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Accidentally fucked my first cousin (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

To make a long story short haven't seen her in years she has a very common name so I just assumed she wasn't related. We we're at a buddies house party and I brought her back to mine only exchanging first names. She got my last name after sex then started freaking out and said do you know aunt x I was like yeah. And she's like we're fucking related what the fuck. I was kind of frazzled so I just said it's ok because people do this all the time in West Virginia. Called her a cab. She texted me today saying she's gonna be coming back to family gatherings as she was away for years. How do I not make thanks giving awkward trp?


[–]TheRecycledMale 119 points120 points  (1 child)

Not making Thanksgiving awkward?

Don't wear a t-shirt that says "Cousin Elly is a Slut, I know, because I fucked her"

[–][deleted] 158 points159 points  (14 children)

Lol. There is no problem. Just pretend it didnt happen. I hope you wore a condom because otherwise it would be retarded.

Get it?

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 93 points94 points  (7 children)

There ain't nothin wrong with cousin fuckin. It's the cousin breedin thats the problem.

[–]D4rkr4in 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Just watch some game of thrones and all your cousin fucking will be normalized

[–]htbf 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Even then. As long as it's not tradition, it's pretty much alright. This is a Christian thing, not a science thing.

[–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (4 children)

!?!?!?!

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Odd question coming from someone named "jackandjill"

See my other reply.

[–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ah, I see. Fantastic sense of humor. Also, for the record mine is deadpan ironic. So, perhaps that would explain the username a-little.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What amazes me is no one has ever asked me about it.

It was a troll. The truth is I used to be a big time poster around here in the early days. I had another user with karma that dwarfs this one. However, as with all places internet, I got tired of all the retards that started flowing into the subs, acting offended and bitchy about anything and everything. So I started coming here less and less.

One day an old friend wanted to fuck with another friend, so I regged this account. It was a play on Bigus Dickus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPGb4STRfKw. It was topical to the intended troll. As I was working the troll, I saw a post on a sub throwing a tantrum about this place. So I came here to read and we all know what that does to some people...

My old friends around here would be absolutely fucking mortified if they knew I was an EC on TRP. Fuck em. heh

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that's interesting. Yea, forums often go through a transformational period before they reach their final version/incarnation. I can see why you took a break.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

it would be retarded.

Take my upvote.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Username checks out

[–]Fryguy48 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm not encouraging cousin breeding, but it probably wouldn't be retarded. They are far enough away in relations that it would be okay. If they were siblings than the chances are higher, but even then it usually takes a couple generations of inbreeding.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It was a jook, man

[–]Fryguy48 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh... that went right over my head.

[–]RedSkeller 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you'll always have a plate ready for you at Thanksgiving

[–]Redpillwhiterabbit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Take the god damn upvote and get out

[–]LeBroney 68 points69 points  (2 children)

Ok Jon Snow

[–]bunkmacleod 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Lol too soon.

[–]ranigma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not soon enough

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Well, it's high time you learned to play the banjo, son.

She texted me today saying she's gonna be coming back to family gatherings as she was away for years. How do I not make thanks giving awkward trp?

What's done is done. Just mutually-agree that nothing ever happened, and to both STFU about it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I laughed

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 41 points42 points  (9 children)

Where's the problem?

[–]--69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's no such thing as "awkward" unless other people know about your stuff.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

All future family gatherings how to not make this awkward?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 88 points89 points  (3 children)

Why would it be awkward? What could happen? Will she undress in front of the family? will she ask you if you want to fuck her again at the diner table?

There is no fucking problem. You fucked a girl and you might meet her again. end of story. It only becomes awkward if you make it awkward.

"Hi. How are you?"

What's awkward about that?

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 46 points47 points  (0 children)

</end thread>

[–]somebullshitrp 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I can't even tell you the number of times my family members have stripped down and propositioned me for sex at the dinner table.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Pics or it didn't happen.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Easy. It never happened.

[–]InscrutablePUA 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a troll post

[–]GreenPiller 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nice...

[–]TryhardPantiesON 9 points10 points  (0 children)

r/gonewildstories is leaking

lmao unbelievable post

[–]Zanford 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You shouldn't thought faster. "Oh, it's cool, I was adopted" or "jk your aunt so-and-so was a friend of my father's they always thought it was funny they had the same last names".

If she bothered to text you, it means she might be up for round 2 if you play your cards right. If she was truly disgusted or creeped out she would not have taken initiative to text.

You can guaran-fucking-tee she won't be telling anyone about this or future encounters, so there's no awkwardness if you play it cool, and her guaranteed silence makes her perfect as a plate or side piece, especially if you get into a LTR with someone else and want a discrete side piece who won't push for an LTR of her own.

If you actually see her at any family gatherings (which you may not, she made that crap up on the fly), obv play it cool like it never happened and act like you barely know her.

[–]Westernhagen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She texted me today saying she's gonna be coming back to family gatherings as she was away for years.

Your response:

"Netflix and chill later?"

[–]vajav 10 points11 points  (0 children)

go anal from now on, to play it safe

[–]SoloAlbum 16 points17 points  (8 children)

Same TRP practice applies, play it off like you don't care, then plate her when she inevitably wants to do it again.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–]TrenGod37 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    Lack of abundance or savagery!?!

    Who are we to judge?

    [–]Shukakun -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

    Wow you must be really starving if you'd be willing to eat locally grown apples. Everyone knows you should only eat imported apples. Gross.

    Or, you know, female cousins are just girls. Like /u/max_peenor said, as long as you aren't breeding, it isn't a problem. Now, if you've grown up with her and have a sibling-like relationship, that's another story. But a lot of the time people barely know their cousins. So by all means, sleep with them. Why the hell not?

