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I took revenge against the guy who attempted to AMOG me and shut me down at work for months... now he got fired. Did I go too far? Would you have done the same? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Nix54

The company is very small (12/15 people), we work on IT, and it has a family-like/non-structured way of handling work and responsibilities. This, while cool in principle, makes it very easy for the whole environment to become jungle-like, as there's basically no authority figure to keep people in check.

This guy I'm talking about didn't take it well when I decided to change and step up my game, a couple of years back. He voiced his disaproval at first, and I shut him down because I wasn't doing anything to him and he should have minded his own business.

As time went by, I kept doing my thing and this asshole didn't take well that other people would put up with me without saying shit to me (in his mind, I was a pain in the ass that needed to be called out on my shit). To make a change, he started AMOGing me and making my life hard in regards to everyone else, ie, trying to make others see me differently, shit on me, insult me to my face and behind my back, and so forth. It was his way of punishing me for my behavior...

His favorite thing was talking to people in the office about me (telling them criticism and sometimes insults about me) like if I wasn't even in the room, just to make them laugh and put me down, and he did this also with people that "liked" me and/or bosses. He wanted me to be the clown of the office and lose all respect, basically.

In the end I even tried to provoke a fight with him in order to put an end to this shit, but he wouldn't take it and kept on going. So I had it.

The fact he was professionally behind and attempted to climb up the ladder by being nice and not competent only made things worse, as I always had lots of benefits because of my abilities and not because I was "nice", and all I wanted was to have fun doing my job without having to suck up to people...

Long story short, he thought it would be a good idea to also shit on my bosses and a couple other coworkers during breaks and similar situations because, you know, "that's what tough guys do...". Anyways, I waited patiently and when the time was right, I intervened behind his back and spilled the whole truth to my bosses and a few coworkers. The fucker was so convinced that I was harmless that he would have no issues shitting on others in front of me, because I wasn't a threat...

My bosses were furious, waited until he finished up a couple of projects, and then fired him. And this guy had absolutely no idea it was coming nor where it all came from. They told him they knew about all the shit he had said about them to other coworkers, about the fact he acted like a bully, and cornered him about the fact he was a pussy and didn't have the balls to say stuff to their faces. He tried to deny, talk his way out of it, even raising his voice by acting hurt, but nothing, they still put him down hard...

He felt treated like shit by the bosses for "no reason" and felt almost all his coworkers were "assholes" and double crossing bitches. I felt great for doing this, and nobody's really missing that fuck-face around except for a couple of people (guess what, women who thought he was alpha).

tl;dr: I decided I wouldn't be fucked with by someone I considered stupid, inferior to me in almost every way, and to whom I never did shit, so I took action and made it so he would get fired for crapping on the workplace. Did I go too far? Should I have just sucked it up and accept him as a coworker?


[–]hawkeaglejesus 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Law 15: Crush Your Enemy Totally

[–]Kwantuum 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Fuck people who put others down for their own benefit. He was an asshole and he fucked with the wrong person. Think what you like, but don't talk shit about people, it achieves nothing, nobody will respect you more for talking shit about someone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true .

When you hear someone talking shit about another person who you generally don't care about it just comes across as petty.

Talking good about people you like is much better.

People love good vibrations.

And I prefer being around positive people.

[–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think what you like, but don't talk shit about people, it achieves nothing, nobody will respect you more for talking shit about someone.

This dude, on the other hand, made it his own policy to always say what he was thinking, irrespective of the fact he was in the workplace, and totally ignoring the fact that nobody ever told HIM what we thought of him, again, because we were on the workplace...

One time I tried to pick a fight with him so he would finally cut the crap and stop trying to mess with me, and he didn't lift a finger and avoided confrontation. Non only that, but he also acted offended by my behavior...

Later that day, he told a woman at work how I was a desperate child, how I never knew what to say when cornered, how I would have gotten my ass kicked if HE wasn't such a nice person, etc

The woman told him that he should take it easy next time and stop trying to provoke people for stupid shit, and he replied "yeah, I know, I actually try to control myself, but sometimes it slips out ;)"

After she showed me those messages, I'd decided that asshole deserved no fucking mercy.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (2 children)

Fuck him.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Don't forget to say Nohomo afterwards or you're gay.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

nohomo

This person said 'nohomo'. It probably means they are trying to prove they aren't gay after saying something that probably sounded "gayish".


Bleep bloop. I'm a bot. Purpose of this bot. Message the creator.

