TRP makes it seem like "getting plates" is as easy as getting groceries. (self.asktrp)

submitted by Sketti-Os

I've done a lot of reading on here. Most of which I agree with, especially the grand scheme of what TRP is trying to convey. It seems like a lot of questions are answered by "just getting more plates". Stuck on oneitis? Just get more plates. Not as self-confident as you'd like to be? Just get more plates. Having trouble getting more plates? Just get more plates.

I find that to be not as easy as that, and I can't be the only one. I've been tackling my approach anxiety, and have improved drastically given my geographically-limited options for social growth. Nonetheless, I've only successfully 'plated' one girl, and I don't feel like that was through conventionally-redpill means.

Do you guys have a basic outline on how to "plate" girls? I realize these things can't, and shouldn't be boiled down to an exact science, but is there a general similarity in the process of "plating" a girl, starting from nothing?

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]conspirized 25 points26 points  (20 children)

I think you're only getting part of the message. From what I understand, a huge portion of TRP is about self-improvement. The ease of getting plates comes as a result of that.

It's not like someone can give you a bullet-point list that says "this is how you have regular sex with multiple women without any type of emotional investment" and then magically it's, as you said, like going to the grocery store.

One thing I can guarantee you, however, is that if you work to improve yourself physically (work out), financially (work on your career), and emotionally (avoid things like "oneitis" and maintain the "abundance mentality") then you will find that you will be much more successful with women. Hence my logic: self-improvement is the most important thing you can learn from TRP.

So, here's your "how-to."

  • Increase your SMV (That is, Sexual Market Value)
  • Talk to women.

[–]Sketti-Os[S] 5 points6 points  (17 children)

My post might indicate that, but I understand the self-improvement part. I've been working out, so much so that my family and few friends joke about me living at the gym, being a meathead, etc. I'm on the shorter end, so I gotta put in work. I get it. As for the career, I picked a prime field. I'm 23 making 6 figures. Being a nerd is paying out. I dress the part, tailored suits and whatnot. I'm well on my way to getting my pilot's license, just for shits and giggles.

But I refuse to monk mode it, because I know I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. The thing I need to work on most is social interaction. Monk mode would just inhibit my overall growth in that aspect. I wouldn't call my approach anxiety severe by any means, but it's something that I definitely have to muster up the courage for each time. It's Joe-Schmoe anxiety. And no oneitis for me, gladly. I was just using that as an example of things I've seen more plates being the be-all-end-all answer to.

I'm just sick of seeing everyone say the answer to everything is more plates.

"Oh hey, I'm new to TRP and--"


And I get a little more angrily-confused when they write back,

"Oh wow, yeah, more plates was totally the answer! I'm currently spinning twenty plates and my life is so much better!"

These are exaggerations, of course, but it still grinds my gears.

[–]mustang_mike 12 points13 points  (5 children)

When has "MOAR PLATES" ever actually been the response? TRP beats a dead horse w/ the "Increase SMV" response if anything, and that has very little to do w/ the number of plates you have (except for preselection, and helps with abundance mentality, but otherwise...)

The TRP message is don't worry about women, get your shit in order, and women are a byproduct of that.

"What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?"

"No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to."


"What are you trying to tell me? That I can learn to pick up women?"

"No, Sketti-Os. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to."

[–]1oldredder 5 points6 points  (3 children)

when has "MOAR PLATES" ever actually been the response?

it's the #1 response on asktrp to "I have one-itis" or a message that TL-DR's into that.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]1oldredder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    LOL in general yes, with #3 probably being nofap

    [–]mustang_mike 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Good point. That's definitely the solution to that one problem, but it's hardly "the answer to everything" like OP says.

    [–]xwm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    "What are you trying to tell me? That I can seduce any woman I see?"

    "No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to."

    This is what my mind read this as.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Firstly, thinking that the go to TRP advice is 'get more plates' is way way off the mark. Invariably however, getting more plates involves improving your social skills.

    Getting the plates is an end. You have to work on the means.

    [–]skinnysandvs 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    If you don't mind me asking, what did you major in and what career do you have?

