As my SMV is increasing, why are betas getting more aggressive? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Kionjabb

By SMV increasing, I am talking about physically and socially. I just finished a big bulk and have been cutting weight for the past few months. Ive lost 20-30 lbs and finally got a 6-pack, chiseled jawline, from dieting/working out consistently. I have also been going out more often, building social circles, etc to work on my communication skills (which were good but want them elite).

I used to think that "betas" would be more submissive as my SMV increased, but it seems that im running into a lot more 'snappy' betas. This happens during random moments throughout the day: school, work, dealing with customers, out and about, etc. For example I went to go pump gas after a workout (I had a mean pump) and this dude in line got really ruffled just by my presence. He had aggressive body language and shot some looks towards me for no reason. I just smirked it off and ignored him, seemed to piss him off even more. I also noticed that when dealing with customers at work that lots of lower SMV men (and women) have become more rude to me, but the alpha male and cuter girls are more receptive.

It seems that ever since my SMV has increased, they act really passive agressive with me, overall just really negative. "Alpha" males seem to respect me more as an equal on the other hand.. I thought it would be the opposite.

Is this normal and does this mean im on the right track?

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

A guy in my social circle admitted to purposefully not inviting me to a party somewhere once because there were chicks there and "no one likes another dick trying to hang around".

Fucking loser mentality. Although he's still in my social circle, I don't consider him a friend and never invite him anywhere anymore. It's funny to hear him bitch about it in our group chat. Also, I never once cockblocked this kid so all this insecurity is all in his head.

Guys who feel threatened like that by other men are pathetic. Don't ever form a tight friendship with losers like that.

[–]newls 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The irony is that if he had valued something real like actual friendship with you he would have a better chance of finding a chick.

[–]Shukakun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"no one likes another dick trying to hang around"

Sounds a lot like "no racer likes other cars on the track". Path of least resistance indeed, what a loser.

[–][deleted] 104 points105 points  (2 children)

I see this here all the time.

Having a bit of red or black next to your name makes you a target for little dogs to bark at, to prove to the other little dogs they aren't afraid.

Big dogs let little dogs bark because barking is all they can do.

Let them bark. Find amusement at the idiocy.

Amused mastery... anything outside your frame is funny at best, everything inside your frame you have mastery of.

All normal.

Tallcrab poppybuckets.

[–]Hudini15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why I come to this sub. Have an upvote.

[–]BlackMisc 18 points19 points  (0 children)

the beta boys see the threat you impose on their sexual narative. As soon as they see females warming up 2 you and not them they get confronted with reality and this hurts to them. Some aggresive beta males will try to undermine every move you make.

Get used to it

[–]PhaedrusHunt 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Your introduction to small man syndrome. You're a crab closer to the top of the bucket.

As fast as low SMV women-- you're out of their league and they feel unattractive.

Beautiful women are generally also more pleasant for this reason-- they're more relaxed.

[–]mcr00sterdota 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Crabs in the bucket mentality.

[–]veritasredd 8 points9 points  (8 children)

This is normal. This also happened to me, beta males tried to drag me down, is passive aggressive towards me and many more beta bullshits(read my post if you want to know). Just ignore them or banish them from your environment if it's possible.

[–]SaladThunder 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Betas use their passive aggressive comments to hide their jealousy. I know I use to do it.

[–]Cloudsurf89 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I did too. That's a hard truth to face so thanks for your honesty and nudging me to be straight with myself.

I've had a couple of close friends in the past (more athletic, good natured, more relaxed or confident around girls) that either deliberately (or not) have left me behind. I made comments, tried to rattle them, undermined them in front of others and passed it off as banter or whatever.

I do regret quite a few of my past behaviours and am trying to rationalise that I need to learn from them but it's hard not to be embarrassed when I think back 😒

[–]dthlist 0 points1 point  (3 children)

What do you think would be the best responce to it?

[–]Cloudsurf89 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Clarification needed: Do you mean their response to my past behaviour or my response now when I look back?

[–]dthlist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the reply. What would you do if this happened to you today?

[–]Cloudsurf89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm much more self aware and so I wouldn't behave like this any more. On the other hand, I'm in a situation where a few guys (in different circles) are being like this towards me now - a couple have tried undermining me in front of others and generally showing passive aggressive behaviours.

I've decided on 3 options: 1. Distance them, keep doing what I'm doing and see if they come around. 2. Have a quiet word and see if they sort their attitudes out. 3. If there's no improvement then drop them.

[–]dthlist 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What do you think would be the best response to it?

[–]SaladThunder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A smirk

[–]karkyflarky 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Normal behaviour. Watch a wild life documentary and watch the alpha of the heard have to fight the feeling lucky punk beta. As a human in a society with laws you will be challenged verbally and in body language instead of physically fighting.

