Girlfriend excited by bigger men (self.asktrp)

submitted by davos224

I am a well built confident man but I’m only 5ft7, the same height as my girlfriend. Ordinarily things are great and we have a good LTR. However when we are in the presence of a much bigger men eg a well built 6ft 4 man her personality and body language changes. She will subconsciously follow him across the room with here eyes and be extra friendly giving out multiple IOI’s. I know her very well and when her behaviour is abnormal and flirtatious. How do I handle this?

Will women generally always prefer more physically big men?

EDIT: This also happens with black men.

[–]quicklogaccount 128 points129 points  (14 children)

She will subconsciously follow him across the room with here eyes and be extra friendly giving out multiple IOI’s.

It's not unconscious. She's attracted and she wants to know if he noticed her too, so she'll hint and flirt to test his receptiveness.
Your girlfriend has a "price" to do something "wrong" or to leave you, and is ACTIVELY looking for someone to pay this price.
Some women's prices are as high as the guy orbiting them for a while and hinting that they'll commit to them after they dump their partners. Some women's prices are as low as the guy being discreet and not compromising her relationship with you.

will women always prefer more physically big men?

At any moment, if a guy she perceives as more attractive than you gives her hints of interest, she'll resent being committed or cheat.
The BEST chicks don't ACTIVELY seek out these men and sexually shut and unavailable while committed. The guy has to insist a bit before she accepts his attentions.
The bare minimum for LTRs is chicks not ACTIVELY seeking these men. If they show up, they respond. There are a LOT of girls like this.
The FIRST level of shitty gals are the ones that collect a lot of pretty boys they call friends and flirt the shit out of them, but not when they're around you.
Your girl is ADVANCED shitty. She does it in front of you. She is disrespecting you, she knows she is, she assumes it brings you distress and anxieties because it would bring her those feelings if you did it, BUT she doesn't care and uses some technicality to dismiss or belittle your pain: "I'm not flirting, you're being a pussy, paranoid".

How do I handle this (...)?

If you want to "give her a chance":
When you're with her and a chick that's obviously strong in traits she's weak at and sensitive about (for instance a fit chick if your gal is overweight), eyefuck the chick. If your girlfriend doesn't react, run your A game on the chick.
Your chick HAS to learn. She HAS to be on her toe tips and trying her best to impress you after what she did, to even deserve a chance.

Hard next. Generic, unsolvable excuse. Just end it.

Working and fair solution:
Select some good pictures of yourself, read PUA material to get yourself in shape after some time out of the market, maybe get yourself physically in shape too if you let yourself go. There is no need to go for some time without sex while you do these, she's basically keeping you until something better comes along.
When you're ready and confident you'll get back into the market slaying hard, break up, use the pics to make hook up apps account, fuck bitches.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 19 points20 points  (1 child)

holy shit did how good was what ive just read

[–]MindFuktd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just brilliant. This guy gets it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]quicklogaccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I get your point, I took a wild guess on her behavior there, too, because hitting the nail with this sort of stuff is what it often takes to wake some folks up.
    But even without OP's explicit information on these topics, he said she changes her behavior. Whether she's aware of the cause or not, the change is conscious.

    There are a lot of chicks around that are so needy they flirt on every guy though.

    [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]hb8only -1 points0 points  (8 children)

    The BEST chicks don't ACTIVELY seek out these men and sexually shut and unavailable while committed.

    so.. AWALT is not 100% true..? there are best chicks and the rest of them..? hypergamy101???

    [–]quicklogaccount 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    This is awalt:

    At any moment, if a guy she perceives as more attractive than you gives her hints of interest, she'll resent being committed or cheat.

    And there's the parallel for men, to. The sexual strategies men and women adopt are concurrent, one's optimization is the disgrace of the other.
    HOW each individual will act towards this fact is what determines whether he or she is shitty or not.

    No woman will ever stop being a woman for you. She won't ever stop being hypergamous. My standing is that the best she can do is not to actively pursuit it AND to have strong barriers towards other men, so mildly valuable men are turned off by how hard to get she'll be. The second best is to at LEAST not to actively pursue them.
    Past these two, plate material only.
    It's not hard to draw a gender bended parallel.

    [–]AlfredKinsey 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    No woman will ever stop being a woman for you.

