How should I act when a lot of guys are hitting on the same girl? (self.asktrp)

submitted by shuremng

Most parties I go to, the girls are constantly being hit on by multiple guys and eventually, one of them gets the girl.

I was wondering, how can I get the girl (one night stand) when there are 5 other guys constantly trying to hit on her as well?

[–]1morescoobysnacks 127 points128 points  (19 children)

Go really hard. Put your arm around her immediately on the approach if someone hasn't yet and ask her who her favorite guy is so far. Tell her you'll wing for her and find her a good guy if she wings for you. All the while, try to value fuck the other guys by mocking their game playfully ("Damn that's a great line man! I'm gonna take notes. You go.") Throw small qualifiers at them regarding how much money they make, what kind of car they drive, how much they can bench... super easy way to have non-PUAs disqualify themselves because everybody wants to brag about that shit. Always frame control by being the interviewer. If dudes ask you questions, shrug or ignore and change the subject or start talking to someone else immediately or side/back turn. At some point just tell her you're bored, leaving, and try to isolate.

You can find detailed stuff about dealing with other PUAs on older forums. There's not much about it these days. It's hard to find a set like that in my case... in NYC there are too many women.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 26 points27 points  (6 children)

Good advice, I'm going to add that buying temperature is something that you need to pay attention to. It will give you an idea of how you need to handle it. If the guys have been pumping her buying temp but never escalating well applied kino can seal the deal quickly and then you just need to isolate.

[–]1morescoobysnacks 15 points16 points  (4 children)

How do you gauge buying temperature? Real examples please.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 38 points39 points  (3 children)

How she reacts to stimuli.

If you walk up and put your arm around her and she moves in closer or cuddles in, that's her being hot to trot.

If she responds to comments or questions in a sexual manner. I'll use a real life example from my own life. I had been making fun of a friends gf and making sexist comments before we went to a party and she was trying to bust my balls but of course, I am impervious. So, we get to the party and meet up with some other girls. One was already pretty drunk and started talking to me. The friends gf said, "Don't talk to him, he only likes women for their bodies." and the drunk girl replied. "What do you think of my body?"


[–]SlyGradient[M] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm feeling generous today, award both of you a point +1

[–]1morescoobysnacks 6 points7 points  (1 child)

So ultimately you fast-forward and go for a quicker pull based on sexual IOIs?

she was trying to bust my balls but of course, I am impervious

Haha. Get it.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If the lights green, go.

[–]mrpoopistan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best interjection I've seen here in a while.

I'm astonished how many guys are put off by dudes swarming, when the reality is that they often just haven't closed the deal or haven't been able to really warm things up. Many times, they've primed her to do something, they've just failed to get to the something. It doesn't mean she isn't thinking about leaving with someone.

[–]CookieAdmiral 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Gonna disagree with this one.

Once a girl talks to 5 guys, she has probably already picked one out of them, she is just waiting for him to escalate and isolate. Doing what you said to OP will come across as needy and tryhard. Best bet is to talk to other ladies, or be the one that talk to the girl first and then isolate immediately. I wouldn't bother becoming the AMOG (unless you are way more muscular and taller or good-looking than your competitors.).

Next time you speak to a girl, build a connection and isolate Asap.

[–]mrpoopistan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His point is to gauge things before it gets to that point.

[–]HurricaneHugues 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Terrible advice. That's some comedy drama tv show bullshit. If there is one burger in the room, Im not gonna fight 4 other dudes over it. Im gonna go somewhere else where there are less dudes and nore burgers. Women fight for men, not vice versa. Im competitive as fuck, but not gonna do that for pussy. Its weak af, and all the guys look like clowns. Youre just entertaining the girl and blowing up her ego for no reason. Its not even like shes the last chick on this planet.

Just do your own thing, have a good time with other people and I guarantee you the girl will notice and put herself on your path.

[–]1morescoobysnacks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely not Tyler, but I've had a lot of competitive sets. I mostly do daygame though and you're right. You shouldn't have to know how to deal with sets like that. It's a complete and utter waste of time.

[–]SlyGradient[M] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Good comment. Point awarded +1

[–]1morescoobysnacks 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Christ, now I'll feel responsible when some poor fuck actually follows the shit I post.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It only gets worse.

[–]daxxipro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A common scenario of where this happens is with meetups(.com). If one semi-decent looking chick says she's going, 15 dudes end up showing up. It's the worst.

Good info though.

[–]LeonardoDiDraperBond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great advice. Immediately disqualifies the other guys and lets you game her under the radar.

[–]QuantumSpecter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oh ur from the city too? Where do find u most often cold approach girls? On the street? In bars?

[–]1morescoobysnacks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've done most of my daygaming around NYU and ASU. Quieter bars can be really great too.

[–]Ricklogical 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Maybe you should cold approach women in the daytime.

If a woman is into you, all the other men in the room don't matter. If she isn't, luckily there are more women, or you should just not attend these parties to meet women and go other places to do so.

[–]Psilotheos 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is good advice. Can 100% say from experience by not being one of thirsty dudes the woman has her hamster spinning on why youre not like them. Honestly last two parties ive been at ive played that card and the women were isolating me and begging for my attention. Depends on OPs SMV entirely but ill admit my SMV was much higher than the men in my example so could be a very different story

[–]Ricklogical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yah the key is to have something to do at places other than standing there consuming. Being a performer or a custodian to the event itself is much more appealing to anyone that you might meet that is 'just there.'

