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Told my Oneitis to get the fuck out of my life (self.asktrp)

submitted by RebornRed45

So I finally got tired of orbiting and sending a million texts before receiving a single one, tired of validating and caring while she goes out getting banged by some dude.

I felt liberated, now she's sending text after text to trying to get me to respond. I feel scared that I've pushed away one of the few women who gave me any attention.

How do I deal with this?


[–]RPShitlord 88 points89 points  (14 children)

The only attention of hers that matters is her pussy, and she's not giving it to you. Block her and move on, and don't stick around girls who won't fuck you.

[–]RebornRed45[S] 38 points39 points  (12 children)

I'm very new to this, stumbled on the TRP and I've never left like more of a loser. Everything has been a lie, I feel pathetic, I want to stick my head into the sand and never come out

[–]Yashugan00 36 points37 points  (1 child)

It gets better. Got to see the problem before you can fix it.

[–]babybopp 14 points15 points  (0 children)

OP that trembling , that fear, that anxiety that you are feeling right now... is a release from a mental slavery most men do not get the chance to break free from. It will pass. Do not wish for a return to innocence.. that is blue pill. Right now, the first thing you need to do is ghost her. No contact whatsoever however tempting. She will be in denial first. The longer you ghost then comes anger... she will try to insult you or guilt you. If you continue to ignore her she will them start bargaining with you... hey, why don't you and I just do something together..? . mleh! Here you can let her know, if she is not coming to suck your dick then there is nothing else to talk about. Keep ghosting. .. then comes depression about it. Her little orbiter that she used to go underwear shopping with for Chad is no longer playing ball... waaah..! Waaah...! Remember, only sucky sucky.. nothing else. Then finally she will accept the new you. The you that will only entertain her if she comes first to suck your dick. If not, move on and don't back track.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

TRP is the truth though mate, the majority of people know it but the majority choose to ignore it or deny it, you're one of the 'lucky' ones.

[–]Invkrmainr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The fact you are progressing at all is commendable.

You cant focus on how well others have it. Its your life not theirs. Focus on improvements you've made. If you ever feel down think about what you used to be. An orbiter. Look at you now, independent of her. Big step.

[–]htbf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You will find some solace in knowing that what youre feeling right now is perfectly normal.

Know that you're welcome here and that you have a long journey ahead of you to reclaim your true self. It's going to be difficult, exhilarating, and then even more difficult. Your resolve to be the best will be tested at every corner. Flashing signs telling you that "great, you've made it, now settle for this girl".

Be prepared to say no, to walk out of things you are not ok with, to be hurt, and to clench your teeth at pain.

Welcome.

[–]beta_no_mo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stick your head in a pussy instead. Make it cum and then fuck it until it's raw. Rinse and repeat until you realize that you were the prize all along.

[–]purduered 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good. You should be pissed. Let the anger fuel you to become a better man and empower you to obtain the things you want in life. It is not time to hide, it is time to seek.

[–]xddm2653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relax, it seems you've flipped the tables on her quite quickly. Wait til the next morning to reply, and give some kind of quick apology about how you were out drinking (and hint that you had a great time/met someone). If she asks questions either shut down again, or change the topic, or forget her completely and actually DO go out and meet someone new.

[–]edwardhwhite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I slow ghosted from the opposite coast. She moved to my city

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOOOOL. Gold.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Your testicles just dropped, don't try to suck them back in, now.

Who cares? Women's attention is cheap and mostly worthless.

Your time, energy, and attention is valuable.

I feel scared that I've pushed away one of the few women who gave me any attention.

Huh? Women's attention won't make you happy. Being successful, validating yourself, believing in yourself, checking items off your bucket list, and doing productive things with your time. That's the recipe for happiness.

Your fear is because you're not approaching and gaming women. If you were, you would realize just how cheap women's attention is.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Emotional Tampon.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (7 children)

I'm a bit confused as to your thought process. You were strongly orbiting a girl, she didn't recuperate, so you tell her to get the fuck out of your life?

It comes across as very BP and "I'm a nice guy who deserves a girlfriend".

You should've just ignored her. She, like any woman, wants attention. She's messaging you to try and get you back into her life so you can feed her ego some more. She has no plans on having a relationship with you, and you shouldn't make any more of a fool of yourself than you already have.

[–]RebornRed45[S] 17 points18 points  (6 children)

I just don't want to be the guy who consoles her, listens to her problems, does shit for her. She asked me to get ice cream and hang out with her because she was upset over some dude hurting her feelings.

