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I feel asexual after years of blue pill behaviour. Do you have any advices ? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Pamphlet__

I'm 21, my last LTR of 4 years ended 1 year ago.

I got used to not looking at girls anymore, she was my special snowflake and I turned myself into a sexless young man, for the purpose of being a good boyfriend (I was sooo wrong, and the sex wasn't good).

Now that I'm free to look for ONS or plates, I never close. I really enjoy the game of flirting, I know that I have a lot of opportunities to escalate without the risk of rejection, but instead of that I just stay where I am. It's like I prefer being "friend" and playing with a girl emotionally than having sex. I want the intimacy but not the sex, and I feel wrong about that.

I stopped porn/masturbation but it's not enough.

Have you ever heard about a similar story ?


[–]GC0W30 21 points22 points  (5 children)

If this is legit what you want, no reason to post about it.

A bunch of guys on a subreddit who like to have 2-3 girlfriends and bone one at least every weekend have one goal, you have another. No shame in any of that.

Just be fit, healthy, happy, productive, and if you feel the desire to fuck women, do it. If you don't, don't.

[–]Pamphlet__[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children)

You're right, I'm too much on TRP right now and I believe being without sex drive makes me feel abnormal beside these testosterone fountains.

I'll keep working on myself and listen to my desires. There's nothing wrong with having low sex drive.

[–]GC0W30 8 points9 points  (2 children)

My experience is that mine comes and goes depending on other factors. Sometimes school matters more, sometimes career, sometimes hobbies.

21 is a great age to emphasize school, job, career or starting a business. Maybe your subconscious is telling you to focus on one of those.

[–]coloredzebra 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Thanks Op, you've made me come to a strong epiphany. I've still got major work to do, yet treat my recent successes like I've already won...

Yet, I'm nowhere near my inital goals...fuck.

[–]kruxofthemimed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha good luck stranger. There's always gonna be work to do

[–]StinkyDiaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I had a very low sex drive. It'd make my married life so much less complicated.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]silver-gun 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Chill bruh. 2-hour is too early to expect pile of answers, and you don't worry about downvotes on reddit (it's also +4 currently).

[–]Ezreal3 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I definitely understand the innate pleasure of flirting and being a little "silly" with girls. I have ton of female friends who've effectively 'friend-zoned' me. These relationships have been so heavily defined into what they are now that it would be easier to just find new girls to take things to a physical level.

But anyway, physical relationships eventually run their course faster than non-physical relationships. So I've ended up accumulating of platonic-flirty female friends. Most red-pill guys would wonder what purpose these friendships have. But I guess I get something out of them?

I can't really relate to having zero sex drive though. I would try to get it fixed somehow because sex is amazing. But then again, on some level, I'm a slave to my sex drive. So maybe you have it right afterall.

[–]Pamphlet__[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

We have some interesting thoughts in common.

I also appreciate to have these platonic-flirty female friend around. Maybe they are more open to emotional connection than guys on some aspects. And maybe it reassures me about my ability to flirt. I've built some deep friendships with girls and I know that escalation is on my responsability, so if I don't do anything, we will stay friends.

However the risk of investing too much time with them is to eventually be influenced on a deeper level, and to behave more like them unconsciously. That's why I believe TRP is even more important to keep in mind for people like you and me who have a tendancy to become friends with women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if you've been reading a lot of posts, but maybe look up monk mode. Are you lifting/eating healthy? I'm in a ltr and I know on weeks i skip the gym or eat junk food my sex drive goes down. Also you've had years of conditioning not to look at other girls and being hard on yourself. My advice is find a MALE friend or mentor. Someone who does gym and will wingman with you-but not to the point of i'm so alpha i was the wingman and then fucked the girl he was going after shitpost. If you aren't feeling a sex drive you could just be sad--the worldview changed form however your last relationship ended and coping with a new reality coupled with another set of views from the redpill can be overwhelming. Let me assure you it's not a one month journey. It's something that takes a while to understand, a while longer to practice and find what works for you, and then it'll be constant work in either your hunt or your next relationship.

How old are you? That's how many years of conflicting information you have to compare and make conclusions. How long was your ltr? 4 Years-you'll be over it in another year. Guess what I still think about my first love once in a blue moon, not in a remorse sad way, but STILL after YEARS it pops in there.

I was focused on fitness and went from an obese 4/5 to 7 maybe 8, after two years of it. I still vape after chantix/lozenges/patches/etc. I'm still broke two years after quitting my sales job to pursue my dream career.

My quality of life has probably gone down since I discovered the redpill, but I can tell you that I am much happier. I'm straightforward with my girlfriend and coworkers about what I want and i'm not apologetic.

tl;dr-I was maybe worse off than you, and I started doing what I want. The focus of TRP is inward at the start of your journey and you've already identified your feelings. Find some strengths to build on and keep working man!

[–]Ezreal3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yup definitely. It's always been a guilty pleasure of mine to essentially act like a girl amidst a group of girls; exaggerated facial expressions, uninhibited playful-emotional-reactions, the whole 9 yards. It's not beta behavior, it's full blown tranny/homo behavior haha. I never had the influence of a male role model growing up so acting this way came pretty naturally for me.

anywayyy, I've been able to sculpt this behavior into something far more appropriate as I've gotten older. RedPill and quality male friends have helped immensely.

[–]Casanova-Quinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If your worried about a low sex drive, get your testosterone levels checked. That's going to be the easiest way to figure out if your issue is the body or the mind.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents forced a breakup with my gf at 16. Girls since then treated me poorly.

[–]mr_nate_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I helped my friend (22 at the time), who had never had a girlfriend much less sex, and who had basically become asexual like you -- turn it around. He had gone years without pursuing chicks. I'd like to take credit for kind of jump starting his sex life, although it really did come down to him.

He basically got oneitis for this chick, which normally goes against TRP guidelines, but it helped in this case. The oneitis triggered something in him, and he got his heart broken of course after he fucked this chick. But now after about a year of working on things with him I've got him to plate different chicks and he's loving it. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but maybe you should go fall hard for a chick and sorta get your heart ripped open.