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No longer interested in connecting with women after exposure to TRP truths. (self.asktrp)

submitted by 2oubledose

Mid 30s and single. Have been involved with lots of women in my life, lots of meaningless and enjoyable flings, and a few serious relationships.

I used to enjoy flirting, chasing women, finding/making connections, seducing them and moving on. Maybe giving them a chance if I was looking for company for a month or two. Carefree and well-maintained with the odd curveball thrown at me which kept things interesting. I now understand they were shit-tests. All those "crazy, exciting girls" that were blowing up my life with wild sex and irrational behavior were actually being tedious and calculating.

Now all I see when interacting with girls is shit-tests, veiled hypergamy and the standard tactics they use to cover their tracks and rationalize away responsibility. It just isn't even enjoyable spending time with women anymore. I don't know quite why I find this behavior so ugly and contemptible, but it just repels me. I hear girls gleefully describing their justifications, their plans, and all the other details of their sloppily-ran, over-entitled, sex lives... And I just want to walk away.

The wild, fantastic uncertainty of my youth seems like a distant memory. Now that I see all the moves, it's like looking behind the curtain at a magic show. I can't even summon the energy to be around them. The worst is watching how spoilt they are, or how eager they are to take advantage of other guys. When they try it with me, I stay firm. But I just lose respect and with it, all attraction.

I am still fucking a couple of girls and of course keeping my behavior within a solid alpha frame that gives me easy access. I don't have ANY respect for the girls I'm fucking though. Tbh, I don't even see it's worth it anymore. I'm not looking to breed.

Anybody experienced similar disillusionment?


[–]pbgswd 20 points21 points  (4 children)

the stupid shit that women pull, yeah, I just want to get on with my personal goals. I am nothing if I dont accomplish those things first.

[–]2oubledose[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Very good point. Though my goals used to include some small degree of romantic love, companionship, mating, etc. Now that's gone, I still have others. But I have to admit life seems emptier. I've always bought into the idea that it's our love for pussy that drives us to write symphonies and fly missions to the moon.

In the face of this new disenchantment, not really sure what I've been working so hard for. These spoilt losers??

[–]pbgswd 1 point2 points  (2 children)

so you make it part of your new criteria, find a woman that is not spoiled. Make it your deal breaker. You must have that or its a no-go, anything else is negotiable. And if they start to act spoiled, then you dump them.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]pbgswd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    So what if she has had 30+ partners? People on this sub look down on the number of partners a woman has had. I am older now and I see more as a plus, but that is just me. I would caution against slut shaming.

    You need to ask yourself, what is the most important thing that you want? Does she present herself like a person who has solid character and integrity and not a spoiled bitch? That is your deal breaker. The other stuff should be negotiable.

    [–]plasticslug 8 points9 points  (5 children)

    Its extremely disheartening after you start to see the truths. Everything is contrived, fake, and bullshit with women. From the first move they making putting on their makeup to the last flirty text they send at night, it really all is bullshit.

    In my naivety, I have been so incredibly taken advantage of, every move/interaction I have had with women were the result of some cold, calculating, manipulative maneuver. Maybe for homework/study help, getting out of their marriage, trying to trap me with a kid, it just has never ended. From the times I thought I was empowered, it was just some bitch playing games, or to make someone else jealous.

    Even just the thought of fucking dealing with a shit test makes me pissed. I dont know how long this will last, but this place has shown me to respect myself, and is one hell of a start.

    [–]getRedPill 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    shit tests

    I question the fact why is it me (or any valuable men) the one has to deal and pass shit tests. I'm the prize I'm the one bringing value to the relationship (money, energy, time, not freaking out emotionally), while you standing there doing nothing and judhing. I flip this, YOU prove me you are worthy of my resources.

    [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Preach.

    [–]throwawaycomedian95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Show you're unaffected by shit-tests so the fact you're prize has value, and continue to start shit-testing her then.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]getRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      To some extend, yes, it is biological. Just the tip of the iceberg. Everything else is made up, socially and culturally. For example, the feminist laws that criminalize men have nothing to with a biological imperative. The constant speech and atmosphere presenting all men as dangerous in media? Sorry, no. Saying it's biologically driven is a cynical and opportunist excuse.

      [–]Tiway22 7 points8 points  (11 children)

      Same here man... Would love to hear others thoughts on the matter

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]cynicalprick01 2 points3 points  (5 children)

        who said he feels upset?

        he said that he values them less now than he did before.

        for all you know, this is because he can get girls easier now and we all know lack of scarcity drives market values down.

        so please argue on topic. you literally didnt respond to anything he said and just made a straw man to argue against.

        this post reeked of humble-brag

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]cynicalprick01 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          I get that you think that getting away from TRP for a bit is the solution, I feel as though this completely sidesteps the question OP is actually asking.

