I'm unclear how to handle this. I'm a bit worked up but trying not to come across as a jealous beta with this. Just tell me the wise way to handle this.
My LTR (of 10 mos.) I asked her what her plans were for this weekend and she said, "Um...well I'm actually meeting Matt for lunch". Who??? I've never heard of Matt and have no idea who this person is, she's never brought him up before at all in 10 months. I probed but think I held frame and said "Oh is that someone from work?". She said that he was a friend from her last job 2 years ago and they hadn't seen each other in a while. I don't know the full details but I know that she's driving more than an hour away to meet him for lunch in the city that he lives in. I did give into temptation and FB stalked him using some of the clues she gave to me about him. He's a fairly successful guy, handsome and muscular, works in business administration (I work in education) and I think he plays or used to play minor league baseball so he's still got that body. That's all I got. I asked what she had planned for after lunch and she said "Oh, I might do some shopping in that city since I haven't been there in a while." Basically, once she meets Matt she'll be unavailable the rest of the entire day. She gave scant details of their past, she just kept saying "he's my friend" / "he's my good friend".
So I'm not sure what to do. Say something and appear jealous? Say nothing at all and then she doesn't know I don't like her driving to meet some random guy I've never heard of? If they made plans to meet for lunch an hour away, then that means they've been calling / texting / emailing back and forth and I knew nothing about it until I asked what she was up to. When I asked what she was doing tomorrow she seemed taken off guard. Or maybe it's just all in my head and I need to relax. I don't know. I do care about her and I guess I just... I don't know. I've tried not to be in situations with other women, I most certainly haven't driven an hour away to see anyone of the opposite gender. I think I'm triggered since the last time a situation like this happened to me some years ago, that girl wound up getting pumped and dumped by the guy she told me was also "a friend". So this might just be me own stuff here.
How do I take control of this, or moving forward what steps would you advise? I don't know if she would cheat, but situations like this always make me think a girl is branch swinging...and I just don't want to be naive that a "good girl" could hurt me.
Thanks for letting me vent, just writing you made me feel a bit better. I care about her but I don't like this.