46
47

LTR is ending as of this morning. I am lost, I don't know what to do. Help. (self.asktrp)

submitted by Terrin0

9 years... Nine fucking years. My love, my devotion and it all ends with a bang(lol).
Background: Me and my gf have been living together for the last five of nine years, she is the only woman I have ever slept with and no I do not have oneitis... I simply thought that I had found someone with whom I could spend my life if I acted properly... To be honest she has massive daddy issues that I always used to my advantage, being older by 4 years and initiating our relationship when she was 17 and I was 21. Now shes 25 and I'm 29 and I suppose I have faltered.

I discovered TRP when we were having relationship problems a few years ago and have pledged myself since then to become a better and better man, and goddammit I have succeeded.

Story: My gf works for the local city school district and therefore has long periods of uninterrupted paid time off. Her birthday falls into this summer break and she decided to go to her mothers house on Marthas vineyard to celebrate. It is after all beautiful. A few days after she arrived there I recived a text message saying I should call her asap. I did, and she revealed to me that she got really reaaaallllyyyy drunk and ended up waking up in bed with an acquaintance from the island. Fully clothed, and nothing happened apparently... this line of "nothing happened" set off an alarm bell and I knew I couldn't let it lie. Having rooted her phone previously I knew I could gain access with a simple piece of software if I could sneak it in, which I did and won't waste time with the details of how, but what I found was damming. They were sharing naked pics and talking about how it would be "his turn to cum..." when they met up tonight. I called her and did not reveal what I knew, I simply told her that I knew she was lying and that I wanted the truth. I repeated that line for about 20 mins until she caved and told me that she had sex with him and that those other texts were sent while she was drunk( alcoholism runs in her family and is being used a scapegoat here). I hung up on her drank half a bottle of jack and am now contemplating my next move. I walked straight to work and explained the situation to my boss who was sympathetic and I now have the next five days free. I need help... I don't know what to do now. My best friend and confidant, my partner in life has betrayed me. I am lost at sea without a paddle. What do I do?

I am about to call the 'other' man and threaten his life because phone calls cannot be legally recorded, only text messages. The urge is strong, and I train in amateur MMA as a result of my time on TRP and I am not bad, so my threat will not be empty.

Update: I don't know how updates work on reddit, so I don't know if anyone will actually see this, but I wanted to write it down anyways.

I made mistakes: I sent a slew of resentful texts and messages, I drank til I was blacked out, I blamed chad. BUT I did not call him. I did not go see her when she came back to town. I have not spoken with/texted her since.

We had a lease together that ends in November, so I was worried about that, but through my lines of communication with her family, I know that she takes major responsibility and has legally had the rest of the lease brought into her name even though neither of us will be living there. I am staying with family right now, and it's good to have a support network. My apartment was completely emptied of possessions(those I didn't break or smash during my drunken stupor) by her family and I lost ALOT of my shit. Over half my wardrobe and many personal possessions. But I could not be there to see her and her family. It would have been bad. I also didn't know they were throwing everything into the trash(I was a BB looking back on it, I paid for the apartment and utilities and fun times even though she had a job) or I would have had someone go save my shit...

Things can be replaced far more easily than my own self worth and I don't know what I would have done if I had seen her.

That being said I know I need time for recuperation.... But my idiot brother, being a BB himself right now(big time, thats a whole new post) decided what I needed was a date. I went and she's this fucking cute 9/10 21 year old college senior 5,2 100-110lbs c cups and no life experience. I did the date and it was fucking weird and awkward(9 years, no practice). Honestly it was worse because I could see that my brother really REALLY wants to fuck this chick(date was being held at him and his gf's house). I guess he just wants me fuck her so he can live a sad vicarious dream... Well, I bombed and everyone went home awkwardly, yet the next morning I get a text from this chick saying she somehow had 'fun' and wanted to know if I ever wanted to hang out again... She wants me to chill with her tonight and I just don't fucking know....... I'm sure I'll fail, but I've never been one to stagnate. I like moving foreword. Do you think I should deal with my emotional shit alone? Or should I attempt a notch in my belt this soon? Even if it does end in failure...


[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

[–]Terrin0[S] 32 points33 points  (6 children)

I will not call chad, thank you for your advice.

[–]Frdl 42 points43 points  (4 children)

You should thank Chad. If you've only slept with 1 woman in your entire life, you have no idea what you really want from a woman.

