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What hard truth do you wish you were told earlier in life? (self.asktrp)

submitted by MetalliMunk


[–]BaiLoulong 124 points125 points  (4 children)

That the majority of people who know you, don't care about your success or well being in the slightest. Of the remaining minority, a majority of them, actively want to see you fail. Only a small percentage of people you meet in life want to see you succeed. I wish my father told me that when I was a child. I was lucky and learned as a teen.

[–]refusewool 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is true but in what way has knowing this actively changed your life? What do you do differently?

[–]BaiLoulong 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You look out for yourself first, and then those you love; your family and close friends. (You can't help anyone if you're not put together yourself). Always be cynical, always try to be smarter today than you were yesterday and do not rely on others. That's what I do differently.

You can see very easily how and why the beta mentality does not work. Fawning over others (in the majority of cases here, women) is a losing game for losers.

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting.

[–]break1ngbard 63 points64 points  (4 children)

Networking is the worst skill you could neglect.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As a new grad, I find this to be true. I should have been cultivating my network years ago. Even the skills to network. Now I'm starting from the ground up and the going is slow.

[–]ThedragonCarnage 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Can any one suggest a good guide for networking? I have been working for 2 years and basically no network at all...

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]ThedragonCarnage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Unfortunately no,but I just finished reading how to win friends and influence people. Hopefully it will help.

    [–]Terdmuffin 59 points60 points  (0 children)

    How manipulative women are.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 58 points59 points  (2 children)

    1.) That you CAN bust your ass and get most things you want in life. You are not born into most things with no way out. You can get into shape if you're fat, educate yourself if you're ignorant, train yourself to be good at something, and work hard to have a good life.

    2.) Being nice gets you fucking nowhere with others. No one cares about you, and 99 out of 100 people won't return the favors. Doesn't mean I wish I was more of a dick when I was younger, it just means I wish I had known that there's nothing noble or good about being a fucking door mat.

    [–]AwakenedSovereign 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Hardest shit to deprogram man

    And it's not even about being a doormat. I walk if they are cunts and don't look back. But upon first meeting? I still try to stretch out the olive branch.

    And they use that as a signal to look down their nose / try and fuck you 9 times outta 10

    Fucking primates. The world could be better but we'd need to cull a majority before that would work

    [–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The world could be better but we'd need to cull a majority before that would work

    Being kind to those truly in need is the only way to go. Going above and beyond just to be a good person? You will get used, plain and simple.

    [–]chachaChad 45 points46 points  (5 children)

    Just fucking lift!

    [–]monk_mode_is_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    +1 :(

    [–]coloredzebra 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Coming off an injury is a bit depressing though. I literally lost all my gains. Looks like it's back to starting with the bar, and 5 am's again...

    [–]chachaChad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm with you brother. I just took a year off from running to recover from a car accident. I kept the weight under control but no it's time to build muscle. Yes, it's hard but hard is what I do. I've done easy and that's hell for me.

    [–]hawkeaglejesus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Makes you think, with so much emphasis on nurturing and training your mind why no one ever told you to give as much nurturing and training to your body.

    [–]chachaChad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As a kid, the people around me did the best they could for themselves and me. It might be what I wanted but it was good enough to get me here. I'm an adult (53) so figuring out life has been my problem for a long time now.

    One single truth I've found that I live by now is: NO EXCUSE NOT TO BE RIPPED

    [–]Ezrickkn 46 points47 points  (1 child)

    I doesn't get easier, it gets harder. Stop waiting for it to be easy.

    [–]monk_mode_is_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    +1

    [–]jay_jay_man 82 points83 points  (20 children)

    Looks fucking matter A LOT. People judge you mostly by your appearance in life.

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 14 points15 points  (19 children)

    I can relate to this. I bought a Volkswagen Jetta in 2014. Best car ever owned worst decision I ever made. I've had people come up to me and call me everything but a man. I still get cussed out at gas stations. I can't wait to sell this thing.