    [–]Sketti-Os[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Computer Science - Database Engineer/Software Developer

    [–]blacwidonsfw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Dude your doing things right. I suspect your putting too much pressure on your self. Don't go out to get laid, go out to make new friends and girls will be drawn to you.

    [–]no_game_player -1 points0 points  (6 children)

    Jesus, and you're complaining? You're in good shape, making six figures, and able to do what you like. How about enjoying life a bit?

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      Tall order. In brief

      Looks; Money; Status; Game. The more of these the better. Brad Pitt or whoever knocks all 4 out of the park. foreveralone types have few if any.

      Looks: lift weights according to a disciplined program, eat right, get enough sleep, dress like the man you want to be, get your facial hair right, get the hair on your head right.

      Money: get enough that you have a car, and your own place. Don't blow it, save and invest, job, education

      Status: friends, being a regular at a fun bar, having an impressive job title, being a leader

      Game: pickup, talking with everyone you meet, confidence, escalation, day game, night game, text game, Tinder/POF/OKC game, LMR/Fclose strategy, outcome independence/depedestalization of pussy

      Some things you might be born with will help or hurt these categories. Recognize what you have and lack there but don't dwell on it.

      Each of those things separated by commas could be a post of its own and probably is on TRP. Many of the things in commas are synergistic - weights help with confidence which helps with status, etc.

      [–]lemoncakesaregross 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Realize that probably the majority of people talking about their "plates" are probably lying as well

      [–]Thizzlebot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I just figure it's like /r/Fitness e stating on half their shit

      [–]xwm 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      If you ever figure it out, be sure to send me a pm with instructions. After being well on my way to self improved (minus the money situation because college for now), while I do see girls mirin my muscle gain on occasion, I don't really get much interaction with women that aren't way too old/overweight (yay community college) in my daily life.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      Hunters hunt. Go and talk to the mirin ones.

      [–]xwm 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      The Mirin ones are all way too fat/old. No thanks on that count. I'd rather have standards than get laid

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Then put yourself in the place and position to talk to whoever the hell meets your standards.

      Can't work 12 hour shifts at a retirement village, then sit at home - and wonder why you don't get much contact! (it's an example)

      [–]OrpheusV 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Michael Jordan didn't become the basketball legend he is through not practicing.

      I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

      Remember, the more you do it, the easier it gets. So just fucking do it. Approach and if it fails, it's nothing personal, just learn and try again. It's seriously a numbers game.

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Something that might help a lot of people is to remember that social proof is very important. Get out as much as you can and involved in as many things as you can. Clubs, groups programs. If you're an introvert going to a club alone and sitting in the corner all night not talking won't help you.

      Just get out and get involved. You don't have to make life time commitments, just get out. Treat this as gym time for your social skills. Don't worry about picking up girls. If you have approach anxiety, don't worry about talking to girls. Just start talking to people. Learn to initiate conversation, carry it and make it fun. Meet lots of new people. Take a genuine interst in what they want and eventually people should start inviting you to more things. You meet more people you can practice on, etc.

      Talking to people and being social should eventually become natural. Having real stuff to do should become natural in time. Being the guy who knows everyone should be natural in time. Being the guy most people like should become natural in time. (It may take a lot of time, that's why you need to start now.)

      Will this solve all your problems? No. Will it solve all your problems with women? No. It's still a hell of a lot better than sitting in at home alone browsing reddit. It will give you lots of opportunity to up your social skills.

      Again, doesn't matter initially, if it lets you get out and meet new people and the alternative is home alone or alone with your best friend in his parent's basement-go out. Go out several times a week.

      [–]throwbp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Treat this as gym time for your social skills.

      You sir have changed my whole perception on social interactions with this one simple sentence. Start small with good form and remember that it's a marathon not a sprint.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It's almost a science because the more experience you get the more you see the same patterns emerging from every interaction.

      For example, One girl may say one thing while another girl says something else but both things are shit tests.

      [–]dreckmal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      TRP makes it seem like "getting plates" is as easy as getting groceries.