[–]AlfaGTV6 26 points27 points  (0 children)

"Sorry that I fucked her, but now you know she's not the one." -Chadish Gambino

Chad did you a favor, if not now it's some other time. What if this never happened and she gets pregnant one day, only to find out ten years latter little Johnny ain't yours? Take it as a blessing. Youre about to hit a peak smv window. Take your time, rebuild, then be a great man.

[–]Atheisticles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so fucking true. Only 1 woman in your entire life? Hell, write chad a christmas card ffs.

[–]redpill-visceral 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agree. Also 29 here and single for about 3 months. You have everything to explore, life has just begin.

[–]trpftw -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for not calling, I have an early morning meeting.

No but seriously, there's a lot of women who expect marriage "after a certain number of years" and if you don't do everything perfectly and have them constantly attracted to you, that LTR turns into either a breakup or infidelity.

[–]JustACrosshair_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am not going to lie. I fucking love these posts.

You thought you had it all figured out didn't you? Here is your newfound sanctuary. You are being baptized.

The decisions you make in the next three days are going to determine your next three weeks. The actions you take in those three weeks will determine your next three months. The consistency of your discipline during those three months will determine your next three years. The ideas you choose to accept or reject in those three years will determine whether you end up in this same exact spot, or somewhere you can't even comprehend right now.

You probably feel so terribly unlucky, maybe actually hurt.

You have no idea the gift you have been given.

If you think you know who you are right now, I challenge you to think harder.

Good luck. These next few weeks are going to be the hardest, and most important, weeks of your life. If you play things right, you come back to this post in a year, you will see exactly what I mean.

[–]flyers156 49 points50 points  (1 child)

AWALT. Engrave that in your head.

Cut off all ties with her, calling Chad won't do you any good.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I'm new to TRP and I'd like to know what AWALT means cheers.

[–]EscapedTheMatrix 43 points44 points  (4 children)

•and no I do not have oneitis

•I am about to call the 'other' man and threaten his life

Hmm. For some reason I am seeing a disparity here. Can't put my finger on it. /s

because phone calls cannot be legally recorded, only text messages.

You're totally wrong, by the way. Who gave you the idea that phone calls can't be legally recorded?

The urge is strong, and I train in amateur MMA as a result of my time on TRP and I am not bad, so my threat will not be empty.

Sure, give into your urges like a pussy instead of mastering them like a man, and use your training for completely wrong reasons, antithetical to everything MMA stands for. Nothing wrong here. /s

Anyway, you have two options here.

One, you can lose frame entirely and threaten the man who slept with your girlfriend. At best, you lose frame and appear weak and broken to both your ex and her new lover. At worst, you get into a physical altercation and possibly get yourself into serious medical and/or legal trouble. You wallow in the past and never regain the happiness you deserve.

Two, you adhere to the tenets of TRP and move on. Forget her, lose her number, ignore any attempt she makes to contact you. Prove to her (and more importantly, to yourself) that you never needed her and that you are self-sufficient because you are a man. You go out, you meet new women, you sleep around, you forget your ex. You move on with your life. You find happiness again.

Two options. Choose wisely.

[–]Terrin0[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Thank you.

[–]monkeylogic42 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything other guy said, just want to add - 1st rule about fight club: dont talk about fight club. But seriously, no threat is an "empty" threat with a determined person behind it. Your AMATEUR mma experience means nothing when you get all hot headed and STABBED in the street. Then you look like a retard and might as well claim your a black belt while youre at it. Seriously. Thats the single douchiest thing that couldve come out of your mouth and makes me think you REALLY need to re-evaluate your idea of a red piller. I know you wrote it out of anger and drunken frustration possibly, but if thats your instinct, 'beef yourself up with your delusional amateur experience', you are misunderstanding the message. You need really your ass kicked awfully hard so you dont even have the instict to talk like that anymore. Im not saying that to be mean, go find the best guy in the gym, and get mollywhopped for 30 min. Youll feel better, and calling that guy out wont get you stabbed, thrown in jail, or is likely to hurt(seriously injure) you being from the same gym. Good luck, stop playing tough guy and just move on.

[–]Hellstruelight 6 points7 points  (0 children)

great post. you're totally correct about MMA.

