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A Man Tried to Seduce My GF in Front of Me (self.asktrp)

submitted by AllainMC

We were in a pub when a man invited us to his table. Let's call him Daniel.

He was with a few (male) friends. He looked like a geek -- fat, big beard, huge glasses, etc. We talked a bit; he was fun.

Then, he bought a beer to my GF. She said, "Thanks. My BF never buys me anything."

I smiled. Daniel started to ignore me and asked lots of questions to my GF. His male friends were talking among them. I was cornered.

She didn't seem too much into him, though.

At one point, Daniel got closer to my GF and touched her very lightly.

Afterwards, I got up, smiled to Daniel, shook his hand and thanked him for the good time. "I came here to spend some time alone with my GF, however. We haven't seen each other in a while."

Daniel seemed shocked. My GF was confused. 10 minutes later, he invited two random girls to his table. She said, "Oh my God. Was he trying to seduce me?"

To which I said yes. She seemed genuinely surprised. Then, she said, "Those girls aren't even pretty. I can't believe he tried to do that in front of you."


I don't know what to think of this incident. Any experienced RP users have any thoughts about this? Did she really have no idea? Did I overreact? What did she mean by "Those girls aren't even pretty"? Etc.


[–]imatahigherplace 82 points83 points  (10 children)

You successfully held frame, good job.

Your girlfriend's "those girls aren't even pretty" comment is more of her hamstering away that Daniel really didn't give a shit about what quality of girls he was talking to, as long as they were receptive. She didn't feel like a special snowflake anymore.

[–]RobertCarraway 24 points25 points  (7 children)

I just developed a plan for when (if) something similar to this happens to me in the future. I'll share it for collective use:

"If you're going to hit on (or buy a drink for) RobertCarraway's girl, you need to buy him a drink too. That's the rule." THEN, after the drink is bought, start a running commentary of how he is doing, and give him tips:

"She likes cats, talk about cats"

"That was a harsh comment, but I think you can rebound from it."

Use it as a genuine opportunity to have fun. You'll completely massacre his game. He'll get sick of that quick.This will only work if you can truly show amused mastery, so if you feel threatened by him it's probably not the way to go.

[–]Lsegundo 5 points6 points  (2 children)

hahaha The message is you're such a fucking loser you don't have any chance with my girl even with me coaching you.

[–]RobertCarraway 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Exactly. You're slightly bored. Indifferent. Make it clear you are thinking, "I'll just finish my fried pickles over here while this ass-clown does his thing."

[–]trpthrowaway2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]helpmebemoreofadikk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fucking hilarious. After 5-10 minutes of being cheeky like that I wouldn't be able to keep myself from outright blasting the guy with something like "You can't even game her when I'm feeding you her deep dark secrets?" while maintaining that cheeky, demeaning attitude.

[–]BrodinsOats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was at a music festival with a couple bros when we opened up a group of 3 girls. A guy who we hadn't realized was with them said "good luck fellas" and passed us a joint with a wry smile.

Well-handled on his part.

[–]OnlyTRP -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Self cucking yourself works?

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep.

[–]RPmatrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is pretty much it OP, you did fine

I wouldnt worry, nothing happened, don't make a storm in a teacup, ever!

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (12 children)

It's hard to tell if she knew.

I'm now of the opinion that women are selectively socially retarded.

As a guy/decent person, I have a little egg timer in my head.

If I linger too long talking to someone that is likely to be socially inappropriate, then I change things up.

For instance, if a guy's wife is talking to me too long while ignoring her husband, then I either leave or purposefully include the guy, often by changing my physical location so he is in the fold. I do this simply because I'm not an asshole.

If women are enjoying attention, then their self-centered nature can prevent them from seeing the obvious sometimes.

Just watch them walking around in impractical clothing with paint on their faces. They are ridiculous creatures.

[–]D-White 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Just watch them walking around in impractical clothing with paint on their faces. They are ridiculous creatures.

Love realist perspectives like this. It's funny that we forget how bizarre some of the things women do are when you think about it.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The other thing that gets me is showing their bodies in public in a way that is obviously for attention, especially when they are with their SO. It is so unsubtle to have your tits popping out at walmart, it's like they have a big sign blaring "Look at me!". It's like a child acting up to get attention and all the adults in the room know it.