      I want you to think about this. Imagine you are the Iceman (great movie, btw...) and you just got thawed out this morning.

      Now, go get groceries.

      See, you think getting groceries is simple, right? How long you been doing that? Imagine, if instead of the years (likely decades) of practice you have in driving, economics and communication, you had years of practice getting women.

      You learn how to spin em, and then you get years of practice in, and it will be like getting groceries.

      [–]2tangman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Reach your genetic limit in lifting. Get interesting hobbies and lifestyle. Approach anxiety will be what girls feel around you.

      [–]brunsy713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think your confusion around plating is based in the debate around the definition of "plating." It seems there are two definitions the strong definition and the weak definition. The strong definition of plating implies higher standards. Where as the weak definition implies merely receiving an abnormal amount of attention from a female; which is not difficult for someone with Red Pill knowledge. To me, Reddit tends to stick to the weak definition of plating. Blogs like Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male address plating using a strong definition. So, yes, for some "plating" may be like going to the grocery store because they use a weaker definition. For others, it may be much more difficult because they have higher standards for what defines a "plate." tl;dr "Plate" and "plating" are very subjective terms.

      [–]iluminatiNYC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I see your confusion, because it sounds simple to say. The problem is that there's a lot of work that goes into it. Screw approach anxiety. Often times getting in shape and your clothes right takes a lot of work. I think the best way to look at it is to compare it with any other skill. You'll get better with practice.

      [–]Dreamtrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      For some reason I thought this was about increasiing how much you lift. It's kind of like that saying "happiness is a decision".

      [–]Lyrad1002 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I think people forget the 80/20 rule. No matter what, 80% of the guys out there are gonna strike out. Even if you assume a lot of the people are not TRP, those are still horrendous odds.

      [–]Subtletorious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think you are being a little too strict with that rule. It becomes increasingly more difficult but it is not a binary division.

      [–]thenarrrowpath 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      Scroll down to plate theory, theres a bunch of articles. This is guy is a great read.

      [–]abcd_z 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You want PUA (Pick Up Artist[ry]).

      The Newbie Method; a dirt-simple guide to cold approaching women.

      A pdf file containing the best PUA posts of all time.

      http://www.pua-zone.com - The best PUA forum I know of.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i dont have the time, working a job plus building my business plus studying plus working out... i am focused on the future

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Subtletorious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'd add one caveat. Aim for women in your own SMV division or lessor. Women fuck up the ladder and men fuck down the ladder.

      [–]FunAndFreedom -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Serious Answer: Spinning Plates isn't hard, and I'll explain how to do it.

      Being able to "spin plates" is a factor of having top 20% SMV, being in the right locations, and most importantly having time for it to work. Some people are very active and pick up girls at bars, I shared an apartment with a guy in Manhattan who could get a different girl every night, he was a master at it and easily top 5%, but other people are passive and let the plates come to them. That's me.

      For whatever reason I'm not someone who enjoys going to a bar nor do I think I could come home with a new girl every time. But getting the girls to come to me was never difficult, it was just a factor of time.

      Here are my numbers/system, this works for me and makes me the most happy, but you might be different

      When I'm not doing a monogamous LTR I can add a quality "plate" once every two months. I could go higher but I'm not trying too hard and I'm maintaining standards. Domestically the plates might come from an online profile, the gym, social events, it varies. When I'm abroad it could be a girl who I meet at an ex-pat gathering or a language site. You'll figure out your system, but the key to spinning plates is to never stop looking (aka Oneitis).

      A good plate for me will stick around for an average of 6 months before interest fades from one party. Because I would always be adding a girl every 2 months, at any given time on average I will have the option of 2-4 girls who I can sleep with. For me, that's enough.

      You'll spend your first few months after doing your "monk mode" trying to get that first plate. If you are in legitimately good shape and can hold frame, this will just be you fine tuning how to talk to the various girls. There is an art to it that is hard to put into words, but like developing most art it just takes practice. It might take a week or maybe a few months to get your first girl, not a big deal how long it takes, if you have done things right you WILL get the first post-monk mode girl.