[–]ParlayTheHard8 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Anyways, I waited patiently and when the time was right, I intervened ... . The fucker was so convinced that I was harmless that he would have no issues shitting on others in front of me, because I wasn't a threat...

This is how you do it. All is well, keep at it. Worst thing you could do now is back off or show any remorse. Stay cold/aloof/unaware and if necessary, strike again. He doesn't deserve a thought.

[–]TheRedStoic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hey, you got away with it and your life is better for it. Good job.

Notice how he is not mentioned in my response.

[–]plenty_of_eesh 9 points10 points  (5 children)

when I decided to change and step up my game, a couple of years back. He voiced his disaproval at first, and I shut him down because I wasn't doing anything to him and he should have minded his own business.

As time went by, I kept doing my thing and this asshole didn't take well that other people would put up with me without saying shit to me...

Here is the strange dark corner of your post.

"decided to change and step up my game"--- what? It's a weird thing to say but in this context it's even stranger because it's literally the reason this person developed a problem with you. What did you actually do?

How did you "shut him down"??

"other people would put up with me"-- they were putting up with what exactly?

Don't get me wrong, that guy does sound like an asshat, but it seems like you're trying to hide a lot here.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It took my friends and family a full year to accept the person I became by lifting and being more assertive. They still sometimes refer to traits of my old self as if I still must be like that secretly.

    [–]merryhexmas 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I came here to ask the same questions. We can speculate like another poster that he started standing up for himself but is that the case? It's intentionally vague probably because he knows he was doing some shady shit and not just standing up for himself as evidenced by him saying "this asshole didn't take well that other people would put up with me without saying shit to me". That sounds an awful lot like he's the one being an undermining prick who knows he should be called out for bad behavior but wasn't except for this one guy who did call him out on his shit. Without clarification this post reeks of a toxic employee pissing in the water supply.

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's intentionally vague probably because he knows he was doing some shady shit and not just standing up for himself as evidenced by him saying "this asshole didn't take well that other people would put up with me without saying shit to me"

    I decided to start using my professional advantage, my confidence and my intelligence to make myself noticeable and no longer "just another drone". I went my own way at work, and that alone made me really visible to everyone, and this guy didn't like it. I wanted cool projects, and they gave it to me. I wanted to travel abroad, and they let me. I wanted new equipment, and they bought it to me

    By "putting up with me" I mean that people wouldn't take offense at my behavior, and even IF I was to cross some line, they would still accept me because they liked me. And that drove that asshole crazy...

    For example, I used to joke that I would never bring nothing to the office to share with the others (e.g., food). I made it look like I'd only mooch from others, while in reality, I also brought stuff. But, I made it look like I was mooching off others just to tease them, and this guy grabbed onto that to attack me on how selfish I was...

    When I noticed this, I started doing it more, on purpose. I used to act like a selfish jerk in front of him (making comments and so on that would confirm his view of me), but never actually followed up on it when he wasn't around. So, in the end, he would always end up attacking me on what "he thought" was bad behavior, while others saw me for who I really was. I made him look like an idiot, basically...

    Other times, I would keep my personal life vague on purpose and this guy would go out of his way to ridicule whatever little he knew about me by thinking it was the absolute truth. For example, I have a great relationship with my family, but I once joke about the fact my brother cannot stand me, and he grab onto that by constantly implying nobody could stand me in my family... when I realized what he was doing, I kind of lead him on so he would look like an idiot, and he kept on going...

    See? They guy was fucking obsessed with me, and made it his hobby to point negative stuff about me all the time. True, I kind of lead him on when I noticed what he was doing so he would look like an idiot, but it was still on him for even attempting to put me down... I never did that to him, never went "beyond" bull busting, so he should have kept his mouth shut...

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "decided to change and step up my game"--- what? It's a weird thing to say but in this context it's even stranger because it's literally the reason this person developed a problem with you. What did you actually do?

    I stopped being a timid kind of guy scared of making jokes, scared of socializing, and so forth. I was one of the smartest member of team but I had always acted like another drone.

    When I decided to stop giving a fuck, I changed my behavior. Started taking leadership positions more often, teasing people more, acting more confident because of my abilities, etc. In regards to girls, I started teasing them more, and coupled with my professional advantage, the difference showed big time in regards to the other guys.

    Me and him started on the company at the same time, and he had gotten used to the fact that I would "quietly" embrace my professional advantage over him while being nice and "friendly" to him no matter what. He was the typical nice guy. When I started taking credit for my work and became more noticeable, he automatically fell into the background, and he didn't like that.

