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Being a pussy about escalating has fucked me over again, how do i stop being a pussy? (self.asktrp)

submitted by freetolayd

Obvious answer: Escalate

I've done a good job over the past three years in self improvment: Lifting, dieting, hobbies, dressing, meditating, social skills, etc...

As such, i've managed to get myself into situations where i could've fucked 3 girls over the past year, all greater than or equal to HB7

Problem: I have very little sexual experience, and i puss out and fail to escalate, and they lose interest. I got laid once in the past year (the girl was a 5), but that's because the girls was taking the lead (SMH, i know)

At any rate, my present situation has me with a 7.5, i got invited to her house, we got drunk, her roomates went upstairs and we were watching a movie and BS'ing. I COULD NOT bring myself to sit on the same couch as her and make a move... Fucking Pathetic. She's ignoring me at the moment, that's fine. I figure my best chance to un fuck this is double down on the ignoring, and next time i see her make a fucking move. Otherwise, move the fuck on.

My question: Teach me escalating 101, break it down point by point


[–]all4gibs 84 points85 points  (8 children)

a verbal little trick i liked to do in my early bluepilled days to get warmed up while when talking to a girl: i would make a sexual comment with the usual plan to backpedal like a bitch and say “just kidding”

a change i made to this blue thinking was to drop the part where i would usually say “just kidding” and instead maintain eye contact, adding a smirk if the situation was right

reactions from women pulled a 180. instead of completely ignoring my “jk” advances, suddenly more women were listening to me and playing along with the verbal escalation. it turns out that saying “jk” is a passive-aggressive way to say “i don’t want to be held responsible for anything that could happen between us”, and women HATE that

as far as physical goes, always start light to get comfortable. it’s not until you’re a regular mac at a club that you should get more aggressive from the start

but it seems like you’re terrified of letting a girl know you like her. you need to break this conditioning. you’ve been conditioned to believe that men are repulsive. that YOU are repulsive. this is absolutely poisonous to you, and any potential family you could start in the future

you may have gone through the active TRP motions to improve, but you need to go through the motions to understand that you are attractive to women. maybe not every woman, but multiple women

maybe it’s just your point of view: you don’t get turned on personally by the idea of a dick in your face, but women absolutely do (with the right dude). if they respect you, they won’t be able to get enough of it

do some reading that might help you understand that women are attracted to men, and get out of that bubble where you feel like you’re unattractive or undesirable. its the man’s job to make the first move. this poison is holding you back more than you realize

almost forgot

in your situation here you know what you should’ve done

as soon as they went upstairs, you should’ve called her over to sit on your lap. she would have

at this point it’s almost impossible not to feel her up and get her riled up by kissing on her neck. after a good couple minutes, you start off by taking her shirt off and telling her your dick isn’t going to suck itself. the rest is easy

[–]freetolayd[S] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Spot on man. Read me like a book, but you're 100 percent right with everything.

I know now what i have to do

[–]all4gibs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

thanks for the gold bro

[–]life_is_dumb 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I really like this. One thought I've had recently is I've really been undervaluing the concept of escalating verbally first. For example, I had an HB8 over at my place the other night. I should have asked what color bra she was wearing and looked her straight in the eyes while asking. And once she told me I should have said well prove it. Simple right? Almost too obvious! But all it takes is courage and then you've opened the window for physical advances.

At least that's how I picture it in my mind.

The game really changes with high SMV women. I can game lower SMV women allll day long in my sleep (that doesn't say much I realize).

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I completely disagree. "Verbal" escalation can often be "creepy." Sex is all about the primitive brain. It's about shutting off both your and her thinking brain and indulging in feelings. Some guy suddenly asking, "so what color is your bra?" can easily provoke the girl into thinking "what is wrong with this guy?" Whereas just kissing her will get her thinking, "hmm this feels nice."

It's not rocket science. Get close to her, escalate physically and slowly meaning start by incidental touch and progress to hand-holding, caressing, and then eventually kissing. Don't talk about it - just do it.

She knows you talking about this stuff rather than just doing it is that you're actually scared of rejection. Kiss. Don't ask to see her bra like some little boy in her kindergarten class.

[–]all4gibs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i’d take the moderate point of view. i think mentioning something sexual will put the idea in her head if it isn’t there already, which can help change the atmosphere from casual to sexual in an instant

but if you’re already escalating throughout the meet/date, you won’t need to verbally escalate at all

in OP’s scenario it was a casual setting and he needed to change the atmosphere

most of the time women are more perverted than men anyway. bringing it out of her is the fun part

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

but you need to go through the motions to understand that you are attractive to women

This is huge, after years of being a fatass incel it is the hardest for me to wrap my mind around that women could possibly be attracted to me now that I am fit.

