Where the women at? (self.asktrp)

submitted by AwakenedSovereign

There's a fantastic comment on the main sub right now by /u/dr_warlock emphasizing that the guys who are very successful with girls have lifestyles that put them in close proximity​ with alot of women on a regular basis.

I'm in a STEM cubicle career and I knew it wasn't helping me with women but never​ quite realized just how little exposure I get. My surface area with women is.. bars, social circle, tinder. In other words not shit.

Let's crowdsource some ideas as to how we can all make adjustments to our lives to meet more women.

Masculinity In Proximity + Mere Exposure Effect + Decent SMV/Game + High Volume of Girls = profit

On to the ideas:

Change careers or side gig something like Bartender, DJ, Waiter, Drug Dealer, etc.. meh

Volunteer work IE Animal Humane Society.. mostly women

Hobbies that involve face to face social interaction and a decent number of women. Good example is Ballroom Dancing. Another might be yoga, acro-yoga, etc.. these are doubly good because they invite close physical contact

Im sure there are alot of good ideas in your head. Share them.

Seems like we have a few categories to work with:





Night Game

Online Dating

Online Meetups / Singles events

Special Events (festivals, conventions)

[–]UniversalFapture 89 points90 points  (4 children)

Nobodies changing careers for some woman

[–]CaptainSupream 25 points26 points  (1 child)

This and why is career even mentioned when one of the tenets is "dont shit where you eat".

[–]UniversalFapture 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Like wtf man? If most folks in my CS class are dudes, then it was what it is. I'll meet women elsewhere

[–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Also not chose your hobby based on women and so forth...Fact is women are boring and that's why you rarely see them anywhere something non-boring is happening.

[–]UniversalFapture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed. If i want to play my PS4, i'll do that. I interact with them on my time.

I just set a date for friday

[–]_the_shape_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of "right" answers to this one, but fitness is an especially good one because you'll knock out a few birds with one stone, those birdies being:

1) putting your stellar physique on proud (and very visible) display (and if you don't have a body that doesn't pull an eyebrow or two to the North, get on it)

2) sharpening your already (or en-route to being) chiseled physique

3) putting you in contact with women who prioritize the well-being of their bodies

Yoga, running meetups, biking meetups etc. to name a few

[–]Forgot_Pword 14 points15 points  (9 children)

I climb and do salsa dance. The latter is an amazing venue cuz you're already engaged in touch with very attractive girls. Additionally in dance it's the guys responsibility to lead.

Another thought though: Rollo does apply the concept of a 'buffer' to things like online dating, you're putting a buffer of security between yourself and real world rejection, similarly in dance, the organized nature of it socially sanctions touching and leading a woman. It's up to you to make the next step, going for drinks after, getting a private lesson together etc.

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Agreed, I've read about buffers as well. Even an endless buffet of hotties like in dance won't save you if can't sack up and escalate.

[–]circlingldn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Invest in a hookah bar...instant access

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


    [–]meaningintragedy 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Both, many classes give both, and many parties have both.
    I personally prefer salsa as it's more dynamic, but there's definitely more kino in bachata.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)


      [–]meaningintragedy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Lol. Happened to me too when I was nofapping for few weeks. Never happened in salsa tho.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]meaningintragedy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Maybe just point your dick upward, so it's not obvious when you get a boner.

        [–]banllama 29 points30 points  (22 children)

        Church. My LTR goes to church (I don't) and I've been to several events/parties hosted by her church friends and the girl:guy ratio is 3:1 and the single guys are pretty much zero competition. Most of the girls are LTR seeking and not really into casual sex but not always.

        [–]conspirized 23 points24 points  (5 children)

        This is iffy. Maybe I just haven't been to the right churches, but being a Catholic and showing up at a Catholic church it's been damn near impossible for me to get into any of the preexisting social circles. Definitely a long-term investment if you decide to go this route, though I guess the communal benefits might be worth it.

        [–]Kommanderdude 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        Got to find one of those trendy praise and worship churches that have Saturday services and what not in addition to sunday. For instance in my area there is a church called The crossing. Or something like that. They are all about positive vibes and excepting anyone unlike traditional churches.

