Girl is asking if we fucked after a drunk night. (self.asktrp)

submitted by gijoemaximus

We fucked, how should I reply to this? She didn't get blackout drunk, but we were relatively very drunk at some point. She sent me a text asking if we fucked, it wasn't awkward drunk sloppy sex so I doubt that it was forgettable sex. She clearly enjoyed it.

This girl also has a boyfriend that she was in communication with during the whole night, and was constantly lying to him about who she is with and where she is right in front of me throughout the night. Big red flag on her part.

[–]abdada 174 points175 points  (7 children)

Might not be her, maybe her boyfriend sent a text using her phone.

Reply "lol, why would you say that? We were practically sober, you acted like a lady and all night you only talked about your boyfriend"

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Bro. Badass. Glad the guy who fucked my ex (gf at the time) hadn't read this advice.

[–]TheBrokenRuler 18 points19 points  (0 children)

OR she might be about to use that as "but I didn't consent, I was drunk, that was rape" so, denying in an amused way is probably best. Even if she is looking to dick down again, it's not worth the risks.

[–]Dirkz 23 points24 points  (2 children)


[–]Luis_McLovin 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Definitely, Amused Mastery.

Only other alternative is ghost, though AM works well here

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

And it doesn't even answer the question! That's the best part!

[–]iSnORtcHuNkz69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)


[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 75 points76 points  (2 children)


If you must reply, say "no".

Girl can't remember sex = you just admitted rape.

This girl also has a boyfriend

She's setting herself up for a rape alibi.

Edit: as mentioned elsewhere: don't reply. Saying no when she remembers yes = lying which she'll conflate in her head as rape. Saying yes when she can't remember = rape. There is no way to win here. Don't reply, do not have further contact with this woman. You have been warned.

Further Edit: you don't have to ignore her, just don't reply to this question. NEVER reply to this question.

[–]IBAR_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Further Edit: you don't have to ignore her

Upside vs downside of further contact?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Avoid contact if possible - but might be unavoidable if work or friends or for whatever reason she has access to your life.

I think this is a setup.

[–]topothebellcurve 35 points36 points  (11 children)

She may be hoping you txt no to use as evidence in the argument she is having with her bf right now.

[–]babybopp 34 points35 points  (10 children)

Or a rape claim.

[–]dongpal 9 points10 points  (9 children)

this or her boyfriend asked through their phone

[–][deleted]  (8 children)


    [–]GC0W30 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Crazy betas will absolutely do this shit.

    this must be some low class shit if it were the case.

    Crazy jealous is real. I helped an investigator with a murder case one time.

    The suspect killed his wife, his wife's lover (she was fucking her boss), and some dude who was just trying to make a purchase at the wife's job. Then himself.

    Don't put your dick in crazy, and be careful when putting your dick in married.

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Some betas are both bitter and crafty....

    [–]1oldredder 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    People actually do this. They'll run off with the phone or use it while she's in the shower, etc.

    Happens to my buddy all the damn time. He's got a lot of broads on the go but one in particular is overly curious AND feels no shame about snooping.

    [–]SinisterIntentions24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah I could see this, before I found trp I was a pretty insecure beta. Always thought my gfs were cheating on me before the relationship ended. Pretty dark times, makes me cringe now haha

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]2niczar 34 points35 points  (6 children)

        Pro-tip: if you're accused of something and absolutely have to answer, always deny, even in the face of evidence. You can always claim amnesia due to alcohol later. Also don't go into details.

        [–]TestosTyrone1 15 points16 points  (2 children)

        That's not a pro-tip. You need to know the evidence against you before you do something like that. If anyone can prove you lied about one thing, they will think you lied about everything

        [–]2niczar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        And if you don't deny they don't even need to prove anything.

        [–]1oldredder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You'll never get that chance.

        This is a pro-tip.

        Deny and when possible say nothing.

        [–]Cunt_Robber -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

        Yup. Be vague. Like "i kinda remember getting down with someone but I cant remember who, mightve been one of your friends" and put the ball back in her court to either deny it or to "refresh yor memory" and admit to remembering the encounter. Give her AND yourself plausible deniability

        [–]2niczar 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        That's too specific and not plausibly deniable. Deny and say as little as possible.

        [–]Cunt_Robber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Shit youre right, and the top comment is brilliantly insightful. Thanks trp, learned a new piece of wisdom today

        [–]Yashugan00 41 points42 points  (3 children)

        If you reply yes, you're setting yourself up for a rape charge. ASD will kick in and the hamster will create a post-fact world where clearly this was all you and she didn't even want it because she's not a bad girl, and so you must have forced her, and so you're a bad guy and clearly you deserve this.

