How do I last longer?? (self.asktrp)

submitted by basedmolaj

So I can literally bust in 20 seconds, I’m surprised my girl is even still with me. Every woman I have had sex with has said I can’t last. I used to last longer with the first few women I had intercourse with but now it just happens in about 20 seconds, not every time though. The the bad thing about this is that I’m 18.

I tried so many “solutions”. Thinking about men lol, going slowly but women love it fast, jacking an hour before isn’t enjoyable. Idk this junk is terrible, and this is getting worse, any more suggestions??

[–]xddm2653 99 points100 points  (3 children)

Thinking about men lol

Could be the reason?

[–]basedmolaj[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Lol hell no

[–]breakfastburrito24 12 points13 points  (0 children)


[–]Khiv_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)


[–]FemtoG 41 points42 points  (5 children)

all these people saying "just go again" or "eat her out" or "take lots of breaks" are idiots. you can't hide from the truth, and it IS an issue. every single thing i pointed out the girl WILL notice unless shes a total fucking retard. and yes you can work around it, but that is absolutely not ideal, and the truth will still linger.

have you tried differnt positions?

which positions do you bust faster than others?

like for me, i can last almost forever if shes riding me or missionary

but if im doing her from the back, i bust quick

also its all about vasodilation vs. vasoconstriction

you need to become conscious of when you are tensing ur muscles and when you are not. its actually a very deep thing. once you can "let go" of ur muscles while still maintaining your erection

then you can last longer

think and research on that concept. first, vasodilation. second, letting go of the muscle tensing while fucking. that is the real secret. if you are tensing your muscles while fucking ,they lose stamina quick and you bust quick. you need to keep a "flow" going. also dont worry about those PC muscle exercises. thats more for ppl who cant bust

finally, learn about pelvic floor and hip rotation/alignment. its not about having strong pelvic floor muscles, but having a balanced pelvic floor. balanced and healthy. something to look into. dont focus on kegels. focus on things like handstands, balance, and hamstring/glute exercises. also don't do kegels, do reverse kegels.

[–]rutluv 14 points15 points  (1 child)

This is the best comment in the thread. Dont ever do kegels. Do reverse kegels. Once I realized that I could last like 20 mins. And the girl was really impressed.

I cannot explain but once you relax the muscles the sensation of bursting disappears.

Anyhow, I tried to improve that and started also doing kegels, and situation got worse. I dont know how I did the relaxation part anymore, it is not something that I cant control.

[–]Flaskborst 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have any links or videos thats shows some good reverse kegel excercises? I did only find some shit that I dont know if it is reverse or not.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]ronsoness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Great rec'd while OP figures out how to last longer. Even if OP busts really quickly, all that foreplay and exploring adds 5-20 minutes to sex. As someone that has a hard time cumming, I might also add it might be a mental thing.

    [–]meowsero 39 points40 points  (2 children)

    Practice edging.

    [–]babybopp 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    When i was younger... red wine did it for me.

    [–]HannibalBacara 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    In high school my friend drank mead to help him last longer in bed with his girlfriend. We called it the magic mead lol.

    [–]atradervish 40 points41 points  (1 child)

    Wearing a condom helps with lasting longer

    [–]_Last_Man_Standing_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    condom + 3 beers and I can't come no matter how long I keep on pounding...

    [–]JohnDick2k 52 points53 points  (5 children)

    Just bust and go again as many times as you want

    [–]rad_dynamic 23 points24 points  (4 children)

    this. cum all over ya girls stomach and then go straight back to it.

    [–]JohnDick2k 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    Aim at the wall to the left

    [–]Jacked1703 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    And the window to the right

    [–]lazydogg9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Or her sister under her.

    [–]Saberinbed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Its not that easy. Sometimes it kills the mood. You foreplay for like 20 minutes, get her wet as fuck and you bust in 10 seconds.

    I Found that the best way to deal with this is to first start doing a lot of cardio, and jerk off maybe 1-3 times per week.

    [–]bazwalt 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    It's not about how long you last. Anyone who tells you it is doesn't know shit.