      So you finally get a girl who in your beta days you would date from day 1. You're in shape now and have the beginning of game so she might be the hottest girl you've taken to bed. But now you are smarter and you know you need to plate her. The big difference between beta you and TRP you is you are going to continue to look for new girls while you are sleeping with plate #1.

      I wish I could tell you how much of a game changer this is, but you need to experience it for yourself, the freedom of knowing you won't have a "dry spell".

      Now you are looking for plate #2. You won't feel pressure though, because you have plate #1. It's now easy to do "cocky/funny", it's easier to maintain frame, because you already have another girl. You might find yourself being more picky than you ever were before. You just build it from there. When you get past girl #2 and are on to girl #3 this system will start to make so much sense.

      You won't care when girl #1 gives you a shit test because you simply reallocate your time to girl #2 or #3 or #4. Again, if you really did your monk mode, if you really are maintaining frame and not just BS'ing on the internet, you are going to get in a position where you really don't need any of the individual girls. You are creating scarcity for them and living the abundance mindset.

      The Don't Do's

      You can't let a girl get too close to you either by physically being in your house or by monopolizing your time.

      Do not stop grabbing new plates. If you get 3-4 and it's just too much, cut off the one you like the least and replace them with a girl who offers a better opportunity.

      Don't be passive. I may not be actively grabbing girls at a bar, but I'm absolutely running game on girls who come to me. When I say come to me, we have a casual chat that they generally initiate and we set a time to do an activity I find fun together. I never do a dinner/movie date for instance.

      Disadvantages to my method

      You sleep with a lower total number of women by not being active in getting plates from bars.

      It takes time. In a world that loves instant results my method, while requiring less effort, does take time. If you dropped me in the middle of a new city I would probably not have a group of plates until 4-6 months passed.

      There's no magic pill, you need to be top 20% at least for any results.

      Advantages to my method

      Very easy to maintain frame when you aren't worried about rejection. The girls come to you. Once you start getting used to spinning plates you will lose most emotional attachment to these girls, yet they may have an emotional attachment to you, which will let you easily get your way.

      This system is lower effort than a search and destroy system, done right you fuck just as often if not more than someone who seeks out ONS'

      I find it fun to do activities and get to know girls for purposes other than sex. Plates can be friends as long as you're willing to soft next them when fucking them becomes less than convenient.

      That's my system. If you have questions let me know.

      [–]uglybra -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      It is easy if you stay in your league and have tight game otherwise you are going to be in a world of trouble.

      [–]1RPSigmaStigma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This implies that game has nothing to do with your league. In fact, game is a huge component in your SMV as a man. Hell, I would even go so far as to say the very mentality of "leagues" is an anti-game mentality. As soon as you think a girl is out of your league is exactly when she becomes out of your league.

      Edit: people downvoting. If you don't think game has anything to do with SMV, you haven't swallowed the red pill.

      [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (8 children)

      It is.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)


        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (6 children)

        I'm not into self-harm

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)


          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

          Why the fuck not? Who died and anointed you Tinder police?

          [–]innocence_bot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Fuck is not a very nice word. Try something else such as 'fornicate' instead! Mmkay?

          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Go fornicate yourself

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)


            [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            The only perspective that matters is my own.

            [–]drqxx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            See girl > Talk to girl > Hand her my phone tell her to put number in it > text her later > Feel her out > Take her out for something cheap/entertaining. > take her home and bang her. (repeat aa necessary)

            [–]ConfidenceMatters -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

            Uh, because it literally is as easy as it sounds - especially with the side bar BRIMMING with resources, tips & tools, strategies and information.

            You'd have to be a special kind of chode to have ALL that information and not rack up a few plates after spending some time reading the /r/theredpill sidebar.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            If what you said was true, no one would be a virgin ever.

            [–]ConfidenceMatters -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

            You're literally created to attract women and get laid.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            if your talking in a biological sense, then 80% of men are not created to attract women, just like any other spieces on the planet

            [–]ConfidenceMatters -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

            Wait so 80% of men literally lack reproductive genitals and important reproductive hormones, and also biological imperatives