    This needs to be immortalized somewhere on the sub/sphere.

    Is this shit original?

    [–]quicklogaccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Is this shit original?

    I doubt it is an original idea, but google just told me the phasing is new.

    [–]Voshe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    The problem is that she's not willing to commit. It's extremely simple, OP is not her price.

    [–]quicklogaccount 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Man, as of these days I tend to believe that mildly confident women are cool waiting single for a guy. They can totally fuck chads meanwhile and no one will raise fingers at them.
    Only fucking insecure chicks must act like this these days. They're EAGER to commit because having one on the basket gives them confidence to hit the market, confidence they'd lack otherwise. Being committed is only a mild inconvenience that they try to tend by making it social standard to flirt a lot while committed.

    [–]adam_varg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Read again what awalt means. Its not 'all women will do that' but 'all women are capable of do that'

    [–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    it's all women are like that but ok I got your point...

    [–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's true but there is a difference how a woman behaves in an LTR. Still on tinder? Still attention whoring on instagram? Still doing ladies nights out and partying? Not LTR material.

    Not searching actively means she will not do above things but if Chad approaches her while grocery shopping, then she might bite nonetheless.

    [–]hibloodstevia 73 points74 points  (5 children)

    Next. Women who don't do this are not too hard to find, so find one of them.

    [–]davos224[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    I don’t think it’s conscious, maybe a form of branch swinging?

    [–]hibloodstevia 70 points71 points  (1 child)

    It changes nothing, it's actually better that it's unconscious. It shows her true self and where her interests lie.

    Dump her before you come home one day and she is getting pounded out by a football player. It's only a matter of time.

    [–]htbf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    "it shows her true self"... You mean you didn't notice she was a woman?

    [–]Metalageddon 20 points21 points  (0 children)


    I've dated several taller than me. Zero wandering eyes while I was present. Never had an issue.

    Height is, unfortunately or not, a real booster in smv, but at the same time your value is aggregate. If she's wandering subconsciously wait a while, she'll wander consciously too. Then physically.

    There's plenty of girls who don't wander, either that or upgrade your smv/move to a better local.

    [–]xXxOrcaxXx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    She is attracted to them. Ok. For her desire she is blameless, but if she acts on it, then she is responsible. I think that distinction is most important. Make it clear that you will only act responsible towards her, if she does the same to you. Does that mean she isn't allowed to flirt? No. But if she takes it too far, there wont be second chances.

    The kicker is that, the way you portrayed it, that she does this even when you are present, which leads me to believe that there is atleast an issue with your relationship. Many here say you should next her. I'd say you have to make your own decision. Is she worth trying to fix the relationship? Or do you want to take the easy way out?

    [–]Hector_Castillo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Lots of information not here.

    How fast did you fuck her?

    Who pushed for the relationship?

    What's your lay count?

    Do you give her orgasms?

    What's HER lay count?

    Does she party a lot?

    As for the big guys thing, I mean, it's natural for a girl to be attracted to others. Any guy who says that their girl never thinks about another guy is delusional. But there's a big difference between a girl saying, "I think that guy is hot/cute" and her fucking him.

    As for the black guy thing, it's culturally popular to sleep with non-White guys. Black, latino, Middle Eastern, etc. Girls do have preferences, but I've fucked girls who almost exclusively fuck black guys (actually a lot. I learned a lot of my game from black guys so my style they seem to dig). Also, being exotic is hot. It's called the Invader Effect. He's in a foreign culture but is alive, thriving ,etc. He's successfully "invaded" the culture. It can suck, but keep improving yourself and you eliminate a lot of slight advantages, whether it's height, looks, build, race. Go to Korea and the girls will fawn over your white skin. Old, accomplished white friend of mine went to Africa and fucked like 10 girls in a week or two. Maybe she wants to try black dick. Can't hold that against her.

    I'm Latin and have had girls tell me how they love that I'm different/exotic. One white plate of mine from college used to call me "Flavor" to her friend, as in "I'm going to see Flavor tonight." I was her flavor amidst her white fuck-buddies.

