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I was falsely accused of rape and it's really fucking with my game (self.asktrp)

submitted by YDdraig

The summer before last I went on a "below my usual standards" tinder date because I was horny as hell and in a new city. I took her home, displayed normal dominant behavior, and had her blow me. She didn't want to fuck and I respected that because TBH she was a 5 at best and I didn't want to stick my dick in that. Afterwords it became clear to her that I didn't want to see her again and I blocked her on Facebook when she kept messaging me. About 4 months later I got a call from a detective saying she had accused me of sexual assault. That didn't go anywhere since she didn't have any evidence and I didn't say anything but she also attempted to get a restraining order against me despite the fact that I was the one who blocked her ass. $5000 in attorney fees later and this is also dismissed (most expensive shitty bj of my life). 

But this post isn't about that incident. Now more than a year later, my game is still suffering as a result. I had a second date last week with a girl who was giving me serious kinky vibes but I was scared to go full aggressive dominant with her. As her Uber was arriving I asked if she liked to be slapped to which her answer was an enthusiastic affirmative. I know I could have fucked her on our first date even if I had gone with my instincts but this false accusation fucks with me. I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for but hopefully this resonates with someone and I can get some useful information moving forward.


[–][deleted]  (15 children)

[deleted]

[–]YDdraig[S] 21 points22 points  (10 children)

During the hearing she claimed that my aggressive behavior made her too scared to actually say no which is what's been fucking with me but your comment makes sense. I could have gotten away with being dominant if I had been more caring after. The problem was that I was so disgusted with myself for getting with her that I didn't think of the consequences of blocking her.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]YDdraig[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Your advice was really helpful getting me out of that headspace. Three new first dates this week and my hesitation was gone. All 3 are very enthusiastic about getting together again and all hinted at second date bangs.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    deleted What is this?

    [–]ayylma088 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    She was lying/hamstering 100% in order to have a reason dude ...

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You're right but it is total bullshit that she can do this to punish him.

    We should all have the right to cut a bitch our if our life without consequences.

    [–]circlhat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    It's got nothing to do with the type of sex, and with the fact that your aftercare sucks and your game mis-communicates to your one night stands that you are interested in a relationship

    Blaming the victim, this is a huge issue men face and there is nothing you can do about it, OP is 100% innocent, and is suffering PSTD , once he learns the system hates him, and the world is out to get him he will start focusing on men's rights

    [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Great input.

    [–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Precisely this. What she said afterwards at the hearing is all BS hamster spinning. You made her feel used and disgusting; of course she will lash out in whichever way she can.

    Learn better aftercare. And stop fucking with girls who you find to be physically repulsive

    [–]319Skew 23 points24 points  (10 children)

    Part of me wonders if there we did a male equivalent of #Metoo, if it'd catch. Just guys that had sex with a woman and later regretted it and felt like they had wasted their time, money, and efforts.

    Last month I went out with a woman that just wanted to cuddle instead of sex. #WoT(Waste of Time)

    [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

    . #mentoo

    [–]319Skew 20 points21 points  (3 children)

    Nice.

    Can include things like:

    • Women using guys for items/food

    • Women branch swinging

    • Shit Tests

    • False rape accusations

    • Banging a 6 or lower while intoxicated

    [–]Casanova-Quinn 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    Don’t forget unattractive drunk women at clubs/bars who grope you, and then accuse you of being gay when you reject them.

    [–]319Skew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Alcohol helps you forget

    [–]FauxBostonianBrahmin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Clever!

    [–]2chazthundergut 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Nope. It would be accepting and entering the feminist frame.

    Just ignore altogether and carry on gaming chicks.

    [–]salezman12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Im pretty confident that his comment was satire.

    [–]yumyumgivemesome 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Women actually have a #wastehistime2018 hashtag, which they've done for the past several years.

    [–]Mohune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    #wastehistime2018

    The shit test of the year!

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 19 points20 points  (9 children)

    Shoulda done a “slow fade” on the she-beast and it woulda been ok.

    With the new, kinky girl, establish that she is naughty to be knotty, or whatever and tell it would be super hawt for her to write out some of her kinked up fantasies for you in an email. So if, perchance, a couple of months from now she might have a passing thought that ”Y’know, that felt a bit ‘rapey’” you will have her on record as wanting to be spanked and forced to eat out of a dog bowl or whatever her kink is.

    [–][deleted]  (8 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

      Can you guys expand on the slow fade, I'm currently in this situation as well

      [–]salezman12 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      It's EXACTLY what it sounds like. Ghosting, but very slowly.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 7 points8 points  (4 children)

      deleted What is this?

