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I think we should take a break. (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

Fun times.

So girl I was considering for an LTR. Been hanging out she replies instantly to my texts. Never turned down a chance to hang out and does what I want and hasn't really caused me any problems.

So we never discussed LTR or exclusiveness. I go in and she says we need to talk. I am expecting the whole, "Where is this going."

We sat down and she said, paraphrasing:

"I think we should take a break from seeing each other for a while."

Perhaps a bit in shock I just said, "Ok" stood up and started leaving as I get to the front door she is crying in her living room. I can hear her.

In my car driving home thinking wtf. My phone is blowing up. Ignored it until I was home to safely use my phone. ~15m drive.

Messages:

I knew you weren't taking this seriously

I just wanted to end this before I got hurt. I really like you xx

Come back I want to talk xx

Followed by 3 missed calls.

Wtf is this shit and why has my potential LTR went fucking mental? Was I too distant? Too alpha failing comfort tests?

I am not entirely put off of an LTR. How do you even resolve this as a conversation? Why are you randomly ending our contact as a test?

Thoughts welcome.


[–]FrameWalker 74 points75 points  (1 child)

You did the right thing man. She wanted an LTR, but with absolute control. She went the nuclear option and you did what any self-respecting man would do.

Sorry this one fried itself :(

[–]illusiveab 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Precisely..this whole wall of text is a huge red flag and basically did you a huge favor. Move on OP.

[–]Apexk9 44 points45 points  (10 children)

She may have been testing to see how you would react and it backfired for her but helped you out.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (9 children)

What is the best or hopeful out come for her?

[–]SnugglySadist 23 points24 points  (8 children)

You respond like a beta bux and give her power in the relationship.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (7 children)

In this situation I should do what? Go silent for a short period then arrange coffee or something. This is going to push the idea of exclusiveness forward and while I was willing to give her that I dont want to reward this kind of behaviour.

[–]Smigg_e 59 points60 points  (2 children)

Lol tell her you like her as well but you're a little caught off guard that she would end it like that. Tell her you don't know if you can trust her now but still talk to her and see her. Act suspicious of her intentions now and she'll be eating out the palm of her hand. You called her bluff and you win. Keep it up.

[–]fakefalse 37 points38 points  (1 child)

I agree with this. Careful though. She showed you something. I know i know, AWALT. but seriously. She was running a power play instead of being strait up with you. Never forget that. This is what she is dude. Watch out for oneitis.

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

[–]Smigg_e 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Balls in his court. This the type of shit tests I wish for. Now he has all the power! Women are fun.

[–]zather 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This happened to me recently, she already wants to end it. Walk away. She will just power play until she can't anymore, don't give her space to do so. In your mind just frame it as over. Move on.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you want to be done with her, don't contact her anymore. You don't owe her anything, don't give her closure, she doesn't deserve it and it doesn't help you. If you still want her to snarf your nuts, you can reframe it so that a FWB situation is possible.

[–]flatox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen, this isn't going to lead anywhere worthwhile. You know this damn well, what she did was a mindtrick which failed. Do you want someone who attemps to manipulate you like this? Because eventually, she will succeed, one way or another.

[–]wehadtosaydickety 66 points67 points  (0 children)

My man

[–]laere 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Gj waiting until you got home to use your phone. Fkn kids these days causing accidents while on their cells

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Broheim, you now have total hand.

Get many blow jobs, but also be a kind and just ruler lol.

[–]speed3_freak 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christ on all these freaking responses. This is Woman class 101. She sprobably sensed that you had thought about making her a LTR, and she decided to force your hand.

"Since you aren't taking this seriously, we should take a break."

You handled it exactly how you should have by saying OK and walking. Her frame of mind went, "Oh Shit. I've fucked up, now I have to fix it."

You now have all the power. You can do one of two things. Use her and abuse her like /u/trudatness has said. No one would or should blame you. Or, you could LTR her knowing that you've proven you have the upper hand. It all depends on what you honestly want.

That's what we should all be here reading TRP for. We are men, we are people, and we should all be honestly after what we honestly want. If you want to hit and quit, own it. If you want to get married and have 12 kids, fuck anyone who tells you otherwise.

All I know is that the person who is willing to walk has all of the power. She faked like she was willing to walk, and you showed her you were. She backed out, and now both of you know who has the power in the relationship. Wield that power responsibly and kindly, but above all else, do what you want to do.

