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My best friend's girlfriend flirts with me, texted me telling me she's attracted to me, and I don't know what to do. (self.asktrp)

submitted by SinatraDaVinci

My friend's girlfriend confessed that she is very attracted to me, we've been friends (through her boyfriend) for a few months. I find her attractive but don't want to mess with her relationship at all. I'm currently living with this friend and currently don't know what to do. Very surreal situation, this sort of thing has happened twice before and it seems to fuck all friendships up; can anyone give me some advice?

(EDIT: "this sort of thing happened twice before" means it's happened in the past with OTHER girls who have a boyfriend, not the same one!! important detail you guys may have misinterpreted.


[–]TheDreadnought1 171 points172 points  (13 children)

It's not fucking worth it.

If you really care about the guy, tell him. Not just tell him since her word is stronger than yours to him, but show him prints, audios or whatever, maybe even tease her a bit so she goes further and you have more proof.

If you don't care that much, just dismiss. But don't go for her, srsly, this shit will end bad

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (6 children)

more often than not, the friend will just be upset with you for being the bearer of bad news—and he might even resent you for it (similarly to how a woman might act in the same situation. “feelings” dominate a woman just as much as a beta)

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 45 points46 points  (3 children)

If you get mad at someone who does you the huge solid of exposing your cheating SO......you're what's wrong with the world.

If he gets butthurt at the OP, good riddance. Great test of a friendship.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

yeah but you apply this filter to all of your friends and you’ll be left with no one but yourself most of the time

[–]MillionaireSexbomb 10 points11 points  (1 child)

A lot of it has to do with how you present it and what the guy is like to begin with. No matter what he’s going to be upset because someone he trusted is now perceived as a threat to his relationship, someone his girlfriend wants more than him, and now he’s going to wonder how long it has been going on, etc.

in the end he’s doing him what a real friend would do, where he’s looking out for his friends interest with a low value woman, and there will be consequences for it.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Never be the bearer of bad news.

Keep the texts, block the chick. Let her find some other way to fuck up the relationship. Right or wrong, the friend will associate OP with his cheating girlfriend.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Nooooooo

He will resent YOU, not her. He’s probably already beta, and telling him will not lead him to assess the situation (like an alpha would do). He will just get sensitive and pissed. He’ll resent you and try to make things work with her a la she apologizing and explaining it away for his hamster.

Get out of that guy’s house and move on. With or without her.

[–]Aggressive_Beta 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If he gets pissed at OP then OP is better off without him anyway. Life is too short to waste on spending time with salty betas. These are the kinds of situations where you find out if someone is truly your friend or not. And if this guy is truly OP’s friend he won’t get upset with OP but will thank him

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I particularly agree with your last sentence.

problem is, guys with that kind of emotional maturity ar very few and far between.

and since he is living in the same space with this guy I think he would do better to get out before he tests the waters. not good to live in the same space as someone who is bitterly against you.

I hope I am wrong and everything would go well though.

[–]Aggressive_Beta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If he doesn’t tell his friend, then his friend might find out another way and assume that OP kept it a secret because they were fucking behind his back.

If OP tells the girl to fuck off then she will falsely accuse him of rape.

OP can’t win, he needs get out ASAP. Dumb ho is screwing everything up

[–]Aywing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I disagree, he should definitely try to steer his friend to breaking up with her, but backstabbing should never be an option(even if she deserves it).

[–]omalik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do NOT tease her, that implicates you and makes you seem complicit. even if it is to gather evidence it is still gas-lighting.

[–]davos224 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Tell your friend, he will resent you for it but it’s the right call.

[–]RylanBlackwood 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Totally ghost her dude better to do nothing at all.

[–]michaelkc03 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Bros before hos...as old as time.

[–]AbdulCapon 21 points22 points  (5 children)

If shit is serious tell your friend A S A P. But most importantly use this behaviour to internalise and sink that AWALT.

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

It's not serious but she likes me a lot. Seems like this happened because my friend kept letting her speak to me alone, no real boundaries in their relationship. (edit: obviously there's boundaries but he's a nice guy and lets her do what she wants)

[–]seeforce 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I just found out my "best friend' and my ex were hooking up for months behind my back. Man up and bring it to him. If you are really friends, he needs to know his girl is not loyal.

[–]seeforce 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I found out they were screwing around, I never spoke to either of them again. I've known him for over 10 years. He is dead to me now. Think about what your friendship, and even more importantly, your integrity means to you.

[–]wheresMYsteakAt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is probably more common than you think. How did you catch them/find out?

[–]seeforce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah I suppose you're right. I saw them walking down the street with each other, right outside the bar I work at lol.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Personally I’d tell her to cut the shit first. It might just be harmless fun for her and no reason to pull your friend down. If she’s serious then tell him. He should know.

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Cheers, this advice makes sense to me. I've told her that we are only friends and have no intention of messing with the relationship. Just surprised she's told me this.

[–]LeftAndRed 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If she’s telling you, shes telling others. Sadly, women are largely fungible.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If that doesn't work tell her she can tell him or you will, but that she can save face by doing it herself.