      [–]FranckShmibery 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I’ve been in a situation like this. She wouldn’t stop messaging me, so I replied with things like “you were great last night 😁😁” and “no problem 😁😁”. Ran beta game to escape the possibility. Took one day for her to get over me.

      [–]OracleofFl 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      "My ex-girlfriend called me last night and we spoke for hours...she wants to give it another shot with me...I am so confused. Our parents are friends and everything. I don't know what to do...."

      Then two days later you call and tell her you are going to get back with her.

      [–]rp_newdawn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I’ve pulled this before. It actually works.

      [–]mylittlepill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I've pulled this too, can confirm it works surprisingly well.

      [–]circlhat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      You are suffering PSTD, this is why so many men are beta, not because they are weak or lazy but because going against women is life and death. If you don't buy a women dinner she can get angry and send you to jail for life, your only saving grace is 99% of women are decent human who won't file false rape claims.

      Either move on by sleeping around or counter sue her for deformation and make her pay your attorneys fees.

      And for the love of god never block crazy, you need her to look crazy

      [–]RedSkeller 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You did nothing wrong but that's the wrath of an entitled little 5 on tinder. So you paid up some serious coin, now move on. Just take precautions so this doesn't happen again. Politely brush people off or tell them you're seeing someone new. Save text messages with pictures and back it up to the cloud. Protect your information, get spy cameras in your bedroom and living room. The more secure you feel about the more confident you can get back in the swing of things.

      [–]jd0589 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      You could set up a video recorder in your rooms just in case

      [–]YDdraig[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      I actually did. You should have seen her face when my attorney brought it up during the hearing.

      [–]1walawalawa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I've never been in a situation that bad. But you managed it and pulled through.

      I think when you have a situation like that you clearly get gun-shy.

      Get better at weeding girls out.

      I had a situation where a plate I was banging went nuts, started stalking me, acting crazy, trying to fuck my friends.

      I freaked me out. My game suffered. But I just got better at weeding out nutcases and better at after-game.

      Don't ghost right away, just fade away. Be busy, be remote, be gone.

      [–]moontripper1246 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Well, I gotta say man that sucks. That really does. if it happened to me, I'de have residual fear too. And only after a year. I'd hope that in time it'd get better but You never really know.

      Look incredibly close at your FRA experience. Ultimately it happened because of Buyer's Remorse, you left her with bad feelings about the entire experience. It's your responsibility to leave the women you fuck feeling good about what they've done with you, look into diffusing and handling Buyer's remorse.

      [–]Misplacedstock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Similar story, got with a girl below my usual standards from tinder. We go out, have dinner, get back in my car, and within 10 minutes she’s sucking my cock vigorously in a hibachi restaurant parking lot. So I cum in her mouth and start heading home. We talk a bit on the way home, she talks about wanting to be my gf, I laugh it off. She starts texting me a shit ton the next few days, I really don’t care to see her so I mostly ignore them. She randomly asks my last name, I give her some random shit like diamond or something. Next day bitch is texting me about how she filed a rape charge against me, literally putting “haha you’re going to jail”. Eventually just blocked her. Never got a call from the cops. So boys, important tidbit, from the start of using any online “dating”, I give a fake first name and if they ask, a fake last name. I also use an app in which you create a random number using your area code. In dark days like these, you must make it very hard for charges to be brought against you by these dumb cunts. In hindsight, she could have picked up my license plate. No girl expects you not to give your real name though.

      TLDR; Don’t give your real name or number out. Make it as hard as possible for them to press any charges against you.

      [–]michaelkc03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Shit like this makes me understand MGTOW...average guy gets rejected, just another day. Average girl gets rejected, “SEXUAL ASSAULT.”

      [–]batfish55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And that right there is why I spend more time over at MGTOW.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The lesson here: escorts are cheaper than legal fees.

      [–]adamantiumvibranium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This sucks but always cya which means cover your ass record everything and don't be too quick to delete text messages

      [–]highdingo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Why did you even bother fighting a restraining order? It's not like you planned on seeing her again.

      [–]wsba910am -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      These are the consequences of sexual intercourse with strangers. You never know what you’re gonna get, but generally someone DTF right away is messed up to begin with. I speak for a minority’s, but once you realize what a woman can do to you, you either get afraid and refuse to change your behavior, or you change your behavior and grow some standards and stop fearing what a woman can do. When you do right, when you treat people the way you’d want to be treated, when you have good intent, bad things will still happen but you will not fear them.

      We can blame women all we want but the truth is it’s us too. We didn’t put any restraining orders or that on us or accuse ourselves, but we out ourselves in a vulnerable position with free will and no good reason.