        [–]Kalepsis 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Accepting people means to invite them in. Excepting people means to keep them out. Just FYI.

        [–]Kommanderdude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My bad. Wrote that from my phone. Grammar mistakes happen. It's the internet lol.

        [–]1MrTheFalcon 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        Church stuff is so iffy. The women are mental, and some of the dudes are warped too.

        Ultimately, you will be fucked-over by feminized Christian doctrine. This is not dogma. This is fact. Even if you have a command of scripture, you will not dominate your woman. You will be dragged-down by scripture-super-powered-AFCs to fall into line as a servitor of your now-wife's feminine will.

        The allure is great. The female to male ratio is favorable. There are a lot of hot Christian women. It's a trap. Don't do it. Your spiritual, and emotional pegging is imminent!

        [edit: spelling]

        [–]moto101 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        This is so true. Catholic Church is changing fast to try and fit with the feminism already surrounding us. I can't even go anymore because everything they talk about outside of scripture is global warming, equality, and feminism. A lot written in the Bible is actually pretty RP, they're just changing how they talk about it to fit a narrative.

        [–]1MrTheFalcon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        They call it "cultural relevance", and I hate it. When I was Christian, I could not stand that buddy Jesus mentality. It's milktoast Christianity. I'm more "Christian" now than I ever was when I was being served pre-digested scripture, and being told to "lay down for my wife, as Christ laid down for the Church". This does not mean, "defer to your wife". I learned the hard way.

        Also, there is some great Alpha wisdom from Paul where he says basically says that you can't be an effective Christian if you're dealing with a wife because all your attention will be used dealing with her. And then he's like, okay man, if you're burning with lust, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. I'll be over here leading the Christian revolution. Paul is the classical MGTOW.

        [–]2comment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Most of the girls are LTR seeking and not really into casual sex but not always.

        My family is catholic. Seen it all my life. A ton of them are reformed sluts seeking to be treated like Virgin Mary under pressure of their family or biological clock. Christianity started with an obvious example of cuckdom so it's not surprise.

        [–]batfish55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Was chatting with a religious guy (I'm a total atheist) about this exact thing, asked him, "But, if I'm only there because 'religious girls have a rep for not being total sluts', and totally not religious, wouldn't the girl bolt when she found out?"

        He replied, "What makes you think the girls aren't there because 'a guy you meet in church will treat you better'?"

        Still gotta try this....

        [–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Left field but that makes alot of sense. Not one I would've thought of.

        [–]alphabachelor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Religion does not equal female virtue.

        The Catholic school I went to dropped skirts from the girls uniform’s because they all were wearing them like sluts.

        Depend on your judgement, wisdom and slut tells to vet. Never assume.

        [–]2comment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Catholic girls drop skirts way fast than any school can.

        [–]Appleseed12333 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        How many church going women hold out for marriage?

        [–]batfish55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Surprise! I'm a dude, I'm subscribed to /gonewild. At least once a month, a post flies by my newsfeed titled something like, "Just one quick selfie before church", or "no one would ever suspect I'm the preacher's daughter!"


        [–]jay_jay_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Church is where whores go to change their ways after they've been pumped and dumped so many times that they lost count. The girls there are seeking beta providers for an LTR, where better to find them than the good church boys who know little of the ways of the world.

        [–]Skipperflipper123 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        off topic: banllama: what kind of meditation did you do a year ago where you wrote about feeling emotions again on nofap?

        [–]banllama 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        The kind of meditation that was described in Mindfullness in Plain English. Book written by a buddhist monk that goes into great detail about their style of meditation, without letting the religious aspect overshadow it.

        Funny enough, it really wasn't anything to do with nofap looking back at it now.

        [–]Skipperflipper123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        nice :) i bought that 5 days ago :D, because someone else noticed great experience after meditating..

        how long did it take for you to notice? and how long were your sessions in the beggning middle and now?

        and did it get better . tell me your experience and wirte me pn pls or here :) - also what lifestyle changes may have helped you also; i would really appreciate it since i have emo blunting for 10 years

        [–]Cunt_Robber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Get into the local music scene. See touring artists you like and meet people who also come to see them. Best ice breaker, plus you get chicks with similar music taste.