[–]Fedora_Tipper_ -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Quick question, do you actually say"this dick isnt going to suck itself?" I'd like more strategies to initiate blowjobs but it seems beta to ask and messed up to try to push her head towards the D. So how do you typically initiate blowjobs?

[–]all4gibs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, it worked on the last 2 plates before i got into my LTR. one was while i was driving, and she (a HB7 or 8) immediately put her hair up and dove in

with my LTR i’ll push her head down. sometimes more forcefully than others, but usually playfully. never enough to physically hurt her neck. not sure why you feel like it’s messed up. maybe you’ve seen too much feminist propaganda

the forcing thing you can’t do unless you’ve already vetted the girl to make sure she isn’t some psycho anti-male type. stay away from those or you’ll end up on national TV in a bad way

also, i wouldn’t hard-label asking for a BJ to be beta. if it’s coming from a place of neediness, then yes. if it’s coming from a place of “i kinda have shit to do but i’d be down with it if she’s in the mood” it’s fine every once in a while. more often than not it should be a command

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Still have mommy issues.

-Women are there to follow your leadership, be your playthings, qualify themselves to you, and to entertain you. Not the other way around. Women aren't your mother figure. You don't need their permission to do anything. You only need their compliance.

-If they don't do these things, their value to you is almost non-existent.

-It doesn't matter what they do or don't think of you, as long as they follow your leadership and are willing to be your playthings.

-You're still thinking you need to qualify yourself to them by "not being a jerk" or "not being a creep." Stop trying to qualify yourself. That's a completely useless line of thinking.

Focus on taking steps to get what you want out of the situation.

-You're either the guy who is having as much fun as possible with her, or you're the guy who isn't having any fun. Do you want to have sexy fun times? Then do it.

Why are you being so boring?

[–]freetolayd[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Right on the nose with the mommy issues. I had a terrible childhood fueled by a single mother

My issue isn't so much not being a jerk, i figured that out and it works well.

For me it's the "Not being a creep", as well as the fear of rejection and awkwardness that will follow, AKA cowardice, which i think stems from one time when i got a hand in the face as i tried to go in for the kiss... But whatever, quit being a bitch is the right answer.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 3 points4 points  (0 children)

which I think stems from one time when i got a hand in the face as i tried to go in for the kiss...

You mean, blaming yourself for the fact that some cuntasaurus chose to assault you.

Consider if you will, all of the possible ways she could have chosen to respond to that situation, that weren't criminal acts. I mean, sure she may have felt threatened by the situation, but if so why didn't she tell you to fuck off, or walk away?

But you know, the fact that she was a cuntasaurus doesn't matter, it was really because you were a "creep" or something, am I right? You really deserved misdemeanor assault because you weren't attractive enough for her to want to kiss you.

Self-pity is a sickness.

But I can give you some background on this. Most women (and beta men) are constantly mentally abusive to themselves. This naturally leads to the mentality that weak, undesirable people deserve disrespect, judgement, and abuse for being weak. This is a malignant Scarcity Mentality.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post reminded me of something. I remember a news report a while ago about a fraternity in my area got in trouble for hazing. The ritual was, the new prospects had to take shots of whiskey or something, then they took turns bitch-slapping each other. Whoever dropped his poker face first was the loser and didn't make the cut, or had to do something to suck up to the senior members.

Anyway, there was an accident and one guy ended up needing eye surgery or something, police report was made, lawsuits ensued, etc.

I guess my point is, you should see taking a slap in the face as a badge of honor, not some excuse to live in fear and blame yourself for years.

[–]MusicSports 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Just a reminder that you're not alone. Few days ago dancing and sexual tension with a girl. Literally telling me how horny she was and how the music was making her hornier. Grinding on me after a little bit. Puppy dog eyes. Couldn't bring myself to move the 3 inches with my lips to seal the deal. She ended up flirting with and texting my friend by the end of the night. Still feel like a dumbass actually aching inside. Thank you so much for posting this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every man has made a mistake like that. Just learn from it and don't repeat it.

[–]Inchado 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Look deep into her eyes with a smirk like you know she's secretly a little slut who can't wait till she gets her pussy pounded hard. Look at her like you know she fools everyone else around her besides you. You know her secret. She can't fool you. She's a little slut and only YOU know it.

