I just had the most fucked up date of my life. (self.asktrp)

submitted by kidkidkid123321

I met this girl. She was the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen in my life. She was so quiet and shy though, at least that's what I initially thought. We talk, I try to get her to speak, but nothing is working. She laughs a little but I felt like I was going no where the whole dinner date. Things that stuck out were her telling me that Her friend is a prostutute and she openly told me she used to escort for rich powerful men who bought her her current apartment. Also that she talks to her friend about best ways to masterbate. I was kind of shocked inside but kept my cool.

Anyways, it's super dark outside and we're in front of a harbour with few people around us. During the dinner date she kept telling me her childhood was fucked, her dad left her and her mom hates her. Anyways, I kept being quiet and trying to find common ground, which I didn't. I tried to kiss her sitting at the harbour twice and nothing happened. She asked me "If I don't take you back home tonight , will you be upset? I told her no, and that I don't like fucking women on the first date anyways". I think it was definitely a shit test.

During our time at the harbour she said she likes arrogant and cold men. That's when it clicked. She was so abused as a child that she's grown a psychological attraction to her abuser. That's when I asked her coldly if she likes being chocked, she said only sexually and laughed it ogg. That's when I turned cold, grabbed her hair and had my hand across her neck. She started melting at my side. I leaned in and we started kissing while I talked to her about how she needs a man to break her, and how shell find pleasure being in pain, how shell enjoy being treated like a pile of trasg. How she's meant to be miserable as another man's property and she couldn't even utter words, she just said "yes".. I don't know what to make of any of this. In the end she said she needs to leave, but it wasn't a very nice exit. She just got up and started walking. It's as though I've seen right through her and she despised it. She said she likes arrogant so I slapped her ass before leaving and walked the other way without saying a word.

I don't know what to make of ANY of this!!! What the fuvk! What do I do?

[–]caporal247 146 points147 points  (6 children)

That sounds like a huge slut with a bunch of daddy issues and psychological problems.

Pussy is good,but it's wise to stay away from those kind of shit otherwise it's pretty easy for her to drag you down with her and her problems

[–]purduered 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Trp talks about scarcity mentality all the time. Spending time with a chick with all these red flags is not a wise move and lacks abundance imo

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That sounds like a huge slut with a bunch of daddy issues and psychological problems.

She admitted to literal whoring. Probably due to not understanding that she needs to show up on time every day in order to get paid for legitimate jobs.

[–]AloofusMaximus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any woman that's not a fat feminist kind of has a clue that her pussy is her power (and worth money). Honest to go go onto SA, and then go on to OKC/POF... I guarantee you'll see some of the same women there.

That being said the biggest mistakes I see on OPs part are... 1. You did a dinner date, don't do that. This gets expensive fast, I always do "drinks" (doesn't have to be alcohol). 2. You seem to have spent a few hours with her, don't do that (unless you're going for a same night lay). Your time needs to be more valuable.

[–]Aesthetic_God__ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's eight. Smoke some and forget about her, if you manage to just fuck her and go. I don't think it's worth anything else.

[–]garrypig -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Pussy is okay, but she’s the type that will only try 3 sex positions and then cry rape if you pull out your dick and ask for a blow job

[–]talexanderc 93 points94 points  (16 children)

Don't stick your dick in crazy

[–]garrypig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loose Lips Ruin Lives

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (19 children)

Why the fuck would you tell her you don’t like fucking on first dates

[–]Bruchibre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd say things like that too. "I'm not an easy boy".

[–]smirk_addict 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Well, I can't stand women like this. They say shit like this to get a reaction out of men and they revel in the fact most men will still try to fuck them no matter what they say or do. Also in future if she does something shitty, she's just gonna use some variation of "you knew I was crazy". But she wasn't lying about wanting men to dominate her. She just didn't want that man to be you. This about attraction to her, it was about power. She thought she was better than you. With all of that being said.... You fucking Hulk Smashed this shit test. Jordan in the fourth quarter shit. Completely obliterated her frame and she had to retreat.

I wouldn't do anything. She may contact you again and then it's possible she'll become some slave to your every desire. But the moment you reach out to her first, you've lost with women like this. Be careful. Women like this are a legitimate enemy to me. They truly don't like men but can't help but be attracted to our worse qualities. I think you got this though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also in future if she does something shitty, she's just gonna use some variation of "you knew I was crazy".

