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Just saw a weird email from my gf's ex to my gf (self.asktrp)

submitted by terrapin12345

Been with this girl about 3 months. She got out of a long relationship with a very bad breakup where he left her, and we met about a month and a half after that ended. Things have been great for the past 3 months, and I never once suspected that something was up. However, last week we were driving in my car, and I looked over and saw that she received an email from him saying "You coming over tonight?". She was devastated after her breakup and really loved this fuck, she promises they have never seen or talked to each other at all since we started dating, but I find it so strange what the email said. She showed me she had him blocked everywhere but says she never even considered emails. She was crying a lot says she would never do something to jeopardize our relationship. She's spent a ton of time with me since this happened, and I'm positive nothing happened between them. What do I do exactly? Bail, or just lay down the law that I'll walk away if something's going on. I quickly brushed it off because it seemed so sincere, and she was so upset, but my gut tells me something is up.

Update*

They were definitely fucking. Someone said I should have asked her to respond to him in front of me so I did this:

"message him back and say why did you ask that the other day". She refused and put up a huge fight. I asked to see her emails and she went fine! Nothing in the inbox from him / nothing in the sent file from either of them. Then checked out the deleted and found nothing. Phewf. But then I realized there wasn't even the email he sent in her deleted folder. Went to restore deleted messages (hotmail) and literally hundreds of emails between the two of them. The last one was terrapin12345 saw your message. I can't see you anymore it's not fair to terrapin12345 - but I don't regret anything between the two of us. WTF


[–]lietruth 25 points26 points  (12 children)

Context wise, it's hard to believe that the email would come out of the blue.

Especially since people text/fb/what's app now and not email. Emails for shit that's private and confidential. The email was clearly a follow up to something that was going down before. When you smell smoke you think of a fire. Not sure if she's telling the truth or not. What's her track record, ever caught lying before?

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    She was going to leave that night but then decided to stay over.

    [–]circedgirlsarecleanr 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Look man, none of this really matters unless you saw some kind of future with this girl and if you see a future with a girl you're seeing, you're doing it wrong. Every girl I see, I do not care about whether or not she's seeing somebody else as long as I get what I want out of her. The moment that stops, I know what's up (Chad) and ghost immediately.

    You should have not done any of what you did. When you see her in touch with her ex, it is pretty self explanatory. The point being you had nothing to lose.

    [–]ThePwnter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You got to be careful though you don't catch something by not caring. Like a bullet from a mad ex, beta orbiter, or a std from chad. You just got to make sure these girls are loyal, so you can protect your own interest.

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children)

    Never lied to me, but she can be sort of private with her phone. There was one day about a month and a half ago where I had no idea where she was, wouldn't answer her phone for hours, and her mom called here looking for her when she had told me she was going home that night. She told me she had just stopped off at a friends and was very busy.

    [–]MrTyler_Durden 46 points47 points  (5 children)

    Oh she's been fucking him for sure. I love how even with the evidence right in front of us, women are able to make us second guess our instincts. You know she's fucking him bro, don't let her convince you otherwise. She wasn't crying because you stumbled across this "misunderstanding" she was crying because she got caught.

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    Girls don't just happen to forget their phone exists. A girl's phone is her life. If she put her phone down and ignored it, she did it intentionally and for a purpose.

    Also, OP says she never lied, but then goes on to tell us about a time where she said she was going home, but she didn't go home.

    Do yourself a favor, OP. Call her mother and ask her if/when your girlfriend arrived. If she was off both of your radars for more than an hour or two, she was up to something.

    Also, that email is basically confirmation that she was going to fuck him. You are retarded if you have to ask what that email meant, and a cuckold if you don't act on that knowledge.

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    They were fucking. See my response in other part of the thread.

    Thanks for this. Asked her to do this "message him back and say why did you ask that the other day". She refused and put up a huge fight. I asked to see her emails and she went fine! Nothing in the inbox from him / nothing in the sent file from either of them. Then checked out the deleted and found nothing. Phewf. But then I realized there wasn't even the email sent in her deleted folder. Went to restore deleted messages (hotmail) and literally hundreds of emails between the two of them. The last one was terrapin12345 saw your message. I can't see you anymore it's not fair to terrapin12345 - but I don't regret anything between the two of us. WTF

    [–]MrTyler_Durden 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    The best thing you can do is completely remove yourself from her life without even telling her. She'll freak out.

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Always trust your gut. Good thinking on your part.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I hope you ghosted her and explained absolutely nothing. She will never forget you and it will blow her mind so much she will either beg to be with you, or she will come back someday and say how she made a huge mistake.