Get up close, treat her like a little child, be dominant. Then as soon as you're up close, grab the back of her head and go for the kiss.

The last 3 girls I fucked all rejected my first kiss, which I went for within 5 minutes of talking to them. I did this because I knew they were attracted to me.

I knew they all wanted it and were just playing hard to get and testing my frame. Act unfazed. In fact, if you demonstrate her silly attempt to rattle you is slightly funny to you, like a little child trying to fight a grown man, it gets them even more attracted.

I smirked, pulled back, kept chatting, went for it again. One of the girls rejected me 3 times until I sat down, played like I wasn't going to bother anymore and she pulled my head and buried it in her boobs.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]freetolayd[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You're telling me cus

I feel like a fucking loser rn, and rightfully so.

[–]SelfUnmadeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been there, done that. Don't beat yourself up too hard... you made it to the final stage and simply stopped playing.

Everything you did, right up until you quit, was working.

You've got a very good chance of success next time.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey 4 points5 points  (1 child)

When I was in college and still really bluepill, I had a buddy who got laid a lot. I realized he wore "I wanna fuck you" on his forehead with every girl he talked to. I asked him about it and he said "as soon as I start talking to a girl she knows what I'm all about".

If you treat every conversation with every girl in a way like you want to fuck her, even if you don't, it becomes easier and second nature with the ones you do.

My realization and trick was when in a situation like you described, she either expects you to make a move, or should. If you make a move and she resists, it's never "sorry" it's "well we're alone on your bed. What did you expect?"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Dude, pay escorts-you are putting pussy on a pedestal. (if it's legal to check backpage in your state and read the guides on not getting into a situation that would be illegal) You could tell the escort i'm going to tell you to kiss me and then do it, it could be a good confidence booster for you.

[–]DJRoombaINTHEMIX 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Wtf, no. You don’t kiss hookers. What the fuck is wrong with you people? All of these posts wreak of desperate wannabe D.E.N.N.I.S systems. It’s like you all took that joke as how men should act in real life. Women don’t fall for this bullshit and if they do it’s because they’re probably more desperate than the lot of you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I google the dennis thing and that's weird lol. My point on hookers was he is placing way to much value on physical stuff and it would be less intimidating if he knew he could always just pay for it.

[–]DJRoombaINTHEMIX 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Or, you know, he could be a normal human being and realize that asking TRP for advice on how not to be a pussy is going to get him shitty advice that will make him look like a rapist if he followed through with half of it. I’m no feminist, but the fact that most of these posts start with, “I’m pretty good looking” and then go on to ask how to have a normal interaction with the opposite sex just shows how completely off-base people here are with all these stupid fucking acronyms making women out to be these scheming whores whose only purpose in life is to be a walking cum receptacle.

Here’s an idea. Maybe treat women as the human beings they are who have interests and feelings, and perhaps ask them questions to figure out what those are if you have a desire to learn as much. People here are absolutely fucking ridiculous and if any female worth pursuing actually read this crap and knew that you posted here for advice, they would be so creeped out that you wouldn’t have to ask this forum why you’re having trouble ‘escalating’, they’ll tell you how fucking stupid you all sound. You shouldn’t need a pickup artist or a forum full of r/the_donald followers to speculate on how to act towards women like a normal fucking human being.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After this post i'm assuming you're trolling...

Paying an escort does not make him look like a rapist?

Making women out to be these blah blah...I don't personally feel that way, but the red pill actually does have the all women are like that, AWALT acronym.

The red pill talks a TON about women's feelings.

You are on an extreme sub leaning one way, I picked out the parts that I liked (lifting, a little about managing my relationship, etc) When you go off touting about how the ideas and stuff don't work you have to realize it's proven to work, there are tons of success stories.

[–]DJRoombaINTHEMIX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, paying an escort to be more confident with making a move on a girl is not just pathetic, it's fucking disgusting. This place talks about how to be an alpha male but really, the sub is full of sexually inexperienced kids who seem to be 20 years and younger. Women's feelings? People here even suggest "alpha widowing" women, which in reality, translates to getting a girl pregnant, and leaving her with the child making you a deadbeat dad, which is one of the worst types of people, all under the guise of "spreading your seed".

[–]Renzotl56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll keep it short and simple. Regret is worst then rejection. Shot your shot and live with no regrets.

[–]chirpmaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By not acting like a pussy!

[–]Spurnout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are what you eat....jk...