    Foreplay is key. Lick her situation out, work on her kinks, find her sensitive spot and drive her fucking insane. You can make her bust without even using your dick. Once she's cum a few times then give her a good pounding.

    Many people will tell you various bullshit. Some people can last and some people can't so find another way and work with what you can.

    The whole stereotype about lasting is what brings many men down.

    I am by no means a man with exceptional stamina but I've managed to please every woman I've been with.

    [–]bobaisdope 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    This guy fucks. I think some of us watch porn too much and think that full hardcore is key but in my humble opinions, you have to tease the bitch out of shit, be gentle first, exploit her sensitive spots, lick her clitor, nipples whatever you wanna do to her, and you will reach the point when she gonna beg you to put your dick inside her wet vagina, but you keep teasing her out more.

    [–]bazwalt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Porn is very misleading.

    That said, some women will complain, no matter what, about how long you last.

    If she's one of those and you can't find a way to please her... Move on. Those kinds of women are not worth your time.

    The old saying "everyone has a price" is analogous to "every bitch has a weak point". You just gotta work it out.

    Familiarise yourself with the female body. The vagina is more than just a hole to rage with your dick. There are sensitive parts on the outside which are easily accessible and will drive most women through the roof.

    [–]Code-Master13 17 points18 points  (2 children)

    Have her give you a bj, then get going on her 15-20 minutes later. Has worked for me.

    [–]saltymike69 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    with me, BJ's make me almost come. I don't know if that's normal but it kinda worries me. I usually try to wait a few minutes but I usually lose my boner, or ust not last long inside

    [–]Code-Master13 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    The point is to cum, then 15 to 20 minutes later you actually have sex.

    [–]yooou_sonuvabitch 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Fuck all that noise. Get in missionary position. Do your thing... as soon as you feel like you are going to bust just pull out and dip down and start eating her out for like a minute.... when you feel yourself “calming down” a little go back in her. And just keep repeating until you feel you’ve gone long enough to bust. She’ll probably have an O this way too lol. Good luck OP

    [–]saltymike69 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    this is actually a really good idea! I'll have to try this out next time

    [–]yooou_sonuvabitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ride on. Glad to help.

    Just be sure to make the transition QUICKLY. Make it seem like “a move” not like you are switching positions every minute. Hope that makes sense. You got this.

    [–]BuckNekkid18 22 points23 points  (2 children)

    - Breathing

    - Pelvic floor balancing (kegels, reverse kegels)

    - Edging

    - Relaxing

    You can also buy numbing creams and delaying condoms, and if you're really desperate you can get drunk before sex (careful for whiskey dick), and as the last measure you can hop on low doseage SSRI's (Lexapro, Zoloft, Prozac, Celexa, etc.)

    [–]Helpcalculus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Careful with the pills though. Start at 25% of recommended dosage.

    [–]CatJongUn -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Probably your best answer here, OP

    [–]mrpoopistan 15 points16 points  (4 children)

    Every woman I have had sex with has said I can’t last.

    They sense your insecurity.

    My advice is practice being an ungenerous lover. If you nut fast, you nut fast. Who cares? Clearly women want to fuck you.

    [–]saltymike69 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    k off until your about to bust. Then stop for a minute and do the same. Do this for 15 minutes and then you can bust your load. Do this every time you wanna jerk o

    If she says something like that, what's a good response to not come off as insecure? I usually say "Sometimes I last long, sometimes I don't. That's life" but dont know if that's the best response

    [–]mrpoopistan 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I'm not very talkative during sex. I'm more likely to just laugh and keep going. (You wanna watch a woman go into hate/love mode, that does the trick.)

    My point is largely, don't be insecure.

    If there's one thing TRP nails right on the head, it's the idea that you need to learn that 1) your life is awesome and 2) she's just along for the ride.

    In my experience, it's the idea of a particular man that turns a woman on. Don't spend too much time worrying about performance. If she's dating you regularly, she has already bought into the idea of you. That's the thing women cling to.

    And if she ever complains to anyone about your performance, it'll sound like sour grapes.

