63
64

Plate tried to hamster herself after I saw her with another guy (self.asktrp)

submitted by IrrelevantRaptor

This Saturday, I saw one of my plates at the bar. She saw me and I said hey. She pulled me aside to talk to me about how her friends set her up with a blind date and she has to go with him now. I put my hands around her and told her I don't really care. She grabbed my hands and told me that she doesn't want any drama and kept rephrasing how her friends set up with a blind date and they're about to be here. I responded with a "cool" every single time. Then I told her to text me whenever she wants to finish that movie (we were watching a movie at her place, but things went in a different direction).

Were the actions that I took and what I said were good?


[–]abdada 173 points174 points  (12 children)

This has happened to me so many times that it's just the nature of the beast.

I've always found that brutal honesty works the best, because it's the truth and it acclimates the plate to your DGAF lifestyle. But the brutal honesty is only relevant if you hold "plate frame" and not "blue pill jealousy frame". If you're jealous, she's not just a plate.

The basic foundation here is what defines the relationship: you guys are having fun away from reality, but when reality creeps in, it puts a pause on your escapism relationship.

Things I've said to plates in this situation boils down to my reality of the relationship being about escapism: "Hey, why are you sweating it? You come to me when you want to escape from reality, not when you want a cold splash of water. I'm the sunshine when you need it, you can close the drapes when you need reality. Some day you'll meet a guy and he's going to be The One and that's great, it'll make me happy. Until then, you come to me to relax and chill and not get stressed out. You won't meet that guy if you aren't dating, I'm not getting in your way. If this guy works out, invite me to the wedding. If it doesn't, pull the shades open and come get some sun."

Of course I don't say those exact words, or spit it out in some emotional vomit, but that's the brilliance of being with me. She doesn't stress about her job or rent or what her girlfriends think or what her judgmental conservative parents will say. I'm her dirty little secret, the guy who holds her down in ways that make her feel safe and uncertain.

You're not her boyfriend. You're not her fiance. You're not her husband. If and when the new guy fails her, you are always the firm foundation of masculine truth, but you're not going to be The One.

Nothing wrong with being honest.

I've had plates come back to me over and over and over, sometimes for 15 years, while every new guy loses their spark. This summer I am going to the wedding of a plate who I met in 1996 and continued to see for almost 20 fscking years because she'd always text me in spring after a cold boring winter with limp dick suitor #132. I am excited for her because this guy is truly awesome and she's 38 now and finally ready to settle down and be a housewife. The guy has no idea I was banging her during the first few months of their relationship, lol.

I'm the sunshine.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 34 points35 points  (3 children)

Post worthy imo. Well said.

[–]abdada 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Should be said that some plates will break temporarily when you disclose that you're the sunshine and not a cold depressing dose of reality -- but many of them will return after they experience that boring Joe they bounced to.

I can't tell you how many plates re-engage months or years later when they miss that warm glow of a guy who doesn't give a fuck and doesn't get depressed or emotional over anything. It's sometimes relentless. I hate April because I am guaranteed to get a bunch of "heyyyy" texts out of nowhere.

It's too bad about The Wall because honestly my dick would fall off from friction if it didn't exist, lol.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

It's too bad about The Wall because honestly my dick would fall off from friction if it didn't exist, lol.

Haha, there's good and bad to everything huh?

[–]FriendlyAdvisor-v2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stark agreement. That 1 comment encompasses more of TRP in a few sentences than most people read around here in a couple months.

[–]throwitdownman 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This reminds me of the time Trump mentioned how he went to his ex-wife’s wedding, and endorsed her to her new husband.

No political undertone, just meant it as a funny parallel.

[–]abdada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never heard it but I support it.

Always always always leave a plate better than you found her. She will return again.

[–]Foutaises- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn. Great post

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

finally ready to settle down and be a housewife

lol @ the ideal

[–]IrrelevantRaptor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m wet, thanks man 🍑

[–]jb_trp 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The guy has no idea I was banging her during the first few months of their relationship

They're always going to hamster a reason why it's still okay to bang you. "We haven't had the conversation about being exclusive yet." Etc.

