Beta faggot trying to change (self.asktrp)

submitted by imadruid

So i realized im a pathetic beta faggot just recently. I've been seeking for validation, showing concern when people insult me or desperately tried to be cool which made me look silly. At this point i am probably a subject of laugh to my peers. I am trying very hard to gain confidence but its a hard and long process after so many years of low self esteem. People have zero respect to me and im looking forward to changing that but can you even regain frame to people that know you are a beta? What do i do when someone insults my look? Like some faggot tends to laugh from time to time saying my hair is shit my face looks dumb and my posture is retarded. I use to just ignore that or ask him " why do you say that" which i know is beta as fuck but i didnt realize it untill recently. What are some essential tips regarding confidence and a good frame? How to not give a fuck? Like i let stuff get into my head and make me depressed pretty easily

[–]Aggressive_Beta 75 points76 points  (1 child)

The second you realize you’re a beta faggot is the second you begin your process of permanently changing that.

[–]mutuleel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Username checks out!

[–]kap1pa 48 points49 points  (1 child)

First off, stop calling yourself a faggot.

[–]BusterVadge 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Start by respecting yourself starting right now, OP. Unless you truly do like dick. Then disregard.

[–]X--Man 50 points51 points  (5 children)

Lift, get bigger. People tend to talk less shit when it appears that you can rip their head and arms off with ease.

It also sounds like you might be 15-17 years old. This shit will pass in time. Surround yourself by people who arent jackasses.

Other than that, read the sidebar...everything you need is there.

[–]imadruid[S] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

im actually 18, can't choose which people i surround myself with, the school does it for me

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Ironic how monk mode is pretty much always the best answer. I think we found the Konami code to life.

    [–]Dulow1220 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Take it from me, unless your peers are actually people you value and will likely maintain relationships with 10 years down the line, forget about them. If they add nothing of value to your life, ignore them. You don't have to drop them as friends (unless they are not providing anything beneficial to you) and go monk mode as previously suggested. Focus on becoming assertive and dominant, lift, build your self esteem and learn game, read the sidebar and fully digest it, seek out mentors, and figure out what career path you're going to follow. You have a godsend of a resource by access to this sub and the red pill in general, at 18, you have the potential to become your best self within your 20s. You are lucky! Don't squander these opportunities. In 10 years time, when you are the alpha male, pulling 9s and 10s consistently and successful in life, those same fucks that are your peers will be looking to you for admiration. Decide what you choose to do at that point. Good luck on your journey brother.

    P.S. I was at this point three years ago, I'm 29, turning 30 this August. You're way ahead of most people by realizing these things now. Choose to act on the advice provided to you here, and improve your self worth and confidence.

    [–]jm51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    can't choose which people i surround myself with

    Use them for practice.

    You could act as if he has the hots for you. Are you ever going to stop having a crush on me? Stop negging me, you need better pickup lines than that.

    If that doesn't work, try something else. Keep trying until you find their weak spot. Keep the delivery light, gives you plausible deniability. Fuck man, why you getting angry over a joke? Jeez...

    [–]snaptogrid 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Get in shape. Get good at a few useful things -- and NOT videogames, stuff like math or cooking. Read some good books about how the world really works. Watch some good documentaries on the same topic. Start experimenting with girls and sex. Read Heartiste, especially his 16 Commandments of Poon. Before you know it, time will have passsed and you'll be away from the losers who are bugging you now.


    [–]Ghyslain333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That link is sidebar material.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]Morphs_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    What a great scene. The first time I hated Tyler for doing this. After having endured pain in various forms on different meditation retreats, it makes so much sense. Pain is a gateway to enlightenment, but only if we closely observe it.

    @OP: ignore when they say something, but do consider it as some form of feedback. At home, you go inspect your posture and fix it if needed. Inspect your haircut and fix it. LIFT, get some nice clothes, up your SMV.

    Lastly, learn go to through pain. Take up some intense sports like MMA. Go back to your roots, learn to fight, etc.

    Once you radiate you don't give a fuck and people will not mess with you while you've increased your SMV, the world starts to become yours.

    Now get to work.