Yep. Most crazy women wait a little while though. Common tactic is: be sweet to you and fuck you real good a few times, then with teary eyes have "the talk" where they confess some abuse in their past that will bring them compassion. Then they will refer back to that as they reveal more over time and act like a crazy bitch.

It's the crazy bitch get out of jail free card, they think.

[–]kidkidkid123321[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm not going to message her anything. Shell come crawling to me.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 28 points29 points  (9 children)

and she openly told me she used to escort for rich powerful men who bought her her current apartment

Yeah, the date should be over at this point.

She asked me "If I don't take you back home tonight , will you be upset? I told her no, and that I don't like fucking women on the first date anyways". I think it was definitely a shit test.

It WAS a shit test. She is asking "can I make you an orbiter". You failed. Correct answer is "No, I won't be upset, there's plenty of opportunities out there" and NOT to agree to a subsequent date.

During our time at the harbour she said she likes arrogant and cold men. That's when it clicked. She was so abused as a child that she's grown a psychological attraction to her abuser.

And her definition of masculinity, yes. And another red flag.

I don't know what to make of any of this

Women are submissive, and sexual submission is pretty normal for them. But this girl is fucking trouble.

In the end she said she needs to leave, but it wasn't a very nice exit.

Yup. You were being sexual and she needed to leave because it was working, she was getting horny, but she doesn't see you as high enough value - so she leaves promptly. You're clearly not used to girls like her. But you do some of the sex things she likes. This is how she resolves the problem. Like you'd leave before the fat girl gets your pants off.

She said she likes arrogant so I

You were doing WHAT SHE WANTS. You start off being nice, and then you get arrogant when she says she likes that. You see the problem here?

[–]kidkidkid123321[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children)

Why doesn't she see me as high enough value? I'm good looking, in shape, and got her wet as fuck. Tbh she was dropping major shittests. She said I was just average, and stuff like that, to see how I react. I told her "have you ever seen an average foreigner with my Chinese skills and these looks?" Not sure how she took it.

She still hasn't deleted me from WeChat, which means she probably wants to keep the line of communication open.

Yeah, I see the problem in the last point. I'm already moving on, if she messages me and wants to fulfill my sexual desires so be it. I have other dates planned for this week with less crazy bitches.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Why doesn't she see me as high enough value? I'm good looking, in shape, and got her wet as fuck.

You come across as non understanding of her. You seem confused by her behaviour. You are reactive to her. This comes across through your own description, it'll be loud and clear to her.

I have other dates planned for this week with less crazy bitches.


[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She's "topping from the bottom".... meaning she's playing you by playing submissive.

You're being led around by the nose, which is unsurprising because she used to be a hooker.

[–]Mild111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or he didn't spend enough money for the experience he got out of her.

After failing the "sex on the first date" shit test and not deleting on social media, she just increased the "price" of sexual activity. In her eyes, he has to "go bigger" on the next "date" (financially) to stand a chance.

She was immersed in escort culture. She knows her market.

[–]Hugegains55 0 points1 point  (1 child)

During our time at the harbour she said she likes arrogant and cold men.

Aren't most woman unaware of what they like?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"like" and "attracted to" are different things...

women are very aware of what they like what they're attracted to.... they know they have to obfuscate it thought to maintain the beta resource flow.

[–]gaki123 0 points1 point  (2 children)


are you in China man?

[–]Iwannachokekatie -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

have you ever seen an average foreigner with my Chinese skills and these looks?

Are you dumb?

[–]gaki123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you dumb?

[–]2chazthundergut 5 points6 points  (2 children)

She sounds fucked up.

And you sound fucked up.

[–]Iwannachokekatie 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She sounds hot

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And fucked up.

Very often the crazy ones are wildcats in the sack.

[–]daxxipro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone who dated to a chick exactly like this for three years and almost got engaged - just have fun.

Fuck the shit out of her, pull her hair, drag her across the floor, hell even date her for a few weeks because the pussy will be good. And she'll get off on being a little fucktoy but, im warning you to not waste any emotional connection on this girl.

In the end, those daddy and childhood issues will be a torturing device for you if you end up getting in a relationship.

[–]aaaGreg 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Sounds like a pretty good date. Reading that things “clicked” for you, that you connected what you’ve read with what is happening right in front of you, is a very important step. This is excellent progress.