    How did you "shut him down"??

    I started doing whatever I wanted in the office and my bosses would let me because of my abilities, and this guy didn't like that one bit. The fact I acted like an entitled jerk (on the surface) and got away with it pissed him off. When I say "entitled jerk", I mean I could ask stuff to my bosses or do only a certain kind of job or act without supervision or make mistakes and still get away with it.

    For example, one time I got tired of working on my laptop and I asked my boss for a monitor, and they bought it to me instantly. The asshole complained for two days in front of me, to another coworker, about how entitled I was for asking for a new toy...

    Another time, I asked for a new computer because mine was slow, and they made me choose the model I wanted and they bought it to me. And this asshole attempted to "break" his own laptop and asked the guy in accounting to tell him "how much money had they given me for the new pc, so he could start looking for a new computer for himself"...

    Other times, he would just comment to mutual coworkers, in a very passive way in front of me, how my behavior was wrong in terms of how I took advantage of my privileged treatment and so forth, and how I should be more humble. And I basically mocked him for complaining so that he would stop, because, you know, I never complained about him so it's not his fucking business to complain about me to the others... and he didn't like it one bit.

    He was jealous as fuck, and he got into his head that it was his job to make me change and use shaming tactics to achieve so...

    "other people would put up with me"-- they were putting up with what exactly?

    What I mean was that, for example, if I made a joke or teased someone and this guy thought it was out of place, the person being teased wouldn't mind it one bit because they liked me, but this guy went out of his way to make sure they changed their opinion of me.

    He went out of his way to label everything I did or said as something bad, clownish, out of place, and so on. I was "supposed" to treat him as an equal and treat everything he said as "light fun", while he was supposed to treat everything I did and said as an excuse to put me down... And the more people reacted well to me, the more he acted up.

    He went as far as treating other women badly because they would laugh at my jokes during breaks... and of course, I also found out he was constantly pissing on me behind my back trying to make others change their opinion of me...

    EDIT: One thing I forgot to mention, this guy started acting like this at the same time his girlfriend dumped him. He made a red pill sort of conversion in his own way, and started acting up like a moody pain in the ass in general. And I was one of the first targets of his "brooding new self".

    One thing he never realized was that he couldn't just start calling people out on their shit and expect the entire social structure to align to his views. For example, I was professional really good, but he didn't like my behavior, so I was constantly called out and put down. Another coworker was really good at his job, but he was close to my bosses, so he was also constantly called out. And so on and on and on...

    Everything that wouldn't suit his new "view of life" was an excuse for him to "act manly", and he made the stupid mistake of thinking this shit was gonna fly forever...

    [–]NothingIsPermanent64 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    [–]htbf 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    That's how you Frank Underwood your workplace.

    Good job.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    This whole thing sounds pretty childish

    But fuck that guy. Who cares

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    "What is the meaning of life, Conan?"

    "To crush your enemy, drive him before you, and hear the lamentations of his women."

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    this assumes he had women.

    [–]ilikemychickenfried 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeeeees!!!!

    [–]Nix54[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Amazing ;)

    Yes, he had a couple of women, one in particular, that would kiss the floor he walked on. Needless to say, that woman is furious with me and can't do shit about it.

    [–]slickdevil1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You did good. If what you wrote is true, he deserved to be fired. And now you have one less problem to worry about.

    Your move is in line with Machiavelli and Green. Show no mercy.

    [–]Velebit 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I would not think you overdid it. Company is better off without him causing bad morale.

    How did you even provoke his bs? What did you change exactly that triggered him?

    Also how did you convince your bosses he needs to leave? This is relevant for people who might find themselves in a similar situation.

    [–]slickdevil1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I assume OP got more confident and started to push back when someone gave him shit. Guys that put others down because of their own insecurities often respond by targeting guys they feel threatened by.

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Not so much the "push back" thing, because I never had people giving me shit in the workplace, but I definitely started showing more value, acting more confident, etc, which put this guy out of the spotlight

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    How did you even provoke his bs? What did you change exactly that triggered him?

    I became less of a "close-personality" kind of guy, less of a "drone" in the office. I was good at my job (really good in comparison to the others), so I started taking advantage of that to show my value; I started acting more confident, teasing people more, having fun more, etc.

    This change of me was enough to put me on the spotlight. Girls would laugh at my jokes, try to suck up to me, and guys would ball bust with me, all in good nature. However, this guy didn't take it well that people would react well to me, and the fact that all I needed to get ahead of him was to be myself, pissed him off.

