Mid 30s and single. Have been involved with lots of women in my life, lots of meaningless and enjoyable flings, and a few serious relationships.
I used to enjoy flirting, chasing women, finding/making connections, seducing them and moving on. Maybe giving them a chance if I was looking for company for a month or two. Carefree and well-maintained with the odd curveball thrown at me which kept things interesting. I now understand they were shit-tests. All those "crazy, exciting girls" that were blowing up my life with wild sex and irrational behavior were actually being tedious and calculating.
Now all I see when interacting with girls is shit-tests, veiled hypergamy and the standard tactics they use to cover their tracks and rationalize away responsibility. It just isn't even enjoyable spending time with women anymore. I don't know quite why I find this behavior so ugly and contemptible, but it just repels me. I hear girls gleefully describing their justifications, their plans, and all the other details of their sloppily-ran, over-entitled, sex lives... And I just want to walk away.
The wild, fantastic uncertainty of my youth seems like a distant memory. Now that I see all the moves, it's like looking behind the curtain at a magic show. I can't even summon the energy to be around them. The worst is watching how spoilt they are, or how eager they are to take advantage of other guys. When they try it with me, I stay firm. But I just lose respect and with it, all attraction.
I am still fucking a couple of girls and of course keeping my behavior within a solid alpha frame that gives me easy access. I don't have ANY respect for the girls I'm fucking though. Tbh, I don't even see it's worth it anymore. I'm not looking to breed.
Anybody experienced similar disillusionment?