[–]OrpheusV 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some states have two party consent laws for recordings, meaning both parties must consent or a recording is illegal and you could get in deep shit legally.

Most states have a law where you don't have to inform about recording though, and odds are, he's in one of those states.

[–]abdada 46 points47 points  (10 children)

You are still years before a man hits his best. She's one year away from becoming sexually invisible to top men.

Perfect timing.

[–]1TopTRP 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Yep.

OP this is a blessing.

she is the only woman I have ever slept with

You have been liberated. Use this event as motivation to kick ass at life, starting right now.

You're about to have a lot more free time and money on your hands.

Free time = start religiously hitting the gym if you haven't been already.

More money = start doing cool shit with your life.

While you're at it, get some more notches on your belt.

You've been locked down for so long, now is your time to break free and live life to it's fullest as you enter your prime. Don't squander this opportunity.

Her life is all downhill from here.

[–]CD_Johanna 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Her life is all downhill from here.

We really need to quit perpetuating the "fair world" fallacy around here. If your girlfriend cheats on you, she will not suddenly have misfortune; she will in all likelihood still go on to have a great life with or without OP. And that's okay.

[–]NPIF 15 points16 points  (4 children)

I don't know what it is with guys on TRP thinking life ends after you hit 30. Are you kidding me? Life is just getting STARTED at 30.

In your teenage years you have nothing, except maybe your body and potentially some high school popularity. Once you turn 18, all of this is going to disappear anyway. You'll have to start fresh. Your teenage years are a wash no matter who you are, but if you find TRP early enough and start lifting and becoming more socially aware, you can definitely take steps to make things easier as you get older.

By the time your'e in your 20s you're still "getting settled" so to speak - some people go to college, university, trade school, or jump straight into the workforce. But all 20-somethings have one thing in common - they're newly into the world of adulthood, and there's still a learning curve and adaptation that's required as you find your footing and discover who you want to become. Most men in their 20s are just starting to build their careers, making some money, buying a car, house etc... getting established. Your 20s can be great, but they aren't the be all and end all.

Once you're in your 30s though, that's where the real fun can begin. You have a career. A car. Hopefully by this time you've bought property. You're established. If you've been lifting and watching your diet, your SMV is literally at it's PEAK in your 30s because you still look young enough that women won't think they're fucking their dad, AND you have the material assets which women use as determinants of your SMV.

Guys, if you're in your late 20s and worried that you "missed out" in your 20s, RELAX. You're entering what many men consider the best years of their lives. Channel your energy into the things you can change, instead of worrying about that which you can't.

[–]Gawernator 7 points8 points  (2 children)

And luckily for guys like me with baby face... by the time I hit 30 I'll still look 25

[–]KingoftheAssholes 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Can confirm. 31 people still say I look 25 23 with no facial hair.

[–]Gawernator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 22 going on 18

[–]villanovablues 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this post. I was so depressed thinking I had missed out in my 20's. I'm all happy again!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

When is the "peak" for men? I'm mid-20s and feel like I'm just scratching the surface of my potential.

[–]abdada 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Google: Rollo Tomasi SMV chart

I believe 37 is peak and a gentle plateau.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Don't make the call. Look forward.

[–]rurpe 12 points13 points  (4 children)

simply thought that I had found someone with whom I could spend my life if I acted properly

This is literally the definition of oneitis

What do I do?

Cut all contact. Change the locks.

I am about to call the 'other' man

Anger and violence are beta traits. Don't risk you freedom defending the "honor" of a cheating woman

[–]Terrin0[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

You are right.

[–]Hellstruelight 6 points7 points  (0 children)

date a handful of other girls and you'll be surprised how quickly you bounce back my friend.

[–]rurpe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It will be rough for a while. This will pass and you will find someone who respects you.

[–]Gawernator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

http://www.the-alpha-lounge.com/oneitisex-gfs.html

Eh, you can be with one woman and not have oneitis. It's a mindset.

[–]Johnny10toes 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Chapter is done. Cards were dealt and the hand was played. It's over now so write the next chapter, and deal the next hand.

I'd get some boxes and pack up all her shit. Don't destroy anything or act out, just pack it.

When she gets back in town tell her to pick it up. Have a good friend be there, maybe even be out when she gets there. Just don't fall for the "I'm sorry boohoo" bit because she's not sorry she did it, she's sorry she got caught.