    He acted like an asshole who "had to teach me a lesson by social shaming me". His words were, to a coworker: "I'll criticize him to his face and behind his back, if he acts like a child, that's what he deserves", and he acted on it for months.

    Also how did you convince your bosses he needs to leave? This is relevant for people who might find themselves in a similar situation.

    I didn't, I just laid the facts in front of them and they made that decision. He was acting like a bully towards a couple of other coworkers in a passive-aggressive way so I intervened and told my bosses not only that, but all the crap he had said and done during the last year. I also emphasized how the environment changed in the workplace because of him, and how we cannot go in everyday ready to fight with "insecure asshole X" because we don't know when he's on his "lady days"...

    My bosses also didn't take well how he insulted them in front of others for no reason, and acted on it. We are all aware that gossip is inevitable, but you cannot call your boss "a useless fucker" just to make people laugh during coffee breaks and then, the moment you see your boss, become all nice and warm to him and try to make him laugh.

    Same thing with me, treating me one way in public, one way in private, and so forth...

    [–]Velebit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So you just kinda begun to be more social and he was taking that as an encroachment on his territory lol? Those bosses seem to have been unaware, how did you prove it, did they just take your word for how he is behaving?

    [–]trppr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    why do you feel bad?

    well played.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    He's an asshole.

    Hopefully this teaches him a lesson.

    Just don't make a habit of using this strategy.

    Also, strive to get to a point where you'll never have to do this again, either through a change in workplace/situation or continuing to improve yourself physically and mentally.

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Also, strive to get to a point where you'll never have to do this again, either through a change in workplace/situation or continuing to improve yourself physically and mentally.

    Well, to be fair, it wasn't something I planned. I tried to ball bust him back, he would budge. I tried to pick a fight with him the old way, he wouldn't budge. I tried to ignore him, he wouldn't budge.

    He got into his head that I had to be put down no matter what unless I changed my behavior, so I had no choice but to eliminate him. It's like he thought that whatever value I had because of my professional abilities was actually meaningless, and he had to make sure people see that. He had to make sure that the only thing that mattered was your social standing (his strong point) and so he acted on that premise.

    And if it wasn't because my bosses are meritocratic, I would have been in trouble long time ago because of this fucker...

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Fair enough.

    A lot of the advice on this sub and TRP is rather machiavellian and sometimes indirect.

    I'll tell you what I did once that cut through the BS that it seems like you were dealing with: I started exactly describing out loud what the person was doing.

    There was this dipshit named Jeremy where I once worked that I made insecure, but he was more naturally social than me and manipulative.

    When he would bust my balls harshly (while being sugary sweet to others), I'd say something like "Jeremy likes to pick somebody out that he has some issue with and then be cruel to them in a seemingly joking manner because it makes him feel better about himself while covering his true intentions".

    I did that about 3 times and his look was priceless, and everyone else that saw what was going on smiled. It broke him.

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I always thought this strategy wouldn't work with the guy because he was accustomed to treat me like a child. Like, saying something about me, I reply, and then he looks at some girl and laugh like an asshole, aware that he got to me...

    If he framed everything as mocking me and making me the clown, it doesn't matter what you say, people know he's doing it to piss with you.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    The other thing to do is to remove attention. It's like training a dog.

    Someone pisses on you? Walk away. Don't try to interact to get one over. Just respect yourself enough to take yourself out of a bad environment. Do not engage and give them attention or more to work with.

    [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I agree, but I wasn't gonna leave that job because of him, so I was stuck in that environment. I was ok with everyone else, so it was about putting an end to his crap.

    I tried to ignore him for a very long time, and you know what that got to me? "hey, look at nix, "fucker" can mess with him all he wants, and he won't say shit back". That's what it got me.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Let's say you recorded him talking crap about his bosses and then played that recording to them. They'd have fired him on just that, right? It's not you that caused this - it's his behavior coming to light.

    I like this idea of yours where you limit information and see how people abuse the information you give them. Make sure you keep that in your toolbox to spot toxic people and gossips in the future.

    [–]MilkManDanIsTheMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You did the right thing. If he thinks hes alpha but he is a bitch he might try to vandalize your car or something so be vigilant

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    wait, do you feel guilty about something?

    read a book "When I say no I feel guilty"

    [–]wheresMYsteakAt -3 points-2 points  (32 children)

    I think you are a bitch but I think this post is a good lesson for guys to remember. Be careful what you say around women, they gossip.

