54
55

Had the worst sexual experience of my life last night.. (self.asktrp)

submitted by TheMightyMellow

Wasnt sure whether to post this here or over in r/sex... Figured you guys would provide more solid advice and less bullshit.

So last night me and a couple of buddies head to a local place for a beer. I see this cute, skinny, tatted girl (my fav) come in the bar with her fat, vape-smoking female neckbeard friend.

I immediately walk up to tatted chick and tell her to put her phone down and come have a drink with me and IMMEDIATELY i knew i was fucking this girl tn. She agrees and unfortunately her fat friend has to come over with her, so it goes...

Im talking with tatted chick and there are countless IOIs, shes touching me a lot and im pumped to get this girl naked. She talks about how she has zero contact with her parents (first red flag) and lives at fat friends house in her basement as they both work at starbucks together blah blah basic shit.

Tatted chick whispers in my ear that we should go back to her friends place and to bring my one buddy for fat chick which i then tell my buddy and he is understandably not pleased but still offers to go with me (what a champ).

Fast forward to fat chicks house and me and tatted chick are drunk and going at it while my buddy and fat chick are in her room smoking weed. This girl had so many fuckin tattoos it was ridiculous i loved every minute of it, shes riding me for a good five minutes and i get this girl on her stomach to hit it from the back... heres where the whole fucking night takes a u-turn.

My drunk ass was fumbling around with my dick in this dark room and i mistakenly put the tip of my dick in tatted girls ass. Now I personally have never had a desire to try anal sex with a girl, so this shit was an honest drunken mistake. She gets up and starts BALLING HER EYES OUT. She says "wtf you didnt even ask first" and starts to make a scene. I CALMLY explain that it was an honest mistake why tf are you crying. Ive made this mistake COUNTLESS times with other women and none of them gave a shit other than a quick "no no no" or "not there!"

This girl tells me to get out and goes running naked to fat chicks room and tells my buddy to get out. Im sitting there on her futon naked stunned at what the fuck just happened til fat chick comes out and asks me if i raped her friend while tatted chick is balling her eyes out in the bathroom... im absolutely stunned. I object strongly.

I suddenly realize how quickly this night has gone from great to absolutely fucked in a matter of minutes. I get dressed and me and my buddy leave and fat chick tells me not to contact her friend and im like fuckin right i aint contacting nobody after this shit.

Honestly i just felt the need to share this story somewhere as it has seriously taken me down a few pegs on my journey to get better at socializing and seducing women. I feel weird as fuck about this whole situation and honestly dont feel the desire to talk to any girls for a while for fear of some horrific shit like this happening again. My confidence feels shattered and the whole damn situation was just fucked.

Has anything like this happened to you guys before? Was this girl just insane or sexually abused as a kid?

This shit has effectively ruined my whole week, not sure how to shake this one off.

Edit: lol im glad you all enjoyed this, makes me realize its not something to fret about. Thank you for the comments.


[–]brinkleybuzz 59 points60 points  (11 children)

Lessons learned:

1) Crazy is as crazy does. Next time don't stick your dick in it.

2) Hopefully you wrapped it tight? Didn't see a condom in your story. Double strength wrapping for loco chicks with full body tats if you choose to stick your dick in crazy.

3) Improve your aim if you like to hit it from the back. Protip: use a finger or two as a guiding mechanism to improve entry precision.

[–]wax_idiotic 63 points64 points  (5 children)

For the less-aware TRP members, DO NOT DOUBLE-BAG YOUR PECKER.

Thank you.

[–]brinkleybuzz 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Guess I should clarify for the greenhorns. "Double wrapping" is /sarc. A fictional practice reserved for only the dirtiest of skanks. Literal meaning: if she's so dirty that one rubber isn't enough, you probably shouldn't do her.

[–]wax_idiotic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, my reading comprehension isn't on point today, you clearly didn't write that.

My bad, and thank you for expanding on the point. You never know what you don't know.

[–]mrpoopistan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed. There were more red flag flying around this chick than there are in Tienanmen Square.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Left thumb on asshole.

[–]tallwheel 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Even more important to wrap when you do anal.

[–]Late30sMasculist 57 points58 points  (1 child)

The fact that this bothers you so much shows that you are a very gentle, kind-hearted person. Some heavily tattooed woman will be lucky to call herself your wife some day.

[–]LordThunderbolt 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It was an accident and she reacted her way. You didn't mean to, so move on. Don't make a big deal out of it.

[–]DiggerClam 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Haha, chill Winston.

Seriously, turn your last sentence around and just shake it off. You will be fucking laughing your ass off about this experience soon enough.

[–]TheMightyMellow[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Thanks for this and yea eventually but i just cringe every time i think about it for now

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You cringe because of her reaction which is basically a rejection, and because of the risk that was when the word "rape" came up.