    [–]dgillz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It doesn't even matter if you breed. 1st cousin marriage is legal in 30 state IIRC, including places like NY, CA, CO, etc. It isn't just red-necked states. There is close to zero additional chance of having genetic issues from 1st cousins breeding.

    [–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Well, to be honest I was joking, using the redneck vernacular and all.

    Nevertheless, I had a year long affair with a second cousin once removed. That would be legal in any state.

    I got very drunk one night with a closer cousin and the only thing that kept that deal from closing was the shear level of our intoxication. She passed out and I started projective puking all over a blow up doll.

    Now while I completely told the truth, the actual story is a lot less cool. This is why I never clarify.

    Oh and my sister? Ewwwwwwww! No way.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Why the hell do it though. There's literally no point, there are plenty of girls out there to not fuck your own cousin. There's a shitton of complications that can arise if things go sour between you and your cousin, it's just not worth.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Shukakun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wow, now that right there sure changed my mind. Are you gonna make retarded kids? No? Are you close enough that your feelings about each other are sibling-like/platonic? No? Then it's literally just a girl. I personally have about 60-65 cousins, 10-15 who I've never even met. How are they any different from strangers if I don't plan to impregnate them, exactly?

      [–]ReaperOfSouls_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      lmao

      [–]Arabian_Wolf 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      In arabia cousins get married and have children.

      It's ok man she's not your sister.

      [–]sjn2203 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Are you using Arabia as a benchmark for anything that makes sense ?

      [–]Arabian_Wolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Hahaha.

      Well you guys can only dream of marriage rules and regulations here, including marrying that cousin who was probably your first oneitis.

      [–]my_sfw_alias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      And you can just get the village to murder her when you're all finished

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You knew nothing.

      [–]dontgiveupcarib 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Relax it was an accident, first cousin marriages happened in all societies for millennia. Just brush it off and keep it as a funny story to tell your close friends when you're fishing.

      [–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Just lead the vibe of the night so that it's not awkward. You're the leader. If you have an awkward vibe, then she will have an awkward vibe. Be chill, be understanding, and like you said, in your state it's normal to fuck your cousin. If it helps, bring another girl to your family dinner so you have someone else to focus on (preferably not another cousin)

      [–]LordThunderbolt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Plate her

      [–]mbillion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      act like it didnt happen just like she is going to

      [–]WhorehouseVet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      What, no one made a joke that OP should break both his arms? I'm shocked!

      [–]Toasters77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Ask her if she's up for round 2

      [–]FuckMichaelMcCoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Sounds like she wants it again. She mentioned she wants to come back to more reunions.

      This shit really turns her on more than Chad since its so taboo. Even if its shitty sex the idea of it makes her very wet.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It happened. Nothing you can do to reverse it. While humans have an evolutionary mental barrier for incest yours was totally by accident. Remove it from your mind and just go on as whatever. Don't be awkward around her. You being stoic about the whole thing will put her at ease during family gatherings. Just don't get too sloppy drunk and tell people

      [–]JSizzl3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah r/TIFU is that way...

      [–]gaki123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "West Virginia" LOL!

      [–]Zack9764 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      LOL do you live in WV, is that why you said that. Anyway its only awkward if you make it awkward.. Move on and forget about it. You probably wont, but try at least and pretend it never happened and just talk to her and approach her as if it never happened.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      No on the border of wv and Maryland panhandle in rural pa. So only semi excuseable

      [–]Bear-With-Bit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If this is shit post... Hahahaha

      [–]Aardopossadillo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      While you obviously shouldn't do it again, it isn't like it is unprecedented. Charles Darwin married his first cousin and as far as I know, his many children were healthy. Edit: the children were actually pretty unhealthy. I don't think it was genetic disorders though. Most went on to become quite distinguished so it must not have been that bad.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Darwin

      Hopefully, that will put your mind at ease.

      [–]zayelion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CILzZG7Go4w

      Act like it never happened, if she talks about it play dumb. Sometimes,... even sexual strategy has limits, and retarded babies are a no go.

      [–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Never have I seen "don't shit where you eat" go so wrong lol

      [–]EXjayW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Not real. The WV comment gave it away.

      [–]satanicpriest13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      accidentally

      [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This isn't 4chan

      [–]SovereignSoul76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If you really want to be alpha, you have to acknowledge that you'll prob accidentally bang at least like 4 cousins along the way. Gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

      [–]failberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Congratulations!

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Who cares? Fuck her again if you're both down. Nobody gives a shit.

      If not, just pretend it didn't happen. No big deal either way.

      [–]Dreamlancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I don't see the problem. In fact, she text you back about her coming to family gatherings again. You don't need to bring it up at all frankly. However the fact that she brought it up to you is really just one of the two: Either she is still interested, or she just doesn't want things to be awkward for future gatherings.

      Either way as long as you aren't still actively trying to get into her pants without thoroughly assessing which way the wind is blowing, it shouldn't be an issue at all.

      [–]PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      try not to get hard while looking at her in front of Auntie Mae

      then fuck her later. what ever.

      normalize what ever you want.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      😂😂

      [–]sesasees 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      So actually in the Arab world, I know a lot of married couples who are also first cousins. I know it's freaky but it is what it is. This is hilarious (to me) but not as weird as you'd think it is

      [–]soskrood 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      It is called inbreeding. All fun and games until your kids come out retarded or with birth defects.

      There is a reason "Arab" is not associated with "prosperous well run society".

      [–]sesasees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Someone else mentioned that this is normal in Southern Europe. I know this isn't the best thing for the kids but I've seen the kids of these cousins - they're fine. It's only a problem after several generations.

      They just don't have the stigma of first cousins being considered inbred. This also applies to Iran and so on beyond the Arab world.