    [–]lietruth 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    ...

    I mean, how much clearer can she be. There's a strong possibility that she's fucking her ex. Especially when she's getting these 'in context' emails out of the blue.

    [–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    But she seemed so sincere, so cute. That's the smile of a dolphin, man. We look at the dolphin and its physiology makes us think it's smiling, but that dolphin may as well be pissed as hell, plotting how to kill you. It'll still look like it's sincere and smiling to our compromised brains.

    [–]EinReichEinVolk 20 points21 points  (19 children)

    Ghost this stupid bitch, she doesn't even deserve to be dumped

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 1 point2 points  (18 children)

    Why are you so convinced?

    [–]2deep2quick 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    If you need more convincing than seeing an email from a girls ex, who she swears she's not communicating with, confirming plans to hang out, you're fucked. You saw it with your own eyes. Honor your self and your senses and your perception of reality here.

    [–]WontonSoup77 8 points9 points  (15 children)

    Make her email back "what are you talking about" in front of you

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 4 points5 points  (13 children)

    Thanks for this. Asked her to do this "message him back and say why did you ask that the other day". She refused and put up a huge fight. I asked to see her emails and she went fine! Nothing in the inbox from him / nothing in the sent file from either of them. Then checked out the deleted and found nothing. Phewf. But then I realized there wasn't even the email sent in her deleted folder. Went to restore deleted messages (hotmail) and literally hundreds of emails between the two of them. The last one was terrapin12345 saw your message. I can't see you anymore it's not fair to terrapin12345 - but I don't regret anything between the two of us. WTF

    [–]WontonSoup77 8 points9 points  (11 children)

    Time to move on but at least you found out sooner rather than later

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 10 points11 points  (10 children)

    Thank you, I will. Why the fuck does she say "I can't see you anymore it's not fair to terrapin12345". Does she really think she's going to stop seeing him and just be with me after she cheated on me our entire relationship? This is so fucked.

    [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (6 children)

    She's trying to convince herself that she's not a piece of shit, that she has a sense of justice about this, when in reality she's little more than a fickle child who is a slave to her own emotional impulses.

    It was never fair to you. The reality is that she likely never intended to stop seeing him at all. She stopped because she almost got caught, but she won't tell herself or her ex that. Once the smoke cleared and you became less suspicious, she has no reason not to continue fucking him. So she came up with a weak reason to stop for the time being so that she could bide her time.

    Sorry pal, but it's pretty clear alpha fucks, beta bucks here. Guess which one you are? She didn't want to compromise the long term beta bucks. That's the only reason she stopped (even if it was only for a little while).

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    Do you actually think she would have stopped seeing him? She said it was 100% over with him in the email.

    [–]P1mpyP1mp 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    She was telling him it's over in between slurping up his cum. Your hamstering is worse than hers.

    [–]LordThunderbolt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    She also said she didn't know what he was talking about when you found the email. Fuck off with your beta feelings. That cheating slur would've only conceived it from you better.

    [–]Docbear64 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    she didn't stop seeing him for the first 3 /4 months of your relationship .... .She's totally going to be honest and loyal now right ?

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    She wants to stop seeing him but she desires to see him.

    You want to stop smoking but you desires just a last cigarette.

    Same deal.

    [–]conotocaurius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    For a while, maybe.

    [–]Aarxnw 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    Having been there, that's one of the most infuriating lines I've ever heard in my life, oh my fucking god. Women seem to think they can just leave that shit in the past, and the fucked up thing is if you had never caught her, she would happily have gone on to go the rest of her life hiding her dirty little secret because 'it's all in the past'. Fuck. That. Shit. Kick her shit to the curb dude.

    Also, how old are you roughly if you don't mind me asking?

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    36 she's 24

    [–]Aarxnw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Makes sense, she seems pretty emotionally immature still, I expected her to be younger than that. If you managed to get her, I have full faith that you can move on and find a better girl. Good luck dude, sorry about what happened.

    [–]postreformedpua 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    but I don't regret anything between the two of us

    The thing to concentrate on here is she doesn't regret sucking his dick over yours.

    [–]askmrcia 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    My golden rule for advice on LTRs when they post it on here:

    If you have to ask advice on your relationship on this sub, then deep down inside you know its over. Trust your gut.

    You can try and hamster it all you want saying you never had any problems and all that jazz, but everyone that has commented here has been through was you've been through before. The writing is on the wall. You can either end the relationship or plate her and talk to other women.