[–]1Danedina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This this this! You are going to be tested, my friend. Pack up her shit, give her a window of time to come pick it up, and be a stoic statue when she comes to pick it up. Whatever she tries, you don't take the bait. Don't get mad, don't get sappy, don't take one for the road, don't promise to stay friends.

What I suggest you do in the meantime is make some big plans. Something cool for you, like a huge trip to Europe, preferably Poland, Hungary, and Ukraine, where you will be SHOCKED by how many hot chicks are twirling their hair at you. Look forward, your life begins now!

[–]bertmaklinFBI 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can't stress enough how awesome you have it right now.

You are 29 years old. You should have money, established career, nice shit. You are about to be flooded with more pussy then you are going to know what to do with. Hit the gym (or continue), focus on your career, and you will be good to go. Seriously, being 30 years old in single is a god send. You are now in the position of power. This chick did you a HUGE favor.

Work/Gym/Tinder/OKC/POF(and women you encounter in the wild). Schedule dates during the week. Weekends are for your friends and finding new women.

The one thing I will suggest is to reflect on your relationship and see where you dropped the ball and how you can improve the next go around if you so choose.

[–]Endorsed Contributortepper2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Me and my gf have been living together for the last five of nine years, she is the only woman I have ever slept with and no I do not have oneitis

Sure, pal.

I am about to call the 'other' man and threaten his life

It's not his fault your girlfriend is a whore.

I train in amateur MMA as a result of my time on TRP and I am not bad, so my threat will not be empty.

You're a massive pussy with shitty self esteem. Again, he did nothing wrong. All he did was prove to you that your LTR wasn't worth your time. In fact, you should buy him a steak dinner for doing you a favor.

Kick her out, no contact. She doesn't respect you because you don't respect yourself. You have a long way to go.

[–]FrameWalker 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The coldest thing you can do is pack up her stuff leave it outside your door change your locks, and go no contact. It's the only thing that will leave a mark on her psyche.

Calling Chad will do nothing. Odds are she's cheated before

[–]Gawernator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Depending on your state that is very illegal FYI. In CA you could face thousands of dollars in fines and legal fees for that. Plus the police would force you to let her move back in, unlawful eviction. Food for thought

[–]recon_johnny 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Son, if you have taken any of the lessons of this sub to heart, take these:

1) Pain in inevitable. And necessary.

2) Get over it. No, is not easy. Yes, it hurts. This is life. Consider it a lesson you will never forget.

3) I'm skeptical about the story. You put software on her phone for a reason. This is not someone you think you can spend your life with.

4) NEXT her. No resolution. No final call, no final fuck, no anything. Do not call her, do not talk with her, do not interact at all ever. I'm sure you already have. Stop immediately. It's what she wants, and why are you giving her anything? She deserves jack shit, so do that.

5) Don't call any other man. She was never yours, she was only your turn. Now she is someone else's.

6) You were cheated on, and for some time. Learn why certain behaviors cause this more often than not. Learn to recognize (talking, observation) and stay away from women you considering to move up to LTRs.

7) You're the prize. Start acting like it.

8) Lift. Use your pain.

9) Any man over 30 has been through pain. Either from cheating bitches, deaths, whatever. You will have pain in your life again.

10) You got a long way to go kid. You haven't even hit your stride yet. When you're 35, knocking the pussy, then you can look back and see how lucky you were.

There's more, but you get the idea now.

In the end you will be fine. Just not in the short term--but this is not a short term lifestyle. It's the long play. Stay committed.

EDIT: formatting

[–]stolidfact 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was your turn for a while. That turn ended. Do not use your emotions so they lord over you, but you lord over them. Use them to get what you really want. And what you think you want is her, the version of her you believed in your mind, not the version of her that she is. She is a slut. So either cut her loose and act in a way so you make the best of this, or figure out some way to be together and accept who she is. Beyond the her you want is the reality that you want yourself more.

[–]halfunplugged 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Take a deep breath, meditate, maybe hit the gym (MMA would be nice to hit something, yes?). I've been through something very similar to you and I can tell you the first 24 hours are absolute hell, emotional shock and awe. You have to make it through to a calmer mindset and re-eval what your next move is.

What is your lease/housing situation? Both on the lease, your house, her house? You need to cut this bitch out of your life ASAP. all contact, all connections, all her shit in your place. Spend the next couple days while she's in Martha's Vineyard (still fucking that guy btw and now without remorse since she's already been found out) to find a new place for yourself or a new place for all her shit.