    [–]KingRead 13 points14 points  (12 children)

    Nah man, just move out of hippie central, that's whack.

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 9 points10 points  (11 children)

    South Carolina. Everyone drives the largest truck they can and does their best to look like a farmer. Even when they live in town. It's puzzling.

    [–]KingRead 7 points8 points  (6 children)

    'merican

    Just enjoy your car man, dont lose money on it cause some business hurt someone's feelings.

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Yeah, you are right. I just hate that people harass me that much.

    [–]KingRead 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    Joke with them, lighten the situation.

    "yeah I'm trying to get rid of this peice of shit but no one will buy it"

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    or tell them they're pussies who haven't ever had a 2x4 in the bed of their truck so maybe they should buy a jetta instead of wasting all their money on gas

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Yeah. Maybe "Agree and Amplify" would work on a larger part of the population than I thought.

    [–]Metalageddon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It works wonderfully on both sexes.

    Try to use it often. You'll calibrate quickly.

    Even an asshole coworker making a gay comment "haha, I'll have to tell your dad to keep it our love life private."

    You can shoot off and defuser all sorts of shit if you do it enough to recognize where the line is.

    [–]VegasSaint9 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I always wonder why people who really have no functional use of such a vehicle buy them. Don't get me wrong they're very useful, but it's such a waste if you don't need it.

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That was my rationale for buying an efficient but quick car. I don't have anything to tow around and I live in an apartment. So I don't have anything to keep outside and haul.

    [–]Icanus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    If you drive a big ass truck in Belgium people assume you have a tiny penis. Farmers have Mercedes E class from the nineties!

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That is great. Maybe I belong in Europe.

    [–]Andigger 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Volkswagen Jetta

    german here. whats wrong with this car? looks nice. nobody would consider a car like this to be a pussy wagon here

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    U.S. culture has a hypermasculinity problem. If you aren't behaving a certain way or own certain things you are considered less of a man. I see through it and don't follow it. But it is a problem here.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's basically the standard car for girls 17-23.

    So much so that it gets joked about as a stereotype constantly and it's true like 95 percent of the time.

    [–]1Pink1Stink 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    If people come up to you and insult you, it's not your car buddy.

    [–]alwaysbreakinstuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm no coward. But I get the idea.

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Jettas are for bangable chicks.

    [–]dontbedenied 45 points46 points  (1 child)

    Don't take women's opinions of you so seriously

    [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yea.

    [–]TryhardPantiesON 53 points54 points  (2 children)

    Pursue money, not women. It is easier to get women when you have money, than it is to get money when you have women.

    [–]Cunt_Robber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Jesus i never thought about it that way!

    [–]mrpCamper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

    -Tony Montana in Scarface 1983. link to video clip of the secene

    [–]coniife 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    i wish someone told me about the dishonest, manipulative and intriguing nature of women

    [–]menial_optimist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Tell me about it. I'm still fighting my deeply rooted programming that says women are innocent doves, and that being a good little boy means pleasing them whenever possible, and that if it's between my pleasure or hers, hers should take priority every time.

    [–]Ravensgate22 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    That girls are cruel and dishonest

    [–]LordThunderbolt 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    Money is actually VERY VERY important.

    [–]zayelion 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    Women arent faithful, even if you work your ass off and create miracles for them. I'm talking utterly transform their quality of living.

    [–]TheBlackAlistar 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    I'll second this. My ex gf from highschool, whom was probably close to living on the streets found a guy who took her into his home and she became his gf. We still talked and sure enough I went home for Christmas and she was eager to be able to jump back on my dick, even with what he's done for her.

    [–]MrAnderzon 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    In the words of tupac: Bitches ain't shit

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm Still fucking my ex from high school. Her boyfriend (on again/off again) has bought her multiple cars (she crashes them cause she does a lot of pills), provided a roof over her head, is shredded, good looking (no homo), tough as nails motherfucker. Guy could probably whoop my ass. Works out and works his job all day for this batshit crazy but smoking hot chick. And I STILL get the best her body has to offer with just late night booty calls/texts. This mating game is one fucked up thing.

