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Have no game at all. (self.asktrp)

submitted by IronPollack08

So I’m in my mid 20’s. I Workout frequently, good job, have my own place, and fairly confident.

Problem is I have no game at all. I don’t even know how to approach women I find attractive. I know it’s embarrassing. That I’m on here asking where to begin?

I’m only have a few drunken hookups because they fell right into my lap. Went to numerous college parties and was the awkward guy standing and watching.

I guess the only logical conclusion is I’m scared to approach women. Where do you guys learn to master this? I feel if I could just find a good opening I could go from there. It’s really embarrassing and I feel like I’m wasting my youth. I’m not ready to “settle down” because I’ve never started up. It’s quite a depressing thought knowing that I’m not experiencing the things I should be. A lot of post on here have really helped. Am I too old to start up? I have vegas coming up in a few weeks and don’t want to ruin the opportunity with my fearfulness.


[–]looseonthemoose1321 68 points69 points  (2 children)

Live in the sidebar for the next 3-6 months and post questions in this sub for learning purposes on ACTUAL real-life situations you've ran into.

Everyone has "game", so to say. Some better than others. If your game is terrible or based off some BP notion of what game is, then you've gotta start from the bottom and build the foundations piece-by-piece.

Game isn't something that you get by just "having a certain piece" of it down, nor is it something you can master in a few weeks.

You can take TREMENDOUS strides from where you are now if you really apply yourself in a few weeks in preparation for Vegas, but game overall is a LONG journey.

Why would you be too old to start up? There are men in this sub in their 40's and 50's who have just gone through divorce-rape that have turned their lives around by finding us. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones to have stumbled in this subreddit earlier on in your life.

[–]menial_optimist 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Your post gives me hope.

[–]looseonthemoose1321 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks brother. Just trying to show my fellow brothers who've decided to take this journey with me that it's never too late to start the first footsteps. :-)

[–]Sexyladstik 47 points48 points  (4 children)

Here is my ultimate Game strategy: There is no such thing as game. There is no strategy or magic button that gets a girl off. There's not an enchanting spell you can say to make girls find you attractive. It doesn't work like that. Stop thinking about girls and gaming in this sense. You don't need to Mastermind PUA technique or read a shit ton of books.

Just stop giving a fuck. Stop trying so hard. Stop trying to get laid, just give up. You're a loser, I'm a loser, were all losers trying to get laid. You know who does get laid? The guys who don't try or care at all if it happens. Guys who would rather have a fun night than spend it pursuing temporary affection from basic bitches. Your life should be fucking awesome without game, without women.

If you pursue a fun time and a better quality of life women will naturally flock to you in order to improve their standing. How to get their attention? Talk to them. Remember your life is incredible and their life is boring. They want you because you benefit them. Simply talking to them and trying to have fun they will usually respond. At first you're gonna suck at it. You're not gonna be fun you're not gonna seem awesome. It's because you're inexperienced. Yes you can read sidebar all day and learn ways to improve yourself and your game, but it means absolutely nothing if in person you're an awkward beta.

Keep trying dude, go out and talk to the hottest girl you see. Don't try and fuck her or get her number just simply talk and practice being charismatic and funny. You can only learn through practice not by imagining how it would go down after reading some sidebar.

[–]zamahx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is entirely true, but the mindset OP is probably in doesn’t allow him to get into that state. I’d say watch some PUA videos just to get a feel for how a conversation go.. then add your own personality. I recommend Todd v Dating YouTube channel because this dude is the epitome of basic but he pulls 8+ chicks

[–]AdmCP 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Much truth here. Its not about talking girls into anything. First you make yourself a worthy man, polished, skilled, fit and shiny. Then you be yourself. Try to give more fucks about your own opinion cause for you it should always be the most important one. Attraction is often based on friction and edges. So live your edges out. People will disagree with you, they will mislike your opinion and edges but at the end of the day if you stay true to them you will create respect and attraction. (Don't be a dick though)

Hating someone's opinion and still having lots of respect and attraction to the same person at the same time is a real thing.

[–]markinsinz7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Listen to this guy OP trust me ur mind is fresh so reading too many shitts and not taking acting can result in u never really learning game.

[–]Yeikee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Solid advice, man!

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Huh? Being bad at driving didn't stop you from getting behind the wheel in driver's education class, now did it? So what's your major malfunction, now? You make it sound like we're asking you to smuggle drugs on an airplane. Quit whining.