    [–]Thunderfin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Sidebar. Books. Lifting.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Just my two cents, you evidently do not have any respect for yourself. Monk mode for at least 3 months : NoFap, No videogames, no shitty tv shows (might as well go noTV, beside news channel and dedicated history/science channels there's really nothing worth watching in monk mode), go to bed at 10pm max, your goal is to wake up before your alarm clock, do as much productive work as you can:I meditate, do some cardio and abs/glutes bodyweight circuits, read a good self-help book or something related to my major. Read Cal Newport's books ASAP, listen/watch CollegeInfoGeek videos while you're doing chores/working out (Yes, you will be able to lift without Rob Bailey & The Hustle Standard)make crushing it in school your #2 priority,just after your physical and mental health : you should also consider taking a multivitamin, drink 2 glasses of water after every meal and keep your crib spotless (does wonders for your mental state). Once you've internalized these habits and pimp-slapped your teachers opinion on you move on to your social needs: Become a charming and sexy motherfucker : Read the ''Charisma Myth'' by Olivia Cabane and ''How to win friends and influence people'' (No, if your frame is strong being charming won't make you look beta, think James Bond or Pierce Brosnan in ''The Thomas Crown affair'') as for being alpha/building frame/become confident and assertive you can find plenty of resources online. Moving on to grooming I can't recommend enough ''The handsome factor'' if you want a book but you can find plenty of resources online too. Once people respond well to you do shit with them, it is really not that hard a simple ''What are you doing this weekend?'' will suffice. Your goal is not just to enjoy yourself with some cool people (even though it should be your priority)but to get ''vetted'' into their social circle. Once you've done that repeat with other dudes/ social circles, your goals is to become the guy everyone knows (MASSIVE boost to your SMV as well). As for your esteem needs, you're already in the top 20% of your class (and aiming to move up) if you've got other hobbies beside Working out consistently( even if being knowledgeable about the various theories of bodybuilding, simple anatomy and if you really aim for the bonus points a brief history of bodybuilding at least 'untill Schwarzenegger, I personally can't see the point in what happened to it later) you should aim to become a master at them too : Read, schedule,apply,repeat, that's it. Trust me, nobody, not even yourself would dare to call you a faggot after 3 months of doing that. Let us know how you're faring three months from now. Good luck bro.

    [–]imadruid[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Thanks for your input i do really appreciate it. I have tried no fap sadly i relapsed after 20 days but i can tell the testosterone levels were insane. When it comes to the modern addictions - i don't ever watch TV although im addicted to video games which is probably the main reason of my problems. I have mild ADHD and my procrastination is just driving me crazy. I will for sure try meditation and get on nofap again, I read books on a daily basis mostly about history. I have a good habit of drinking alot of water which is probably the reason why im not obese right now considering my lack of any physical activity. Ive always been socially retarded so ill focus on human interactions. I'm thankful for the sources youve given me though i doubt they're available in my language but will try to look for it, see you in three months

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    They are not available in my language either, does it matter ? Just PirateBay 'em dude, it's for a good cause. Videogames are a SERIOUS concern, they were the main reason i became the pariah of my small town and why i wasted two years of university. They mess with your mind and as I've said that's your Number #1 priority. Your ADHD ? Videogames. Laziness ? Videogames. Sure, somepeople can limit themselves to one hour or two a day and actually follow trough, I got the witcher 3 and spent 3 weeks playing almost every waking hour of mine. No use beating around the bush, you can realize if it's an addiction or not and if it is you have to be brutal with yourself, you'll thank yourself later trust me (P.S. r/stopgaming is there for you bro). I find your lack of exercise disturbing too, nothing builds up esteem like popping guns and shredded abs. If you can, join a gym. Read about gym etiquette, don't be obnoxious and people should be at least mildly responsive to you. Spot them, ask them to spot you, act confidently and socially like that fuckin yet so charming jerk in high school you hated and envyed so much, people won't think you're a weirdo just because you're chatting them up, don't worry. If they seem friendly, ask them if they're attending cool event x or whatever, if you do see them outside the gym aknowledge them and invite them for a drink, nothing builds male friendships like alcohol. ( You're not socially retarted, you're socially underdeveloped, i used to be that way too ? Guess who's to blame ? ). On a side note, I'm an history buff too, sadly, excelling in your hobbies is merely a level 4 priority (It should be even lower since you can't really show your knowledge in history in a cool way often). Remember, your first priority is physical and mental health, devour whatever book you find on the subject,follow yt channels and subreddits, apply the habits. Your second priority is school/career/money, ditto (Again, I can't recommend enough cal newport books and Thomas Frank /CollegeInfoGeek). Your Third priority is building a rewarding social circle /social life,plates should go here, but there's no point in collocating them before your esteem needs,therefore just work on building your smv. Trust me dude, nothing charges you like having your priorities sorted out and knowing exactly what you want from life. Hit me up for any question or just to share your progresses, it's going to be one helluva journey. P.S. I can't help to wonder where you might be from and what your first language actually is, your english is flawless.

