Can men lose their ability to pair bond too? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Mangasbzo7

I have very high n count, and imagine there are some dudes here with the same - I mean thats basically why we're all here, right.

I have been thinking a lot lately abt how it may have affected me psychologically. While I enjoy sex very much, I feel like the lasting emotional satisfaction that comes from it has completely gone. Like even if I have mindblowing intimate sex the emotional satisfaction I get from it literally dissipates in like 48 hours, and I then I feel like I need to fuck again soon.

Like emotionally, fucking has the same significance to me now as getting lunch. Thats not how it should be, right?

[–][deleted]  (10 children)


[–]Nergaal 28 points29 points  (1 child)

The fact that "oneitis" is very likely with low n-count, it is a direct evidence of higher pair-bonding ability with low count.

[–]Xoramung 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I saw a social study that said more than 1 for females is the same as 19 for men. Although they can hold out much longer, it will eventually affect them.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]Xoramung 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    you're making me dig deep. here is a photo of some of the stats and i will try to find the article, honestly it was maybe 9-12months ago. but yeah, high N counts past 1 for a women a super detrimental.

    edit: here is a study (might be the actual one i read, cnr) https://s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/2003/pdf/Bookofcharts.pdf

    [–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    I'd have to disagree with this. The first few girls I fucked I was never attached to. I feel the same way now about new sexual prospects as I did then. Just my anecdotal experience

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeah one time for sure, I built SMV up and she's my plate now.

      [–]AmazonExplorer 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      Once you adopt TRP, don't you already lose the ability to pair bond? At least to the extent bluepillers do. You cannot let your guard down around your woman, never show emotional weakness, etc.

      [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      The impetus for men is to spread the seed. We don't become emotionally broken from doing so.

      It's call the "Thousand Cock Stare" not the "Thousand Twat Stare" for a reason.

      [–]Zanford 14 points15 points  (2 children)

      Yes. BUT, I suspect that men lose it when they get burned/jaded a lot or otherwise build up bad experiences, NOT from sexual N-count itself the way women do.

      If anything, a satisfying sexual history might help a man pair bond, a la the conventional wisdom about having to 'sow his wild oats'.

      Also men are 100% capable of very strongly pair bounding and still getting tail on the side (whether with or without the knowledge or approval of the primary partner.)

      [–]omega_dawg93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      women work on relationship issues when they happen while men tend to be oblivious to issues until they're too late. we just want to fix things and make the emotion go away.

      when men want to talk about it, it is usually too late... bc she's already talked it thru with her family and friends. she has checked out and sets her frame in that respect.

      we are left trying to figure things out... full of beer and stinking of pussy.

      an abundance of sex fucks up women's ability to pair bond bc she goes thru too many emotional roller coasters... men are more easily disposable.

      an abundance of sex doesn't mess with a man's ability to pair bond. wasting our time, energy, & resources (over and over) drives our decisions to try again and again. and yet again.

      [–]Olongapo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Agree......especially your first point.

      [–]Rares5555 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      The moment you posed the question, I came up with a theory based on what I’ve learned:

      CASE #1

      Let’s say a man and a woman go through 25 mates over the course of 5 years. That’s a fair 5 mates a year.

      Result: The woman will not be able to pair bond with her 26th mate because she has been through many cocks. She’s not wired that way. However the man will be able to keep his pair bonding powers for way longer with his 26th because he’s been through generous amounts of pussy and has “spread his seed” around.

      CASE #2

      A man and a women have stayed with the same exclusively for 25 years (in the perfect instances - textbook RP man and RP woman 24/7)

      Result: Given the fact that her man was the highest fucking achieving motherfucker around, this woman will actually connect with her man better over the course of the years. However, on the man’s side, no matter how loyal, submissive, and good of a whore in the bedroom the woman is, the man will lose his pair bonding ability more, because his genetic instinct and desire has not been met.

      Nature’s call, as we say.

      [–]allo_pyaaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Interesting. So basically keep spreading the seed and when you finally end up in a LTR(say marriage) then extramarital affair. Is that's it?

      [–]OfficerWade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Getting your emotional needs met during sex doesn’t work.

      [–]Jampak_5000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Absolutely yes, I’ve fucked 84 different birds give or take. For sure this has affected my pair-bonding. Women are more disposable to me because I know from experience I can just get a new one. The concept of “next” is alive and well in my mind. The idea of trying to “work on” a relationship is diminished as I’ll immediately think; it’s already dead may as well next and just get a fresh girl.

      Also, my screening has got out of control, I’m 33 and I wouldn’t even consider any girl over 26. Imagine that, it could be someone I’d get along well with and she may have an n count of 2, and be 28 but I’m so deep in the game she wouldn’t get past the gate.

      Sex is a really strange concept when you think about what an orgasm is and who you allow to achieve one via your body, and vice Versa. To think I couldn’t even recognise 1/2 the girls I’ve fucked is so weird.