    Edit: most of the time really all the time she texts/calls me for sex because their sex life is such shit (she says). I don't really reach out to her but she's good for a few lays a month and she's a solid 8.5

    [–]SightofZeus 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    That you cannot change people however hard you try. What you see is what you get. Trying to go against this fundamental law is like trying to catch the wind.

    [–]Docbear64 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    You'll get much further taking and actively pursuing what you want then waiting around hoping someone comes by , recognizes, you and hands it to you on a silver platter . That goes for jobs, women , experiences , whatever.

    Also the best quote I've read on this sub was " Men are made not born " . The heart ache , disappointment , frustration , and most importantly recognition and analysis of those things is what makes me more successful , i more confident today , and stronger than I've ever been in my past. It's easy to get lost in those moments and think " I am worthless and have no clue what I'm doing " , use that as a lesson for building yourself up .

    [–]wont_tell_i_refuse 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    You're not special.

    [–]TheChadSprinkle 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Oh there are many:

    Don't "be yourself".

    Find a strong, positive male role model.

    It's okay to be selfish, most people are.

    The only woman who will ever love you unconditionally is your mother.

    Being an open book doesn't serve you in the slightest. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

    Jesus, the entire sidebar, I could fucking go on and on.

    [–]argcisman 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    You are alone in this world but this also means that you are the only one who can change your life, no one else. Which is actually a good thing.

    [–]GreenPiller 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    The world is a cruel place

    [–]_the_shape_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Don't count on others to look out for you/be there for you/stick up for you/put their neck on the line to save your's, especially in the work force, and if anyone does, look at it as a bonus, a kind gesture, but never expect it.

    [–]brinkleybuzz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    AWALT

    [–]DSetupDTitleDMenu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Rich people have better lives in every regard.

    Wish someone told me that so I could make the most of what I had and force me to build a happy life for myself.

    [–]AwakenedSovereign 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    The first step in being able to do something is believing that you can do it.

    I was a fucking nerd in school. Call me Mr. Spock. For 26 years it was, if the math adds up, I can do it. The universe doesn't give a shit. What I think doesn't matter. What you think doesn't matter. Ironically, I was halfway alpha in that mindset

    And then I found TRP and my emotions got all fucked. I realized I didn't have all the answers.

    Now I am slowly realizing, learning, assimilating, the fact that how I think.. why I choose what I choose.. what feelings I allow to matter.. is fucking important. Really fucking important.

    Because I could go spit game with a rehearsed routine at 99% accuracy

    But that shit doesn't matter if you don't BELIEVE in it. Fucking trippy. No wonder dumb jocks get laid, they ain't got the braincells to doubt themselves

    [–]synkangura 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's not necessarily a hard truth but I wish someone screamed at around 6 and went "If you feel like you're good at something KEEP FUCKING DOING IT!"

    I don't get caught up in the shoulda, coulda, woulda conversation with myself but when I am being reflective and introspective I can't help but acknowledge that growing up I was very talented at music and the arts but I neglected it because I wanted to be like my Dad and play sports. Still played sports, but I'd be a lot more well rounded if I kept doing some of the things I used to.

    [–]All_Ads_Deceive 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Hypergamy

    [–]1saidy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What often ought to be isn't what actually is. Like what people tell you and what they do can be direct opposites. Look at life with intense realism.

    [–]DiggerClam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It never gets easier, but it does get better.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Long distance relationships are never worth it.

    [–]Mudpielol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Taking action and failing is better than missing potential opportunities by not taking action.

    [–]mrpCamper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You never regret the chances you took but lost. You only regret the chances you never took.

    [–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Looks are pretty much everything. No girl wants to suck a great big personality