Just remember that this broken shell of a woman that you shared a few hours of your life with has a million sisters out there, equally or more fucked up. There’s plenty more sluts to choke and all sorts of other types to learn how to unlock. The world is your oyster my friend. That night was only a taste.

Don’t over-invest in this one. She is one of many. Keep improving. Keep moving forward. It is the only way, now that you know and have seen what is possible.

[–]kidkidkid123321[S] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Fuck. I love it. I shoved my thumb in her mouth and she suckwd it beside other people in the harbor. She was in a total trance! Do I follow up tomorrow? If so, what do I text her?

[–]aaaGreg 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Translating how the date went to how you should follow up is an art. And there are patterns to it, but no silver bullet or one size fits all.

Take a deep breath, use your discretionary time today to continue to improve yourself like you normally would (priority), and then later today use the search function to study up on previous posts about exactly what you’re asking. You are not the first or the last to ask these questions. TRP has the answers. Read, read again, apply, report back, improvise, report back.

You’re already on the journey my dude.

[–]classic729 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice response. Lift. STFU. Read the sidebar. Improve yourself.

[–]kidkidkid123321[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can I get your email to converse with you?

[–]kidkidkid123321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, she ran away. Straight up said she wants to go home. When I asked her "Alone?" She said "Alone"

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


[–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Where do I read it?

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]1alpha-zach 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Every man in the world needs to read this.

    Early in my rp journey while learning about BPD women I developed a sort of buffer due to my ego investments in women in which I would too quickly label a failed plate as a BPD. Then I met a real BPD woman and realized the others weren’t BPD.

    But as I experience women more and more, I conclude that it’s not binary but rather a spectrum. And all women fall on the spectrum of these different archetypes to some degree.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Absolutely. People get hung up on "here's this girl's awful traits, is she an official borderline?"

    If a woman has cluster b traits and is a bad person, then does it really matter whether or not the traits are severe enough to cause a psychologist to officially diagnose them? It's like the bald man/continuum fallacy.

    [–]theWay_she_goes_boys 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Jesus F. Christ, what a cringy read...first off, this seems like a raving sexual fantasy of some virgin incel anime-watching dweeb. Which I guess it is. If, in some weird case, any of this shit actually happened, here's what can be gathered: Nr.1 - you failed a basic shit-test and presented yourself as a beta orbiter. You dried her there and then. Nr.2 - after being all beta, you suddenly transform into a cold and arrogant ultimate alpha chad, only once SHE told you that is what she wants, and proceed to play amateur BDSM in front all the onlookers. Yeah, I'll go on a limp and say that's not what happened. Nr.3 - after failing everything in all the possible ways, she's so dry and weirded out (probably bored too) that she literally just storms off, evaporating to some fresh realm where dwells the chad. And YOU go snuggle and tuck into some paradoxical mindset in which you made her wet and crazy after you. Now that, dear gentlemen, is comedy right there.

    Summary - back to the drawing board anon. Read that sidebar and stop reading cheesy amateur erotic novels so much.

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I swear on my life every word that I typed here happened. Including me drying her up before turning Alpha Chad.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Next. Hard next. Also you failed a shit test and u sounded like a bitch.

    [–]Zanford 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    A Soviet military parade of red flags, dude.

    Maybe get an STD test since you kissed her, but you're probably OK. Just walk way. No contact.

    You might be itching to see her again just cuz the kinky shit you talked about has you turned on, and thinking she might be a unique fuck. So, I've got some good news for you: virtually every chick is kinky like this. One I started fooling around with BDSM, I discovered that basically every chick has had fantasies about spanking, hair pulling, choking etc. They all really get into it, get super wet and orgasm a lot, etc.

    Obv you need to learn the right ways to introduce the subject (super easy once you learn, esp now that popular chick lit like 50 Shades is full of it) and of course how to go back it. Like how to 'not-choke' (your hand nudges up against the jawbone, NOT against the actual throat, so she gets the sensation and pleasure of it without any actual air restriction) and general philosophy like safewords and aftercare.

    [–]420KUSHBUSH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome mixed with batshit crazy

    [–]kylerosa21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Wild story, but stay away from her. She’s a psycho.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Pussy's value = Female SMV / Shit you have to go trough to nail it squared

    [–]garrypig 1 point2 points  (0 children)


    Seriously, I just got out of a relationship with someone similar: abused by both parents physically, all her exes beat her and she even ended up with a broken nose, AND she’s a fucking stripper.