      So in answer to your q. Yes, male pair bonding is decreased in my experience from continuously fucking different women.

      Having said that, I still think the positives outweigh the negatives (in my personal experience).

      [–]InscrutablePUA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If anything men try to pair bond too easily these days. I would say men have a higher tolerance for it and will benefit from fucking around first before committing.

      [–]moresmarterthanyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your feelings are right now. its not a pretty cycle and its hard to pull out of it. I havent been able to.

      [–]awoke11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think pair-bonding is more of a logical decision in the long run. Like focusing on one girl because you want her to be the mother of your children. If I don’t have any reason to stay with one girl except FEELZ then I wouldn’t even considering an LTR in the first place..

      [–]GoldenCocaine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Definitely affects men. Just not as badly or quickly perhaps.

      [–]abudun79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Where's the connection between your title and text? You say not a single word about pair bonding is your text.

      The answer to the question in your title is: Yes.

      The answer to the question at the end of your text is: That's perfectly within what is to be expected at some point.

      [–]batfish55 0 points1 point  (2 children)


      The Science: From what I've read, women dump oxytocin (The Bonding Hormone) when they orgasm. They also dump a shit ton of it when they have kids. They bond with their kids HARD because they dump more oxytocin. It's also why, if you get her cherry, she'll be fucking calling you until one of you dies. Her brain can't keep that many tight bonds when her n-count gets bigger. Men dump seratonin when we orgasm. The AHHHHHHH hormone. It's why you can still appreciate a good shit after you've had decades of them.

      Men's definition of 'bonding' isn't the same. It's a semantic argument. The word 'love' means soooo many different things. "I love that woman." "I love my dog." "I love my job." "I love that burger joint." Re-read those. Same word, soooo many different connotations. Male bonding and female bonding are different things too.

      Personal Experience: ....Last year I fell for a chick who...would have been a reeeeeally bad choice. I lost count of my n-count. But this chick was a reeeally poor choice. Uneducated, lazy, party girl, doesn't want to work out (she was 22, didn't need to work out yet), can't cook.....but wouldn't get out of my head. Sometimes I still think about her. Got oneitis for her pretty bad. But experience let my north head scream out, "Dude, what the fuck are you thinking?" Had to ghost her. She would have been a really bad decision. Ghosted her. Had to.

      [–]BuckNekkid18 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Dude, last year when I was still BP, I had oneitis for a girl who was just like that. We were FWBs and I dropped my other options for her. I still have some feelings for her because we were almost in an LTR and we spent a lot of time together but when I started to analyze what she brought to the table I realized it was mostly cons and red flags than positives. She was one of those semi butterface HB7.5 with a great ass and a high enough sex drive to match mine but she had 0 hobbies, 0 interests in anything that wasn't watching TV or drinking beer on weekends, had a decently high n count, had entitlement issues, and didn't cook at all (literally only ate McD's, Taco Bell, and Wendy's). Thank god I went full beta on her and pushed her out with my neediness because I'd probably be worse by now.

      Lmao sorry for the wall of text

      [–]batfish55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wall of text? Shit, man, have you seen some of the fucking books people post? tl;dr doesn't even begin to cover it.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That's exactly how it should be.

      If you decided to get into a long term commitment with a girl and there was emotional shit invested would you go tounch with her? Would you be doing it wrong if ot was a great lunch with someone you cared about? Would it ne a fail if despite being a great lunch and cool part of your life it the lunch with your girlfriend didnt blow the lid off your life, redefine love for you, and make you generally act like a fucking moron?

      This is some blue pill fantasy residue. The fucking point of a pair bond is to share shit that is common to your experience with someone that makes you happy doing it, not to be emotional heroin.

      Basically you're asking if pussy isnt a big deal what WOULD make a woman a big deal? To which I say thats the point. Answer that for yourself. Maybe you find that, maybe you dont. Maybe the answer is nothing would for you.

      [–]hamsterenema 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I believe that we do see it diminish with age and multiple relationships.

      For most of us (myself included) it's a good thing.

      The beta programming is real. Experience, plates and abundance will reduce your tolerance for bullshit by allowing you to stay less emotionally invested.

      Embrace it.

      [–]ppanthero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Of course. You are much more likely to get oneitis (aka extreme version of pair bonding) if she is your first rathter than your x-th.

      The implications, the degree of this effect and results may be different though.

      [–]satlinrabbow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Can men lose their ability to pair bond too?

      What does it matter?

      What does this have to do with sexual strategy? Are you planning on getting married? If so, why even come to the sub?

      Do you think Genghis Khan gave a shit about "Pair Bonding"?

      He was too busy out conquering shit (women included)

      What are YOU working on conquering?

      [–]Borsao66 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)


      [–]mrHappyPotatoe -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Pair bond isnt natural state of our spiecis.