GF deletes all her WhatsApp chats (self.asktrp)

submitted by h4nkz

So my GF recently started deleting all her whatsapp chats, except the one with me and her parents. She says she wants to keep her phone clean and save memory space. Her social media is filled up with pictures of me and her and she removed her security code for me, although I did not ask for it. Also she lets messages pop up on her phone so I could read them anytime.

My ex gf started deleting her chats because she started texting with other dudes, that's why I'm curious.

Red flag? Should I confront her?

[–]Modbsutansalt[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children)

It's not what she's doing that is a red flag IMO, it's that it's a change in behavior I'd be cognizant of. Could be good, could be bad.

Personally I'm inclined to see it as a red flag in the sense she's covering her tracks. Some may see this as her way of demonstrating commitment and a desire to want to be trusted. The question I pose to those who believe such things is:

Where's this sudden desire for her to want you to trust her coming from?

As I've stated before, this is just one potential flag. We have no real understanding with regards to context, if there's other red, yellow, or green flags, and so on. On it's own, IMO it's a red flag, but there could be a ton of other context in your life and relationship that could well change our interpretation of her actions. Only you know the full story, so it's on you to make up your own mind.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 112 points113 points  (8 children)

This is either hiding something or it's commitment to you.

Let me make a suggestion: look at _other_ behaviour. No woman is perfect, but some are better than others. Try to live your life going forwards where if she does turn out to be a cheating whore you're fine, and if she turns out to be somewhat angelic then you're also fine.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 60 points61 points  (6 children)

Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 53 points54 points  (5 children)

This is exactly the post-anger-phase mentality that we all need to learn to adopt.

Neither trusting nor distrusting.... and certainly not too committed, vulnerable or exploitable. Men like to have good relations with women, and we can have that and be all the better for it - knowing it will end, and making sure we are ok when it does.

[–]Ozymanberg 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yep. Remember my anger phase when I first started out when I swore I would never be in a relationship lol now I'm starting to get into one. Feels great but at the same time I fully know what to expect and what to do if shit hits the fans. It is what it is.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The way I look at it is this: sooner or later the shit WILL hit the fan. It's not an if... it's not a possibility... it's a certainty.

I'm in a sort of ltr too (non-exclusive). Same thinking: shit will hit the fan sooner or later. I'm enjoying it while it lasts. There will be others.

[–]Ozymanberg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Random sentiment, but I'm incredibly grateful to have found this sub and the support y'all give. Peace to every brother in here.

[–]YouLoveThisBTW 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I like this sentiment/approach. But clearly is precludes cohabitation, marriage and kids. Awesome.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marriage is precluded yes.

Cohabitation depends on your state and country. In the UK for instance cohabiting confers no benefit.

Kids.... well. Your liability is for mother support*, but at least you don't lose everything, paying her lawyer to fuck your lawyer who you also have to pay before trying to live out your days handing her your hard earned cash every month in alimony.

*It isn't child support because it's paid to the mother and is unaudited with no responsibility for looking after the child placed on the mother. She can buy as many iPhones with your money as she likes.

[–]h4nkz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Solid advice, ty

[–]_the_shape_ 35 points36 points  (1 child)

How much space do WhatsApp text messages actually take up? How much (or how little?) space does her phone have? This one's a little hard to believe. Also, she wants to keep her phone "clean" huh? Funny little Freudian slip maybe?

If your gf had hyper-realistic portrayals of your face repeatedly tattooed all over her body that still wouldn't mean shit as far as a testament of fidelity is concerned. How much she professes to cherish you on an online platform won't stop her snatch from self-lubricating for Chad's meatball sub. I'm not telling you she's actually done something, but women ostensibly off the market (girlfriends/wives) fuck around behind their significant other's backs all the time.

Here's what I'd advise you to consider:

First, do your very best to put an end to any sort of stalking and spying on her. That sort of behavior is one of the quickest and most effective ways to drain every drop of frame within, and it's not the sort of thing you're going to want to do with the next girl (and I do sense that there will be another girl in your life at some point in the future).