[–]moosedeath -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

And yet, when women don't do those things, men get upset, and deride them for letting themselves go, or cheat, or dump them.

So, how is a woman doing those things any more bizarre than a man applying RP concepts?

[–]D-White 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Why are you trying to equate the two? The sexes are different. It just so happens many men find women to be ridiculous in their antics. Who gives a fuck if women find men ridiculous? I'm not subscribed to subreddits that discuss how strange men are to women.

[–]trpthrowaway2003 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]frrunkis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RP concepts

Because these things usually involve the guy improving himself in some way and adding value to the world

[–]juliusstreicher 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I know-just think, they have no idea how they're affecting men in the bars!

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They also claim social naivety for their plausible deniability.

They know, but unlike men, they'd rather be thought stupid than malicious.

[–]moosedeath 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Do you only go after women who wear practical clothing and do not wear paint on their faces?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice try.

[–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

-Ridiculous creatures 😂👍

[–]SpinPlates 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Of course she knew.

You did well.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She seemed genuinely surprised

Right. Women are so innocent they would never guess the guy had intentions other than being friendly. Come on, man. Wake up.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

When women do this then (let a guy hit on them in front of you), are they doing it mostly to get attention or make you jealous or to test you?

Come to think of it, so long as they have plausible deniability, there is no reason for a woman not to do this unless they are a decent person that actually cares about your feelings or they are afraid of losing you.

I broke it off with a girl for doing this same thing (well, that was the final straw), and she was generally shocked that it pissed me off that she sat and flirted with a man for an extended period right in my face.

[–]SpinPlates 4 points5 points  (1 child)

All of the above. There is no loss in letting a guy hit on her. She gets attention. She gets to test you and she gets to widen her potential social circle and professional networking.

[–]trpthrowaway2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]RatBastardJones 38 points39 points  (2 children)

She knew. lol.

Your situation sounds a little extreme compared to normal. You didn't overreact. Probably shouldn't have let it get that far.

It also sounds like your girlfriend was making fun of you for not knowing.

[–]Chad_Thundercock69 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Absolutely, I have no idea why girls play the innocence game with things like this

[–]Cunt_Robber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have an upvote for your sarcasm

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

"Oh my God. Was he trying to seduce me?"

Two choices:

  1. She is retarded, which isn't good for you
  2. She isn't, but you trust she believes it, which means...

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Which means he is retarded.

Amirite?

[–]CleverLime 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've read a similar question here, a couple of months ago. A very fun and good advice was given imho.

Help him pick her up :) Hold frame, don't get angry. Be confident and show him you're the alpha.

[–]kappaccount 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She most definitely knew that he was trying to seduce. Girls has a sixth sense of this, especially hot ones: think about it, they've been hit on by guys all their lives, they can see signs of attraction coming from a mile away.

She seemed genuinely surprised.

Don't ever buy into that naive and innocent act they like to put up. Girls know.

 

You handled it fine. The only thing I'd add, is simply to give less of a fuck. Focus more on enjoying yourself and have a good time; talk to the other guys, talk to Daniel even, without minding his interest in your girlfriend. It's fine that other men like your girl, don't let it concern you when they want to talk with her. Either take control of the situation if necessary, or simply stop giving a fuck.

Worst case, you'll realize your girl is a slut and isn't worth your time - best case, your girl will be attracted to your attitude and stay loyal for a longer period of time.

 

"Those girls aren't even pretty", was her getting back at Daniel, for ever so rudely thieving away her precious sensation of being a snowflake. She realized it was nothing about her in particular, Daniel just wanted some pussy to drool over, and your girlfriend took offense to that.

When an overweight man, who your girlfriend would probably deem below her, treated her like she was nothing new, it hit her right on the ego and that feeling of helplessness annoyed the hamster out of her.

Something I can imagine myself doing in this situation is tease her a bit with the fact that she's obviously offended by his lack of interest in her. Laugh at her a little and move on. It's just her being a woman after all.