Similar thing happened to me in college, girl spilled her guts that she was playing both my friends and asked me what one to pick. I told her to break up with both or I'd explain the whole thing. She did and a big mess was avoided.

Law 7: get others to do the work for you.

Remember women look to preserve social cohesion. Frame the argument in a way that she'll think she can maintain it.

In the end his bluepill values may make it so he is unable to see through her AWALT. Be prepared to loose him.

[–]Aggressive_Beta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not “harmless fun”, that’s the kind of shit that warrants any LTR a NEXT

[–]THESkipp 16 points17 points  (3 children)

It’s your call.. personally I won’t ever fuck someone who I call a mates missus, regardless of the situation (she is a 10, he is cool with it ETC). I won’t even fuck a recent ex, if it’s a past fuck and he is cool I’ll take it on a situation by situation but generally I won’t still.
True mates are not easy to come by and NO woman is worth it. Ever. In my opinion frame is also personal rules/guidelines. You should figure yours out and stick to them.
EDIT - forgot to add, tell your mate. If he is dirty with you remind him you didn’t fuck her and you are telling him because you respect him.. worth keeping proof also mate.

[–]seeforce 0 points1 point  (2 children)

wish I had friends like you

[–]THESkipp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hahaha if your in Sydney let me know and we can go for a beer

[–]seeforce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just got a passport so I'll be down there soon enough!

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 12 points13 points  (2 children)

This is a huge drama trap

[–]shango130 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Classic drama trap.

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

innit

[–]stylesm11 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don't lose a true friend over some pussy , think with your brain

[–]Goal10der 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So many girls end up fucking their mans best friend. Has Happened so many times to people I know. By telling him, your saving him from getting in deep with a braud who is clearly not committed as he is.

[–]dotwav2mpfree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the contrary, using a woman's best friend to get her attention is the oldest trick in the book.

[–]bemacho97 5 points6 points  (0 children)

2 words fam:

Bro code...

That is all....

[–]Retstortion 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s a test If it’s not Tell him

[–]Thunderfin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bros before hoes. Don't lose your best friend over a girl. It's sort of happened to me and I regret it, big time. Next.

[–]Fielder57 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Take it from an older guy in his 30s. Women come and go but good friends are hard to find, Especially as you get older and people start to get married and have kids.

Either tell him, or don't tell him. But FFS don't get involved with her!

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This seems like good advice, thank you very much.

[–]Avesatanie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex left for my brother. I will assure you: it feels like shit for me, not because her, because it was my brother.

[–]dotwav2mpfree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I told the friend, and he didn't believe me. The woman denied it, and they went on to get married. While I lost a friend, and may have gained a bit of a reputation for sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Don't be like me. Ignore it, for your sake. Or, take her up on the offer. Idfc

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

> I find her attractive but don't want to mess with her relationship at all.

If you want to fuck her, fuck her.

If you don't, don't.

But don't do half and half... flirting back and not following through. This will create resentment.

[–]1walawalawa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A story and a cautionary tale. I had a plate I was banging who wanted me to get more serious. She was truly nuts but I was banging her.

At some point she started chasing after 2 friends of mine---and then telling me they were hanging out. But these two guys showed their true colours as thirsty losers.

So plate has melt-down, I ghost her, she apparently gets one of these "friends" to take her out to an expensive dinner, gets sloppy drunk, gets the wine to go and takes him to the park and tries to fuck him.

He told me all this after she did some crazy shit to me at a party i was hosting.

After that I ghosted the girl---obviously.

But i also ghosted the "Friend". You can't trust assholes like that.

Point is she was trying to create drama and tension between me and my friend in a some fucked up bid to get more attention from me.

It totally backfired on her and on this "friend". he still sees me out and about and tries to talk to me...i just say hi and walk away.

Got it? Don't be that thirsty loser and get caught up in a chick's "Let's you and him fight" drama.

I wouldn't tell the guy....she wants you to tell the guy.

Just ghost her and play it cool with him for a while so you don't get caught up in their shit.

[–]daytonbull90 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You do anything with her, you lose your friend. Females get away with shit like this all the time, make her think twice before she does it again, ruin her a little. Get proof, get audio, pictures, whatever, and show it to your friend. Your friend will trust you more.

[–]Pluglord 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sum ain’t right... why is she so comfortable telling this to you?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

most likely she has absolutely zero respect for her current bf

[–]justicecantakeanap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You tell your best friend and fully apply the bro code.

[–]rp_newdawn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell her to fuck off. Dead serious.

[–]UncleChido 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in this situation a few times. Take some advice from my experience.

Avoid her at all costs. Never. Never. Ever make out with your friend’s girl. Guys never forgive this. Women are property, and the worst you could do to a man is to rob him.

If she tries escalating by sending texts and all, call off her bluff. Tell her straight away that you’re not interested, and like others have mentioned here, try to have some proof (like texts convos) incase she tries to put it on you. You can never predict bitches.

I’ve had a friend remember (by casually mentioning) my fling with his girl 7 years later. Avoid her like the plague bro. There’s plenty of fish out there.

