chicks and that was a huge disaster
[–]GreenWallsAndAFan 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Never get dinner/lunch alone with any of them. Don't be in a room one on one for an extended period of time, if at all. For after hours functions and work parties, do not drink, always be the second to leave.
[–]Morpheus_TNTB 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
Act like the 2nd gay Male for security purposes. You see like a faggott!
[–]TheLastMgtow 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
[–]binrobinro -1 points0 points1 point 1 day ago (1 child)
Record ALL interactions with them. They will try to mislead you and then throw you under the bus.
That’s true as well. I made a mistake a few years ago of backtracking and rechecking a female middle managers work,. Later when I was applying for a promotion position, and the female peer of mine was also applying for that position. The female middle manager found a way to get me fired on the technicality for being late returning from lunch a few times.
The amount of tardees she claimed was ludicrous and possibly made up. When I asked them to prove it with documentation, she and the female HR person blockaded me and denied my request saying that in my state they didn’t have to prove it.
Questioning another female’s work made me a target, and directly competing with a female peer and friend of hers made me a target.
That shit just doesn’t happen with men.