        Answer no, if at all. She might know it's a lie, but it's in line with her feelings.

        [–]099v0s0d9 15 points16 points  (2 children)

        I see it the other way, if OP says that they didn't and she remembers having sex (which I think she does at least a little.. or else why would she ask?) OP's denial could make her think "shit, if he's denying it then he must have taken advantage of me.."

        If it were me I would probably tease her about something "Jesus, you don't remember? You seemed pretty keen.." That's honest and affirms the consent.

        [–]1oldredder 5 points6 points  (1 child)


        she was fully awake and texting her boyfriend while being fucked, as per other comments, so that scenario you're imagining is not possible.

        [–]099v0s0d9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Not sure you understood me correctly. I was saying that she probably remembers it.. if blurrily

        Also, I don't read it as she was texting while fucking.. OP can correct me if I'm wrong

        [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        "If you're not walking funny, then no."

        [–]Elodere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Uncle Vasiliy back at it again.

        [–]youcantdenythat 12 points13 points  (2 children)

        It could be the BF snooping in her phone. You shouldn't be texting her anyway.

        Personally I would ignore the text.

        [–]1oldredder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yet another reason why "texting is for logistics" and that AIN'T logistics.

        Simple rules save your ass.

        [–]099v0s0d9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        True, could be, but I would only care if he had some way of knowing who you were and tracking you down.

        [–]TheGatesOfValhalla 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Ignoooooreeee all texts do not respond

        [–]brinkleybuzz 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        Don't respond until you talk to an attorney. You could be facing a rape charge or Title IX charge, especially if she's trying to save face with her boyfriend, and your response could be used as evidence against you.

        [–]boscoist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        as others have said, the only winning move here is not to play. say nothing and stay silent. you don't want to plate a chick with a GF and you certainly don't want to LTR a cheater. there's really no need to ever talk to her again.

        [–]epicness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I would just not respond to this text. If she brings it up in person, respond then with something. It could be her boyfriend, potential rape charges could also be a possibility

        [–]1oldredder 3 points4 points  (0 children)


        Classic rape-trap.

        If she can't remember it she ought to so now the ONLY thing to help her fuck your life over is a text you can't deny later in court admitting you had sex.

        Boyfriend/cheating: even BIGGER reason, once she's caught, to make up a rape story.

        [–]50pluspiller 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        Your response: "Did you take advantage of me?" or a variation: "Whoa! You DID take advantage of me!"

        [–]Dirkz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        or this

        [–]plenty_of_eesh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Make up your mind, Dirkz

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        deleted 11946)

        [–]Willow-girl 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Not necessarily. "Blackout" drinking is a state that refers, not to unconsciousness, but intoxication to the point where you don't remember what happened. I was always a blackout drinker beyond about 5 drinks. Oh what fun I must have had, LOL.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        deleted 66129)

        [–]kankouillotte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Big red flag on her part

        Red flag for a gf, but white flag for your dick.

        [–]davidrosesfashionbag 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        "I don't remember."

        [–]absolucion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        This is one of the many reasons why I don't fuck around with women in relationships. This sounds like serious post-coital ASD to me. I would follow the suggestion of others and say that you didn't because you couldn't get it up from all the alcohol. I would then proceed to soft next her to be on the safe side.

        [–]fcb98292 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        relatively very


        She was either too drunk to remember (which is why I drink no alcohol at all) or she is shit testing you. The answer is that you don't remember.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]1oldredder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          not acceptable.

          Courts will always decide in that case the man is a rapist and woman was a victim. Always.

          [–]TestosTyrone1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Why didn't she ask you that in the morning? Tell her to call you.

          [–]hamstercide 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          She can still record the call.

          [–]Red_M3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          "You were a good girl", gives her feelz deniability, gives her validation if she remembers the sex. No lose response.

          [–]squidracer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          "who is this?"

          [–]dgillz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          How do know she wasn't blackout drunk?

          Blackout != passing out. A blackout is when you can't remember something. A person in an alcoholic blackout, while you can generally tell they have been drinking, still functions pretty normally. You can carry on entire conversations with people, play cards, pool, video games etc - and even win these games - and be blackout drunk. They literally do not remember any of it the next day.

          Source: I am a recovering alcoholic who has blacked out many times.

          [–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I don't know why I dudes aren't smart enough to not fuck drunk chicks.

          [–]099v0s0d9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Or just a one character:


          Make her lay down her cards a bit so you know what you're dealing with