That triggered me, I just didn't want to be that guy anymore

[–]Platos_slow_brother 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I just didn't want to be that guy anymore

So don't be. Ignore her. She is just trying to get her orbiter back. She thinks you are her "friend", and would say so, but that is just the string-you-along game she is playing, quite knowingly, even though she would deny it always. She wants your devotion and validation, because it makes her feel better. She cares not one bit what you feel like.

How many times has she ever actually been a friend to you, rather than the lead singer and you the back-up dancer in her personal show?

Move on. She does not matter to you any longer.

[–]Squillimy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she was really his friend she'd at least be trying to get him laid by her friends. lol

[–]AshyBoneVR4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You sound young. Best advice I'd give someone like you, learn how to get comfortable being alone.

[–]the-bum-hammer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With most women, you can either be the lap where she puts her head or the shoulder.

Be the lap. Now, if you choose to be the shoulder, don't be the shoulder for someone hoping it'll eventually be the lap.

[–]Docbear64 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's rational . You don't want to be the cleanup man anymore . Good enough to make her feel better but not good enough to date , kiss , or be intimate with ? You're a living pillow just waiting to cushion her every time she falls. No one wants that from a woman they are attracted to.

[–]prostaddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been there man. Found the red pill and cut her off. Best decision I made - a year later and I have no women in my life that do that, and I ended up dumping a beautiful girl who was in love with me because I wasn't feeling it anymore (something I never would have saw myself doing and never have). You made the right call, and you need this level of pain to fully swallow the pill - you're changing your beliefs at their core, and your mind/body sure as fuck does not want to do that until it absolutely has to. Now it does

[–]1DonaldBaelish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If she was never texting you in the first place , all you had to do was not text her at all. A few days or weeks would have passed and she would have hit you up. And when that happened , all you had to do was ignore her.

But yeah , this works too. Keep ignoring.

[–]mcr00sterdota 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She's after the ego hit brother. Block her and move on.

[–]Cunt_Robber 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Youre a whiteknighting oneitis orbiter. Showering her with attention and validation will not get you pussy. Stop doing that, or trying to get friendzoned, and escalate. Be charming, witty, a bit of a cocky asshole, and flirt with them. They have a fuck ton of guys who do that and they pick the best ones to get fucked by. Being nice and offering attention lands you in her orbit: she'll hit you up and give you attention back but while she gets her fill of validation from you she gets filled by other dudes who actually pursued her for sex.

[–]Kalidane 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You miss your penpal?

Doesn't sound like a big deal.

[–]jay_jay_man 3 points4 points  (0 children)

one of the few women who gave me any attention. How do I deal with this?

You deal with it by improving yourself which results in getting more attention.

[–]Velebit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

friendzone her, use her as social proof, be as cold as possible, being aloof means learnign to win not run

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did the right thing. She's just sorry she lost a source of free validation. She thought she could call on you like a dog when needed but you sure showed her. Grats.

[–]fcb98292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go attract another girl who will give even better attention the way you want it. Abundance mentality. And ghost that bitch.

[–]Nergaal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't stop yourself from being angry same way as you won't be able (in the near future) to feel like you did a mistake.

Leart to be comfortable with yourself by yourself and then you will see them crawling to you.

[–]jcrpta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're very new to this; your natural reaction is likely to be "this can't be right.... can it?" because if it is right, you basically need to re-evaluate everything you thought you knew about women.

It follows that your thinking is still very BP in nature - you think you're seeing a truly good woman give you, the undeserving, a second chance. At what? A second chance at being an orbiter? Gee thanks.

That's not what you're seeing at all. What you're seeing is her reaction to you suddenly demonstrating more value than she previously thought you had. If you'd been the one to get in touch first, make no mistake - she'd have ignored you entirely.

[–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel scared that I've pushed away one of the few women who gave me any attention.

Get out and meet more women. Approach 5 a day.

[–]absolucion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You give her your undivided attention and got a trickle of hers. You tell her to kick rocks and now she's giving you what you've wanted in the hopes that you continue floating around her, providing her attention. This should provide you with enough evidence to make an educated decision. Feeling scared is normal but that will pass.

Ignore her. That relationship is over. Work on improving yourself and what you desire will eventually come (no thanks to her).

[–]Squillimy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Continue ghosting. But continue ghosting because YOU want to be done with her. DO NOT continue ghosting because you think she may eventually miss you, want you back in her life, and realize she wants to date you.

This will not happen. She will either beg you to come back in her life, tease more emotional connection, and slowly get you back into the friendzone where you were before. OR she will simply find a new beta orbiter.

[–]Poptart318 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Tell her that you don't talk to people that disrespects you. Than just go ghost for a bit. Maybe just plate her after wards