[–]abdada 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They're always going to hamster a reason why it's still okay to bang you. "We haven't had the conversation about being exclusive yet." Etc.

This is why I love the hamster, why I love hypergamy.

[–]htbf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just as applicable to men dude. It's literrally in the sude bar to spin plates and not go exclusive and how to handle the talk to stay non exclusive. No hamster there.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Were the actions that I took and what I said were good?

You handled it masterfully.

Part of the hamstering she did was for her btw. Sure, she doesn't want a scene (lulz, right...except girls love DRAMA) but she has to hamster that you are at least a bit jealous otherwise she would have to consciously realize that she is "low value" to you, i.e., just a cum dumpster. Girls can't handle that, so....she has to act like she's placating you.

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST 4 points5 points  (2 children)

"she doesn't want a scene"

Yep, definitely bullshit. She wanted OP to start a fight with the blind date, or perhaps use this event as an excuse to bring up "the talk".

One of the main reasons social proof is important when it comes to our own SMV is because social proof is a language women understand, they judge their own value based on it. It's why they keep beta orbiters around. They even do it with each other, if you watch a group of women they are constantly asking each other's opinions of themselves (and often flat out lying to each other about it).

A woman's own self-image is created completely by those around her. If everyone hates her, she will become depressed. If everyone loves her, she will be confident and happy. This is why being aloof and having confidence is so effective -- it essentially demonstrates to a woman that you have that social proof... somewhere.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Bullshit.

So I'm guessing you completely missed the parenthetical.....

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Didn't miss it, just meant to elaborate, and point out the fact in case anyone missed it that you were being sarcastic there.

[–]chomponthebit 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yes. If you haven’t discussed exclusivity, you’re not exclusive. GJ

[–]whatsmyname17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is your response if they do ask you about exclusivity? Or the “what are we” conversation. Would you say or do anything other than responding with a “I havnt thought about that too much, I enjoy your company and havnt thought any farther than That”?

[–]McVaghunter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Were the actions that I took and what I said were good?

Yes.

[–]Jampak_5000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's fine. When you spin plates, sometimes they fall and break. Other times, they fall, but don't breal, and you pick them up and spin them again. Remember that, sometimes your go is over.

What you did was fine. If you're genuinely not bothered she'll get that and may choose a provider over you at some point down the line anyway. If I were in your shoes, I would try to take advantage of the situation, and re-affirm yourself as the alpha-fux. Guilt sex is a great drug to offer a woman. Don't be too nice to her about this whole situation, you goal should be to have her creaming herself whilst your guilt fucking her to oblivion getting her to say ungodly things to you about the ownership of her pussy.

[–]wheresMYsteakAt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you aren't leaving anything out you pretty much nailed it. I want to add that you can quickly change that by calling her wondering were she's been these few days. Maybe she is testing you most likely getting dicked down but either way don't even ask yourself the question.

This is similar to Buddha refusing to answer certain questions. He viewed or at least conceptualized to the person asking that they are like a spider web drawing you in the more you struggle.

You will be fucking this one again it just may not be tomorrow or this weekend.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did very well 👏🏾

[–]Peter_B_Long 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really depends on what you make of it and how you feel about her. If you genuinely DGAF, then I wouldn't sweat it. In my head I'd just think, "she's not mine, it's just my turn." and maybe my turn is over now. Oh well. And if she hits me up that night to meet up, then "oh, I guess it's still my turn".

If you're honestly hurt by it, then that should tell you that she should never be more than a plate and I would soft next for a while until you internalize the situation and see if you can continue to plate her but without emotions.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's a plate, not an LTR. Just assume plates are fucking other guys, then you won't be surprised.

[–]Retstortion -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Yes but I’d hard next. She’s about to suck his cock and she also lied to your face.

[–]wheresMYsteakAt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's a plate.