          OP is not asking for a solution, but is interested in getting a dialogue going regarding his disillusionment.

          as such, you trying to change him back is a bit arrogant, as if your way is the best option and everyone should want to be like it. You didnt even acknowledge MGTOW as an option.

          I dont usually try to give people advice unless they ask for it.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]cynicalprick01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias wherein relatively unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their ability to be much higher than is accurate. Dunning and Kruger attributed this bias to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their own ineptitude and evaluate their own ability accurately. Their research also suggests that conversely, highly skilled individuals may underestimate their relative competence, erroneously assuming that tasks which are easy for them also are easy for others.[1] The bias was first experimentally observed by David Dunning and Justin Kruger of Cornell University in 1999.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

            I hope this link helps you a bit. it explained a lot about mine and other's perceptions of competency.

            for me, what helped me realize my way isnt the best way is the realization that good and bad, right and wrong, are purely subjective, or based on opinion.

            there is no ultimate right or wrong, good or bad.

            my version of what is right and good is completely different from yours and based on most likely completely different factors.

            so, I just dont use good and bad, right and wrong anymore. they are useless descriptors in my book.

            instead, I use healthy and unhealthy, which can usually be obtained with objective measures.

            so, going mgtow vs being chad isnt good or bad. measurement of health dont state which one is healthier, so I dont feel any reason to tell people to do one or the other.

            but, if something were unhealthy, I probably would tell someone I cared about. not because my way (healthy way) is the best way, but because 99.9% of people want to be healthy too. so, it would be seen as help, rather than imposing one's view on others.

            I dunno, i hope this helped.

            [–]getRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Reddit's manosphere (which ISNT same as worldwide manosphere) is slowly turning down into the boyosphere

            [–]getRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            "I hate feminism" shitposts, which makes up the rest of the subreddit.

            Don't you ever try to point that simple, observable, at everyone's sight fact because everyone gets offended there and you will be merciless downvoted (oh downvote clicks so hurtful)

            [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Seems to be the consensus. Gotta admit though, pussy used to make me really happy.

            [–]RXRob 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I'm in the same boat.

            But it's liberating to be happy being completely single.

            [–]Wonderbret 4 points5 points  (2 children)

            Hey guys, i felt the same for a good amount of time. What changed it for me was forcing my self to get to know NEW girls. For me especially, i changed my self after i broke up with my last girlfriend. When I more or less changed from letting girls step on me to holding my frame, i got a negative response from the girls. Thats expected, i mean their beta bitch is gone. Once i started meeting new girls and they had no understanding of my previous beta self, i started developing good connections with girls again, but these connections were in a better light.

            Initially the girls that had known me before were rebellious to this change, but i stopped giving them attention for their negative behavior towards me and things too began to turn around with them.

            You have to remember life isn't full of instantaneous gratification. Your not always going to get positive girl behavior when you want it. But if you stand tall, hold your frame and remain that like-able guy you are, i promise within a month or so things will come around. Keep working on yourself, people are attracted to that. Read, lift, and do your work.

            EDIT: I read your post again and wanted to add some more points.

            -maybe your not meeting the right girls... Try developing new habbits or finding events to go to with interesting girls.

            -it sounds like the basic concept of female hypergamy and shit testing how strong a man is is unattractive for you. You need to grow comfortable with that concept. Not all girls are like that...AWALT. But its instincts man. Understand that instinctually your job is the provider, the bodyguard.

            -Dont try to find contempt and validation in other people, especially females. Spend more time with guys, grow more confident in yourself, spend more time on yourself.

            Hope this helps

            [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Thanks very much - some good insights.

            "Interesting girls" caught my attention. I have been seeking that, but eventually no matter how cool they are when they start off, they always lob a dull test my direction. It awakens disgust in me. I guess controlling your emotions can be difficult, but I will have to accept this new reality.

            I am reading, lifting and doing my work. I like working on my self, and get more out of it than I did pre-RP. I am also learning the value of bonding with other guys. But it is an emptier life to me, right now.

            There doesn't seem any possibility of love in my future anymore. That is a pretty sad thought to confront.

            [–]Wonderbret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Hey man sorry for the late reply, im sorry to heary you feel that way. It seems like shit tests are getting to you? You should see them as more playful, like a game. I mean nothing really works for everyone, but thats something that works for me.

            I think you just need to keep meeting new girls. Do you have a plate yet? Maybe that will help your perspective. My first plate was a real drag in the sense i really didnt see many good qualities, not super fun to be around, but after a while i began to enjoy her company. For short periods of time :P. Stay optimistic man. A book that helped me was No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Great book, gives you a change of perspectives. Keep up the good work man, keep meeting new girls.