        Random approach in day or night game, id you got the looks. The game will improve as you continue putting yourself out there.

        Really, anything social that is co-ed would work. If you have the physique and the time to put into these activities, you'll pull. 100%

        [–]ast201 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I think this is an especially great idea for those of us who are very early into redpill and can't yet bring themselves to do cold approaches.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)


        [–]chocolatex 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Can you give us some examples of professional organizations?

        [–]batfish55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I'm a EE. IEEE, SHPE...I know there's others...

        But tbh, and OP's in STEM too, and you know what smart girls look like, so...

        [–]DiggerClam 1 point2 points  (0 children)


        [–]DJVendetta 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        DJing is not a career where you can (easily) game women. I turn up, play nonstop for 4 hours and then by the time I've packed up most people have left.

        Yes, women come and ask me for songs but it's not really an opportunity to game, the only thing I could do is get their number in 2/3 sentences.

        [–]lukmeg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yeah, bartendering and even bouncing gives you way more access to women in nightlife.

        [–]blackedoutfast 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        giving up a decent job to become a DJ or bartender or whatever is a bad idea. everyone else wants those same jobs too. and there are usually very low barriers to entry. so there is an abundance of wannabe DJs etc out there. too much supply = low salary.

        instead, try to shift to a different white collar type job that pays well and has a more flexible schedule and more freedom. use your increased hours to go out to parties, clubs, etc more often. and you can focus entirely on upping your social connections and getting laid since you aren't on the clock as one of the employees.

        [–]CaffineAddictNYC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah. You could easily become a bartender and work more hours around girls to make the same amount of money, or you could get a more flexible job that will give you more time to spend at the gym, out at events, etc. If you already have enough time, you aren't using it well if you're goal is to meet women. As opposed to self improvement time/monk mode.

        [–]ECoast_Man 0 points1 point  (6 children)

        Co-ed light competition sports. It's very easy because teams tend to have fundraisers, hang out afterwards. Stuff like that.

        [–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Oohhh. I like this one. Getting competitive is a great way to tease girls too. Examples?

        I don't have the ass for volley ball

        [–]ECoast_Man 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        If you live in any medium to large city there are a bunch of these.

        Ultimate frisbee, soccer, softball, rowing, touch football, running, whatever.

        There's a lot of these, usually teams are dying for one or two extra players. Also there's getting to know the broads on the team (and through them their friends if you want), but also you can meet good dude friends, and then get into their social circles.

        [–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Women tend to join leagues over pick-up games. If women are the goal, join the leagues. Cost like $50-$70 for a spot.

        [–]ECoast_Man 0 points1 point  (2 children)


        [–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Probably has to do with female nature and waiting until the men set up camp and have an established approved system before they show up with vagina. Waiting at the finish line so to speak.

        [–]1MrTheFalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That's some deep dank analysis. It makes sense to me.

        [–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I did friday and saturdays bartending for money in grad school, stem. Made a wide group of friendly faces for me to meet at bars. Not close with any but enough to have inherent status

        [–]1MrTheFalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Get out of your head.


        Sign up for anything you have interest in (girl-friendly or not), then sign up for socials and mixers.

        Also anything charity with kids and animals, but only if you like kids and animals.

        [–]Nomorethanicanchew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My way to find women is the next, I live in Europe so maybe USA is different, so I go roam around the city and try to find a spit that has a lot of women. Oftentimes their's either a dymnamic of it being a trendy place for a short time (open air concert, food market, art gallery) or some nice place, by the beach, nice view etc... I go there and rest, listen to music or have a drink with some high value friends. There you have it that's my way to find women.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Why not just actually you know, GO to the bar?

        That crazy place where people go out to have a drink and meet each other?

        Becoming a bartender to meet girls at the bar seems incredibly roundabout.

        [–]gaki123 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        This further my motivation to get rich af. Money is an understated topic here because most people are dumb as fuck with money/low-iq . But, for us STEM guys it's the best way to get Social value. Just don't be a beta bucks.