    If someone does mention it to you, own it and laugh. "I'm like a high-performance car. 0-60 in no time flat."

    Add the cocky grin for maximum effect.


    I have a relative who goes all-in on this type of shit. He'll sit there telling women he's never talked to before that he has a baby dick. That he has no stamina. He does not give a fuck.

    Zero fucks given is your mantra. Fake it til you make it, if you have to. When you see how little any of this shit matters, you'll understand why ZFG is the way to live -- because life is stupid and degrading regardless. Embrace the suck and have a laugh along the way.

    [–]basedmolaj[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Thanks man, basically deal with it and not give af lol. Imma still try to work on stamina though

    [–]mrpoopistan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a sucker's bet focusing on stamina, guy.

    The path to being bad at sex is letting it all get in your head. The best cure to limited stamina is to relax and just do your thing. As you settle in, get more experienced and simply age (hormones change), you'll be better off if you're not carrying mental baggage.

    [–]mike21p 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    jack off until your about to bust. Then stop for a minute and do the same. Do this for 15 minutes and then you can bust your load. Do this every time you wanna jerk off

    [–]Bingomancometh 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    . Focus on your breathing. Don't worry about pleasing her. Make it feel good for yourself.

    [–]Bingomancometh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Also jo with lube only.

    [–]bobaisdope 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Make sure foreplay lasts around 10-15 minutes, tease her, squeeze her clitor, I don't know why but I think women don't want hardcore stuff, most of them won't reach orgasm anyway. I don't usually go full-force on her right away, I keep teasing her as long as I want and when she cannot resist anymore I thrust hard as much as I can and the girls and I we often reach orgasm together this way.

    [–]yung_gravy1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Edging helps with stamina. Let me double-double stress that I do NOT endorse the use of porn but nonetheless like everyone uses it. If you’re not already a consumer then I’d say stay the hell away but the chances are slim. Bust out the ol’ lube & boob tube and do your deed but do it SLOWLY. Set time goals. Make it a couple minutes one day, maybe 5 minutes the next, start creeping towards double digits. Lube is your #1 friend. Youre not designed to last much longer than 30-45 seconds when pleasured in a high friction environment. Lower friction = longer times.

    [–]WeCanCan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Same here, My psychology teacher said that its due to us being inexperienced, your girl needs to edge you, then you need to stop until you get your bearings back or until you become limp then repeat this how many times you want. Basically, the more times you get to that "I might/gonna come" state the more control your get every time. On average, after 3 months of practicing this you will see improvement.

    [–]devjitsu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Stop watching porn.

    [–]kayfab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    watch some harry potter movies to calm down before sex....

    [–]ElOweTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Stop watching porn

    [–]FZ_BA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Avoid watching porn

    [–]thisiswhyicant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Round one always goes fast. Bust in 20 seconds, take a 5 minute water break, and get back in there and destroy that shit. You’ll last way longer the second go round. You can do it champ!

    [–]Plazma_doge 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Low doses of SSRI will make you last as long as you want.

    [–]_Last_Man_Standing_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)


    how does that work?
    how low of a dose would you recommend?
    I know SSRI are bad for you but is a low dose better than something like Viagra...?

    [–]Plazma_doge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have no idea why or how it works, I recommend google if you want to look into it. I do not feel competent enough to give you "medical" advice.

    My opinion: Your brain needs to have some amount of neurotransmitters to function correctly, it is unhealthy going above that level, it is just as unhealthy to stay BELOW that level. Same goes for almost anything in your body. I will use extreme example to make a point:

    It is just as unhealthy NOT to take amphetamines or steroids if your body is below the "normal" level range, as it is to take those if your body will go above the normal level range.

    [–]stefchou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Try kegels and stop watching porn/jerking off

    [–]_Last_Man_Standing_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    change your rhythm and position often...
    changing your rhythm will make you last longer and make her want it more...
    like do:
    - 4 fast thrusts all the way
    - 3 slow thrusts all the way
    - 5 fast thrusts only half the way
    - 2 slow thrusts only the tip
    - 2 slow wiggles across the clit
    - repeat
    - when you see she's cumming and can't take it anymore... smash smash smash...
    - you come at the same time

    [–]htowntrav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    If you’re having sex the act doesn’t have to stop at the first nut. Do something together and stay busy, keep the mood going. Be happy, calm, relaxed but sexual aroused. Take a couple minutes and get back to having sex. Lather, rinse, repeat.