            Hey man wanted to add one last thing. Try to have fun with your life. Appreciate and enjoy the things you do and people you talk to. Seek conversations you enjoy and don't focus on the negative aspects of people rather the positive. Your glass is half full. Its all about how you look at it.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Happens to me, instant turn off, at this point I think every time I see women pull their tricks on guys it lowers more and more my desire of an LTR/marriage, because low count women are shit at sex and I don't have neither the time or the will to mold them, and high count women eventually turn me off as they without a doubt, have abused their bullshit lots of times.

            Still I enjoy sex and I think eventually I'll go for an LTR just for the amusement of experiencing one, but yeah I know that feeling.

            [–]RPmatrix 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            bro, I completely know where you're coming from

            I almost could've written this post myself. i.e.

            Have been involved with lots of women in my life, lots of meaningless and enjoyable flings, and a few serious relationships.

            Describes my life pretty well, but the thing I've noticed develop over the last 15yrs or so is;

            how spoilt they are, or how eager they are to take advantage of other guys.

            It seems a generation of BB fathers has raised a generation of entitled twats, and yes,

            I don't have ANY respect for the girls I'm fucking though. Tbh, I don't even see it's worth it anymore. I'm not looking to breed.

            I've never wanted to have kids, except when I've gone all beta and am looking for an 'easy out' ... fortunately these events are short lived!

            Anybody experienced similar disillusionment?

            Yes, sadly.

            One thing that is really beginning to get to me, is the new found female arrogance in the workplace! These entitled bitches are unable to stay professional and when called on it, will bring up a myriad of irrelevant factors that are more suited to the pub the the workplace!

            There are some women who I see from time to time and have NO intention of hitting on seem to have a 'thing' for me, and so they shit test me in professional enviroments!

            I'm a naturally friendly person and tend to enjoy making people smile, and I guess my behavior could be seen as 'flirtatious' BUT due to the enviroment, (work) I would imagine most 'normal people' would see it as just a bit of harmless fun, but it's beginning to get way out of hand

            If I'm being my friendly self, they think I'm hitting on them, and If I don't hit on them, they get offended coz, they think I should be!, especially if I am flirting with one of their colleagues!

            Jealous females are the worst cock blockers of them all!

            I feel sorry for the young betafied guys out there trying to figure all this madness out!

            Praise be for TRP!

            [–]cheeky_throwaway101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Yep, since my last LTR every girl I meet seems to be a vacuous narcissist, with literally nothing to offer. Their job title of "HR manager," "recruitment consultant," or whatever other soft skill based job is all they have to be proud of and they are all just basic bitch, carbon copies of each other.

            [–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Can't be mad at a fish for swimming can you? If you have no desire to be involved with them take a look at MGTOW

            [–]cynicalprick01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            why is everyone that criticizes OP assuming that he is upset or mad.

            literally nothing in his post stated that.

            [–]frequentlywrong 3 points4 points  (4 children)

            Anybody experienced similar disillusionment?

            No because that is the way it should be. If you look at it from an evolutionary stand point, their behavior is completely natural. It is the driving force behind our species. There are two sides to evolution, natural selection and sexual selection. I can't see anyone who studied evolution before finding TRP getting upset. It all fits together.

            Your disillusionment is a result of buying into lies that society tells you. It is a result of your naivete. Time to grow up. There is a red pill to almost every important aspect of society. Gender relations, economics, politics, etc.

            Personally I found TRP to be liberating. A breath of fresh air.

            [–]cynicalprick01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            why is everyone criticizing op for being "upset"?

            he never stated that or implied it.

            Your disillusionment is a result of buying into lies that society tells you. It is a result of your naivete. Time to grow up. There is a red pill to almost every important aspect of society. Gender relations, economics, politics, etc.

            you are all over the place here. I dont really know what you are getting at.

            Personally I found TRP to be liberating. A breath of fresh air.

            maybe OP did too. regardless, this is off topic and just reeks of humble-brag

            [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Right. I'm not rejecting the ideas. Just recalibrating my outlook. I used to get a lot of pleasure from chasing and slaying some good ol' trim. Even some self-worth was connected to it. Not all but some. I think that's healthy.

            Evolution doesn't necessarily work better when everyone involved is aware of the mechanism... Does it?

            Serious question : How do you experience joy, through this lens of cynicism?

            [–]frequentlywrong 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Evolution doesn't necessarily work better when everyone involved is aware of the mechanism... Does it?

            Sorry I don't follow.

            Serious question : How do you experience joy, through this lens of cynicism?

            Joy comes from within. A partner is someone to spend time and have fun with. Not rely upon to provide happiness.

            [–]2oubledose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Joy comes from within. A partner is someone to spend time and have fun with. Not rely upon to provide happiness.