Godspeed. You've got a community here

[–]Terrin0[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I will need lots of help in the coming months, thank you.

[–]halfunplugged 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You and I are both 29. Trust me when I say /u/abdada is right that we are entering our peak as men. Adhere to the principles you already know you'll be in a great spot. Last December my four year relationship ended. I rushed into a new four month relationship in February and totally blue pilled the shit out of that one, now been swallowing since June. Take a look at some of my latest posts for some reassurance that it'll all be okay

[–]awalt_cupcake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can conform. His comments reak of masculine knowledge.

[–]11NV0K3R 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do not have oneitis proceeds to explain how he has oneitis

You realize, that by the very definition of the word, if you didn't, you wouldn't have written this post, you wouldn't want to wish violence on the man, and you would already have nexted and gone on to the next woman.

Always remember, she is never yours, it is simply your turn.

[–]thor_away92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone covered all the advice needed to be given. With the exception of one piece; don't be too hard on yourself during grieving. You are only human and are still in the process of unplugging. You're gonna miss her, you're going to be sad, you're going to be nostalgic and you will get angry. You can't expect yourself to just look the other way instantly after a decade. Again, you are human.

Obviously don't throw yourself a pity party but let those emotions flow through you and out of you. If you're feeling blue and need to express emotions write that shit down, read it, then burn it. Or PM me and vent away (I don't offer this to just anyone).

My advice for the next couple of weeks is actually opposite. Everyone seems to recommend going full bore with TRP shit. By all means improve yourself but take it easy. Be gentle, take your time. Fuck it, spoil yourself and go to your favorite burger joint.

You know what needs to be done and go from here instinctively.

I am empathetic to your agony. Take today and go enjoy the sunshine, catch some fresh air and just let your mind wander where it's going to today.

Today is rest day.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, I was with my ex-wife for 9 years total. Its hard getting over it. We have a son together. Everything is going fine then all a sudden I'm fighting back sobs as I eat my oatmeal. My brother posits that its all chemical. Your body starts going through withdrawal when all the happy hormones and neurotransmitters that come from being in a relationship go away. That perspective helps intellectually.

Pro-tip- next time you fuck someone else you can't fuck down. No old chicks, no fatties. I'm 33. The tinderslut I banged was 39. Her pics all looked decent but in person not so much. Sex was terrible and I felt worse because of it. Like, terrible.

Next chick was a size 3 and blew me like I was a king. My morale improved greatly.

Your going to get out there. Don't start running game right away. Go Monk Mode for a while.... 2-3 months at least. Get through your withdrawal. Get used to the new normal. Your dates are going to want to know about your last ex. dont talk. be firm that its not fun first date talk. If you get stuck talking about your ex they will not come back. Maintain frame.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First off, that sucks. A decade down the drain is hard to stomach. Sorry to hear about it.

You need to recognize that it's well and truly over with her. There's no unringing the bell. She'll likely want to try to repair things between you two, but recognize that the girl that you spent the last decade with is gone. She doesn't respect you, nor does she feel attraction to you, otherwise she wouldn't be hopping on someone else's dick.

Once you accept that there is only one reality, and that's that you're now single, you can move forward. Tidy up any leftovers between you two and initiate no contact. Focus on yourself, there's no way you'll be in the mindset to deal with women for the next little while. Do things that genuinely bring you happiness. Travel, or develop a hobby that you never had time for.

The lucky thing for you is that you're still young. You're well before your peak SMV years. Once you're ready to get back in the game you'll be well positioned to find a quality mate.

[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why most of us are here my friend. Chad is everywhere. AWALT

Chances are she doesn't even think she's in the wrong. She was just "exploring" her options.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cut all ties, sever all loses. Don't do anything you might regret later. Calm, cool and calculated actions only. I know 9 years is a long time, but fuck dude. She's not one in a million, she is one of a million.

[–]CD_Johanna 1 point2 points  (1 child)

[–]AskTRP Endorsed Contributorbicepsblastingstud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never say that anything has been taken from me; only that I have given it back.

-Epicurus

[–]penguin_says_slide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You aware of cold approaching?