[–]bittr_n_swt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She fucking knew she was being seduced. She disrespected you by not talking to you

[–]slurmfactory 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good reaction when you realized it. She probably didnt know because he sounds beta enough for her to not have even considered him. Sounds like he was a desperate dude going after anything he can get, and you realized it and bounced. Good job, always satisfying to "win" these situations. Just keep an eye out and youll do fine.

[–]flatox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should have taken the beer and asked him if he wasn't also gonna get one for your girl.

[–]NiceTryDisaster 1 point2 points  (12 children)

Also can experienced RPers advice on what the best way to act in such situations?

[–]Apexk9 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Don't take the invite to the table.

I'd say "looks like the tables all full up and pat my belly"

[–]juliusstreicher 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Don't take the invite to the table.

Def. Or, as soon as gf gets her drink, walk her away to the bar or another table.

[–]AllainMC[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't take the invite to the table.

Clearly I'll be more careful about that. Guess I was too naive.

[–]cozgw 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't sit as his table in the first place.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

I know it sounds like fun to take your GF to a bar, but ultimately it is foolish.

Why take your girl somewhere that guys go to to pick up girls?

Simply taking your girl to a bar and both of you drinking is seen as an invite by many men to flirt and dance with her. If you cared about such things, then why would you have brought her?...will be their thought because that is what happens at bars....and it's all just innocent fun, right?

EDIT: typo

[–]trpthrowaway2003 0 points1 point  (1 child)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]upvoteguy2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well considering you dont own the girl and it's just your turn, well it's impossible to have her stolen from you. She volunteered.

[–]rptime77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just say No and go back to your conversation

[–]capnpirate 0 points1 point  (1 child)

To the dude trying to pick her up, chuckle and say "here are some lines that I find work on her" and make up shit... "Your eyes remind me of my great aunt Sally, my favorite great aunt", "nice shoes. Let's fuck." He'll get the point eventually and fuck off. That or she'll get tired of the hijinks and tell him she's not interested to make him stop.

Or

Watch her behavior. If she's trying to make you jealous, act disaffected and disinterested. If she's becoming inappropriate and escalating, dump her ass. If she's just getting free drinks, then whatever... He's the retard for thinking he could bed your chick.

[–]anotherswingingdick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she's just getting free drinks, then she's still walking a line that runs smack into disrespect to you

....fixed it for you

[–]cuteman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You went to a bar to be alone with your girlfriend?

[–]deci-mator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course she had an idea. She knew exactly what was going on. She was shit testing you to see how you would react. She was trying to extract a reaction from you. She wanted to see you struggle to get back her attention. She wanted to see how you would react when another man wants her. She wanted you to come out and be overprotective. And that last part where she said she had no idea... she was trying to play innocent and not be held accountable for her actions

[–]3rt41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How to handle guys hitting on your girlfriend/wife explained by Don Draper from Mad Men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXnoPasZdkA

[–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe he was going for a 3-way... I've seen it happen before. Obviously he was aware of your presence and thought you might be receptive to it... If not a 3 way then he was risking getting his ass kicked.

[–]rptime77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You were beta for shaking his hand and justifying leaving his company. Seriously wtf dude. The same thing happened to me a while ago and I just told the guy to fuck off.

[–]clint_bronson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey kudos for Daniel to have the balls to try it, if only he gets in shape, trims his beard, get lenses he'll be a force to be reckoned with, or maybe not, after all he still buys ladies drinks, what a moron!

[–]YoureAfuckingRobot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a very gentleman like approach to ending the situation. Good for you. I once was at a pub with my gf and when I came back from the bathroom two dudes were sitting at our table, one beside her and right as I approached he attempted to touch her arm. I yelled (no exaggeration), "what the fuck are you doing?"

He didn't say anything and they both scurried off. Funny though because I'm not a big guy nor am I threatening but I had a lot of liquid courage by that point. Had they decided to confront me I probably would not be sharing this story as it would not have ended in my favour. Gf loved it though.

[–]ecosci -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Next time she does this go and fuck one of her friends or least try to that a fix this shit test, now go on.