            I can find contentment and self-love within myself. But I get true joy from sharing experiences with others. To be honest, what you're describing sounds too detached and enlightened for me. I'm naturally a very sociable animal.

            [–]Batou_Red 3 points4 points  (9 children)

            This is all part of the depression/anger phase. This one time I ate at a buffet and after I was so stuffed I never wanted to eat again. Spoilers: I ate again. Just wait and use this time for self improvement.

            [–]2oubledose[S] 11 points12 points  (8 children)

            I gotta say, man. That's a weak analogy.

            It's not that my appetite has left me because I've been gorging. I've learned how the sausage is made, and now I don't want to eat at this restaurant anymore.

            [–]Batou_Red 2 points3 points  (7 children)

            You're right, except that the hunger for sex from women is analogous to the eating of anything in general, assuming you're heterosexual.

            [–]cynicalprick01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            but in this analogy, every guy has a limitless supply of burgers in his pocket (masturbation)

            [–]2oubledose[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children)

            Right, but the whole feast is tainted in the same way.

            [–]Batou_Red 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            It is, and that's where the resentment, and the choice lies.

            [–]2oubledose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            What's the choice? Break it down past the aphoristic one-liners. I'm choosing my appetite?

            [–]JimFury 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            You'll get over it.

            [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            How? Help me out here.

            [–]redkick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            What you're experiencing is a phase many people new to TRP experience. Read up on the threads that talk about it, like this one.

            I think the next phase is acceptance, meaning that you accept that women are part of reality, and reality is shit. There's no magic happening anywhere.

            [–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The bubble has burst. Whisper talks about the five (six) stages of TRP. Just know you're not alone and that it gets better.

            [–]Fear_Up 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I hit this disillusionment too. However something positive came out of it. I gained the strength and insight to identify the women that I actually wanted around me. I started filtering for specific things as I went on date after date. I started getting picky. It was not all about looks though. I found that women who had a degree in higher education made for much better conversation. I found that women who actually liked science fiction, philosophy, and talking about sociology were my type. Granted, I do keep around the crazy sorority sluts for variety, but after the deed is done, there is not much to talk about. The ones that I let in, actually want to be around.

            We are getting older man, I'm 33 and I can tell that as we get more experienced, we get a little more bitter about the seemingly unchangeable human condition. But think of it this way, you were able to master all of this by 30, well now its time to set your sights on something much higher. Something that doesn't even have anything to do with getting laid.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            I'll answer you, though I'm only twenty so YMMV.

            Currently I'm in med school, and given that I also lift 6 days a week, I'm pretty much packed for the day. Since most of my time is spent working, I very much appreciate the time I have to "relax", and my form of relaxation involves solitude via listening to music, meditating... actual relaxation. I have to allocate around 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night specifically with the intended purpose to relax (shut myself from all digital media, work, everything, and simply live in the present moment).

            I don't think it's a dillusionment, but rather a change in mindset. TRP does a lot of things to different people, for some its like a switch that suddenly shifts their behavior, for others its a gradual process of understanding.

            For me, I think TRP simply made me realize that women, and people in general (men included), are fundamentally flawed. This is simply mankind's nature. Now I can choose to invest in other people, or I can choose to invest in myself. The choice was clear to me long before I discovered TRP, but TRP has solidified and reassured me, making my decision more certain. Knowing that nothing lasts, and that people come and go, simply makes it futile to invest in people -- instead, I try my best to just appreciate people moment by moment (i.e. if I'm interacting with someone I simply feed off the superficial banter/vibes and enjoy being my cocky/funny self, as opposed to investing in people like having too much trust in friends or expecting too much from the interaction).

            [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Interesting perspective. Sounds a little lonely. But I assume you'd say the loneliness is a reality of life, and not a choice. Maybe you're right.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Quite right. We were born alone and we all die alone. The thing that matters most is the experience we have in between -- fulfillment, happiness, enjoyment.

            Nothing lasts forever. People come and go. Friends, family, experiences don't last forever. The only thing that does last (to the extent of your own experience) is YOU.

            Loneliness is a choice. Sometimes it feels good to be somber and left alone, I find that I am most focused and productive -- everyone, everything else is secondary and a distraction (in 95% of most cases). Image studying while girls are talking to you, or squatting 3 plates while your friend is talking to you and complaining about his ex. You can't get ANYTHING done with people around.

            There's a time and place for people and social activities. Allocate time to do that sparingly, but conservatively.

            [–]redpill-visceral 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Most of them are boring as fuck. They keep talking about their lifes and think they are awesome.

            [–]2oubledose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Agree!

            [–]StinkyDiaper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Good for you. Take all the time you used to spend on women and focus on better things.