[–]RedDeadlift 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She was hoping you would beg her not to cut contact, thus shifting power to her. Her next line would have probably been demanding an LTR and expecting you to agree.

Regardless, that's a real childish way to try to talk about being more serious. You did the right thing. I'd be hesitant to get into an LTR with this chick. If you still talk to her, pretend she's a 5 year old girl whenever she says something.

[–]SexistFlyingPig 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You were outcome independent. The outcome wasn't what you were hoping for.

Moving right along, nothing to see here.

A response you could have had to the "I knew you weren't taking this seriously" comment is "I was taking this very seriously, but you've made it clear that was a mistake". But really, no response is required.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Well played.

99.9% of the time "I think we should take a break" means she's branch swinging to someone else. Probably nothing you did, just AWALT. It was just your turn with her.

I just wanted to end this before I got hurt.

Typical female blame-shifting bullshit. The likely scenario is she has another dude lined up but doesn't want to feel guilty about dumping you, so she flipped the script and made you the culprit.

Don't even consider her for a LTR because she's likely to pull this shit again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[–]NickCiufi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the correct post.

[–]-rubashov 22 points23 points  (2 children)

She had you pegged for a relationship and I would suggest viewed you more on the beta side than the alpha.

"I think we should take a break from seeing each other for a while."

Is almost always code for "I've found a guy I want to fuck, want your approval and in case he doesn't commit to me you'll be my backup plan."

Your alpha give no fucks response has caused her proper cognitive dissonance. She wants to see you again to confirm you as a beta.

Don't waste your time with her, hard next.

[–]SirAlphaFuxalot 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Is almost always code for "I've found a guy I want to fuck, want your approval and in case he doesn't commit to me you'll be my backup plan."

Or just as often it's a guy she's already fucked and wants to see if she can do a full branch swing.

Hard next is the answer if you want peace of mind. Otherwise, she drops a couple levels and never rises to potential LTR again.

[–]-rubashov 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

My senses say in OP's case plating won't be possible as she views him as a provider not as AF.

Someone said in the main sub that once a women messes up she can never go higher than her previous status again. In OP's case not higher than a plate.

Decent rule of thumb.

[–]long-lostfriend 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Game player. Next.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A TRP comment with a"kek" in it. You made my day.

(not being sarcastic I once WOWed too.)

[–]abcd_z 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Now go radio-silent for a week, then resume interactions with her like nothing happened. It's called a Soft Next and it's devastatingly effective.

[–]3rt41 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hard next this

[–]abcd_z 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hard Nexts are for when she does something unforgivable, such as threatening your physical or financial health. This is a bog-standard shit test which OP accidentally passed with flying colors, and as such it really only requires a Soft Next; leave her alone for a week, then resume contact like nothing happened.

[–]PabloEscoba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is in a middle of a branch swing. She just took you walking away as rejection. It has everything to do with her feelings and NOTHING about u. Never talk to this woman again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I think we should take a break" Me : laugh hysterically scroll Facebook

[–]DarkisKnight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with others. You made the right move and she was testing you for commitment. If you're interested in seeing where this goes you can re-engage and talk. She'll most likely be receptive from her reaction. Don't give away your whole hand by offering commitment.

[–]anooblol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool guys don't look at explosions. As you were walking out, you heard her nuclear actions exploding into tears. You sir... Are the fucking man.

[–]TrueFacets 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Invite her over. Tell her you will see her but she better think of a good apology AND has to give you a mean blowjob. If she is apolegetic and does everything to your satisfaction, then ok. Tell her it was disrespectful and that you will not tolerate stuff like that in the future! Be serious but dont yell. Then tell her that things are good again between you two.

If she starts to act up during this, degrade her to plate for an unspecified amount of time. If she totally refuses then you are probably not her only option anymore...

[–]abcd_z 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell her it was disrespectful and that you will not tolerate stuff like that in the future!

Sure, if you want drama. Me, I choose not to do shit like this. But hey, whatever works for you.

[–]rickaboy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Call her out on not being direct about what she wanted. Ie. She told you she wanted to break up because REALLY she wanted you to be more serious.

That's an immature way to communicate.

[–]dota2nub -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

... you follow the advice of people who tell you explicitly not to get in an LTR ever, and then you're surprised when that great advice blows up your LTR chances?

Dude, if it smells like shit, and when you step in it you've got shit on your foot, it was probably shit.