[–]_eskimo_brothers_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's over, have her stuff packed and ready to be taken. It would be better for you to perhaps have an impartial third party pick stuff up for her. Or say it will be out at X time, she won't be allowed in. Make sure all of her shit is included, do not harm any of her stuff. Think about this, you could have married this girl and she could have divorced you and taken your kids. You dodged a bullet. It's time to destroy your previous self that wasn't confident and that was scared. You have the tools to be your best, it's time.

n4gss is correct.

"DO NOT CALL THIS GUY!!! You simply pack her shit and send her on her way. Do not call, do not answer calls, do not text and do not answer texts. Do not drink yourself into a stupor. Take this at face value. She has moved on, you will move on as well. Fuck her, it is over."


MENTAL/SOCIAL:

Say this to yourself and believe it. "She was never yours, it was just your turn." You're clearly angry and you should be, but don't let that anger become a bad or many bad decisions. She's now a ghost or a past chapter in your life, never go back. She cheated and if you ever let her back that means you have no respect for your self. So you're done with her. You do have oneitis, most of us have been there, you need to accept that you did, but you won't anymore. All Women Are Like That. But don't give them a reason to disrespect you ever again. Be the leader, if they fade away, their loss. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. You control your life.

Talk with your bros, I mean that in the positive context. Only if they can be trusted but don't gossip or live in the past. Let them help you move forward. With your closest friends who keep their mouth shut about personal business. Your only true confidant should be a small circle of male friends that respect you and you respect them. It's not easy to form this sort of circle with "friends" out of your normal social circle, sadly it takes someone with RP thinking or morals to truly be a good bro. That does not mean open up about RP to your friends. Do not let anyone villify you. Be stoic, be strong, and be confident.

PHYSICAL/CUT BAD HABITS:

Lift and eat right. Get exercise and plenty of sleep. Don't drink in excess, make your body into what you want. Set goals, then set new goals after you surpass them.

At work, be irreplaceable. Always be aiming to that next level. Your boss seems understanding, but kick ass. After your short break, tell him you're good and show him with actual actions that you're a better man now.

EXPLORE NEW THINGS/ BE SOCIAL WITH NEW PEOPLE

Be social, get more hobbies you truly enjoy. Cultivate new awesome experiences. Passion leads to fun times. Build your new life into something you truly enjoy on the side. A woman should not make you happy, they are the byproduct of a happy life. They will come and go. Do not sacrifice sleep, nutrition, exercise or work for women. Read the sidebar, read books, approach strangers just to talk. In no time at all you'll see mistakes you made, but this sub is about bettering yourself. BUT, we can't do it for you. You are a man, you must do it yourself.

[–]McLarenX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DO NOT GET A CRIMINAL RECORD OVER THIS!!!

[–]Gawernator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't call, that's juvenile, won't go anywhere good. Move on forward, meet other women. Relearn the joys of any of your hobbies or pastimes you have neglected.

BTW, trickle truth!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take 800mg of "Man the fuck up", hit the gym, call the boys, go to strip club, get fattest ass bitch to give you a lap dance. And then call me in the morning.

[–]poochman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a million girls hotter and better then her that are waiting to be fucked by you.

[–]ItIsMyPrivilege 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo bro you are drunk.

Don't do ANYTHING right now. Sober up.

Then think and act. There are many here that will have a solid gameplan in the coming hours, I don't have enough experience but all I can say is don't do anything stupid right in this moment.

Do you rent or did you buy? Who's names are on the contract? (living situation)

You need to look to get rid of her. She has proven her lack of worth (alcoholic genetics, shit relationship with father, cheating while away and then testing you to see how you would react)

You need to separate her from your life. If you have taken the redpill, you will know that AWALT and you need to press on.

[–]The_BeardedGentleman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find a friend, hit the bars together, slay pussy together.

Forget chad, he doesn't fucking matter. It could have been any asshole, it just happend to be that asshole. He didn't do anything wrong, she did. Better yet, why don't you go be that asshole. Live a bit. Then call that guy up and thank him when you're done.

[–]MiguelForte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do NOT take her back!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP I know what are you feeling! I've been in the same place 10 months ago. I've been dumped by my ex of 9 years. The pain was unbearable. I even had a panic attack. Embrace the red pill - it works. Self-improvement all the way!! Before it gets better it'll get worse. If you're walking through hell keep walking.

