On reacting to dopamine and addiction craving... What is your go to right before you feel like you’re going to give in? (self.asktrp)

submitted by GhostYourself4IDo

I have unequivocally come to believe that dopamine is an evil mistress of the devil.

I have several reasons in my brain that are completely apparent to me as to why it is awful to involve myself in any of these behaviors that simultaneously release dopamine and are get me nowhere.

With that said, I also understand that I can only quit so much at once. Eventually, though, these things will be to me, what soda was 9 years ago when I stopped drinking it; meaningless. I don’t crave soda whatsoever because I have replaced it with water. And, I couldn’t even tell you what soda tastes like... so there isn’t a way to crave it.

However, there are a few other habits I want to quit. These have a stronger hold on me (fucking randoms constantly, spending money that doesn’t need to be spent, eating brown rice when there is sweet potato right in front of me).

Now, most times I able to control myself, but others the urge is strong. What do I do at these exact moments when I feel as though I am going to give up or notice myself making excuses?

Once again, I know why I shouldn’t do it, but I am at a point where I am more and more constrained in my life, and I sometimes say, ‘Ah what the hell’.

I want to stop this, ‘what the hell,’ now that it’s been a while of it and move to cutting each out completely.

Any suggestions on how to do so greatly appreciated. Thanks.

EDIT: someone said none of the stuff I listed is bad. I see it as not that good. I’d rather eat sweet potato than processed grains. I would rather not chase after my urge of crushing pussy and instead be more in control.

In other words, I don’t want to give into my urges just because. Why is smashing pussy all the time good? What because someone at TRP said so? Because it’s in our biology? Well, our biology also wants us to “feel good.” Hence why dopamine exists as a chemical that our brain produces. Does that mean I should go out and buy some heroin and give my biology what it wants?

I should be and want to be more selective with women, instead of sleeping with any girl throwing it at me.

But, more importantly, I want to be more in control of myself, not give into to things, that even though may not be “that bad,” aren’t really great either. Keeping the dopamine low so it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I want to end up the opposite of Charlie Sheene, and not constantly needing to push my pleasure threshold higher. Because... yup, you guessed it, there is no ceiling for pleasure.

[–]third3y3guy 48 points49 points  (1 child)

There are 2 kinds of pain. The pain of regret and the pain of discipline. Only one yields positive results.

[–]BloodSweatandFears 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Based and redpilled

[–]AwkwardEmpath 34 points35 points  (1 child)

I've found meditation to be really helpful. Practicing mental discipline; clearing my thoughts and focusing on my breath, has let me firmly remove a thought like "oh man just have one beer or 2 cookies" from my thought process before it even has a chance to erode my will power. The less time you spend fighting the urge the more successful you'll be.

[–]Count_Giggles 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i second this. Mindfullness really helps. "russ harris's - the happiness trap" is a good introduction for the topic.

But i think it is much more about discipline in your case. For example - my mindset for the gym is - "you will never regret going to the gym but you will always regret not having gone" at some point your frustration from giving in to those urges or being to lazy to cook the mean you actually want will be enough to keep you from indulging. till then its willpower until it becomes a habit not to cave

[–]GoldenCocaine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Meditation and mindfulness are definitely good. Try to remind yourself of the long-term. Your goal, and how to get there. Write down your goal, next write down what you must do to obtain that goal. Remind yourself regularly to keep your eye on the prize. Nothing worth achieving is easy to do/obtain

[–]lurktolearn 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Every one is giving the same answer, so here is a new one.

Get rid of what’s leading you to give into your urges. For example, you want to eat more sweet potatoes, so buy more sweet potatoes and less brown rice.

Let’s say you masturbate but you want to stop. One way to stop is either: leave the room before you masturbate, turn off the computer/phone, go lift, go read etc.

Do everything to distract you from your urges.

Get the gist?

Just my 2 cents.

[–]priapula 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Theres a comment or post by an EC that I read a while ago but cant find. It talked about how you will never win against your biology. So instead of trying to resist so much, plan everything so that it is in your favor.

For instance, instead of resisting sweets, dont have any around you. Never sleep around your phone, cause you will waste your time. The first thing you should do when at home/waking up should be productive.

Also, cold showers help a lot too with discipline and willpower. Exposing yourself to discomfort builds discipline.