    Its up to you. The crying and apologizing that she does, again we all been there when a woman cries and all of that. That is a guilt trip they do. Don't fall for it and move on.

    [–]1walawalawa 12 points13 points  (6 children)

    You got together very quickly after a guy dumped her.

    She was devastated after her breakup and really loved this fuck, she promises they have never seen or talked to each other at all since we started dating, but ...

    ...You're the white-knight rescuer rebound guy.

    Girls who bounce from one relationship to another never fully recover. They end up bringing their mess and baggage to the next one.

    You also got too emotionally involved too quickly.

    The way out of this is to pull back...not to punish her but to get your own head straight.

    She is in contact....whatever she told you about blocking or whatever is a lie.

    Now you're panicking and realizing you may be cucked with Chad waiting in the wings.

    Based on the what you've told us, I can predict with 98% certainty that if you ghost, disappear, soft-next....she'll run over to Chad in two seconds..."Just to talk".

    Find a way that you can pull the plug and drop this girl. It won't end well if you continue.

    She's bringing out the worst in you: paranoid, angry, anxious....

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

    Thank you. She was cheating read update. She's blowing my phone up right now but I'm sure she'll be in that faggot's bed tonight.

    [–]1walawalawa 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    I was in this position or something similar. In the first instance I handled it badly by pushing and pushing for a confession.

    In the second the girl kept denying anything was going on. But when she acted out, I ghosted. By ghosted I mean I just never spoke to her again. That was 5 months ago.

    She of course reacted angrily trying to paint me as some over-bearing asshole.

    But the joy of ghosting is you give her NOTHING to pick apart. And believe me she will pick it apart. She'll find 3 or 4 reasons why she left you etc etc etc.

    It sucks. But tonite find yourself some friends, go out and chill.

    Block her so her hamster explodes.

    You can still recover if you just follow the above advice.

    [–]RPBulletDodger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This.

    So fucking much this.

    [–]LordThunderbolt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You better believe it. Ghost this bitch for life. Delete her and her close friends off all your social media

    [–]MuhTriggersGuise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm sure she'll be in that faggot's bed tonight

    I get why you're upset, but A.) having sex with a woman definitely doesn't make a man a faggot; and B.) WTF are you so mad at him for? Did he ever make a commitment to you? Were you best buds for years? Direct your anger to the person who did betray you, not the convenient accessory with a dick.

    Good riddance. You should hope she convinces him to get back with her. He deserves her. She's going to fuck over and betray whoever she's with.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]terrapin12345[S] 20 points21 points  (4 children)

    This girl was already fucken talking about marriage. You guys might have.

    [–]jay_jay_man 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Been with this girl about 3 months

    This girl was already fucken talking about marriage.

    she has had very little sex with me lately except this weekend

    Red flags, red flags everywhere.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]terrapin12345[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      All freshly deleted like oh fuck he might be on to me i should delete messages that go back 3 fucken months

      [–]MuhTriggersGuise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      And she was a little bitch to you when you demanded to check what she was up to.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      This is easy. She didn't think to block email? She only thought to block the stuff that is easy for a new beau to stumble into?

      The scientific term for that is "bullshit".

      Trickle truth incoming. Fasten up your headbelt.

      [–]Sensei_Hensei 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      1. Women never completely get rid of their exes.

      2. She's not yours it's just your turn. Drop her today.

      [–]P1mpyP1mp 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Women never completely get rid of their exes.

      This is so fucking true.

      [–]Cunt_Robber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      If you know of any of her exes and you find out theyre not connected on any social media platforms, you can be sure it was the guy's doing.

      Lets be honest was anyone remotely surprised at the outcome? Fits right in line with typical female behavior patterns. Dumb cunt houldve used snapchat chat feature

      [–]LordThunderbolt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Not true if her ex ghosts her. I ghosted mine

      [–]Docbear64 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      It's not scientific , it's not definite, it's not absolute but I'm a firm believer that if you're gut is telling you that something is wrong then something is wrong .

      I would be careful about becoming too attached to a chick who left one relationship she was deeply invested in to jump into a new one . That's how you get those conversations where women say that they're " confused" and need time to figure out what they want. She wasn't alone long enough to let the last relationship die so I would bet money she still has some type of feelings for him .

      At the end of the day though we're just strangers on the internet , but like YOU said something in your gut doesn't feel right .

      [–]trprdtor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      If you just brushed it off she shouldn't have a reason to start crying and become emotional unless something is up. He's been balls deep into her a few times since you got together with her for sure.