You ever see a child slowly do something they're not supposed to do while staring at you in anticipation from the corner of your eye and think to yourself "this little shit must think I'm fucking blind or something lol"? Well, that's your girlfriend right now, trying to clumsily pull one past you, exactly like that sneaky little kid. The key though is to not sweat it. They're fucking pre-teens in the body of a woman, a lot of them. You don't lose your shit over that, and if you feel you are on the brink of doing so? Dump her. Not worth the gnawing anxiety by day, the stressful tossing and turning at night. The rage, the fear, the confusion, the resentment, none of it is worth it, and it will mount if you let it.

Start getting friendly with other girls. Become less and less available to this current gf. Focus more on working out and sorting your life out. Push her down your list of your priorities and start becoming radically self-centric. Consider these steps to amount to the wonderful little 'talk' you two would have had should you have taken a more BP approach, smile, say "good! Glad we came to an understanding!" (to yourself), and proceed to diligently do everything I listed above.

[–]h4nkz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Almost no space except you delete the chat&media. Thanks for your answer, I like it

[–]irishphilosopher 133 points134 points  (40 children)

Hit the eject button and don't look back.

Nobody starts cleaning up unless there's a mess.

Serious red flag.

[–]our_guile 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Nobody starts cleaning up unless there's a mess.

Great line that I need to remember.

[–]Kenny_Twenty 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You shouldn't remember it. It reduces the nuances of reality down to an unrealistic concept.

[–]redfinrooster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying... I think it's more like... no one cleans up the mess that people think they are cleaning up. Just because someone is cleaning up their whatsapp doesn't mean they are doing something shady, sometimes people read articles or hear advice or stories etc... Somehow becomes not about what they are cleaning up, it's that people view the act as suspicious enough, tried - convicted.

[–]KBeer01 69 points70 points  (3 children)

Nobody starts cleaning up unless there's a mess.

Sorry OP, but this is exactly it.

How do I know? Because I did exactly the same thing when I cheated on my ex.

[–]02537-41101 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Quite the unexpected twist

[–]btrpb 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yep. When I had an affair I was deleting all my message. Ex-wife still bloody caught me though 😆

[–]_PM_ME_YOUR_GOALS_ 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Cheating on your wife isn't something to be proud of.

[–]fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- 28 points29 points  (5 children)


1) Cleaning up a mess. Always the sign of a cheater.

2) “Look! Here’s my password! Have a look!” Pretending to be honest and open and letting you see only the cleanliness. Also the sign of a cheater.

[–]BendAndSnap- 4 points5 points  (4 children)

But any of the dudes can text anytime, including right when he looks. Why would she risk that?

[–]fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Depends on how many accounts she has and which one she is logged into when he’s around.

[–]Helpcalculus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what happened to my buddy. His phone was absolutely clean. And just when his gf was looking at his phone, that's when some chick texted him.

That was a fun day.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tons of apps and settings can hide that

Or just conduct cheating via some social media messenger that requires online log in and has no notifications

[–]mcr00sterdota 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Nobody starts cleaning up unless there's a mess.

I can relate to this myself XD

[–]Aesthetic_God__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too. I used to do that when other women texted me and my ex ltr got obsessed with checking my phone lol. I never let her though.

[–]Kenny_Twenty 17 points18 points  (23 children)

You're a dick for encouraging other men to be as fearful as you are. You don't know what's going on for sure, so reason accordingly.

[–]irishphilosopher -5 points-4 points  (22 children)

Fear would be trying to hamster this scenario. Fear would be staying with a bitch when she purposely covers tracks. Oneitis and lack of abundance.

A man with confidence and integrity would drop this girl like a hat for such questionable behaviour.

It is dysfunctional that she gives him her password. More so that he needs it for peace of mind.

Reasoning accordingly would be to understand there's no smoke without a fire.


[–]Kenny_Twenty 16 points17 points  (19 children)

No. You rationale is fear based. You fear being humiliated. You hear of a situation where someone may be in a situation where he's being humiliated. So you project your fear of humiliation onto him and tell him he's being cheated on when you don't know that for sure.