    [–]andystyle24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Smoke some weed or drink some drinks. 100% way to last longer

    [–]Rollo_Mayhem3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Practice bro. Practice. And Practice. Develop a rhythm. Once you bust. Take a 5 min, break, remove the condom, flush with your own eyes, relax, lay with her, grab her ass, have her blow u again, shove it on again...after 100 times, ypill learn what to do. Coincidentally, i busted 5 nuts tonight, drink water, give each nut about 15 minutes...you'll learn your body.

    [–]EvFlix83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's usually the 1st time for me. The anticipation has been building and you can't help it. I hope women understand that. But gimme 10 mins and ready to go bc that wasn't even the real deal that was just the anxiousness. But even the 2nd time wont be full potential. 5 or 6 times, cupp days, once I get used to it at least a little bit and comfortable is when I can go for however long and start focusing on the things that rly matter like getting her off first and often and rly finding what and how she likes. And I know a lot of women consider guys coming fast a compliment. Obvi not ideal at first and awkward etc, but a necessary "learning curve" I guess you could say. At least that's me. And it might not be 5 or 6 times over a few days. But def the first time I'd expect it to be quick. But any guy who cares should be ready asap to go again, and hopefully your smart enough to keep her turned on during this hopefully short hiatus, bc we know it wasn't much and just the jitters and anticipation that is almost uncontrolllable. And hope that she's down to go again asap too and doesn't kick you out lol. But if your honest and upfront and just be cool should be ok most of the time. It's all in the comfort and getting that initial bullshit outa the way. Believe me we want to go longer and harder and just as passionate than you women prob want to. Just gotta work up to it, preferably quick as possible lol.

    [–]DouglasPR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Research on internet, there is lots of exercises to do alone and or with your girl. Exemples: Edge and Manual manouver (when you are about to burst hold (pinch) your glans with two fingers to close the channel (nothing strong, just cut the flux). First times you will make a mess, but it will help you know your timing and learn the series of things that happen together in your body so you have an ejaculation. And of course, go see a doctor. He will help you or direct you to a specialist in sex related issues. Learning to relax is also important (easier said then done, I know). When I was young I had this problem too. Most of it came from anxiety (yes sex can be stressful as being on a fight-flight situation). I gave too much importance to what she would think of my performance and it ended up doing it nervously and made everything worse. Its not easy, but its possible to learn how to relax and enjoy yourself (like almost from a third person perspective, if you know what I mean, to help you detach from the overhelming need to cum). Get help bro. Relax, enjoy

    [–]Aidsagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Practice breathing and relaxing your muscles. Stop/slow down when it gets intense and grab/light clamp your nuts and pull them down away from your body. This will ease the tension and let the juice flow back down allowing delaying your finish time.

    Practice solo of course.

    Only drawback is that it looks like you're a banging your own asshole in certain positions, but girls like that kind of stuff anyway so bonus?

    [–]randomcaqitaLization 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Have sex twice, use fingers and tongues when you’re recovering, think about something else than sex, practice edging (preferable without porn), try to make your pelvic muscle stronger, or just don’t give a fuck

    [–]8700nonK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I really don't think edging is the solution. I last a bit longer but not great. Edging has done nothing for me for months.

    There are a few guides on forums out there, and you should try all of them and see what works. For me not coming close to the point of no return gave me nice improvements.

    So masturbate slowly but steady enough to be erect but not come close to ejaculation (brain training to not chase the ejaculation). Try to suppress the involuntary contractions. Practice reverse kegels (super important) while masturbating and kegels in free time. Slow the breathing down, don't inhale through the mouth.

    In time after lasting time gets longer, add more speed, again trying to keep away from that point of no return. Edging means coming close to that point and then backing down and back up. For some that doesn't help, because after coming close to the point, you get back to it very quickly.