    All the weights and looks in the world wont help you when some faggot records you in the break room telling a coworker how you'd love to fuck Suzy or how the boss is a moron.

    Women seek protection from more powerful men to solve their problems. Don't be OP.

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]wheresMYsteakAt 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      Because instead of dealing with it himself either through AMOGing him back or ignoring the guy he went to people above and told on the guy for talking shit about the bosses? Seriously, if a guy goes to a boss about being bullying by another guy and it's just words...you wouldn't view that guy as a bitch? Just seems weak and not a strategy that would be reliable if you want to live a lfie of self reliance.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I guess it worked out but everyone now hates you as well

      [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      you mean people hate me now?

      [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Because instead of dealing with it himself either through AMOGing him back or ignoring the guy he went to people above and told on the guy for talking shit about the bosses?

      I tried to AMOG him back, he wouldn't change. I tried to pick a fight with him the old fashioned way, he wouldn't change. I tried to ignore him, he wouldn't change.

      He would just stick to his guns and keep hammering me because a couple people enjoyed it. So, I wasn't gonna let a jealous fucker make my life miserable on a job I liked, so I took him out.

      Just seems weak and not a strategy that would be reliable if you want to live a lfie of self reliance.

      You are right. I took more than a year to get rid of this asshole, and it was only because he wouldn't cut the crap. I don't care if he didn't like me or he thought I was childish or whatever, he would either behave and stop trying to turn everyone against me, or I would take him down and get him out of my life... guess which one works.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]qitjch 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Exactly. If OP went head to head with this dude it would likely just cause issues for himself and everyone else in the office. He made the right call and took the information to his bosses and then they made the decision to fire him. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone else also wanted this guy gone with how he was behaving, but they were likely too afraid to do anything about it.

        [–]Nix54[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Exactly, except that I tried everything and nothing worked, even trying to pick a fight with him... The asshole was a coward.

        Regarding the others, it's a mix bag. Many despised him, others where indifferent, other loved him, others liked him but were only sheeps, so now that he's gone, they kind of let him go.

        Except for the few who actually love his sorry ass, the others are happy/indifferent with him gone.

        [–]UniversalFapture 5 points6 points  (15 children)

        How is he a bitch?

        [–]krick3t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is the reason why I love working construction.

        [–]lukmeg -1 points0 points  (6 children)

        Corporate game is like that, feminized. You can not be a traditional alpha in a corporate environment in the present times.

        If you want to talk shit and banter, you have to do it outside of corporate hours and in a different social group. While in the corporate environment you have to act like a good little bitch.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]lukmeg 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          My point is that in the past the corporate world was not so feminized. You could trashtalk and banter and it was seen as normal "boys will be boys".

          What does that have to do with what you are saying?

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]lukmeg 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            We have only one version. But in any case, my comment was in response to another comment, not to the main thread and I still fail to see how your comment addresses mine.

            [–]Nix54[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            We have only one version.

            I did acted up and pissed him off with my behavior. But I never attacked him in any way. It was more like "if I keep acting like this, people will keep on liking me, and he will fall to the background". So, he did whatever was in his power to make me change, that fucking asshole...

            You know how chad can get away with shit because, well, he's chad? Well, that was me. I wasn't chad, but I was good enough at work to get away with stuff. And just like a beta prick will try to undermine chad, this asshole tried to undermine me. But I cannot go into the office both willing to do my job AND willing to deal with a prick like this...

            You know what he told a mutual friend of ours? He said: "I he really was the cause of me getting fired, he's a piece of shit and the worst of the worst. And still... I don't understand why people keep following him, maybe it's just me, but I just don't get it..."

            When he showed me that text, I confirmed, finally, how jealous he really was, and how much he deserved what he got for trying to shame me into submission...

            [–]Nix54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Corporate game is like that, feminized. You can not be a traditional alpha in a corporate environment in the present times.

            Exactly. The most alpha I managed to get in my office was about being "professionally" independent in the team, and not being afraid of expressing ideas or facing those in charge.

            Banter? Ok, it can fly. Shit-talking about people who are not in the room so that your coworkers will see them in a negative light when they come in in the next 10 minutes? fuck that shit.

            But it's not because the workplace is feminized, it's because the moment you take away any measure of self-control, you end up, like I did, with an asshole who thinks he's alpha because he can insult you to your face and the bosses to their backs and you can't do shit because, of course, you kind of care about the job...

            [–]RahBah218 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

            That wasn't very nice.

            [–]ilikemychickenfried 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The asshole fucking him around or the fact that the was hole got fired?