You are not advocating that he become certain of the circumstances before making a decision. And that's because your thinking is fear based.

I know most of you guys came here as victims and that's why you think the way you do but you need to shrug that shit off and not care so much. Don't engage your emotions so much. It clouds rational thought.

You're being weak.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why all the downvotes?

[–]irishphilosopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not entirely sure myself!

[–]AaronKClark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody starts cleaning up unless there's a mess.

Came here to say this. She's fucking around on you. 100% Sure.

[–]HitlerianNazi 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Get out my dude, or at least start meeting new girls

[–]thecarryone 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Hey men, unpopular opinion here.

Back then when I had one iPhone 4S, I used to do this shit all the time, would save me 2GB of space.

We know nothing about your or this girl, so for me, it doesn't mean anything. But you know her better then anyone here, only you can tell.

[–]i_like_herr 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I am a firm believer of where there is smoke there is fire and that you don't start cleaning unless there is a mess. That being said, it could be anything. She may be hiding something from her parents, you or maybe her friends. It doesn't have to be other boys, it may just be some weird astrology shit she's into or some other thing she's embarrassed about.

[–]Dehryll 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Forgot to delete my browsing history once, never let anyone use my phone again.

Porn sites have some weird shit you can't help but click on sometimes.

[–]syn1us 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I used to do the same when I was a teenager because I did not want my parents to find out that I was involved with the local far right. She's probably hiding something.

[–]kylerosa21 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think she may have a legit excuse.

I also use WhatsApp. It’s common to go back and delete conversations and such for the sake of space (WhatsApp takes up a LOT of space if you download content often)

[–]assholeofthesky 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Who cares, fuck her cunt, live your life and stop worrying about her texting other guys.

[–]9000sins 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is the red pill in a nutshell right here. Lol.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You want to know who hides shit?

People with something to hide.

[–]Nergaal 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The post is full of grammar errors. I suspect you are overly-stressed about this. There is a non-zero chance she is trying to commit to you by doing this. If you are willing to ignore that possibility, it's up to you. There is no unicorn, but not every woman is a a giant slut either.

[–]SeriousComparison2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, you know that she is burning evidence.
Erasing history that she doesn't want you to know.
Over-compensating now with "over-transparency". It is a "major WTF" red flag. You know it, we know it.

No need to confront, need to end it, learn from it and trust your intuition more.

Good luck.

[–]Herdsengineers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Regarding clean up - I do the same thing, but for me it's just texting and FB messages (don't do snap, whatsapp, etc.). I find my phone runs smoother and faster when I clear out the storage on it.

JMHO - she's either truthful and things are fine as she's otherwise open and giving you access to everything, or she's extra conniving and has a second phone somewhere you don't know about that she uses to contact her side guys.

I'm a fan of baby steps. I'd not say anything, keep my composure, and give it a little time. See how things turn out. If she's cheating there will be other signs that start coming out soon.

[–]numandina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The clockdown to your relationship has already begun.

[–]joscterr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Deleting messages WITHIN an app to save memory...in 2018... Does she have an LG Chocolate 2? Lol. Very likely she’s hiding something. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t regret or feel guilty about it, but nah bro, she had something in there. Good luck and always hold frame.

[–]BlackMisc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Defo red flag how full is her memory storage if shes got plenty left then she definitely lying

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


[–]PhaedrusHunt 2 points3 points  (3 children)

If she was cheating who fucking cares. If she is cheating but treating you well, who fucking cares.

Seriously? Maybe he doesn't want to raise some other guy's kid or get herpes. Maybe he expects commitment. Jesus.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    He said GF, which is not a plate. GF is LTR

    [–]2chazthundergut 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    It's a honey trap.

    She wants access to your stuff, and she wants you to stop messaging other chicks. This is just stage one.

    Are you exclusive with her? Are you spinning plates?