Go talk to women anyway. Nobody is going to ask for your conversational license and insurance, kid.

What are they going to do? Criticize you? Act bored? Ignore you? Slap you? Or worse, say "no" to you? (gasp!) I think you'll do allright.

Even skydiving stops being intimidating after your 10th jump or so.

[–]TheBrokenRuler 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Trying something for the first time can very well BE scary. Here's what you've got to do to learn to approach women.

Step 1) You've got to reach between your legs, and find your balls. There is no Step 2.

You will fail, you will be rejected. Even the TRP vanguard got shot down plenty when they first started out. Fail, then fail better, then succeed.

Your openers can be absolutely cheesy, and they'll still work, because by cold-approaching you're already demonstrating qualities women truly want.

Read the "get laid like a warlord" piece (it's on the side bar, I may not have recalled the title quite right but it's something similar), plus how to tease bitches. The whole sidebar, really, will do it for you

[–]menial_optimist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not ready to “settle down” because I’ve never started up.

I know exactly how you feel, and I'm 28. A lot of my friends are getting married, having kids and shit but I have not even gone through the phase of being 18-20 and just having fun sexually/romantically.

[–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Practice. Start talking to everyone. Even if it’s just to ask a basic general question like what time it is, just try to talk to everyone.

Game is practice, like all other skills. You get better from your failures and from your success. I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my friends, I’ve burned bridges from approaching and escalating with the wrong girls, I’ve also opened and closed a HB9 at a Vegas Day Club, and I’ve gotten numbers from girls who I find out later are Instagram “models”.

Practice.

[–]Melbourne91 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This was the case for me. I am an only child, raised by my single father who only ever had one proper go with women and that was with my mum.

For ever I thought others had learned some magic skill that I missed out on.

I'm 5'7 and thought that I had missed out on some sort of opportunity that only taller guys were having...

I always felt like every one else had it figured out and I hadn't.

So I went searching, found articles on game, found TRP etc and started researching.

I hit the gym to bulk up in hope I'd get laid. I practised one liners in hoping to nail the perfect one.

I put myself out there and acted a little cockier in hope that I would give off a more alpha vibe.

Doing all of these things I thought was doing good game. I achieved absolutely nothing with all of these things.

The biggest thing I have learned is this.

The only difference between my upbringing and that of somebody who had both parents they're whole life who kills it with women is that that guy was raised to believe that he is enough. That's it.

His mother instilled in him to not be a douchebag, that women find him attractive, that it's okay for things to be awkward and to not rush to fill it with words. His dad taught him to respect women and he learned how to make them laugh and be himself. That's it.

This is the biggest thing I have come to realise. I have always taken my lack of progress with women as a huge rejection, and every time I tried to focus on a certain mindset and was rejected I would scrap it and try again. Because of this my confidence has been so low and I never thought I was enough. But you know what I did that changed so much? I started writing down every interaction I had with a female, whether we slept together, whether I kissed them, whether they were showing interest in me by holding hands or being touchy, whether they would reply to me on tinder and actually keep the conversation flowing etc. I soon realised after keeping a journal that I wasn't being rejected, that women must find me attractive, that all of the signs were there, I (through my insecurities and lack of awareness) was the reason why things didn't go any further, I was holding myself back. After realising all of this I now know that I am attractive to women, I am enough, and when I talk to women I don't try and game them, I don't try any bullshit. I am just happy, I have a conversation, if I find her attractive I'll try and flirt a little, maybe hold eye contact for a little bit longer than normal, I might play some games or increase physical contact. I will do my best to try and read the covert language that women are best at and if there is a moment where we both pause and we are both looking at each other smiling, then i will lean in for a kiss and once that happened, unless she is on her cycle or there is some other circumstance, it's game over.

Thats it man, thats all it is. You are enough dude, women are horny, be mysterious, fun and friendly and most women will want to fuck you.

[–]dmi_3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a good advice

[–]oytrp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no magic cure for approach anxiety. You just have to do it.

Read the sidebar and internalize RP theories. Most importantly you need to remember that this girl you're approaching isn't special, and that there is another even hotter girl around the corner.

[–]Sleepyknot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/wFTR9jNkeCg

Besides that watch more videos of RSD Tyler

[–]Rhalium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

grow balls, approach women. theyre not going to approach you, unless in very rare circumstances. get used to rejection. get on tinder and bumble.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start small, talk to everyone you meet, make conversation. Complement people, male and female of all ages.

[–]fuggetboutit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learn dancing.