Sorry about my english, Eastern Europe guy here.
Man, I wish I had access to the things I learned here when I was 15. I am 27 now.
I've spent my teen years mostly on video games, figured out I have no idea how to get and keep a girlfriend and basically gave up. Having absent and beta dad didn't help either. Up until now I've had sex less than 10 times, get attached to girl every time and inevitably got hurt, so I avoided relationships and sex in general. The worst thing is I am not bad looking, so a lot of people just assumed I am gay (am not).
After finding about the red pill some time ago, things started to click, I've finally got answers to my questions, fixed my behaviour, stoped being clueless and for the first time in my life I am in the functional relationship. I don't care that much if we break up, the first thing I want to do is practice.
Now for the problem. The girl is 26 years old, hitting the wall, and this being the EE, she is a good RP girlfriend. When we talk about our lives and experiences, I feel so left behind, I feel like I fucked my life beyond reparation, and the sadness that ensue is starting to hinder my progress toward bettering myself. I keep misterious vibe and solid frame, she thinks I am cool alpha with lots of experience, but when I come home and draw a parallels things start to hurt.
She was outgoing all of here life and has huge social circle. I rarely left my room and currently have 1 or 2 friends.
When I look at her facebook albums, she has countless pictures from all around the Europe, parties, she has stories about summer loves when she was younger and super hot, where her eyes become dreamy, she has cool experiences and sweet memories. On the other hand I hardly left my country, my pictures on FB are 5 and 6 years old, there was nothing exciting in my life for the long, long time.
She had three two-years long realationships and multiple hookups. My longest "realtionship" was six month, long-distance, one-time-sex retardation. I've usually developed oneits for few of my awkward casual hookups.
She has a lot of sexual experience and is great in bed. I am currently struggling to get it up due to my PIED so I have to take the pill when we are having sex, and have a lot to learn regarding sexual positions and fucking good.
She is a great conversionalist, I am mostly quiet as fuck (constantly working on this).
And many more. So after talking about these things I've get the somehow worst feeling ever, mixed jelousy, love, nostalgia, fear, anxiety, sadness, I start sweating and breathing heavily, feeling that I wasted my youth on the most stupid things imaginable so I have very little cool stories, experiences and memories. People all around me lived through it all and are getting married, settling down after crazy, crazy years, and I am just waking up, like some middle age crisis guy who is trying to be a teenager again.
Like I say, these things set me in a panic mode, I know the cure is to have as many crazy experiences now, but It is hard to calm down and is kinda fucking with my head.
I am working on myself constantly, but when this fucking feeling come I feel like shit for a couple of days. Anyone been in situation like this, care to share some wisdom with me?