    She WILL try to get your attention by starting fights or trying to ‘ruin’ you. Ignore all of this unless you have to take legal actions.

    My ex got pregnant on purpose on the 2nd week to try to trap me in, didn’t tell me until 6 weeks later. Pregnant psychos are a hell of a lot of stress to deal with. Leave her IMMEDIATELY!!! You don’t want this, you don’t deserve this.

    My ex called the cops on me, when she was stalking me at my friend’s house, tried to run my friends over with a car, and then told the cops I was shooting people with a gun. I had 5 cops with guns pointed at me while I was workin on my car. Do you want this? The answer is no, you don’t want this.

    Do you want her to raise and abuse your blood offspring and turn them into psychos too?

    Now I have a lawyer on retainer, and her friends keep stalking me and trying to lie to the cops. I had to deal with cops who thought I was committing suicide a month ago.

    The craziness won’t stop, especially if you treat them nicely.

    Take it from me, slam some birth control, Plan B and the abortion pill into her next glass of water or smoothie or Dutch Bros Frappe, then make like an aborted fetus and head out! Soooooooo many red flags with chicks like these!

    If you want to hear more stories, lemme know!

    And btw, the sex was okay, but I did most of the work. You can find a much better girl than this whore.

    Also, the psychology behind these types of women, is that growing up abused or with daddy issues, being manipulative and controlling men is programmed into their psyche, it’s purely subconscious. They get used to manipulating you but when they realize that TRP and Alphas don’t take their shit, things intensify incredibly fast. They get mad at you because their subconscious stresses out because they can no longer control you in their subconscious. They don’t realize this because this is who they are and how they work, so they begin to blame it on little things and petty things. “I don’t like that you pee in the shower. This is why I fucked someone else last night.” Boom, instant drama! Now they can argue and fight with you.

    Look at her exes, are they losers? That’s because they’re easy to control and they’d come to her rescue in a heartbeat because they’re easy to control. She wants you to be like this, then she’ll get bored and breakup with you.

    I’ve got some research on why manipulative women date losers, and why manipulative women go psycho and all this shit. It’s scary, and people like these women should be in an asylum at best.

    TL;DR: from personal experience, she will try to ruin your life in multiple ways. Run and hope she fucks someone else and ruins their life

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    First: Do not catch feelz. This girl is going to be a Hurricane of PAIN if you do.

    Second: You break her by DOMINATING the FUCK out of her.

    Of Human Bondage – Uncle Vasya’s Guide for Men Who Like To Tie Up Young Ladies.

    You're welcome.

    [–]Scuzzin 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Where'd you meet this chick?

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)


    [–]Scuzzin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Signing up for Tinder yesterday

    [–]ThePhilaDood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She seems like a psychopath, am I missing something?

    [–]Ironic_Gangster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She's hookup material. Definitely not gf material. But, you knew that.

    [–]Wrath_of_Trump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Get ready to change your phone number. Hit and ghost

    [–]cptgoatsack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Treat her like a HB3 grade trash. You should do fine.

    [–]cl3537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You fucked up big time. You can't escalate like that in public when you can't go all the way. If you did all that in private you could have fucked her.

    [–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah, shit is insane. You know how there are guys who are basically only into using women like living cum rags? Well, there are women who like being those cum rags.

    It's easy to think of only guys as being fucked up, but there are certainly plenty of women who are virtually irredeemably fucked up as well. Pretty gross, but if you want to visit that world, it's up to you.

    Definitely don't ever try to relationship one of these broken lunatics, though.

    [–]mushroom_overlord 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    She ain't the only fucked up one. You should have just parted ways once this showed up in daytime conversation instead of getting in her face essentially calling her a slutty piece of trash who wants to be abused; perfect way to get accused of assault once she changes her mind. She wouldn't even have to make anything up, all she has to say is that you grabbed her throat and slapped her ass without consent.

    Sure, some girls will have their daddy issues come out in the bedroom and sometimes it's fine. But this kind of attitude should cross the line.

    Don't let women know you see through them as a rule, they need to think they have a way to eventually "get" you.

    No matter what, this girl is not an option, if she sends you anything just say "Sorry, I don't think this will work out" or something and block her.

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I think that will make her want me more.

    [–]its_meKnightSwolaire[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    From your story, my diagnosis is Oneitis for a crazy bitch.