    [–]joner888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Try Cialis or Viagra .

    [–]throwabcdaway2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What about second round?

    Ok so for starters DONT GO FAST RIGHT AWAY. Period. For at least 2-5 min, go slow and when its coming, stop and tighen auper hard every muscle of your body, starting with the penis one (the one which keep piss inside) for 10 second. The come up will go down. Continue going slow. After 2 or 3 times of that it should get better.

    In geneneral theres a "mental space" where you can last longer: its about not getting excited and energised but rather thinking to other thing while mechanically having sex. Not super exciting to think about differential equtions during sex lol but at least ur girl is having some fun and u can enjoy as much as u want at the end. Hard to described but its a sort of "stoic", almost "aloof" metal space...

    Good luck !

    P.s. Also maybe you are just gay lol

    [–]arphmaal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s a mental thing and one suggestion I read on a similar post is to literally not give a fuck about any of it. You’re busting soon because you’re thinking about it and are worried. Just don’t give a fuck about it. Do what you want. It will help get over the worry of it all and then you’ll be lasting longer in no time.

    I use this method and I also have stopped watching porn and I can usually last as long as I want.

    [–]ppanthero 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    i KINDA wish i had your problem... i have the opposite. i can go and go and go and often leave frustrated because i can't get off.

    i'm not sensitive at all... wasn't sensitive when i was a teenager either.

    my girl loves the fact that she can get all she wants every time we're together, but sometimes, she feels 'weird' bc she can't get me off.

    my advice to you is to watch porn guys. lol. seriously, when you feel like you're about to blast off, switch her to another position. then, another position... then another... and another. keep doing this until you can control it.

    ... and about control. practice male 'kegels.' start pissing and make yourself stop. keep doing this until you can literally stop the flow of urine. when you're having sex & about to cum, squeeeeeeze really hard (as you did while pissing) and the urge will go down. then, start fucking again.

    this is a technique that porn stars use. source: my HS football teammate did porn in the late 80's (pre-viagra), and that was his 'secret' to last thru scenes and keep an erection without finishing.

    [–]Peter_B_Long 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    1. Wear a condom. 2. Wear a thick condom ( her pleasure) 3. Wear a condom that desensitizes your dick (extended) 4. Read sex god method. 5. Smoke weed

    [–]alpha_bravado 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Are you intact or foreskin removed?

    [–]LordShoan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have the opposite problem. Do you wear a condom?

    [–]Morphs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Learn what I call soft-orgasms. Which means getting close to the edge, tense your PC muscle and if you do it right, you'll get like a mini-orgasm. Not full-blown, but it feels good and releases some tension. Withint 20sec you can go again and everything is a bit less sensitive, although pressure is building up.

    I'm quite in the opposite camp, being able to fuck for 20+ minutes no problem. Overall the women love it, but sometimes I wish I was a bit more sensitive. I'm unable to come from a bj or the woman riding me.

    Anyway, years of furious masturbation and porn decreased my penile sensitivity. Going NoFap for 118 days made me incredible sensitive again for a while. So I guess doing to opposite may work for you.

    [–]Big_Daddy_PDX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    You’re just lazy. It feels just as awesome to all of us that can last longer, yet for some reason you lack the control. Women have nothing good to say about a man that can’t last in bed. Get some focus.

    [–]MoneroMoonbase -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Some doctors prescribe tramadol for PE. It can make it extremely hard to finish, but it can be very addictive. Maybe try 50mg.

    [–]Helpcalculus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Fuck no dude, stay away from tramadol.

    [–]Exodus230 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Not advisable long term but cialis you can bust a nut and stay hard and keep going indefinitely. It may give you a bit of a confidence boost and youll get more experience of going for longer.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]randomcaqitaLization 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    The rules say you can’t make comments starting with “I as a women” or similar, I don’t mind but, just incase moderators are active

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]randomcaqitaLization 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      What I meant is apparently you can give advice or comment, but if you area women, don’t shout it out to get attention/be put on a pedestal, plenty betas crawling around here (me included)