    [–]RisenFromBelow 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Why are you being depressed about it? If anything, I would love the criticism. Why do I love it? Because you are your own project. There'll be people that will want to help/work with you and there are people in the backseat that will give criticism. Sometimes the criticism part is either out of jealously, making fun of you or constructive criticism.

    Work on your project. Plan and design to achieve a particular aim. You can't get any worse than you are now. You can only get better. Fix your appearance. The confidence and frame will come with it.

    [–]imadruid[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    When i look at myself in the mirror i think im decent looking, my skin is clear my hair is thick im tall and a good jaw but then someone shit talks and then i question myself if i live in an illussion because no body has ever complimented my looks and that's confusing

    [–]Aralant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Don't let it get to you. As you get older, I'm talking like 20 years old the crowds you hang around become more mature your appearance will seldom come up in conversation.

    As previously mentioned exercise, if you're overweight this will give you a stronger jawline and if you're skinny this will fill you out.

    As for maintaining frame when insulted, ask yourself "is this person important enough to warrant a response?" Most likely the answer is no. In which case you should give a slight glance maybe 2 seconds long then continue your conversation with someone else. This makes the bully feel irrelevant, but more important this makes them look irrelevant to the rest of the people there.

    If the person is important then chances are they are looking for self validation by putting you down which imo is worse that just trying to be mean to you. If you absolutely must gain rapport with this individual I recommend you amplify to the point of absurdity. Example "Dude your face is really ugly." "I know right I should act in movies lol" Then quickly move on with the conversation.

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    People have zero respect to me and im looking forward to changing that but can you even regain frame to people that know you are a beta?

    yes but it's hard work and even if you do you should start again with others

    What do i do when someone insults my look?

    not care

    I use to just ignore that or ask him " why do you say that"

    ask no questions, even rhetorically

    What are some essential tips regarding confidence and a good frame?

    built yourself, stop needing anything from others that you can't easily get.

    How to not give a fuck?

    prioritise YOU.

    Like i let stuff get into my head and make me depressed pretty easily

    stop needing anything from other people. if you need nothing from them, you won't care what they say and do. and then you won't get into your head worrying about it

    [–]RedPillAlphaBigCock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Step #1 Lift NOW

    Step #2 Lift NOW

    Step #3 Read a bit of the side bar and top posts on here every day

    Step #4 About the insults - It dosn't matter what you say - It only matters if you REACT - So if you get insulted laugh it off and fire back WITHOUT EMOTIONALLY REACTING - Baciscally this post here but for guys: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5fihmu/how_to_get_laid_like_a_warlord_37_rules_of/

    [–]bosshawg502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Probably one of the better things to do would be DO very little to begin with. Don't go in and read Red Pill theory and try to change yourself completely all at once. For starters, it doesn't work that way, and also you'll end up looking like some try hard wannabe to everyone you know. Take it one step at a time and ease into it that way the transition isn't so abrupt and people look at you like who the hell is this guy supposed to be now? Like these guys said start lifting. Do it quietly and at your own pace. No Instagram selfies from the gym, no "body positivity" posts etc. let the gains come and people will notice on their own. From there, keep reading the sidebar, applying theory pieces at a time to your daily life and it will slowly start to come together and work in your favor. Before you know it, you'll be top dog in your social circle and the people that used to shut you down will now be looking at YOU for validation, YOU to lead the group activities etc. take it in your stride be collected and you'll be just fine

    [–]claptilley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    First step is to stop putting yourself down. So you got some shit wrong. We all do. Constantly. Learn from it. Learn why it happened. Learn what was in your control. Read. Read. Read. Gym. Gym. Gym. Confidence grows from discipline. This is not a light switch. It is a lifestyle change. You got questions. Ask them. Dont preface them by calling yourself beta or faggot. Nothing of value happened when you did this. Not for us. Not for you.

    [–]kyzen142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It takes courage bro. You already know what to do you are just afraid to do it. Decide to live your life courageously and start working out and doing things that get you closer to ur goals cuz that will help give you the energy to have the courage. It is a mindset and the mindset is that you are ready to take/handle any negative reaction that might come from practising courage. And yes you can establish respect with people that already think you are beta but be warned they will react very strongly cuz it will shatter their reality of you but hold your ground whatever happens.

    [–]chadjugo 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    Do you approach?

    [–]imadruid[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    no ive never tried to approach a women, i hate clubs

    [–]chadjugo 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Hmmm...rural or large city?