      [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Man, you are hamstering, etc., to try to find an outcome where she isn't a Lying Liar Who Lies, because you still have some bluepill in you and because your dick really likes her pussy.

      You know how you come to askTRP and you read a post where you think, "Man, that poor dumb fuck is completely in denial about what a lying ass bitch his girl is"? Well, this time, it's you.

      Your best move is "Ghost.That.Bitch"

      [–]LordThunderbolt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Now the red pill has been forced up your butt since I didn't want to swallow it. There are no good girls left on this planet, so STOP getting into LTRs. They really are all hoes.

      [–]DiggerClam 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      "Blocked him on ERRRRRRYTHAN!"

      Bullshit.

      1. Girls are dumb as fuck, they don't know how to block numbers on their phones.
      2. They won't ever block someone they are/were attracted to, they love the validation. Block them yourself on their phone.
      3. Why even have go through this shit; next her.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 5 points6 points  (8 children)

      How long did you fuck her before you chose to get into a serious relationship with her?

      I suppose you are up for some trickle truth here. I'd introduce some dread game to her and watch what unfolds.

      [–]terrapin12345[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

      3 weeks. We were pretty much together at this point.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 13 points14 points  (6 children)

      Yeah. That is your problem. You do not commit to a woman unless you have fucked her (and subsequently got to know her) for minimum six to twelve months.

      You do not know anything about this girl you have not seen what she behaves like when her mask drops and you do not know to what extend you can trust her and now you are confronted with the consequences.

      As I said: Force her out of her role by introducing some dreadgame. I personally would start by ghosting her for at least one week. Then look what happens.

      [–]MrTyler_Durden 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      First paragraph of your comment should be a golden rule

      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I actually have written that five or six times in the last two days...

      [–]terrapin12345[S] -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

      But nothing bad has happened yet. I don't even know if she was up to anything. She's been pretty good to me.. although she has had very little sex with me lately except this weekend.

      [–]MrTyler_Durden 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Holy fuck!! She hasn't been having sex with you because she's been getting fucked by her ex! Your brand new into the relationship... you guys should be fucking like crazy the start of a fresh hot relationship. Girls don't withhold sex unless something is up... ESPECIALLY not in the first 3 months.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Uhh how are you in a new relationship and not fucking a lot.

      Holy shit

      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Don't you want to or can you not understand?

      [–]TheGatesOfValhalla 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Are you in a "committed" relationship with her?

      If so, why? You've only known her 3 months and she is 1.5 months out of a LTR. She is literally using you for a rebound and probably also as an emotional tampon.

      If your relationship isn't committed, then you better go start spinning some other plates for Christs sake.

      Also, fuck her better

      [–]Cycix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Just end it. Don't even ask for closure. Nothing. I made that mistake and I'll never make that mistake again. From now on, she doesn't exist.

      [–]beginner_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      1.5 month after a 3 year relationship. Dude. That's called a rebound and will never lead to something serious. But I guess you learned that lesson now.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Damn

      Hit me right in the feels imagining this for you and imagining what has happened to me I didn't know about.

      Imagine outside of romantic relationships. How often do you see or hearing something weird and your immediate impression is just really off? It's rare and so why is it different with women? It's not.

      Also a lesson is how easily she convincingly lied to you. And how she fought tooth and nail not to tell the truth.

      [–]terrapin12345[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      This is the fucken absolute worst thing. It's pretty much sociopathic behaviour. She created this reality where I was the absolute love of her life. That fate brought us together. I don't know how I could trust a woman ever again, because if she could come off as so sincere, this is literally a girl where I never had any doubt her feelings for me, then really any person could lie to me. So fucked up.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Read up on cluster b personality disorders such as Borderline.

      [–]ThePwnter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Remember woman are cunning liars that can use crying and emotions as tool. Always judge her by her actions. She played you by continually cheating on you. Hard Next her and move on.

      [–]El_Serpiente_Roja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Like the other guy said...if you eben have to bring up your ltr in a place like this then its already over.

      [–]asktrpthrow123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You're not a boyfriend, you're a plate. I assume you know what needs to be done?

      [–]Psychocist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The bigger question is - why is she anything but a plate after only 3 months? Sounds like you became a little too invested too quickly AND she was rebounding. What the hell did you expect?

      I know here we seem to cling to any evidence we find of how deceptive women are.. but really.. just sounds like common sense.

      [–]exemptme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Risk raising a child that's not even yours? No thank you.