But the reality is that it was simply a bad set of circumstances. That chick probably has had a horror story with a guy trying to force anal on her, or she had heard bad stories before. It's not your fault, except from the fact you could have expected some weird shit happening from a girl covered in tattoos (i admit I'm attracted to that too, but I have to stay aware that's a massive cry for attention, aka big red flag).

An ex of mine, at the beginning of our relationship had "freezes" not too dissimilar. We'd start having sex, she was horny and then something would happened that make her think of some bad previous experience (possibly rape), and she'd just have some sort of anxiety attack, freeze off, get silent, and I'd have to gently calm her down. This was pre red pill so I stayed in that relationship (and with her confidence in me increasing, it stopped happening), but now with redpill hindsight, i realise this could have led to disaster had I not been able to manage it properly.

[–]landon042 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good advice above, it's hard to think about, but when were all older we'll only have these things to laugh about.

mine as well make it good

[–]HappyMexican 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Tatted chick whispers in my ear that we should go back to her friends place and to bring my one buddy for fat chick which i then tell my buddy and he is understandably not pleased but still offers to go with me (what a champ).

I am usually this guy. It's not easy taking one for the team. Pore one for my fellow martyr. The unsung hero.

You are the villain. Your homie goes all Jesus and dies for your sins, then you accidentally anally fuck them sins.

SHAME!

[–]EZikez 26 points27 points  (3 children)

LOL, a good story for when you are old in the old folks home :)

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    He slipped on a banana and fell into her.

    [–]SisyphosOnTop[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    '...Remember pal? You had to babysit that fat chick and all of a sudden my chick comes running out into the room because I dipped it in the wrong hole. I tell you guys... Those were the days.. :D'

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]Drakane1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Reason asshat

    [–]Speedracer1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Deleted to prevent doxing

    [–]SisyphosOnTop[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Well.. It could have been worse.

    You could not have gotten it up. Or you could have been too drunk, end up with the fat chick and not getting it up with her, or worse, getting it up..

    [–]Karacmore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Only advice I'm going to give you is to go buy your buddy a 24 pack of whatever the fuck he wants because he deserves it.

    [–]DB_2014 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I've heard this exact story from two male friends. It's more common than you think. Both girls ended up crying and shocked. Nothing you did was wrong. Pure accident.

    Only thing I'd be concerned about is the fat chick's statement when she came in and asked if you "raped" her friend. Your girl already feels hurt/shocked. The last thing you want is her fat friend to implant the idea in her emotional head that she was "raped".

    Not trying to scare you. I've heard crazier things happen though. Always good to be prepared.

    You did nothing wrong. Honest mistake. Move forward and don't worry about it.

    [–]TheMightyMellow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you honestly this comment is very encouraging

    [–]FuckboyAWALT 4 points5 points  (5 children)

    Had exactly the same situation.

    Me and chick were really drunk and I pounded her doggy style, she would definitely not enjoy sitting the next day haha.

    However I was fucking her really rough, took the wrong hole with full burst. I didn't even notice any difference. She immediately pushed me away and started crying. I was shocked. From 100% pleasure to wtf is happening here. It was really surreal. She said I fucked her anal (she never had anal before). I was like what I didn't intent to. I felt bad that day. She texted me that she can't sit... had to smile there... because even without anal she wouldn't have had fun sitting. Chick also texted me that she got diarrhea and she's in pain.

    To conclude I felt Shit and physically hurt someone. I was lucky her sphincter didn't rip.

    Im with you mate. It happens, next time don't drink that much if you want to fuck her in that position or simply fuck her in a safe position when you are drunk.

    [–]TheMightyMellow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Lmao thats wild. Yea man just a shitty feeling even worse when you get blue balled from it

    [–]DiggerClam 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Your dick is no bigger than a thick shit that these bitches push. Yeah it hurt them but it's not a huge deal. Who hasn't has a bit of blood in their stool before after a weekend at Vegas 😎

    [–]FuckboyAWALT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So you wasted your time on trash talk gz on that one. #quality

    [–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Same here...poor girl. Imagine ...SLAM SLAM SLAM OOPS!

    [–]Pluglord 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    This would've traumatized me for a good while

    [–]TheMightyMellow[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Youre tellin me bro

    [–]Cunt_Robber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Same. This kind of triggering and also condoms breaking are my two worst fears with ONS. The first time is always exciting but kinda weird cause you dont know how theyre going to react to your sex habits/preferences or whether you'll fuck them again. Ive had girls me resistance both right before and during sex to where we had to stop, but never in a "nuclear" way like your experience. Im sorry you had to go through that.

    What I can advise you on is never go after a tatted Latina. Most likely she belongs to someone in the cartel/gang.

    [–]Thegymismyhome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I don't think it was clear if she had tattoos or not...

    Regardless, good story OP

    [–]GunsGermsAndSteel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I mean, come on, she was drunk. Maybe at some point in life she had a really terrible experience with anal, so being poked there activated her Drunk Bitch Drama program, it happens.

    We are all a bit dramatic when we are drunk. Human nature.