    [–]h4nkz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    We are exclusive. Interesting thought. She posts pictures of me and her all the time and writes love poems beneath them. I don't do this. Maybe she thinks I'm texting other girls.

    [–]justicecantakeanap 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Red raging flag, bail out

    [–]stylesm11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nobody deletes shit unless they hiding something, run before you catch heart ache

    [–]1redhawkes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Your gut is telling you something, that's why you came here.

    [–]mrrooftops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If she believes she is deleting this stuff because of you then she will resent that. And she will think that. Why? Because everything a girl does in a relationship she can rationalize as being the man's fault. Good luck with whatever advice you take in here, she's just taking any 'deleted' conversations to telegram or Facebook or even Instagram DMs.

    [–]OptimalMale1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I never delete anything

    Theres a reason she is doing it buddy

    [–]ArticulateSavage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If there's any doubt, there is no doubt. Next.

    [–]letmereadthatshit 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    I'm no expert but I learned here that I have to always talk to other girls this way if she is cheats or gets distant or starts losing interest who cares I can just start fucking another girl.

    [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I get it. I'm not talking to anyone other than my. LTR but I can rustle up some pussy pretty easily.

    [–]letmereadthatshit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Yep start talking to other girls this way you will feel more abundance and she will notice and eventually she's gonna start investing again and if she doesn't and you start to get bored just fuck the other girl or girls and then you won't care that she's deleting her chats I'm still learning so take my advice with a grain of salt not even sure if that's the right expression

    [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Abundance comes from knowing you can go out and get after it again whether we're talking women, money, whatever.

    Think of sonny Chibas character in kill bill. He's the retired sword maker, just having a good time running his restaurant, talking shit with the kid. DGAF. Abundance. And he comes out if retirement and makes a sick ass sword.

    But you should only "retire" when you really know what you're doing. In TRP the equivalent of retiring is dropping plates and entering an LTR. I have no plates right now, just a GF. But if we broke up tomorrow I could have four plates in a month. So, even though I have no plates per see, I have abundance even moreso than if I were gaming and fucking multiple women right now.

    [–]Ozymanberg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't think you should eject so quickly. However, be aware of it. There's a great quote from poker that says, "Trust everyone but cut the cards." Basically, trust but don't be an idiot. Keep her around (as long as you remember the handy rules of avoiding oneitis) and fuck her. But if shit keeps getting ridiculous, next her.

    Also, always keep gaming other girls. It doesn't matter whether you sleep with em or not. Do it solely for the purpose of keeping the wheels oiled up so you don't go out rusty if shit goes south with your current gf.

    [–]Mrlean12345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Don't confront; Dump. She's a hoe. Been there seen that.

    [–]TheBrokenRuler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If she isn't sexting other men, then other men are at the very least hitting on her, and she's not reciprocating... but she's also still talking to them, which means it's a matter of time until she reciprocates.

    These hoes ain't loyal

    [–]yesbuthereswhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My wife keeps all of her stuff on her phone. Granted, she doesn’t really comprehend storage space but still. I would practice your catch and release as it looks like you’ll be releasing your gf back to the wild.

    [–]IronJohnKwando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    People will lie to save themselves without thinking twice.

    Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe not. Maybe she had an assload of orbiters on there that she would flirt with to keep them spinning. Maybe she was sending nudes. Maybe she actually physically cheated on you. Who knows? The point is you can choose to trust her or trust your gut.

    Do not confront. She will lie until you have hard evidence to prove otherwise. Then you'd get the answer in small trickle truth pieces.

    [–]DntPnicIGotThis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    stop being so paranoid. you can't control what she does with her phone and if she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat.

    The best defense is a good offense. build yourself up. financially, physically, socially. work on YOUR dread game. work on your idgaf attitude.

    Never stop lifting.

    [–]zboo1h 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My recent ex had been acting funny for a week or two, and my gut screamed to distance myself and demote her back to plate status, but man she was so pretty and nice, oneitis, etc. So I let a lot of stuff EXACTLY LIKE THIS slide by and told myself I'm just being paranoid.