    Do not proceed with this any further

    [–]Bedtimeshine 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I don’t know... I would have told her that ain’t me. That sexually she’s in my wheel house and I’ll rough her up and put her through the head board with the best of them. But if she wants that cold arrogant treating her like trash shit... she’s a beautiful woman and I’m sure she will have no problem finding it... like she has countless times before. And no doubt she could even get them to pay for the privledge. But she already knows that. That if we get to know each other and I grow to care for her that I will act like it but maybe it’s best that this stays a friendship. For some reason I would feel the need to be a rock on my own island and she can get on or not... no strings attached. That I won’t spend a second trying to change her but I ain’t changing for nobody.

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    That's alpha as fuck.

    [–]Bedtimeshine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Is it alpha that I can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not? I was going for sigma.

    [–]garrypig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Too many people here are encouraging you to go after her... obviously they’ve been with crazy, but can’t recognize psycho. This is psycho. Do you want her to ruin your life?

    Go watch Gone Girl and be glad that’s not you. If you end things now, you’ll have dodged a bullet.

    Even better, set her up with someone who has been complaining about to getting laid in awhile, and watch the drama for entertainment.

    [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    What do I do?

    I suggest you stay away if you don't want to end up in trial/jail. She seems fucked up. Maybe you went a bit far with the choking and speech thing... I think she might ghost you.

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Probably. She hasn't deleted me off Social Media yet though.

    [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well, you might just want to wait and see if she reaches back to you.

    Or if you can't wait / are too curious / really want to see her again, you might as well message her and ask her how she is and if she liked your encounter. Like I've read in other posts, keep the messages on your phone in case one day you need to prove that she gave consent and was happy. This seems too fucked up for me and I'm absolutely not into that, but each one to his own stuff :)

    I hope you don't leave marks on her neck when you do that...

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That sounds like it was probably awkward and contrived as hell.

    Also, she's so much a crazy slut that you shouldn't even fuck her or be around her.

    [–]Zenwarz 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I bet my ass that one will be cluster b personality, aka borderline. And the answer is go no contact and block her ass. Not worth any of it. The least she can give you is a std

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I messaged her a month later like a bitch "What are you up to Whore?" And that I want to tie her up. I'm out of this country in a month and will most likely never see her again, so I though, "meh, why not?"

    [–]Zenwarz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ah you’re in Asia too. Me too bro. I feel girls are redpilled here on steroids

    [–]majestyalphaq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lmao. The date was a joke. Probably made a bet with her friends about how much she can fuck up the date with you.

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] -1 points0 points  (11 children)

    I'm going to message her this tonight "Listen, I’m a working man. I have no time, and neither am I interested in, taking you out and sitting in front of you while you sit in silence like you’re used to with your escort clients. I know why you went home. You went home because me seeing through you made you so uncomfortable that you lost control of the situation, and you’re not used to that. Everything you could have been was ripped out of you – painfully ripped out – as a child. You’re a shell of a woman and deserve to be treated like one. Everything you lost you want put back the same way it was taken out – painfully. I’ve lost interest in getting to know you as a person, because I already know what type of person you are. You like being pathetic, you like being miserable, you want to be made helpless. I’m only interested in relegating you to a fuck toy and cum dumpster."

    [–]oyoungpadawan 2 points3 points  (9 children)


    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children)

    I don't give a shit anymore. This girl is unsalvageable. If she likes cold men, I'll give her coldness and darkness.

    [–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (6 children)

    this sounds bitter and butthurt not cold and dark

    if you were such a 'cold' man you'd have already forgotten her

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Then help me craft a reply. Because I know shell message me back. I may have been beta orbiter at the beginning, but j ended off as as alpha chad. This time, I set the frame.

    [–]sauron846 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Setting the frame would be not messaging her back until at least her third or fourth message. Replying with anything more than two words will break it.

    [–]kidkidkid123321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ok it seems I can't stop you from texting her

    at least sleep on it then

    [–]garrypig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It does, and it will only start a bitter fight.

    [–]Bedtimeshine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You should do the opposite and only be “cold” about the outcome.

    [–]garrypig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That will just start a fight. But yeah, go ahead and then watch how many times she tries to call you. It’ll be funny.

    If you want to play it safe though, make her think it was her idea to break things off. That’s the safest way to get rid of a psycho; become boring and let her end things.

    Also, she’s trying to get you to start a fight.