[–]valerioluc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same its true for me, i can live with it. Women idk, they are all more interested, others just dont even try because they know im out of their league.

[–]Martysteiner 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As you named it:Betas!

Your SMV is higher than their emotional influence, as they compare.

Pretty much all of us lived & experienced this. You should be going your own way. This will drive them more and more crazy.

And you know what, it's like a comparison between muscle and fat. Both makes you look bigger, but we all know which one people prefer rather than other one.

[–]Arhamzubair 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The real story here is you increased your SMV to make betas take notice. Ignore them...


Take up a martial art to make yourself been safer (if that's a concern)

[–]Kennigmatic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kill them with kindness bro.

I despise males like that. Literally feel a fiery rage for that kinda behavior from other dudes, but I keep frame and brush it off.

Stay in your own lane, keep improving. It’s probably gonna get worse before it gets better.

[–]Zech4riah 4 points5 points  (2 children)

You can be high SMV guy with traits which intimidate guys (physical apperance, frame, dominant ja self-confident gaze) or you can be high SMV with traits which don't intimidate guys.

You may have attractive 6-pack and chlised jawline, but if you haven't packed enough muscle, you look a bit weak. Among guys, bulked up/jacked dudes really get the respect from other men and no betas challenge them.

It isn't necessarily your increased SMV - it's just that you lost your size when you cut down 30 lbs and you look physically weaker (even tho more attractive to the girls).

And generally I have no same experience than you do so maybe there is something sketchy in your frame and you aren't authentic.


but the alpha male and cuter girls are more receptive.

Actually this part contradicts my previous comment. If that is how alphas and cuter girls treat you, then you frame should be ok. Maybe It's all about the intimidation factor which you are missing.

[–]TheLoneProspector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree... you should get respect because you bring more to the table. I'd say I bring value to most all interactions with my friends, especially those I may consider "beta". Adding value is probably the difference. Maybe OP is a dick / selfish.

[–]UncleWarwick 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Eh, you might be doing it wrong then. You also might be happening upon all the insecure people at once.

As my SMV has been increasing, EVERYONE has been more receptive towards me.

[–]mrpoopistan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mistake is seeing alpha-beta as a dominant-submissive divide. It's not. In fact, some of the nastiest rage in the world is beta rage.

Human beings tear each other down. The distinction is that the highest status people don't have to play that game. Mind you, many do. But there's a difference between wanting to playing it having to play it.

[–]JStambler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why worry about it? That is their anguish, not yours.

[–]Thunderfin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you're beta.

[–]i_Hate_us 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I think you might just be a dick, increasing your smv isn’t just about your shape or looks, also how you make people feel towards you.

[–]SoulRedemption 4 points5 points  (1 child)

From all the comments I think this is a big possibility. You may want to check what your behaviour is like around the so called 'betas'. I've learnt the attitude changes and ego kicks in a bit when yiu improve.

[–]i_Hate_us 2 points3 points  (0 children)

exactly, i rarely comment here but people chalking it up to jealousy are delusional, it's no coincidence that most popular guys are fit plus have good looks.

[–]Kionjabb[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Fair point.. I should have mentioned that OVERALL.. I am treated way better by everyone. Its just that the noisy minority has gotten louder.

My point is that sometimes changing your shape or looks - no matter how respectful you treat some people, they will just not like you because of some insecurity reason. In other words, I treat everyone with respect, and have noticed this pattern. But overall I am more respected quantity and quality wise.

[–]LateralThinker13 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The beauty dividend suggests that more attractive people are better received and more successful in life.

Now that you're not a schlub, you'll have better overall treatment. But conversely, a portion of the populace will now see you as a credible threat and act against you.

[–]Kionjabb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great way of putting it

[–]melonsle -1 points0 points  (3 children)

holy shit if you think you can look at other dudes and divide them into alpha and beta you are so fucked in the head its no surprise if others dudes feel your weird-ass judgmental and negative vibes.

[–]Pluglord 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It’s not that hard to. If I see a fidgety, soybody manlet (like you probably are) I assume beta. Most guys do lmao.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]Pluglord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You’re confusing beta as an automatic insult. Being beta isn’t a bad thing. Society needs our betas. Everyone can’t be alpha. Otherwise it would be chaos. That being said:

    I don’t divide into alpha and beta either. I’m neither alpha nor beta. (Damn sure ain’t beta tho). I fall somewhere in between, And we shouldn’t be able to divide within only 2 sections. There’s just too many personality types to chronologically do so. Don’t get it twisted.

    A lot of guys are beta. Whether you or they like it or not.