Two days ago I saw my ex with her new boyfriend in a party. The look on her face when she saw me completed different was priceless. I'm more good looking, more confident, and more happy. I danced and chatted with a lot of girls that night, I even make out with a hot babe in front of her. Her mouth was wide open...Some people even commented that she downgraded (10 months ago they wouldn't said that). It was a lot of hard work! I still have a lot to improve but I'm happy with the results.

Ignore her and her new chad. Don't give her the satisfaction. Indifference and you being happy is the best revenge.

[–]daveofmars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's okay to feel like shit for a while. It's normal, but don't go overboard with vindictiveness. Understand that while both of them are at fault, your woman is yours and that's where your jurisdiction should end. Chad Thundercock might have ruined your relationship today, but you may find yourself as Chad tomorrow. Try not to compromise your moral compass here. I know it sucks.

What I would do: pull the plug. Don't talk to her anymore. Your life with her is over. When she gets home the apartment should be half-empty.

This will be really painful for you right now but the good news is that with enough time this will all be a memory. There are plenty of other girls out there.

And wtf is this about pounding half a bottle of jack? I understand the impulse but does it ever actually help?

[–]waynebradysworld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Play big Sean - i don't fuk wit you

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is not on the wrong, he is chad.

You are not on the wrong but neither are you a billy. Shit happens man.

She is on the wrong, but awalt and well, she is doing her thing.

Thank the dude for letting her be a lying bitch before you had kids, cut contact with her, dont provide her closure, and learn from the situation.

Exercise harder, get a nice hobby where you can fully commit mentally, keep going to work, and fight to improve yourself.

Dont go to jail just for being angry. You deserve better

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is not on the wrong, he is chad.

You are not on the wrong but neither are you a billy. Shit happens man.

She is on the wrong, but awalt and well, she is doing her thing.

Thank the dude for letting her be a lying bitch before you had kids, cut contact with her, dont provide her closure, and learn from the situation.

Exercise harder, get a nice hobby where you can fully commit mentally, keep going to work, and fight to improve yourself.

Dont go to jail just for being angry. You deserve better

[–]PlaneHijacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am about to call the 'other' man and threaten his life because phone calls cannot be legally recorded, only text messages.

Man, what will that achieve? You know what else isn't legal? Threatening a man's life. In some states you only need one side of permission (so, him) to record a convo.

I mean this will either end in two ways, he has some sort of fucking sense and also breaks it off with her because he's seen first hand what she's done (or uses her as a plate) or he'll be some type of BB provider. Either way you're satisfied from the sidelines.

Be mature about this, don't let your emotions over take your actions. You could kick his ass, get charged, sent to prison and get YOUR ass kicked after. Even if you're not sent to prison, if he presses charges, well good luck ever getting a job again.

After something like this happens you're supposed to pull yourself up and be a better you. I get it, some people deal with shit like this by binging on junk food and netflix. That'll slow them down for a few weeks but eventually (and, hopefully) they realize they could use this as a chance to improve their lives. However, instead of doing that (which, you shouldn't) you're going to kick some guys ass and instead of being down for a few weeks you'll be down for the rest of your life with that charge.

I'm not telling you to drown away your sorrow in a tub of icecream, christ no, I'm just telling you that you can deal with this in a way that pushes you forward, not shoves you backwards.

[–]White_Phillip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey dude, going through literally the same thing right now. Ex just moved her shit out. Five year relationship ended when she cheated on me (she said she only made out, ha) while on study abroad in Germany. I wasn't ridiculously beta and always a bit of a realist with women, always subconsciously knew a lot of RP truths (like a girl who travels without you will cheat, apparently. AWALT) but was too much of a pussy to act on them. I lost 45 lbs and gained some muscle recently, but I was so far from my potential in every area of life.

What I'm doing now is using this to better myself. I used to sit at home after work and play video games or watch movies while drinking. I had few friends and even fewer close ones. My life was going nowhere. The break up was like an explosion of pent up potential energy. Now I'm learning French, hitting the gym, drawing, reading, changed up my style, am applying to better jobs, devouring RP knowledge, and have a budding social group I go out with. I approach women and crash and burn more frequently than I succeed, but at least now I have it in me to see myself worthy of trying in the first place.