[–]mojokabobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I say talk to your buddy about it, and tag team her.

[–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Your friend's relationship is doomed anyway. She'll do the same with some other guy (good chance she already has).

That's not necessarily a reason to bang her, since that will likely get found out, cost you the friend, and possibly anyone in your mutual social circle. Also remember that FRA chances go way up if the girl is in a position where she can lie her way out of being accused of cheating.

How good is the friend? If you're REALLY tight, like childhood friends or army buds who saved each other's lives, I would have a sit down (preferable somewhere he can't immediately light up her phone and will have time to think before doing anything stupid) and tell him what's up - but also tell him not to tell her you told him. If you don't trust his on this point, he's not a good friend. Do you have evidence (texts she sent, etc?) B/c if not, and he does confront her, 100% chance that she tells him "no, HE hit on me!! he's lying that pig!!! sob sob sob can you beat him up for me?" and 90% chance he believes her, b/c that's so much easier for his ego.

If you don't have evidence (her sexting you etc.) and/or are not SUPER tight with the guy, then you can't really tell him, sadly. No good deed goes unpunished.

If he is a tight bro, AND decently alpha (i.e. he immediately dumps her and gives some other reason), then the way his clear for you to bang her if so inclined. But banging her shouldn't be your first priority, since this is a risky situation.

[–]dotwav2mpfree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best advice, don't tell him without tangible evidence.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most women giggle at the prospect of sabotaging their friend's relationships. Don't be a woman. Bros before hoes, man.

He deserves to know that his GF is a lying, scheming ho.

Get her to send you nudes, then, if successful, get her to describe her fantasies.

Then screenshot, and email to your bro anonymously.

[–]Ill_Will7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You live with your friend only right? its not like the 3 of you live together? Your gunna have to friend zone her hard. Although that might make her more horny for you...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell your friend to next her

[–]Shredderick420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The same thing happened to me, but I was the friend. And theother friend didnt tell me, they started an affaie behind my back. We weren't friends anymore for a long time. Scarcity mindset was his thing when I look back. In my eyes it's not worth it. I would tell your friend about her attraction towards you. Bros before hos. There are plenty fish in the sea. I guess your friend isvery bluepilled in the relationship? I was a lot.

[–]Andorli 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is he really your best friend? I think you would know what to do if that was the case.

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

was exaggerating, not my 'best' friend. We are very close and see eachother every day more or less though.

[–]bobbobbitybob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This may backfire, as she may deny everything and if he is BP, he will blame you for being a dickhead. I would personally cut it off and if you feel like the guy is RP enough to handle it - tell. If not, mind your own business.

[–]ocebitkaj 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I find her attractive but don't want to mess with her relationship at all.

Yeah, you’re a real great best friend talking HER relationship, and not about his relationship. Meaning, you’re putting her in front of him which really you’re doing because you’re selfish and trying to fuck her.

Man up, tell him what’s going on. Even if she isn’t serious about the whole thing she needs to know that isn’t acceptable behaviour.

Also, be a better friend - you only get so many of those.

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I used the words "her relationship" because I was talking to "her", ignoring the context makes you jump to silly irrational conclusions. Objectively speaking, I'm not selfish for finding her attractive, this is a stupid observation. I have told her it is unacceptable and she has apologised.

I am a great friend to him, some things are better left unsaid it seems. If it escalates of course I'll tell him.

[–]ocebitkaj 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m talking about - the whole story is about her and not about him. Of course you can find her attractive, I’m sure if she were unattractive this whole post wouldn’t even exist 😄

Just think about it as a shittest. She’s testing both you and your friend to see how important you guys are to eachother in comparison to her. You passed it by telling her to get her shit in line. Now you’re friend is more value in her eyes because she knows he is more important to you than she is and she knows you’re from Abundance City and all her friends will know soon.

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Right I see your point thanks. What is does "Abundance City" mean I don't usually come on here, not familiar with all terminology.

[–]ocebitkaj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It means you’re have a lot of girls to choose from, meaning you’re not in scarcity.

[–]wildnight98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro’s before ho’s. Tell him of course. A best friend is way more valuable than a cheating plate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell him.

If he will get mad at you then this friendship was destined for shit.

If you fuck her it will come out, if you tell him at least he has your loyalty.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ignore it completely. Her vibe around you both together will tell him for you.

[–]redbarone -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

How good a friend is your friend? If he hasn't had your back in a physical fight, then fuck her. Is he a childhood friend? Then don't fuck her. Will you know him in a year? No? Then fuck her.

The choice is yours. Her pussy probably feels really good, especially when you have that guilty pleasure feeling.

[–]Swoleygrowly -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

Fuck her, then tell him she’s a cheating whore immediately, don’t hide it, he should thank you

[–]SinatraDaVinci[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

cheers for the shitty advice, stick to 4chan.

[–]Swoleygrowly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve told all my friends out right, “I will fuck your girlfriend if she allows it, I will immediately tell you it happened, but I will if she allows it” they know it’s the truth and they may or may not get mad if I do, regardless I’m doing them a favor.