      Jesus Christ all the way

      [–]whysobad2 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      Okay, 2 things:

      1. [EDIT: Do not do exactly what is written here in point #1, this is just a placeholder for the future.] First of all, the "white knight" in this thread is correct some women could be afraid of saying no to a stranger. Within 2 years this subreddit will have an exact procedure for polarizing this without losing frame. I don't know the exact procedure (it's not 2 years from now) but it could be something like this: "Okay, so some women are scared of big strong men and they're lesbians but can't say it or whatever, so now we will practice how you say no if you don't want me to do whatever, okay?" (she'll say okay) and then you I don't know grab her somewhere sensitive and just apply firmer and firmer pressure until she says no, then tell her, Good girl, this is how you say no/stop, okay? Then she says okay. (she sees you are able to stop if she really asks you to stop, and on her side she's proven the ability to do so.) Then you go wild. Now granted I haven't field tested this yet I don't really know, this subreddit will come up with the procedure within the next two years. I don't have a procedure for you today, sorry. Let's work on it, everyone. (The goal here is to polarize genuine no's or at least prove they are able to do it and not literally currently experiencing a rape by you without saying no.)

      2. The slow fade: so, solid beta game works. I again have not completely field tested this but my last two flatmates were girls and they were a bit too into me I didn't like it (don't shit where you eat.) With the one before my current one I said, let's be like brother and sister, she agreed, and I thought that was enough but unfortunately this kind of disqualification didn't help. After she eventually moved out (still sending me love emojis and so forth, declaring herself in love while tagging me on facebook so bad that other people were like, she is so deep in the friend zone), now I have a new girl as a flatmate so I didn't want the same thing to repeat. So first I said let's agree to be brother or sister. Next, I told her that I had said that to my last flatmate but still got too many love vibes so I'll just do this once. She was like what, what am I talking about. I hemmed and hawed and then with the most beta possible frame (I mean completely wishy-washy, I had closed body language and didn't even look into her eyes) I said, Okay so I'm completely madly in love with you I can't stop thinking about you all the time, you're the only one I can ever imagine being with -- stupid, obviously over the top stuff (I could barely remember anything about her, even her name, I haven't even added her on facebook), and so on. She could tell (from how I presented it) that I was just doing this so she would stop being interested in me but it ABSOLUTELY worked, as I was saying my little speech you could see what started as an interested smirk completely drained from her face as she heard that you could almost hear her legs shut together -- EVEN THOUGH I had told her that this profession of love is just for the purposes of being brother and sister so she understood what was going on. This completely worked she instantly completely lost interest in me.

      So I think that instead of doing a slow fade you can try going absolutely over the top and say ridiculous stuff like: "I have waited my entire life for someone like you you are the only one I can ever imagine spending any amount of time with, I think about you night and day" and just the most beta shit you can think of. Even if it's obviously not true.

      In my case this happened Thursday and she was like, "well you should have told me this yesterday", I was like, why? "You know, valentine's day" and I'm like oh, I had a date. So even though it is completely obvious that I was just saying falsehoods still it had the desired effect.

      So rather than the slow fade or blocking someone, you need to play the beta game where you just over the top profess undying love.

      They will NEVER ever ever return it don't worry. That stuff makes them never want to see you again, are at least stop thinking of you that way.


      Thoughts on both points above very welcome.

      [–]FranckShmibery 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I see the intent of this “procedure”, but I don’t think it would ever work. Sex is a thing that “happens,” not some mapped-out routine. Rape accusations always happen in the stage of the post-smash hamster, so no matter what she says in the moment she could change her mind later.

      On the second point, I agree. Beta game works tremendously well to get hambeasts off your back without worry.

      [–]whysobad2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Thanks - I added the bold edit to the first point to make it really obvious that my suggestion is NOT the exact correct way to establish that a girl is able to say no. This is something that needs to be developed by red pillers.

      The problem is that literally she might not have no/stop in her vocabulary, or in that situation be literally (in her mind) in the process of being raped and afraid (in her mind) of physical violence if she resists. So the point, which this subreddit will figure out in the future, is just to filter out those 2% or 0.2% of the cases or whatever.

      Of course women have a responsibility to say no/stop if they're literally in someone's bedroom after literally a tinder date, and the guy is doing something they don't like, and 99% of them can do it. But we don't want to be raping (in their mind) the 1% who feel they can't say no or whatever. I realize that I don't have an exact procedure here, the subreddit will step up and come up with the correct techniques that do not involve losing frame.

      That's why I said it will take a couple of years.