    [–]imadruid[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    i live in the suburbs of 800k city in a traditional country so the women aren't as spoiled as in the west which is a good thing

    [–]fignootins 1 point2 points  (0 children)


    [–]2itiswr1tten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I wrote this for someone else but it'll help you too

    This is a classic example of what is termed a "victim puke". You're barfing out self loathing without a discernible purpose or lesson learned. Let me help:

    • Hating yourself is not self improvement

    • Recognizing that you are a loser is step zero, not step one

    • Acknowledging failure without attempting to learn from it is as useless as coming here to cry about it

    So, if you want to fill this giant emotional black hole and stop repulsing sexual prospects, figure out these things:

    • What are you good at, and how can you maximize it?

    • What do you not like about yourself, and how can you break the cycle of obsessing about it?

    • Understand what your actual mission in life is RIGHT NOW (I.e. What's the next thing you must accomplish, not "do it immediately")

    With less self loathing you'll free up head space. With more head space you can reflect. With reflection you can create a plan. With a plan your actions will be congruent with your mission. Congratulations, you'll be much less of a loser at this point. Good luck

    [–]shadowfuse8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Being aware is the first step towards changing! Stop giving a fuck about everyone's opinions and just keep trying with everything. Mistakes = Experience = Results. Go to the gym instead of hanging around those haters. Sleep on the floor for better posture. Go out at night by yourself and see who you actually are. All of these have helped me and I hope they do the same for you!

    [–]Wrath_of_Trump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's less complicated than you think. Stop doing the things you are currently doing, and start doing the things you aren't.

    [–]redd_reality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So i realized im a pathetic beta faggot just recently. I've been seeking for validation,

    We all do this to some degree. It'll never go away totally and you wouldn't want it to. Just scale it back to a healthy level.

    I am trying very hard to gain confidence but its a hard and long process after so many years of low self esteem. People have zero respect to me and im looking forward to changing that but can you even regain frame to people that know you are a beta?

    Often people who know you won't align with your new level of self respect. Those people were never friends. Axe them and move on.

    Also, building frame and self esteem takes years of consistent effort and actually raising your smv until your environment respects you at the level you respect you. Don't worry if you're not there, just keep working st it and trust it will get there eventually.

    What do i do when someone insults my look? Like some faggot tends to laugh from time to time saying my hair is shit my face looks dumb and my posture is retarded. I use to just ignore that or ask him " why do you say that" which i know is beta as fuck but i didnt realize it untill recently. What are some essential tips regarding confidence and a good frame? How to not give a fuck? Like i let stuff get into my head and make me depressed pretty easily

    You sound like you're in grade school, so what I would recommend is either stand your ground 110% as in, call him out directly and make him apologize. If he does anything less than that, square up with him and throw down.

    Alternatively, walk away. You don't need to be hanging in the same peer group as people who disrespect you. Hint: those aren't "friends" but very real enemies. They would hurt you severely given the chance. Cut em lose. It's better to be alone than surrounded by fagget scum.

    And btw, you're not the beta fagget, they are. You're reaching out for real advice on how to become better and more valuable - they choose to reinforce their incompetence and low value by calling others down. I already respect you more than I respect them.

    [–]ADeadDawg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    everybody is a beta faggot at that age bro.. you will grow into your masculinity with time. Men age like wine, so long as you take the proper steps. Make sure you're physically active, eat healthy, and wear clothes that are simple yet stylish that fit properly.

    [–]MikeAlphaGolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Good advice here.

    18 is a very hard time in your life if you are not one of the cool kids. So much hot pussy around that you can’t touch. People going to college. All the good shit.

    You can improve your lot faster than you think though. As everyone says, start with the lifting. Get a good haircut and do what you can to improve your style. In a few months you will soo improvements. By 20 you could be a whole different man.

    Watch how you carry yourself. Talk less. But walk into every room like you own the place. Don’t wallow in pity. Work your way out of it.

    [–]Ill_Will7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lift. Gives you energy confidence and raises smv.

    [–]1kick6 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    You let someone tell you that your hair looks shit without unhinging their jaw?

    [–]timothy92 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Fighting someone over a comment about your hair? That just screams insecurity

    [–]1kick6 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    It’s more about the principal. If you’re such a bitch that people are comfortable insulting you to your face, it’s going to take a pretty big jolt for them to respect you.

    [–]timothy92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I see what you're saying but I think a better way to deal with it would be to just tell them you don't give a shit what they think.

    [–]imadruid[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Id love to do that but the fact that I will be seeing this guy for another year till i graduate from the school kinda prevents me from punching anyone even tho i wish i could

    [–]1kick6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Go no contact at the very least.