    Personally when I was single I made it a rule not to have first-time sex with a woman who'd been drinking much. Like, two drinks sure... ten drinks no.

    [–]xArcheo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    No reason to make a big deal out of it. Girl is clearly crazy... Just move on. There's far worse things that can happen man trust me. If this is your worst sexual experience you should consider yourself lucky man.

    [–]Aarxnw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I'm so sorry, I have no advice but I laughed extremely hard. I really hope the tatted chick explains what really happened to the fat friend, good luck dude.

    [–]Stubbify 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    rip, at least you don't think only girls have orgasms

    [–]50pluspiller 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Go search YouTube for the video, "wrong hole".

    [–]LordThunderbolt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    And everyniiiiiiight (ouhhhhouhhouhh) I put it in the wrong hoooooole.

    [–]TheMightyMellow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    All i found was the cat version

    [–]ethreax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I don't see this answer here. Maybe she got physically abused in her ass when she was little and that traumatizes her

    [–]RedSkeller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Reading this accidental anal story, I had high hopes for a poop dick, but then sadly got a weird rapey incest vibe. Good times.

    [–]Mike377774774 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I mean, you saw the red flags and still risked. Is this seriously a surprise?...

    [–]tropzumuch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hope this helps, its fucking hilarious. You can laugh about that story, you should. Seriously had a good laugh. Shake it off dear

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My god. Atleast u didn't​get charged or anything crazy. Sounds like a bad experience....What a let down.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    Sue tatty & fatty for libel/slander/defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress

    [–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Nah. This could so easily backfire. Best no one knows about this.

    [–]bilabrin 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    You can't draw blood from a turnip.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    True, but still fun to get a judgment even if you don't collect. These skanks probably won't even answer the complaint so you could get a default judgment with relatively little cost or effort. Hang it up in your den as a reminder of the wages of whorishness.

    [–]bilabrin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Oh lord, please don't tell me people are that Dumb. I mean damn..... Not answering a complaint?!?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You would be shocked how many people just ignore lawsuits and allow default judgments to enter against them.

    [–]TheMightyMellow[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    This is the correct response

    [–]BestSC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    First sign was fucking a seriously tatted up chick...DO NOT STICK DICK IN CRAZY.

    Well at least the moonshine was good and the trailer park was probably balling...

    Seriously, if your thing is extremely damaged girls who torture themselves tattooing their entire body, then you can expect tons of this kind of shit. So not going to give you advice because you loooooooove the crazy and there are risks to fucking crazy emotionally damaged chicks.

    [–]awareness1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So did I.

    Keep moving, junior.

    [–]aigamithite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Fuck the self-loathing. Go hug your bro for going with that neckbeard.

    This is the true take-away from this story, that you will be telling your grand children before they go to college.

    Rock on

    [–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What's that ol' saying about crazy?

    [–]Gawernator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She had tattoos all over, and you didn't realize she's crazy? What did you expect, a meek housewife demeanor?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Had slept next to a naked chick who later accused me of being a fag because I didn't try to have sex with her...

    ...it's better to be called a fag than a rapist. I bet she had a hard time dissing me to other girls. "I was totally naked and he did nothing to me! What a creepy fag!"

    Girl, if a 'creep' doesn't want to touch you... you've got issues, not the creep.

    [–]Throwawaysteve123456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Okay, am i the only person that hasn't accidentally hit the asshole? It's sort of hard to miss.

    [–]trainwithlino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    1. Chick was crazy.

    2. Always rub it down first or tell her to put it in her for you from the back.

    [–]quicklogaccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Has anything like this happened to you guys before?

    "Not there", "Wrong hole", etc...
    There's just so much worse shit you can get dude. I'd be apprehensive about the "did you rape her" thing, but apart from that I'll trade it with ending up with a landwhale anytime.

    Was this girl just insane or sexually abused as a kid?

    She's overly defensive, hence why she thought ill of you when it happened, and she's overly used to having support and people buying her fights for her, hence why she escalated instead of deescalating the situation. Terrible, terrible chicks to have around you.
    Being insane of having been abused isn't a requirement for chicks to act like that, there are way too many feminist activists just like that.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sounds like an average goofy drunken night.

    Who cares

    The worst I've ever had was when I was 21 or so.

    I was Facebook messaging some chick and convinced her to come over at like 4 am.

    I was pretty excited about it and thought hey I'll look at her picture to get warmed up.

    Looked at it and realized fuck it's not the right girl. It's some gigantic fatty that I have never even met let alone had meant to fb friend.

    Then the door rang and when I opened it it was even worse than I thought.

    After I fucked her I threw up and so did she because she was so drunk.

    [–]mrpoopistan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I'd have laughed.

    FTR, I laugh a lot during sex, anyhow, and I've found that it seems to disarm women. There's just something unexpected about it.

    [–]Adreamdead -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    Join mgtow red pill. All women are scum just pump and dump them.