Life is always changing, it is practically what life is. If you hold on to what you expected life to be forever you will get thrown and spun like a man desperately hanging onto a telephone pole in a tornado. Embrace change and use it to your advantage. You learned something from this, you are not the man you thought you were and she wasn't the woman you thought she was. You can wallow in it or be motivated. I still am very lost in my path, but at least I see the ground beneath me and know to move forward. Take your eyes off the sky, begging God for answers, and look down at your own feet and see your path.

[–]Freddy_Fedora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay so most of the people posting probably haven't had a relationship last more than 6 months.

Breaking up after 9 years is a lot worse than breaking up after 6 months. You're not just saying goodbye to an easy-access vagina. You're saying goodbye to a life partner and probably your best friend. Obviously it's not a good idea to be best friends with a women because they're prone to fucking you over for their own gain, but it happened.

Most importantly you're saying goodbye to the last 9 years of your life, forever looking back on those times with a bitter taste in your mouth. It's not as simple as "Fuck that bitch, AWALT, move onto the next one".

9 years.. it's not one of those things you can shake off. Get through it anyway you can but the rules you do follow should be.

1) NEVER CONTACT HER. Delete everything about her you have, and don't bother "giving her stuff back" just throw it out. You will have days where you miss her and she'd be willing to come see you but it will never be the same. She fucked up and she's lost you. If she still wants to be with you she will try to force herself back in your life.

2) Stay away from alchohol and drugs - that's a slippery slope.

She fucked up, it wasn't an accident, it wasn't a mistake. She planned this, she planned to fuck him and made sure it happened despite the consequences. She is a bad person. She then lied about it hoping that she could get away with it. She is a terrible person. This is no reflection of you OP, this women is cunt.

Just take solice in the fact that in 5 years from now you will have another girl as good if not better than her, and she will be grasping from betas as she slams into the wall.. always regretting the decision to cheat on you.

[–]cascadecombo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

9 years... Nine fucking years.

Ok cool.

To be honest she has massive daddy issues that I always used to my advantage, being older by 4 years and initiating our relationship when she was 17 and I was 21. Now shes 25 and I'm 29 and I suppose I have faltered.

If you can do it, so can someone else.

My best friend and confidant

You need a real best friend.

I am about to call the 'other' man and threaten his life because phone calls cannot be legally recorded

So, do you want to be a retard or are you just entertaining the thought?

The urge is strong, and I train in amateur MMA as a result of my time on TRP and I am not bad, so my threat will not be empty.

Woah, tough guy here! Look out. Maybe you'll use one of them fancy smancy go to sleep holdermajigs.


You have time off, get her shit out of your house, change the locks take a cruise.

Personally I say go to a foreign country and party for a few days and come back. You'll forget all about her.

[–]workdavework 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]AlphaAccountant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best friend and confidant, my partner in life has betrayed me. I am lost at sea without a paddle. What do I do?

Grow a pair of balls. Cut all contact. The bitch is dead to you. Go out and fuck other women. Never invest yourself to the point where a cheating women will affect you because AWALT. You don't own them, it's just your turn. Have an awesome life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its going to be a long painful process to get over her. But its time to let her go.

[–]king_of_red_alphas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there man. As many of us have on TRP. Be very glad you have TRP to help you. I didn't. My 5 year relationship ended when a "work friend" orbited long enough until she got curious enough to want a taste. 5 years down the drain right there. But much worse was that I went in to a massive beta tailspin after that. Yes, trying to "confront" and "fight" this guy. Sobbing to all my and her friends how badly she betrayed me. Basically feeling like a lost cause for another 5 years.

I can honestly say that if I had TRP back then, those years would have been MONTHS.

Now I am making up for lost time but man I wish I had what you have access to when my LTR cheated.

[–]RememberingAlpha -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I feel your pain. My LTR ended when I saw sexts between her and Chad to the extent of "wrap my legs around your neck again and make you cum so good" etc. Shit will haunt me until the day I fucking die.

[–]_eskimo_brothers_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Forget that shit, make girls say this to you and you'll forget some past ex. Be the man, be the tingle maker.

[–]rurpe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shit will haunt me until the day I fucking die.

Don't die a bitter old man

[–]unregistered_voter -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Call him. He was a confidant in breaking something you worked towards for 9 years. You are moving to new territory now, but don't let this guy come in and claim what was yours. Shoot a few (verbal) shots, and don't end up in jail. Embrace the rage, you'll feel better in the end.