    You'll never be the tallest/biggest guy in the room and it does help him, but there are A LOT of other variables. If she's checking guys out or something, not a big deal. If she's being friendly with them, ignore it and do your own thing. Never seen one girl on this Earth who only flirts with her boyfriend and ignores all other men. Doesn't exist. Now if she's approaching them and striking up conversation on her own...well, that's different.

    It doesn't sound like she's outright disrespected you. Or maybe you have some examples of when she did? Also, small problems aren't usually worth breaking up with a girl over, but everyone has their own line.

    It will suck to know/acknowledge all this, but if you don't push beyond it, it will consume you.

    I'm a big fan of agreeing with a girl if she says a guy is attractive. Notice your girlfriend checking out some guy?

    "Yeah, he's pretty attractive," nod your head and then move on. It works when picking up and seems to work in relationships.

    Or, sometimes, when it particularly annoys, just be extra stoic and ignore it. I've had my girlfriend tell me about guys she thinks are attractive or check guys out, and if I'm calm enough, I'm like "Yeah he's attractive," but if it annoys me, I'll just say "cool" and change the subject or ignore her.

    Also, I'm a shitlord with my girl. I check girls out all the time and will even approach girls with her around. I'll regularly invite her friends to have threesomes with us jokingly (one of them even said "maybe" and smiled but she's got a BF and my GF got jealous/mad so it's unlikely for now but who knows). I'm sure this sometimes invites retaliation, but it's better to fight fire with fire. She makes you jealous? Go approach some girl and show her why you ain't buggin'.

    If that's the extent of her behavior, I think you're okay, but if you could provide some more information, maybe I could help more.

    See this list I made a while back and figure out how good of a pick she was - https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7gp8ex/what_traits_should_you_look_for_in_a_potential/

    [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Read the Bitch Management Guide.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    All women do this.

    Not true. There are varying degrees, including (the best) when a woman is so into you that she shuts any advancements from the get go.

    [–][deleted]  (13 children)


    [–]davos224[S] 26 points27 points  (12 children)

    I probably should have mentioned, this mainly happens with black guys...

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Velebit 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      Eyeball asian girls

      [–]Yoasted 4 points5 points  (9 children)

      my fuckin gf does this too

      [–]Voshe 9 points10 points  (8 children)

      Ex, you mean.

      [–]Yoasted 0 points1 point  (7 children)

      Okay I agree with you to an extent but here's some context. She's fucked a black dude before told me had a very small dick and was confirmed by her friends. She did fuck him because he was black she told me. That was weird to hear. She's like a 6.5-7 where I am like atleast an 8.5 (6'4", muscular, charismatic, good face). She does this at the gym mainly but it could all be in my head because im being self-conscious. I've once beta-ly said, "Why have you been staring at this black guy the whole time", where she replied, "Im just trying to read his tattoos". She has a thing for tattoos so maybe?

      [–]waking-life 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      lol no

      [–]Yoasted 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]Yoasted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah that's fair

        [–]Voshe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Maybe..... maybe not.

        [–]Yoasted 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I worded that wrong, she definitely has a thing for tattoos, she has told me that before. Im tatted up so works for me.

        [–]Voshe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        She clearly has a thing for black dudes too, but your hamster is running overtime.

        [–]PB0034 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Fairly new here, but clearly she doesn’t respect your presence.

        Take the high ground or high ground will take you.

        [–]SpinPlates 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        That's all women bud. Same as men eyeing up perfect hourglass women.

        [–]damaged_goods420 6 points7 points  (5 children)

        Personally I would next as the fine gentlemen in the comments have already noted. Being a shorter dude makes shit like this unavoidable, even if you've already maxed out your smv (I would know being 5'6").

        Cut your losses, take a good hard look at your smv and use this time to improve yourself while picking up bitches on the side. As u/hibloodstevia noted, there are plenty of hoes that don't care as much about your height as your gf.

        [–]Hector_Castillo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        username checks out

        [–]damaged_goods420 1 point2 points  (0 children)


        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–]damaged_goods420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          No, I myself haven't maxed it out, I'm just saying there are always chicks that will care that you're short, even if you have a very high smv (or significantly higher than them).