[–]bookloverphile 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Are you not wanting the brown rice? Lol. Isnt it just as healthy as sweet potatoes?

[–]ihateyouguys -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

They’re different, nutritionally

[–]opper-hombre1 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Are sweet potatoes “better” for you than brown rice? Don’t really care, just curious as I am a HUGE brown rice eater. Lol

[–]mrmr69 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Brown rice contains phytic acid which binds to many micronutrients so your body won't be able to absorb them.

[–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats what ive read but i didnt know if anyone else knew about that or how much science backed it up

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be more mindful.

My issue was porn, the result of a sexually abstinent childhood. I'd be sitting in my room studying, and suddenly I couldn't focus at all till I rubbed one out.

What worked for me was acknowledging when this took place -- literally getting it together long enough to think "I am doing X Y and Z right now, thinking about A B and C, which clearly acts as a trigger".

If that doesn't kill the momentary urge (sometimes it will), eventually you will be able to anticipate a few moments before the "switch of desire" will be thrown, and you can remove yourself from the situation by taking a walk or something.

The key isn't to use superhuman willpower to break a bad habit. Figure out what causes it and avoid the scenario altogether. E.g. don't bring sweets into your house, because you know you have a history of uncontrollable snacking.

That doesn't mean having sweets around is bad, it just means it's bad for you.

I have unequivocally come to believe that dopamine is an evil mistress of the devil.

Dopamine is what allows you to get things done. Otherwise you'd sit in your room and starve to death. What you probably meant is high dopamine activities are evil.

Sperg-like typing, I know.

someone said none of the stuff I listed is bad.

Report those comments and the mods will come in for special cleanup, they review the mod queue regularly. Such comments are unhelpful at best.

[–]opper-hombre1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you’re too impulsive and need more self-control. Like someone else mentioned; meditation. It’s good to help ‘free your mind’ aka think more clearly and be more conscious of every decision you make. Like when you choose brown rice instead of sweet potatoes you can think to yourself like “I want the brown rice but I know that sweet potatoes is better for me and I will still enjoy it”. Meditation just helps to slow your mind from the constant lighting-fast production that is going on up there and allows for more conscious decision-making.

Also, none of your impulses are inherently “bad”, but I understand you do not want to indulge in those easy dopamine receiving activities. Instead, I suggest you focus on a long-term project that will fuel your focus and attention to achieve a long term goal. That will truly deliver the well earned dopamine you crave, but want to work for. Good luck brotha

[–]SilkTouchm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have unequivocally come to believe that dopamine is an evil mistress of the devil.

You're wrong. Dopamine is the only thing keeping us going forward.

[–]Shtafoo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What's wrong with brown rice, lmao

[–]moreinhoe -1 points0 points  (6 children)

I say you need to learn some self respect. Don't be a bitch.

I emphasise the need to respect myself. I don't love myself unconditionally. If I want to respect the person I see on the mirror, I need to succeed in doing the things I set out to do.

I will hate myself if I do the following endorphin inducing things:

  • Masturbate
  • Listen to music beyond my 2hr a week allowance
  • Don't jump out of bed and snooze
  • Make poor meal choices
  • Drink beyond my once every two weeks allowance

If any of the above occur, I'll look in the mirror and say, "fuck you man, you're better than this."

Be accountable to yourself and make sure you fee like shit when you fail so it'll push you to be better.

[–]ghosts_of_me 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Music allowance, why?

[–]moreinhoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too easy a dopamine hit. I react strongly to music. I would often feel euphoric. Easy high without any work, it would make me lazy

[–]mattymca 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Commenting to hear the response to this... seems really arbitrary.

[–]ghosts_of_me 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Maybe this guy finds that he can focus better without it, avoiding sensory multitasking or something like that.

I hope the two hours he gives himself a week sound amazing, and hes not just one of those freaks who dont like music.

[–]mattymca -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah I suppose that might be it. Now that I think about it I seldom ever listen to music unless I'm at the gym or doing menial tasks for work.

[–]BloodSweatandFears -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Based and redpilled

[–]xddm2653 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

fucking randoms constantly, spending money that doesn’t need to be spent, eating brown rice when there is sweet potato right in front of me

none of those are bad, except the money part which you should just increase your net worth so you can spend as you please