    Then, in a fit of paranoia, I looked in her phone. She was having all kinds of nuts busted on and in her from various guys for at least a week.

    What MattyAnon said: look at other behaviors. I overlooked signs like she was becoming distant, uncommunicative, disrespectful in little ways, and most of all the sex dried up and became vanilla. Those behaviors are fucking signs, my man, read them.

    [–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    All women court the attention of other men. Anyone who's worth your time is going to have guys orbiting them, unless she's ugly. She might not be cheating on you, she might be trying to hide the messages from orbiters so you don't get the wrong idea.

    Make no mistake though that when you slip up any one of these dudes are going to try to pounce on her like she's prey or some shit.

    On the other hand there's a chance she could be cheating on you. My advice would be to ignore and not worry about it unless solid proof comes your way.

    [–]Thunderfin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If she doesn't want to tell you why, red flag, get away ASAP!

    [–]geturcraptogether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Red flag, but remember - WhatsApp backs up to the cloud so it's not REALLY deleted. 👌

    [–]wheresMYsteakAt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She recently started this? She's cheating.

    [–]rolleN1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    When my mom was cheating on my bluepilled dad, she always used to 'clean' her phone. Messages, last calls - everything. Just a heads up, OP. Stay vigilant, do negative visualization, w/e.

    [–]blackswans042 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You know I have a friend who is a drug dealer, he also deletes all his whatsapp messages, except with his gf.

    She may be a drug dealer?

    Or she is cheating?

    Who knows.

    [–]rptexan8 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I had an ex doing the same thing with Kik long ago. I eventually made my own acct she did not know about and hit her up pretending to be some random dude. Will admit I kept the charade going for months. It was fun and actually sexy to fuck with her once I knew I had control of the reality of the situation.

    [–]faint-smile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Oh wow.

    [–]BurnieSlander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She wants to keep her phone clean and save memory space

    This is either a lie (most likely) or your GF is an idiot.

    How do I know? Because I asked Google “how many pages of text can be stored in a 1 Megabyte? Answer: just under 4,000. That’s PAGES of text.

    So, if 4,000 pages of text = 1MB:

    4,000 X 500 words per page = 2 million words

    Average txt msg length = 120 characters (20 words)

    2 million words / average txt msg length = 1MB of text data = 100,000 txt messages.

    Even the crappiest phone available has 2GB of storage. 2GB is 2,000 MB. Just 1GB could hold 100,000,000 (that’s one hundred million texts), which equates to her taking a lot of dick that isn’t yours.

    [–]onizloms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My girlfriend did something similar, she deleted one chat with a dude who she used to have a history with. They never dated or had sex or whatever but they had some kind of teenage attraction. He reached out to her and she texted with him for a bit then deleted. I confronted her, she told me she told him she met someone, that his time was up and she wasn't interested anymore and deleted him out of respect for me. I still asked to see the conversation history on the cloud and she was honest. Moreover she deleted hundreds of people from facebook and like 10 dudes from insta. Told me they were all people that hit her dm's before we met and a couple of them she had a ONS with. I already knew since I snooped before.

    So thread carefully, your girl could be saying the truth. As MattyAnon said, look at how she behaves in general.

    [–]Retstortion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She’s cheating.

    [–]Newmando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I recently had a girlfriend/FWB who did the same. Constantly deleteing chats but one day showed me a chat from a lad saying "Fancy a shag" and her replying "No I have boyfriend"

    Unfortunately this is a red flag.

    I would reccomend a hard next. She will most likely try and make you feel you are overracting.

    Listen to your red pill intuition. Hold frame.

    And keep in your head you're the prize.

    [–]mravek -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Tell her to borrow you her phone for a week and wait for it.

    [–]UncleChido -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Confronting her makes you seem needy, which you perhaps are, as you snoop through her texts.

    Abundance mentality mate. You’re the prize here. You should care less about all that. Until you actually catch her cheating, you have no reason to call it off. My opinion.

    [–]BeeBopJoe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)