          [–]Hector_Castillo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          username checks out yet again

          [–]mrpoopistan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          In my experience, if a woman is down with a shorter guy, she's solid about it. I have a female family whose husband is 5'6" (she's 5'1", but super cute). She stupidly loyal, and he dread games her constantly. He works away, so that's not hard to pull off. He's also one of those tough little fireplug fuckers you'd have to beat to death with a pipe if you got into a fight with him.

          That said, she only dated one guy who was taller than 6'. Simply put, she has never really had a thing for overly huge dudes.

          If your GF's eyes are visibly wandering when you're present and she's clearly not trying to gin up your jealousy level, you're probably not in a good spot.

          [–]redd_reality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          She will subconsciously follow him across the room with here eyes and be extra friendly giving out multiple IOI’s. I know her very well and when her behaviour is abnormal and flirtatious. How do I handle this?

          You don't. All you can do is maintain frame and out it out of your mind.

          Also, better or more decent women will mate guard themselves to a degree. Yes awalt. But some have enough respect for you to not disrespect you openly, in public.

          Will women generally always prefer more physically big men?

          Generally, yes. I'm 6'1", built like a brick shit house, and run around all summer at ~10%bf; girls I date still ogle bigger men than me. This is built in, human evolutionary behaviour.

          Your only tactic is to accept it and follow your own desires to stare at the hot little things that walk around in front of you, when you're out.

          If she makes you jealous, however, ditch her. It's not the fact she might do something, it's the fact you're emotionally compromised.

          Good luck.

          [–]deville05 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          well now you know her type. if galgadot was around you, your behavior would change too. attraction is primitive and instinctual. you cant logic it. I cannot say what this means for your relationship but there is nothing wrong or abnormal going on. everyone gets attracted to their type and also likes being flirted with. what that person does with that is what determines their character. you can also hire a big black guy to flirt with her when yr not around. If she lays with him, you know what to do. its gonna hurt though so you need to be ok with that. Better now than later. on the flip side, if she doesnt lay with him... you might also suspect her to do that in the future. I dont think you will be able to live with that unless you detach yourself emotionally. So maybe you just dont give her the tingles compared to a bigger guy. You can next her but whats to say the next girl will be hard into you. Maybe the problem is you. maybe you need to be the guy that they find hard to consider fucking up with

          [–]2comment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          It's only a matter of time.


          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          There's no set rule on how to handle this.

          I have girls do this to me at the gym (I'm 6' 205lbs) when they're with their boyfriends. They're just following their biological imperative. If you're a short guy this is just something you're going to have to learn to deal with. I would only next if it's becoming disrespectful to you.

          [–]davos224[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          So I just deal with the fact “my” girl is more attracted to other guys and keep going with it? Can it be disrespectful if it’s not overt?

          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          So I just deal with the fact “my” girl is more attracted to other guys

          Pretty much.

          If you were 6'3 and Chris Hemsworth walked into the room your girlfriend would still eye fuck the shit out of him.

          [–]alchamest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          So I just deal with the fact “my” girl is more attracted to other guys and keep going with it?

          Hell yeah, recognise you are not the MOST attractive guy in the world. You wont ever be #1.

          She wont be able to get and keep #1.

          But you never will be #1. She can be attracted to them, but so long as she does not break any boundaries you have and have made clear to her, there is no problem.

          Her being more attracted to some one is no different to you being attracted to a hotter chick than your gf.

          [–]chasebandz01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          jesus christ dude. get rid of her

          [–]Yonski3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          wow how can you not get rid of her? her actions are totally unacceptable dude.

          [–]MindFuktd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Dread. Seek other plates.

          [–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This sounds like the beginning to a porno

          [–]mugenowns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I'm a short guy and I've never noticed girls I'm with doing this. You should drop her immediately and replace her with 3 plates

          [–]HistrionicMind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Define 'good LTR'.

          [–]sihitu123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          So many upvotes, yet isnt this a troll? Also that edit!? :D wat

          You sure you arent dating a black chick? or is this the result of overly individualistic society? The state of america, baffling.

          [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Beginning to realise that most guys don't put anywhere near as much effort into anything in their life as trying to get laid. Like the majority of dudes if they put half as much effort into anything as trying to fuck would be Bill gates by now. They will fake being bill gates for one night to persuade a girl to give up pussy.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Thot alert

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          being so short it's a curse. I bet your girlfriend has chated on you at least 4 times.