People are lazy, no one wants other lazy partners, they want engaging and exciting partners. It's also fulfilling and great for networking to help out the boss and other organizers.

[–]Peter_B_Long 22 points23 points  (0 children)

eventually, one of them gets the girl.

Be the guy that gets the girl!

To not be the that guy that hits on the girl. Be the social friendly guy. If you're talking to everybody, nobody's going to judge you for talking to some girl, and that girl is going to be more interested in you because she's seeing that you're displaying social value.

I went to this party a few months ago. I got invited by this guy who had came to one of my parties. It was his birthday. I show up to the party and although there were other people I thought I'd know, I only knew birthday boy. I said what's up to him but he was so busy hosting that he didn't stick around with me. I was on my own (tun-tun-tuuunnnn!)

No biggie, I approached a group and asked for a lighter. I started a conversation with them and engaged everyone in the group as a group. Everyone was facing me and listening. I got everyone's names and did my best to remember most of them.

I decide I want to play Rage Cage (a group drinking game). I ask around to see if people want to play and I get a good group going. I announce the rules of the game as if I'm a public speaker in front of a college graduation. People who aren't even playing are looking at me, girls are glancing. I play the game, I have a good fucking time.

I see a group dancing in the living room and I go join them, not giving a fuck.

Now I can approach anyone and they'll be comfortable enough to talk to me because I've displayed social value, in a room full of strangers.

[–]XXXNINETACION 29 points30 points  (10 children)

dont hit on her and ignore her, be the most entertaining guy at the party and make her chase you

[–]SenorSwole 48 points49 points  (5 children)

Girls don’t do that at parties. She’ll give IOIs but you have to take action.

[–]XXXNINETACION 10 points11 points  (2 children)

so shouldn't it still be "dont hit on her and ignore her, be the most entertaining guy at the party and make her chase you" and closer to the end or middle of the party when she gives IOIs approach her?

[–]SenorSwole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, have a fun frame and when she throws some IOIs then approach

[–]Atheist_Utopia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your name 🤣🤣🤣

[–]4SkinFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously, what shit advice.

"just be yourelf, gahilk!"

[–]yumyumgivemesome 9 points10 points  (2 children)

...be the most entertaining guy at the party and make her chase you

I struggle with this type of advice every time. Be funny, charismatic, and good-looking. In short, be awesome. But make sure you are the #1 awesomest person in every city you step foot in. That's all it takes!

[–]SenorSwole 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oh quit whining you little bitch. Grow up.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

k big boy

[–]OPTIMUSL1ME 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]Saberinbed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Be the best guy

[–]SenorSwole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who gives a fuck about other dudes. Just use the principles you’ve learned.

[–]freew33zy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go to parties where this isn't possible because the ratio is better. Duh. Girls don't want to fuck the dudes at sausage parties anyways

[–]beermagnate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have to be the fucking best choice out there. It's a competition obbiously.

[–]IVIaskerade 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Walk up and brightly announce "Hi, I'm the next idiot of the night!"

[–]Bedtimeshine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By being a better dresser, having muscle mass and low body fat, and having high value career... for starters.

[–]boy_named_su 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mathematician John Nash explains it here:


[–]stylesm11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck that, get your own cliche at party, have legitimate fun, people will literally flock to you if interested

[–]XT3M3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i just act like im here for the party or my own personal reason. and they flock over at times since you atent overshowering with validation and attention. almost as if they are trying to figure out why. do this well and you will end up with her.

at work this works too well . i dont shit where i eat. but its funny to watch girls flock to me and give me attention and offers to go out and etc (which i take) and watch my other co workers who shower these same girls with bs get angry cause " you dont even do anything, and shes all over you"

[–]kendallb183 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ALWAYS ignore a girl who's actively getting hit on back to back in a club.... and go straight for her hot friend not getting as much attention... I play the friend card with the friend... either the friend will like me OR the other girl will stop getting hit on and I'll use my new friend and pick on the main chick for getting hit on so hard. "Wow you really got all the creepy guys after you tonight lol what perfume did you wear?!"

The fact her friend is on my side now puts her in a position of validating to me to save face or at worse shit testing which I pass. Now I've got 2 options vs competing against 5 guys at once and blowing a whole set

Edit: going to girl #2 and simply saying, wow does your friend always attract so many dudes... is a great environmental opener.

[–]SensualSeduction01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit at these responses.

Dude, you just gotta be big and know how to fight. The confidence comes with the territory.

[–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ignore her and talk to her friend.

[–]theubernoob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make light of the situation is a good way to go.

I was at a party and there was literally what looked like a line of guys waiting to talk to this super hot girl. So I sat at the end of the line and then yelled over to her, "Hey! Is this the line? Is this the line to talk to you?" The people around laughed and then this other girl came up to me and grabbed my arm so we left and spent the night together.

[–]mayy77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too difficult, don't bother.

[–]chimera7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a pretty good technique for other guys. With 5 guys I think it’d work too. You’d probably just need to identify the big dog in the group and go from there. https://youtu.be/jB1tWQACCDQ